#deermageddon

How it's going:

i saw one deer sprinting across the highway from the median and immediately put on the brakes because there’s always more than one and this place in the road is a favorite spot for them to cross.  i already knew there was gonna be another one i couldn’t avoid and sure enough there she was. midsize doe, the tow lady said she looked like a yearling. she went right in front and i hit her dead center of her body mass, dead center of the vehicle grille. the deer went flying off to the right while i  crossed lanes and pulled over to the shoulder. i wanted to turn off the headlights so aud wouldn’t have to watch the poor animal seizing and thrashing but my fucking hazards suddenly didn’t work (!!!!!) so i had to leave the lights on or be invisible on a 50 mph stretch of road. naturally the deer was right there in the shoulder in front of us centered in the light so we got to watch her kick and thrash for like a minute or so. fucking hideous pitiful death. She died inside a blood arc halo of hoofmarks.

we had no injuries, seat belts all around. ellie had her Easy Rider car harness on and was tethered in place so she stayed put. i just double checked for any marks on her armpits or neck from the harness cutting in and she’s just fine. a little upset because she could smell deer but was never allowed to approach it. the airbags didn’t go off.

got out, checked hood of car. Steam and hissing. Cracked radiator was my first guess, later the fluid was puddling up green in the gutter. turned off car, called seebs for a lift home, called non-emergency police and asked what do. 

what do was: cop came, got info, took report, then checked the deer (which had stopped thrashing long since). he also used his little cattle prod thingie to poke it in the eye and make absolutely sure it was dead. he said that was the best way to make sure. he also asked if we wanted the deer and i was very tempted but i said i would have no idea where to dress a deer at this time of night. tow lady said the smashed up muscles would have been gross anyway. she speculated maybe the flank would still be good and told me it was better to be hit by a car than starve over the winter, which is a real possibility.

so. they towed the vehicle to our Shop of Choice, and seebs drove me and aud home with ellie in the back.  we got home around midnight.

i got tons of photos. i mean. of course i did. they’ll go up on @crassderp in a little bit here.

🎬 Title: The Rise of the Deermageddon When hunters become prey. Story: A retired football player returns to his ailing hometown, where he partners with the community to create a music festival aimed at countering the corrupt mayor and a horde of zombie mutant deer. ⭐ Rating: 0 (0 votes) 📅 Release date: 2025-03-14 ⏱️ Runtime: 15m 🎭 Genres: Music, Comedy, Horror 🎬 Director: JB Thompson ✍️ Writers:…