#declinsky

It's not like Declan had never fucked his way out of sticky situations before. Sticky seemed like a callous choice of words, but accurate nonetheless. Declan was used to sticky; peeling away parts of himself like used fly paper, losing bits and pieces over the years until someone he barely recognized remained. And it's not like Declan had never fucked anyone less than attractive. Middle-aged men who begged to be his daddy, women whose faces had been lifted and tuckeed and pulled. In fact, if he had to compare, Joseph Kavinsky was one of the more appealing people to wager sexual favors from him. Appealing in the physical sense at least. He wasn't so bad to look at, but the second he opened his mouth Declan remembered why he hated the boy so much.

Declan does go back to Kavinsky. he's got a match. and when he does, K is.....not nice. he could never pull off nice, and Declan would never expect it of him. but he's better. he lets Declan snap at him and doesn't snap back. he kisses Declan more gently than he usually does. he even talks bad about Ronan for once. (last he saw, Ronan was attacking and blaming Declan, which is exactly what he was hoping for. to sow chaos, drive a wedge between them, make things fun and interesting.)

his version of lovebombing is basically just not being a shithead, and it works because the bar is set so so low 🙃 it's not like Declan thinks they're in love or anything. he knows that's not what this is or will ever be. he knows he should be walking away, mutual toxicity or abuse, but it's easy to let himself be talked into forgetting that when Kavinsky says and does all the right things to make him feel like what he'd said to Ronan was true:

it's really not that bad. he doesn't know what he was freaking out over.

Ronan, for his part, is fucking pissed at Declan. but he also can't forget everything. no matter what Declan claims, he was fucking scared last night. Ronan can't forget what he said about being lonely and desperate and putting up with shit treatment because he didn't have anyone else. even if Declan is an asshole, that shit's fucked up and not okay.

the only reason Ronan wasn't going straight out to beat Kavinsky's ass into the ground was because Declan asked him not to, but now he's mad at Declan, so fuck it!!!

he's all riled up and pissed off and needs to do something, and kicking the shit out of Kavinsky is a pretty appealing option. problem is, K runs with a crew and is rarely alone. so Ronan alone doesn't pose all that much of a threat, no matter how good a fighter he is, and all Kavinsky does is laugh through a mouthful of blood and taunt him about how much Declan is gagging for his dick.

"you wanna hear about how he begs for me to fuck him? he's real fucking pretty when he begs. i bet i can get him to call me daddy soon."

so that confrontation goes. badly.

Ronan has to cut his losses when Kavinsky's buddies jump in to fight too, and it didn't actually accomplish anything besides giving Ronan some very distressing mental images. he falls back to lick his wounds, but not before declaring that he's not gonna race with Kavinsky anymore. with what K is doing to his brother, he's fucking done.

he's made that claim before and it's never come to anything, but this is different. this time he means it. he doesn't fuck around when it comes to family. he's not coming back.

Kavinsky is not happy about that. and who is he gonna take his frustrations out on? Declan just haaaad to go run his fucking mouth, didn't he.

it's one of those encounters that makes it reeeaaally hard for Declan to rationalize how this is not outright abuse. like most unpleasant escalations in their relationship, it's probably at least sex-adjacent. Declan's a trained and experienced fighter, he really could kick Kavinsky's ass in an outright fight, but dub-con edging into non-con is a very different thing to handle. Kavinsky putting his mouth to better use, one might say 🙃 not that much rougher, necessarily, than what they usually do, but with far more anger behind it. it feels very, very different.

but it's not abuse. and, therefore, if Kavinsky is not abusing him, then he must have done something to earn this. only he didn't do it this time.

Declan told him not to step up to K. Ronan did it anyway, and look what happens.

when Ronan comes around to his place because he won't answer his fucking phone, Declan's got fingerprint bruises on his neck and a spectacular black eye and he tells Ronan in no uncertain terms that this is his fault. that if he had just left well enough alone, like Declan fucking told him to, everything would've been FINE.

slams the door in his face.

locks it.

doesn't show up to mass that week.

Ronan's at a complete loss. how are you supposed to help someone who doesn't want to be helped? and how, when going after the person hurting him only makes things worse? what is he supposed to do??

Matthew is getting worried by now too. Declan's bruises aren't the kind that can be hidden or explained anyway by walking into door jambs anymore, and he's been acting weird enough for even Matthew to pick up on the fact that he's being lied to. Matthew calls Ronan, like "is Declan......okay? 😥"

which, obviously, he is not. but Ronan isn't sure he wants to tell Matthew that. doesn't wanna lie to him, doesn't wanna burden him. but in the end, they're all brothers, and Matthew has as much right to know that Declan isn't okay as he does.

and, he thinks, maybe Matthew can get through to Declan where he's failed to! weaponize those big sad concerned puppy dog eyes! problem is, Declan knows immediately that Ronan put him up to it, and now he's lashing out at Matthew too, which he's never done before.

Kavinsky's operation is getting more attention. that means more and better competitors. higher odds, higher profits.

Declan has never lost a match.

but he's been fighting so much for so long, he's exhausted and he never has a chance to recover from any of his injuries. not to mention, ya know, Kavinsky, who never feels the need to retreat once he's pushed (or crossed) a boundary. plus the general emotional strain of trying to convince himself that he's okay and handling this.

exhausted, always in pain, pissed at Ronan, guilty for having yelled at Matthew, teachers getting concerned because his grades are slipping.

Declan doesn't lose a match.

but he gets close.

Kavinsky is.............displeased. and suddenly Declan's position as his favorite prize fighter is in jeopardy, and Kavinsky makes it very clear that he will drop Declan the second he disappoints him.

this is, unfortunately, when Ronan shows up at the ring again.

every other attempt to contact Declan has failed. he won't answer his fucking phone, he's stopped coming to mass, he's evaded all of Ronan's attempts to find him at school, he'll barely even talk to Matthew, and he hasn't been home when Ronan's gone looking there, so this is the only thing he's got left to try.

at this point, he just wants to see Declan. is it too much to ask to fucking see him and make sure he's fucking ALIVE and in one piece?? he can't get the image of Declan with fingerprint bruises on his throat out of his mind. he knows better than anyone how fucking volatile Kavinsky can be. if the only way to check on Declan is to go back into the metaphorical belly of the beast, then so be it.

only Declan won't look at him, and K won't let him get close to try and talk. "big brother's got his game face on, can't have any distractions." clearly relishing Ronan's concern and frustration. that he's got something to hold over Ronan's head. "all that power," he croons, "and i get to take him. all because you didn't wanna play."

it's impulsive, Ronan saying that maybe he wants to play now. but it catches Kavinsky off guard which is not easy to do.

"you've been trying to get me to fight for you for ages. what, you don't want me anymore?"

"oh, i want you. baby, i always want you."

leering in a way that would've squicked Ronan out even before, now that Ronan knows what Kavinsky has done to his brother?? makes his fucking skin crawl. but needs must.

Declan, on the other hand, is furious. everything else aside, this, the fights, the ring -- it's his. this is where he has value, where he's the best. he's carved out a place for himself where it feels like he matters for once. he is not ABOUT to let Ronan show him up, here of all places, absolutely the fuck not. especially not with the warning from Kavinsky so fresh.

how much of his life has he spent playing second fiddle to Ronan? how quickly will Kavinsky drop him if he stops being the best? (what will happen to him when Kavinsky gets tired of him?)

if Ronan wants to fight, and Kavinsky wants to let him, then fuck it. Declan's gonna win this fight if it kills him.

by the time they get in the ring, Ronan is very much doubting his life choices here, but he's in too deep to back out and maybe he can get some words in edgewise during the match. it's not like he's never boxed with Declan before. they grew up doing this! this should be old hat.

but it's not like any of those matches. this is Declan pacing like a caged tiger, covered in a patchwork of fresh and half-healed bruises, looking like he's ready to rip Ronan's throat out. he doesn't fucking hesitate when the bell sounds. he definitely doesn't like Ronan get a word in. his technique is sloppy (the exhaustion is really catching up to him, and he's letting his anger drive him more than is wise), but he's out for blood. and there's a reason that Declan is undefeated.

Ronan, fresh and uninjured, is pretty sure he could win this match if he really wanted to.........but that's not the point. he didn't come here to win, he came for his brother's sake, and with the way Kavinsky is watching them, the way Declan is fighting like his life depends on it, the way he looks for Kavinsky's approval in every break......

Ronan throws the fight.

it doesn't take much, they're pretty evenly matched on a good day, all he has to do is pull back a tiny bit and Declan lays him out flat.

undefeated.

the crowd goes wild, everyone is cheering, Declan's got a gloved hand raised in triumph. K goes to him, like he always does at the end of a match, taking him by the shoulders, crowing.

usually, that's it. Kavinsky isn't much about propriety, tbh, but he's been pretty okay with keeping their fooling around to themselves, as is certainly Declan's preference. there are other algionby students in the crowd. there are potential future business associates. people Declan doesn't necessarily want to come out to and definitely doesn't want to wave his dirty laundry under the nose of.

but Ronan is watching.

so Kavinsky kisses Declan, right there in the ring, in front of the roaring crowd. because what Declan wants doesn't really matter when stacked up against the opportunity to stake his claim with Ronan there to witness it.

Ronan finds Declan in the warehouse's makeshift locker room after and tries talking to him again. tries to explain that he didn't actually come here to fight. he still wants to help him get out of this.

"don't come crying to me" definitely gets brought up, but Declan is also still insistent (maybe even more so now, sunk cost fallacy and whatnot) that he doesn't need help anyway, and where does Ronan get off pulling a stunt like this anyway?? fuck him.

"that kiss, then, in front of everyone. you're saying you wanted that? that wasn't a problem?"

"i'm saying it's none of your fucking business who i kiss, when, or where."

Kavinsky finds them. riled up from the fight, the victory, the successful shit-stirring and the goddamn DRAMA of it all. his hands on Declan's hips, kissing his neck. making eye contact with Ronan over his shoulder the whole time. "you staying for the rest of the show?"

Declan tries to push him off, to get him to stop, but resisting never does him much good when K's in this mood anyway, and he's not gonna make a fucking scene about it in front of Ronan. he's not gonna risk pissing K off and making it worse.

every instinct Ronan has is screaming at him to attack, but he remembers the bruises on Declan's throat, the door closing in his face, "this is your fault".

he looks away and keeps his mouth shut.

Kavinsky doesn't push it too far, just far enough to make his point, to feel like he's got both Lynches under his control. he leaves them alone again, promises Declan he'll be back in a few minutes so leave the motor running.

all Ronan says is "you deserve better than this."

Declan feels like punching him again. the night has been one humiliation after another. winning felt good, for a minute, like it always does, but it's ever-diminishing returns. Ronan's concern, his pity, reminds Declan of just how much it's not enough. he's tired, and angry, and ashamed. Kavinsky just pushed another one of his boundaries (a big one), and he's gonna come back wanting sex, which Declan is not in the mood for, and basically everything is fucking terrible.

he tells Kavinsky no.

he lets Ronan leave without comment, and he tries to make himself give Kavinsky what he wants, but he's so worked up and angry that all of it comes out in K's direction. all his suppressed anxiety and the conflicted feelings Ronan brought up in him vented into an argument about that public kiss.

Kavinsky was in such a good mood, but not anymore. he's really real tired of Declan's fucking attitude, thinking he can run his mouth off like this when K has been gracious enough to provide him with all this money and acclaim. where's his goddamn gratitude?

clearly, he needs to be reminded of his place. Kavinsky is not gentle about making his point, even if it'll knock Declan out of the ring for a while. and when he's finished, Declan, for the first time in a long time, calls Ronan.

he says the magic words.

"i need help."

Ronan may be pissed, but he picks up, and he turns the car around. Declan's right where he left him, only significantly bloodier.

Declan bitter and ashamed, letting Ronan half-carry him to the car: "finally got what you wanted, huh?"

Ronan, really wishing they were not back in this position, right where they were weeks ago, only worse: "Deklo, this is not what i wanted."

but it may be the breaking point that's needed for Declan to really and truly accept the position he's in. denial can hold up to a lot, especially for someone as proud and stubborn as a Lynch, but everyone has a limit. Ronan, at least, sure fucking hopes this is that limit.

.

.......aaaand that's installment 2 😂😂😂 i continue to muse on it and let it play out in my brain like a very self-indulgent movie. how to get Declan out from under Kavinsky's thumb when Kavinsky has no real conscience and is a dreamer to whom the law is really more of a gentle suggestion than a real threat?? idk, i'll figure it out sometime lmao, i'm just here for the hurt/comfort