#decision made

Decision Made

They were quiet as they drove, a different quiet that seemed to settle over them these days. Their personal lives had begun to intertwine in a new way and it had scared her, doubtful thoughts filling her head. She could sense his annoyance at times and she did not know how to push past the barrier that had settled between them.

A sniff from the backseat reminded Scully that they were not alone. Agent Dena Roman, one of the agents they were working with on a missing persons case in Alabama, was catching a ride back to the motel where they were all staying.

“It’s so dark,” Agent Roman said and Scully had a hard time not replying that, of course it was dark, as that was what happened at night. Holding her tongue, she crossed her arms and looked out the window.

“Is your motel room okay?” Agent Roman asked and Scully closed her eyes as she rolled them.

“Yes. It’s fine.”

“Yeah. Mine too, I suppose. Could I ask your advice, Agent Scully?”

“Uh,” Scully said, opening her eyes and turning her head, meeting Mulder’s eyes for a quick second before she looked back at Agent Roman. “I… okay.”

“How long would you wait around for a man to decide if he loved you?”

“I’m sorry?” Scully asked, completely taken aback, having expected the advice to be about the case.

“I know that’s not what you were anticipating, and perhaps not the best thing to discuss in mixed company, but I could really use an outsiders opinion.”

“I… I really don’t think that I’m the person-”

“It’s just… you seem to have it all together and me… well, I’m a mess.”

Scully caught Mulder’s eye again, but he offered no help with the awkward situation in which they both now found themselves.

As they drove, out came Agent Roman’s tale of woe and within a few minutes, Scully felt her cheeks flame and she was glad for the dark of night to hide her discomfort.

Agent Roman could have been detailing her own life, so similar was the story being told. Friends with a man for seven years, closer to him than anyone else she had ever been in her life, she and Z, as she called him, had been drifting closer together recently and she wholeheartedly welcomed it.

“He’s my best friend,” she said quietly, shaking her head as it lay on the headrest. “I love him. I think I always have, but he… I don’t know how he feels. Or I do, but I feel as though he feels that way only because… I don’t know, like I’ve forced the situation or something. It’s always been so easy between us and now it feels like there’s a strain. I want more, but I don’t think he does. Or maybe he does and I’m… I don’t know. I’m not getting any younger and I… I can’t wait forever.” She let out a deep breath and Scully, her head down, looked at Mulder out of the corner of her eye.

“I just don’t know what to do,” Agent Roman continued, sighing again.

“You should tell him how you feel,” Mulder said, surprising both of the women, having not spoken throughout the entire story.

“You think I should?”

“Yeah.”

“Why? What if… if he says he’s not interested?”

“At least then you’d know,” Mulder said. “You wouldn’t be wondering and second guessing yourself.”

“But if I lose him? His friendship?” Agent Roman asked, sitting forward and looking at Mulder, as Scully raised her head and did the same.

“Is your friendship with him enough for you anymore?” Mulder asked and Agent Roman sighed.

“No.”

“Then I think you have your answer.”

“But… it could be messy. It could undoubtedly break my heart one way or the other.”

“It might,” Mulder agreed, turning his head and looking directly at Scully. “Or it could be what you’ve always wanted despite thinking you could live just fine without it.”

“Hmm, I don’t know about that,” Agent Roman said, sitting back again, completely unaware of the silent conversation now taking place as Mulder and Scully stared at one another. “But… it’s given me some things to think about. Thank you.”

“Yeah,” he said, his eyes back on the road, though he glanced at Scully a few times.

The motel came into view and he pulled in and parked. They all got out and made their way to their rooms. Scully looked at Mulder, two doors down, but he did not do the same. Agent Roman called goodnight and disappeared inside her room, leaving Scully the only one standing outside on the step.

“Goodnight,” she whispered, unlocking her door and stepping into her room.

She paced once she was inside, thinking of all that Mulder had said in the car.

He had kissed her on New Year’s and she had reciprocated two days later as she had left his apartment, his arm still in a sling. Then case after case had piled on and she had pulled away, trauma from said cases plaguing her. Worry began to make her second guess things and she had cooled things between them before they even became lukewarm.

He had not said anything, not verbally anyway, but she saw it in the way he looked at her. She heard it in the silence and in the moments of awkward discussions.

Is your friendship with him enough for you anymore?

“No,” she whispered, stopping her pacing. “No, it’s not.”

Grabbing her key, she left the room and hurried to Mulder’s room, knocking twice on the door and waiting nervously for him to open it. It creaked as it did and he sighed, staring at her and waiting.

“It’s not enough for me anymore,” she whispered. “I want more.”

A smile worked its way across his lips and he opened the door wider, silently inviting her inside. She drew in a deep breath and stepped into the room, the door closing behind her with a soft click.

The frantic sound of an alarm pulled her from slumber and was silenced quickly. A low, grumbly voice cursed the sound as an arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer and a kiss was placed on the back of her neck.

“Good morning,” Mulder whispered, kissing her again.

Wanting to paint a wall black - I think this is a sign. Color name: Phantom Mist

Me: Yeah the makeup’s gonna be a bitch and a half in the morning.

Them: You... you don’t have to