#deathbloom

Deathbloom: Chapter 2

Deathbloom: Chapter 1

She’s gonna bloom!!! Sorry I’ve been AWOL for a bit, but I’m back now!! More plant pics to come :) hope everyone is doing well!

The first documented Kerwin + Frenchie Failduo. Will not be the last.

Part1 Part2 Part3 Part4 Part5

“How many bloody cunts does it take to fix one thermostat?” Butcher grumbled, throwing his jacket on. The crew had woken up on a fine autumn morning to the hideout being nearly thirty degrees. Frenchie and MM were gathered around the thermostat with tools scattered around the floor.

“You are very funny, Monsieur Charcutier,” Frenchie said, sifting through the tools.

Hughie stood over the couch piling blankets over Kerwin’s shivering form. Winter was always Hell for the mushroom supe. “Hurry up guys, I think Kerwin’s going dormant.”

Butcher rolled his eyes to the ceiling, “It’s always something with that moldy bastard.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing!” Frenchie threw his hands up.

“You tellin’ me you can make bombs with shit you pull out of your ass but you can’t fix the fuckin’ thermostat?”

“I’ll go plug in the space heater,” MM huffed, not wanting to be around for the argument that was brewing. Hughie started shaking Kerwin to keep him awake.

“Kermit, help Frenchie fix the thermostat.” Butcher barked, making his way towards the door.

Kerwin stirred, his hair sticking up at odd angles. “Wha– where are..?”

“Bar.” Then the door slammed.

“I can do it,” Hughie offered, helping Kerwin to his feet.

“No no,” Kerwin waved him off. “You have that lunch thing with Annie. Besides, some movement should do me good.” Hughie seemed to hesitate, but Kerwin’s stern look made him cave. Kerwin approached the wall, his sweater sleeves hanging at his sides.

Frenchie started unscrewing the thermostat, “I have something that should wake you up.”

“I am not snorting a line with you.”

“Worth a try, mon champignon.” Frenchie dug through his pockets and popped a couple pills in his mouth.

“Frenchie!” Kerwin panicked, his eyes blowing wide. “How are we supposed to fix the thermostat if you’re blasted on psychedelics?”

“Very carefully.”

It was a disaster. There were screws everywhere, various sizes kicked into messy piles to look somewhat organized. Every so often one of them would step on something they shouldn’t and let out a string of curse words.

As the apartment grew colder, Kerwin grew sleepier. Little oyster mushrooms broke through his skin as his power lulled him under. Mushrooms went dormant in the winter and unfortunately, so did Kerwin.

“Non, non, non,” Frenchie tutted, shaking Kerwin. “I need you awake, mon champignon.”

Kerwin’s eyes snapped open and he looked around, disoriented. Frenchie moved to grab the instruction manual from the coffee and stepped on yet another screw. 

“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT,” he cursed, his accent thickening. Frenchie punched the thermostat, successfully knocking it off the wall. That seemed to bring him to his senses and both men took a moment to survey the mess they’d made.

“Shit,” Kerwin muttered. “Butcher’s gonna kill us.”

“Well, I give up,” Frenchie declared, sitting on the couch. Kerwin gave the new hole in the wall one last look before joining him. Goosebumps prickled along his skin as he rubbed his hands on his pants. Frenchie paused in the middle of lighting a cigarette to stare at him.

“Am I growing mushrooms again?” 

Rather than respond, Frenchie looped an arm around Kerwin’s waist. He drew the taller man close to his chest. Kerwin slowly relaxed his muscles as Frenchie’s body heat seeped into him.

“We gave it our best shot, mon champignon. We can try again tomorrow.”

Kerwin stared ahead, eyes growing heavy. The words were almost as soothing as Frenchie’s heartbeat under his ear. He had a feeling they were about more than just the thermostat.

“Yeah… tomorrow.”

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Friends.

Part1 Part2 Part3 Part4 Current Part6

“I have no clue,” he confessed. “One minute we were walking in total silence and then there was this robbery. I sorta helped?”

Annie raised an unimpressed brow, “Sorta?”

Kerwin shrugged, “I fucked up their tires with a bunch of slime molds.”

“And this?” she snatched his strawberry shake. Kerwin suddenly felt like a child getting scolded for sneaking a cookie.

“He.. asked to get shakes after the press was done talking to us…”

“And you agreed?” Annie shouted before realizing that she really shouldn’t be so loud. Her voice lowered into a hiss, “Why would you go anywhere with Homelander?”

“Well, I’m supposed to gather intel. And he seemed to like me–”

“Idiot. That’s what he does. Just.. ugh. Be more careful next time.”

Kerwin nodded as he blushed bashfully. He hadn’t felt this stupid since he was holed up in the bathroom cleaning The Deep’s cum off his costume. He almost mumbled out a ‘goodnight’ to Annie but he got the feeling she wasn’t as interested in pleasantries as this morning. Kerwin wandered through the labyrinthine hallways, half-heartedly sipping on his shake. He considered trashing it after Annie’s outburst, but he was paranoid about Homelander finding out.

“You’re still up?”

Speak of the Devil and He shall appear.

“Ah!” Kerwin jumped. Homelander was at his side in seconds, his breath fanning against Kerwin’s shoulder. One flash of those canines and the intent was clear. Kerwin was the rabbit, Homelander the fox.

“Apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Yes he did. “You just seemed so lost.” 

Kerwin’s eyes scanned the sterile halls for an exit. “Yeah, I think my room’s at the end, though. You didn’t have to–”

“Sure I did,” Homelander quipped. “We’re friends now, Deathbloom. Friends check on each other.”

“Friends..” Kerwin said in a small voice. That was a concept that always seemed to elude Kerwin. It was hard to make friends when fungus could grow out of your cracking skin and your height made you look like a discount Slenderman. For the majority of his formative years he’d considered Hughie to be his friend, but then came graduation. It’s not that he held a grudge or anything, graduating high school pulled a lot of people apart.

He just never thought it would pull them apart.

“You,” Kerwin pointed at Homelander, America’s poster boy, then back at himself, “want to be friends with me?”

Homelander’s eye twitched. “That’s what I said.”

Kerwin’s cherry blossom eyes shifted suspiciously. Annie’s warning rang through his head, and Butcher’s constant griping about the supe joined in. But something told Kerwin this wasn’t a choice but an order. And maybe… some part of him wanted a friend. Even if it was Homelander.

“Alright,” he nodded slightly. “See you tomorrow then, uh.. friend.”

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