#dear google

I’ve had a phobia of sharks and the ocean since a very young age, and it’s gotten better over the years. But it’s very inconsistent and unpredictable. A couple days ago I was easily startled by an image of a shark in a thumbnail and I had to remove it from my recommendations, and the thought of them was freaking me out. Today, however, I deliberately watched a documentary on them and tolerated it fine.

I do not have children nor do I want to have children. STOP SPAMMING ME WITH BABY ADS! Just because I'm a female between the age 20 and 30 does not mean all I can focus on is having as many babies as possible! I am an introverted shy asexual way too anxious to function without my emotional support kitty cat. Fuck off with the baby shit.

Also...

Fuck off with the makeup shit too. I am not a makeup/beauty product person. All I need is soap, shampoo, and deodorant. I dont need fancy makeup costing way too much money that does shit nothing.

A tumble and tangle of limbs in the dark, his hand in my hair, hers soothing my arm. We were singing earlier; she was strumming the ukulele, her voice soft, his gentle, and mine smooth. I’ve never liked the way I sounded but with them, it fits right in.

There are stars above us, bright and infinite, and we are warm and away from the world. This is a moment granted to me, a memory, outside of space and time.

He starts playing with my hand, my fingers; it’s always been the hands. It’s easy to see why I loved them both, these two brilliant creators and inventors. (I’m ticklish, I tell him, half-scooting off the bed.) She crowns me with a kiss—what do we talk about? He’s sad, quiet; I am too. But we’re all also overwhelmingly in love.

It is a good hug. I wish I never have to let go, and they both kiss my cheek, my temple.

Be well, I say, be healthy, be happy.