#dear connor

Oh my goodness! Zona!! This is so good!!!! 💙

‘kay, hear me out, I ship this...

It’s been forever! I just wanted to wish you a happy belated birthday (missed it by a couple hours) and say that I’m hoping to get back to running these eventually. I adore you lots, and I hope that wherever you are in life in terms of family/friends/relationships, you’re happy and healthy and safe and comfortable. You deserve that much.

I’m reading A Work In Progress (haven’t been caught up, so stressed lately), by the way, and I’m loving it so far. I’m so nostalgic--did you know you’re the first person I ever watched on YouTube? Crazy, right? It’s been amazing to see you come this far. 

Best of luck, and hopefully talk to you more soon. Have a wonderful night/day, and take care.

With love,

It's been awhile, happy holidays!

How are you? I've been busy, truth be told, so this letter will be short (I'm so so sorry). MORE college apps! (Got a scholarship to Minnesota though!) Last minute apps are going in this week, but after that I'm a second-semester senior and can hopefully write more.

Truthfully, I was hoping this account would be different. I was hoping some people would send in letters and I wouldn't be the only one writing... but that's okay. It's still cool to talk to you (sort of) and have a friendship, one-sided or not.

So, what are you up to for New Years? Any plans? Just got a notification about your latest video being updated... maybe I'll find out the answer to that soon, haha. 

So, random story time: I was on omegle for the first time last night, and it was bizarre as heck. Lots of creepy people just trying to pick up dates. I talked to the same boy three times and didn't figure it out til a couple minutes into conversation. I also ended up talking to a 54 year old Spanish man who taught me some Spanish and enhanced my knowledge of classical music, and helped an Indian man in his 20's work on resolving family issues.

That was not at all what I expected. The internet is a strange place.

Hmm... what else to say? Oh, I got a couple of shirts that remind me of you, haha (that sounds much creepier than intended). I was just wearing them around the house and looked in a mirror and I looked like a midwestern hipster (hope that's not offensive) and laughed. 

Anyways, I'd love to chat with you more on music and other stuff I'm into right now, but I have to finish another essay soon or my parents'll kill me, haha.

Take care, Connor!

With love,

Dear Connor,

December 8, 2014. You came out today. 

And I want you to know that I'm so, so proud of you.

I admire that you gathered up the courage to tell all of your fans, your three and a half (or is it more, now?) million subscribers and share a part of yourself that is vulnerable, and afraid. But I'm also extremely proud that you took your time. You didn't let anyone, any haters or simply curious fans pressure you into coming out before you were fully accepting of yourself, which is important too. I'm glad that you're comfortable in your own skin, and that you don't have to hide anymore. I hope I speak for the rest of your fans as well when I say this won't change anything. You are still one of my absolute favorite YouTubers, not to mention just one of my favorite people in general, and I hope you're getting the support you deserve. I know your family is very kind and supportive and I hope friends like Tyler and Troye that have gone through similar processes have been helpful as well. If you need people today, or in the near future, I'm sure you'll have people there, and you'll have me as well, even if you don't really know me.

Honestly, I just want to say that I know today is scary for you, Connor. I know today is full of anticipation and nerves, but in a perfect world, it shouldn't be. It should be a great day for you, maybe even a celebration, and I hope that in some ways it is. You finally get to be you, no more hiding, and that's pretty amazing. Congratulations, Connor. 

With love,

Wow, okay, it's been way too long. A full month since the last letter?

Sorry about that. I've been doing stupid college apps and I'm super behind, but I'm taking a break right now and so yay--time to write my letters! I haven't written to any of you boys lately, so I hope you're all doing well. If I'm correct, you were/are in Perth? That sounds fun. Visiting Troye, eh? Just curious, are you and Troye aware of how big of a ship Tronnor is? It's kinda scary, actually. I didn't think anything could challenge the Troyler fans but Tronnor seems to be on a roll. To be honest, I'm just glad to see you out and about, happy with friends. It's good to see people you like happy.

While we're on the topic of ships, I wanna mention Cethany--I don't know if it's real or if it ever will be, and by no means do I want to pressure you or make you feel like the fans are pressuring you--but I do want to say you two are pretty darn cute. Friends or best friends or something more, all the pictures of you and Bethany are downright adorable. 

Anyways, how have you been? I imagine vacations with friends to Australia can't be too bad, haha. After meeting you at InTOUR I kinda realized how selfish I was. I was way too shy to wish you a happy birthday or say anything at all, really, and I should've treated you with a much more friendly, outgoing attitude. I'm naturally introverted, I can't help it. I was slightly better at VidCon, but I just get a little too easily overwhelmed when there's crowds of other fans in the room. So anyways, sorry about me. 

Take care, Connor. Hope to write again soon!

With love,