#deanial

Dean grits his teeth in a fit of inexplicable rage. He feels irritated on behalf of his friend, of course. Poor dude has no idea he’s being flirted with. That lady’s taking advantage of a clueless angel, basically!

Next to him, Sam bumps him with an elbow, grinning. “Hey, if they became a thing, their ship name could be ‘Chica’.”

“Shut up, Sam!” Dean bites back.

Taken aback, Sam holds up a hand. “Touchy, touchy,” he says. “What got your panties in a twist?”

“Maybe I just got enough of your ugly mug.”

“Okay,” Sam says, not at all put out by Dean’s testy comment, seeming more amused instead. “So which one of ‘em are you jealous of?” 

Feeling like he needs to block an attack without a clue as to how, Dean whips around. “What?”

But Sam just brushes past him, following Cas and Chiyo at a respectable distance. “Oh, nothing.”

Before the next intersection, they’ve reached Chiyo’s apartment. “That’s it,” she announces, playing with her keys and flashing nervous glances the brothers’ way. “I live on the third floor.”

Okay, Dean thinks. So this is goodbye. Finally.

But Chiyo has other ideas. “Do you want to maybe… come upstairs with me? I have coffee,” she suggest hopefully, looking at Cas and only Cas and wow rude, Dean thinks. What are Sam and him, chopped liver? 

He opens his mouth to say exactly that but Sam puts a hand on his shoulder, swivels him around with force. “We better go, give them some alone time,” he whispers significantly before raising his voice so Cas and Chiyo can hear. “We’re hitting the road, bye Chiyo. Seeya later, Cas.”

And before Dean can gather his wits enough to react, Sam’s urging him further along the road towards where they parked Baby. 

Each step away from them feels like a stab through the heart, and Dean should know what that feels like. 

“Hey, I know I gave you shit about this earlier, but if you wanna talk,” Sam says softly. “You know…”

Dean doesn’t look up from the road. He doesn’t know if he could cover up the frown on his face with a suitable mask right now. Truth is, his denial techniques only reach so far. Deep down, he’s knows his feelings for Cas span farther than the Milky Way and are more complex than some part of him wishes they were. 

Because it’s hard, being who he is and loving someone like Castiel. 

Castiel, who seems so close yet so out of reach sometimes. 

It seemed so easy for Chiyo, to pull Cas into her orbit. Maybe someone like her is just what Cas needs. Someone far away from the hunting life, someone less complicated. Someone who doesn’t trip over his own feet as much when it comes to talking feelings. 

Maybe she could be good for Cas.

He won’t pretend to like it, though.

So he takes up Sam’s offer, the only way he knows how. “‘I got coffee upstairs’,” he scoffs. “How cheap was that?”

“Very cheap,” agrees Sam benevolently. “Apple pie?”

Dean sniffs. “Biggest we can find.”

***

Cas flaps into their motel room not longer than half an hour later. After Sam and Dean drove by a bakery to buy the biggest apple pie they have, Sam’s gone out to commune with nature or whatever he’s doing when he wants to give Dean some space. So it’s just Dean here to greet the angel, hunched over the sink to eat his piece of pie without dropping crumbs all over.

“She did not have coffee,” Cas reports, skipping the hello. 

“Huh,” is all Dean can get out, fork freezing halfway to his mouth. 

Cas steps further into the motel room. “Apparently that was a ploy to get me into her apartment.”

“Oh?”

“She kissed me.”

Dean says nothing. He wouldn’t know what without sounding like an asshole. His throat’s suddenly tight and his eyes sting annoyingly.

“I told her, very politely, that I was not interested,” says Cas. 

Dean drops his fork into the sink. “Why?” 

"I don't…," Cas starts. "I wasn't interested."

"You said that," Dean says dryly. "Why not? She's pretty, seemed sharp and funny too and she was obviously into you." He doesn't know why he argues the point when every word is like a nail in his own coffin.

But Cas shakes his head, a little sadly. "It wouldn't be honest."

Dean chews his lower lip, mind racing. "You have pretty high standards, huh."

"The highest," Cas squints at him. "He'd have to be quite a Righteous Man, in fact."

Dean breathes in.

And he breathes out.

"Well, shit, Cas."

Cas' gaze drops to the floor. "It is quite unfortunate a situation…"

"Unfortunate how?"

"Because he doesn't-"

"...Admit he loves you back."

Cas frowns because that clearly wasn’t what he was gonna say but it’s quickly chased away by the small smile that replaces his confusion. "Apparently," he says softly, still a little uncertain. 

"Well, he's an idiot, Cas." 

"It's a very endearing part of his personality. If trying, at times."

Dean shrugs, a grin of his own fighting for control of his features. "As long as you're into it." 

And then he does the bravest thing he ever did.

He pulls Cas into their very first kiss.