#dean-coded

They say, “blood is thicker than water”

as if it justifies unconditional love

on the basis of blood alone

turning a loving blind eye to transgressions

pardoning

placating

participating in the perpetuation of the problem

because we want to trust

believing in the wisdom of the words

that Family is worthy of that unconditional love

and all the sacrifices it requires.

They say, “You’ll understand when your older”

as if one day you’ll reach the right vantage point

and be able to see the sense 

in the sacrifices and concessions

instilling the assumption 

that some wisened view will 

impart an understanding

that alleviates the deep-seated dichotomy 

of quieting anger--even if it requires you to silence your own needs

of smothering reason and logic--even if it unravels your mind

of opening up your heart--even if it rends your soul

assuring you that these concessions

are a reasonable price to pay -- fair for them to ask of you

in exchange for the Blessing of Family.

They say, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”

as if there’s no real harm in clinging unquestioningly to old customs

ignoring the terrible truth

that as you age

you will see that your naive trust was betrayed

by the ever-present compulsion 

encoded into your spirit, leading you 

to love unconditionally

to overlook atrocities

to give of Oneself for the Whole

leaving you blind and blissfully ignorant

unprepared for the moment of realization 

that even as you enjoyed the euphoria 

of the support and protection of Family 

you were also reinforcing your own gilded cage.

They say that love always protects, 

always trusts, 

always hopes, 

always perseveres, 

and never fails” 

that love “rejoices with the truth”

as if the truth isn’t just the heart-wrenching realization

that the Sacred Family, bound by blood

is all too often a blasphemous farce

propagated by desperate, determined survivors

who would rather keep--and love unconditionally

the Devils they know

than face the nameless void

that might be left within them

if ever they dared to cast out all their Demons. 

They say “no one can love you like family”

as if your soul wasn’t truly created

to be cured of its blindness 

by the breathtaking soul

who pairs so perfectly with your own as you both learn, 

without compulsory or selfish agenda 

to accept, and be accepted

to nurture, and be nurtured 

to guard, and be guarded

cultivating so carefully an unconditional love

flourishing not through some obligatory blindness

but through the enthralling, enrapturing experience