#de-aged!john

Summary: In which Rodney is very much not happy when his boyfriend suddenly finds himself six years old again, courtesy of those wacky Ancients. I, I'm a new day rising I'm a brand new sky To hang the stars upon tonight I am a little divided Do I stay or run away And leave it all behind?

“Unscheduled off-world activation!”

The sound of the Gate activating tears through the control tower, startling Elizabeth from her office. There’s only one team off-world and they weren’t due back for another day and a half, their next scheduled check in much later that evening.

“Who is it?”

“I’m reading Teyla’s IDC, ma’am,” Chuck says and Elizabeth gestures for him to open up a channel, arms crossed over her chest as she waits for Chuck’s nod.

“Teyla,” she greets, “a little early for your check in. Everything alright?”

There’s a muffled response that sounds suspiciously like Rodney before Teyla speaks, and though her voice is calm, the entire tower can pick up on the slightest bit of concern in her tone. “We have run into a… bit of a problem,” she hesitates and Elizabeth nods for Chuck to lower the shield.

“Is anyone hurt?”

“Not exactly, but perhaps it would be best to explain to you in person.”

“The shield’s down. Come on through.”

“Very well.” Another pause. “Elizabeth… it might be wise if you have Doctor Beckett on standby.”

“We’ll have a medical team brought in immediately.”

“Not a full team,” Teyla warns. “Just Doctor Beckett will suffice.”

There’s another beat, Elizabeth’s head cocking to the side as she considers. “What exactly are we dealing with?”

“If I told you now, you wouldn’t believe me. We are coming through the Gate.”

The radio cuts off and less than a moment later, AR-1 steps through the event horizon, or at least three of them do. Elizabeth comes down the stairs, eyes scanning her people for any sign of illness or injury as she waits for Beckett and for John, but the event horizon closes and something catches in her throat.

“Where’s Colonel Sheppard?”

Teyla and Ronon share a look and for the first time, she notices the lump in Ronon’s arms, covered with a jacket.

“In case you’ve missed the memo,” Rodney snaps, gesturing broadly to Ronon, “this entire fucking galaxy is littered with stupid machines courtesy of those wacky Ancients that have horrible, no good, completely asinine purposes and so here we are.”

“Rodney,” Teyla admonishes gently.

They’re all saved a response with Carson arrives, looking a bit confused and Elizabeth can sympathize, because she still has no idea what’s going on. “I’ll ask again,” she says, keeping her voice even, “where is Colonel Sheppard?”

Rodney moves as if to pull the jacket from Ronon’s arms, but Teyla stops him with a hand to his chest and very carefully, gently, she pulls it back to reveal a small child with a crop of dark, unruly hair. He’s asleep (or unconscious, likely, given how the commotion has not woken him), long lashes brushing against pale cheeks. “Bloody hell!”

“Is that--?”

“Colonel Sheppard, yes,” Teyla finishes, tucking the jacket around the tiny body again, hiding him from view. “I am certain that the Colonel would appreciate it if we could move our discussion from the gate room.” She settles a hand on Ronon’s shoulder as Carson steps forward as if to get another, closer look at the boy, but he must see something on Ronon’s face that stops him short.

“Right. Er… c’mon then, bring the lad this way. We’ll get him to the infirmary, under some scans and find out exactly what we’re dealin’ with.”

“What we’re dealing with is another example of how it’s not actually the Wraith that are the bad guys in this narrative, but the Ancients,” Rodney says scathingly and while the team sets off for the infirmary, he starts in the opposite direction, intent on locking himself in his lab until all of this blows over.

Or at least intent on scouring the database to figure out what he needs to piece that god damned machine back together after Ronon blasted it into six million pieces.

Easy.