#de:code:janeval

                ⌈  ☾ de:code eval –– ... song recordings  ⌋

gorilla is... a song. the first time he’d heard it, he wasn’t quite sure exactly what to feel. it wasn’t exactly the kind of song he though he’d see himself replaying, but the more he’d listened to it (since well, he didn’t have a choice but to constantly replay it), the more he’d grown some affection for it. it’s not exactly the kind of song you’d belt out, but it’s got an addictive rhythm to it.

it’s when they’re introduced to the b-sides does jaehyun truly feel his affection grow, proud to call their soon to be mini album his. 

entering the recording room, he can’t help but feel a little small. they’ll be using his voice for the public to hear, they’ll have songs with his name on it. he gets behind the microphone and fiddles with the headphones before putting it on. alright, he thinks, recording. he’s got the lyric sheet in hand, scribbled with notes in handwriting that only jaehyun could understand. sure, he doesn’t have a lot of lines, and sure, he’d already expected that, but with the few lines that he does have, he’d wanted to do well. a part of jaehyun had always been that of a perfectionist, even since he was in school, his parents had raised him to do everything up till perfection. he wouldn’t call himself a hardworker -- merely a product of his parents incessant need to have a son to boast about. an idol son probably wasn’t what they’d want to boast about.

jaehyun gulps down on his drink.

@rkmg !!

it isn’t long until they’re back in comfortable territory for won. the dance studio is quiet with only the two of them in it, but to be learning choreography again makes won feel at home. getting to do so with his boyfriend is the icing on the cake, though, because mingyu looks so darn cute when he’s concentrating. ( though that’s also a curse, because won wishes he could kiss him every time but they have to wait. his patience is selective and certainly doesn’t apply to this. ) 

they said they were close now ... but how close is close?

this thought is what plagues him, because hongjoong still can’t be sure whether or not he wants this  -  has thought more times in the past few months that he doesn’t rather than that he does.  perhaps he should take his own hints, or maybe he’s just not letting himself enjoy this debut for what it is.  his lifelong dream, finally coming true.  he’s a little more set on trying to enjoy himself this month, trying to swallow the desperate anxiety and the restless despair that creep up in his throat when he thinks about what will happen soon.

it’s easy to cover his worries when he’s with kangjoon.  and if he’s trying to enjoy this month more than any of the previous months he’s spent as a future member of de:code, practicing with him is probably the best thing that he can think of to do.  (  hongjoong will remember though, not to bring up the line distribution.  )

“ hey, hyung.  wanna go over my lines with me? it’s almost my birthday, after all ~~~ let’s have fun today, okay?”

@rklino

whenever he practices with minho there’s a sense of fatigue sitting in his limbs that he doesn’t get when he trains his dancing with any of the other members. an exhaustion that runs deeper than usual but it’s one baekhyun enjoys -- it means he trained well. that he practiced a lot and pushed himself to new limits and he can do that best with minho. 

it means that baekhyun needs a few more breaks than usual as well, though.

@rkbyunbaek

he was a little bitter about the lack of lines in their debut song, though he supposed it couldn't be helped, if there were not many lines to begin win. at the end every member had to get their share one way or another. there was no time to be greedy, when the coaches assured them to have their best performance in mind. their reveal was laying ahead, and the debut song would be of most importance to impact the industry. they wanted to leave a strong impression, a trace in a world that was overflowing with idols, so their performance as a whole, as a team was what had to be focused on at the moment.

but still, since he had been assigned as lead vocal, he had had somehow hoped for more lines. after the month of drilling himself to meet the coaches expectations, kang joon had thought he would be able to show off his singing he was more or less confident in. but it's nothing to be bitter about, especially when it was them as a team that would be debut so soon. he still couldn't help to be a bit nervous about his current standing within the group. as long as they didn't signed the idol contract yet, kang joon couldn't be too sure if there would be a last minute change in their line up.

〈♦〉JANUARY 24TH, 2020 → de:code evaluations. recording.                      ↳ stay with me, beautiful, & look at me and smile.

tw: homophobia (?), anxiety truthfully speaking, mingyu was extremely excited to record all of their songs. he was still slightly shaken because doing so meant that they were a step closer to debut, which causes amalgamation to ensue as he feels about a hundred things at once regarding this. he’s nervous, but that mixes with excitement, which mixes with happiness and fear and everything you would expect from a boy that has lived his life as a normal person and was about to be thrust into the spotlight and public eye. being homosexual definitely didn’t make that any easier for him. he wanted to be himself, but he couldn’t entirely be himself and it was just... way too much going on in his brain for him to focus on.

he fiddles with his sleeve as he waits patiently for his cue to start. he watches the coaches behind the glass, eyes trailing between them and the rest of the members waiting for their turn. his teeth worry his lower lip, and he straightens up when he makes eye contact with the coach. the voice over the intercom tells him to go-- so when the music starts, minho takes in a deep breath and lets go.

@rkwon

they’re all waiting for their turn to record, some practicing their lines for one last time before they have to be performed flawlessly in the studio -- the others are at least, because he and kangjoon already had their turns, hongjoong and minho currently in the studio doing their parts, singing their lines. they were instructed to resume with training once they’re back but baekhyun prefers helping the others out while he can, when they need it or feel unsure, nervous. prefers to listen to the overlapping voices singing not quite in harmony.

it makes him smile, somehow likes the moments where he gets to watch the other members work hard the best. ( that, and seeing them getting their well-deserved rest after a hard day. )