* 靑春時代

to be honest, i didn’t think i’d ever have to write this post. at least, not for a while. or that when i left, it’d be before rk closed. that being said, it’s been an amazing journey. i first joined rk when i was 15 with a yixing fc, and went on to fc him up until i was 17, before i decided to take a short break from rp to focus on ib. 

then i brought in jaehyun at 18 and i haven’t regretted it since. he’s my longest muse and one that i cherish. four years is a pretty long time to have a muse, and 7 (almost) years is a long time to be in an rp. i’m now 22, have finished ib, graduated university and gotten my first job. it’s not far fetched to say that i grew up with rk by my side. heck, rk’s been more constant in my life than some of the people i knew!

my feelings are definitely mixed. on one hand, i’ll miss this place insanely, and on another, i know how hard it must’ve been to run an rp that’s such a huge scale. a part of me once questioned how i’d ever leave rk, how i’d choose to focus on other things. but rping here gave me happiness, and that was enough reason for me to stay. 

i feel that me writing this almost half a week after the rp has closed, shows just how busy i’ve become, but i felt as though i had to write something, at least for my sake and for some closure.

thanks to rk, i’ve met so many wonderful people. people that have become irreplaceable in my life. i’ve learnt many things from them, things that i’m not sure i would’ve been able to learn elsewhere. i loved scrolling through the dash and looking at what other muses were posting, or scrolling through twitter and seeing people talk about their muses. and i’ve been able to experience many different things thanks to rk. the fun in plotting, the excitement when reading a new post (mgas, schedules, etc) and many other things. i’m thankful for that.

as for my muses, their stories don’t end here!

jaehyunrk: he would’ve gone on to walk that actor-idol path! gotten roles like hyungsik, and would’ve had a ‘prince’ like image! he and @rkyeri would’ve gone public and gotten the public’s love! 

haknyeonrk: as for haknyeon, he would’ve become the nation’s little brother! you’d find him on variety shows and he’d done a lot of cfs! in all honesty, he was my favourite muse, perhaps of all time. his kindness and his optimistic outlook on life, was something that i wish i had, and something that i worked towards. it would be nice, to one day become a haknyeonrk –– and to love every moment you’re in and be thankful for all that you have. to be selfless and kind, and to work for your dreams.

rksbin: he’d never gotten the chance to become a trainee, and watched his best and girlfriend get signed. instead of walking the idol route, soobin would’ve become a model and actor. still would’ve been on tik tok posting a lot of random things. he’d then star in a show with @mxnark and one day, propose to her.

rkseonho​:  

@jaehyunrk

it’s break time. 

break time and the perfect time for seonho to mess around with some of his hyungs and he just so happens to already have his eyes set on one of his hyungs. the teen had seen jaehyun standing in front of where their fans were seated seeming to be talking to them or something. it was the perfect chance. the teen started his approach, holding his finger to his mouth to signal to the fans not to let the older know what was happening. luckily none of the other idols around them were watching them as he was sure someone would ruin it.

a grin forms across his face and without a moment of hesitation he latches onto jaehyun in a tight back hug. “HI HYUNG!!!” calling out loudly to startle him, and then letting go as fast as he grabbed on so he could run away. he could hear de:code fans laughing and cheering behind him though he couldn’t really make out what they were cheering for. it could have been for seonho’s silly game and it could have been jaehyun chasing him–as he assumed he was about to be ATTACKED. time for defensive maneuvers. 

jaehyun had honestly been looking forward to this; he’s always been competitive, perhaps a little bit too much for his own good. that and the added fact that he could interact with the fans, which was of course, always a bonus.

he’d walked towards them and began doing what he thought was fanservice. a few poses here, and mouthing a few questions like ‘how are you?’ ‘are you having fun?’ –– and he’s about to ask more questions when he feels someone practically jump at him. it doesn’t take him long to figure out who it is, because who else would do that but seonho?

@rkrxcky

being an idol meant many things. amongst the loud cheering, performances and hours of training, there came the opportunity for jaehyun to meet new people in the industry. truth be told, when he’d gotten to know yuchan, he wondered why they hadn’t been friends sooner; they seemed to click pretty well, and jaehyun quite enjoyed having someone like him to talk to. they probably aren’t a pair that fans would’ve thought would end up being such great friends, but they are, and jaehyun appreciates that.

he’s called yuchan out for dinner after he’s done with his promotions, sort of as a way to unwind and celebrate not having to perform can you feel it on another music show. they go to a simple eatery, and momentarily jaehyun wonders if anyone recognizes them when he catches a few glances their way. they’re either looking over because they know who they are, or because two good looking men are hanging out. 

                                  –– weekly idol

a variety show. like an actual one, on television, broadcasted to the world ( and also pretty popular on youtube ). jaehyun’s aware that he isn’t the most talkative or funniest guy out there. if anything he’s straight forward and enjoys a normal conversation. despite already having debuted for a while, variety shows still felt like something he could never quite get used to. the cameras were different from the ones used in cfs and when they were filming music videos, writers and pds seated in front of them.

they aren’t the only guest, paired with another girl group for this episode. the cameras begin rolling and jaehyun takes his position, smiling as the mcs begin to talk. small talk is made and they go onto introductions.

“i’m de:code’s prince, sinjae,” he smiles, waving to the camera. the mcs do a little gasp ( in their own over reactive ) manner and clap. 

“he really does look like a prince!”

“it says here that you were also student body president in highschool? are you a cgi? you’re actually kidding right?”

jaehyun laughs politely and shakes his head. “yes, i was elected student body president back then. i’m sure i just got lucky,” he humbly replies, laughing abashedly. 

“eey, that’s what someone who worked hard would say!” the mc says. 

“ah, then should i be more blunt?” he adds jokingly, “i was the student body president because i studied really hard! and i’m a little good looking too,” he laughs, but his ears immediately turn red, and he turns to baekhyun to hide his face in the crook of the leader’s neck. 

filming continues and jaehyun tries his hardest to be active. he laughs when he must, and attempts to show as many reactions as possible. despite not being as familiar to variety shows as he’d liked, he tries to act as naturally as possible, going with the flow of things. 

rkserim​:   

he’s got one thing on his mind and one thing only. “what the fuck is a sinjae?” serim spits out with furrowed brows. man, if these are the kinds of people that royal lets debut as idols then damn, serim must be a shoo in. 

“oh, you’re from… de:code, was it? i honestly never would’ve guessed considering you look really average and plain. huh, royal’s standards aren’t high enough, i suppose.”

now this idol guy keeps spewing nonsense about him being a staff member and honestly, serim wouldn’t be offended about being called a staff member. after all, working for a company with people like this sinjae dude, he gives props to that. but it’s the fact that he would never lift a finger. he barely wants to lift a finger during dance practice. 

“yeah, i’ll pass your stuff along. pass it right into the trash can.”

jaehyun’s met a lot of people in this industry –– and by a lot; he means well, a lot of different types of idol and staff personalities. but never did he think he’d meet someone like this. he turns to the boy and his eyes are wide open. what the fuck? 

“a sinjae is your senior, asshole,” he spits, and for a moment he loses his cool. jaehyun had always told himself to remain calm in all situations, that was the most important part of being an idol after all. but with punks like the boy in front of him, it’s a tough act to keep up. “i’ll have you know that you’re looking at the ambassador of the face shop. something you can only ever dream of doing looking like,” he gives the boy a once over, “something the cat dragged in after mauling it for hours.” 

rkseonho​:  

@jaehyunrk weekly idol recording 

variety shows are something seonho has a great deal of interest in. 

even back during the trainee days, he always wanted to be allowed to go on one–either as a guest or an mc because both sounded fun. he had always loved the idea of variety–the chaotic nature, the jokes, the puns, the chance to show a different side of himself. it’s why he has spent so much time working on his magic tricks. as he knew if they ever ended up on a variety show then he would need to show off a skill–rookies especially who have some cool special skill tend to get more screen time. and now he can say with confidence he would be able to show off a really cool set of magic tricks. 

and now here they are in the waiting room of a variety show. one that he has watched a good number of episodes from, so he knows kind of what to expect. though he also knows that there isn’t much to expect from this one in general only because they seem to go off randomly a lot. it was keep him excited. 

the teen bouncing in place as he tries to not get in any ones way but it’s so hard to contain himself. and it doesn’t take too long before seonho is latching onto jaehyun. the older male having appeared in the corner of his eye and thus became the focus of seonho’s energy. “hyung hyung hyung–” he starts in rapid fire. “this is going to be fun, right? do you think they’ll want us show off talents? or maybe we’ll do a bunch of games.” 

jaehyun is a man who knows his strengths and weaknesses. he’s definitely no variety genius, just does his best when told and is a lot more comfortable when he’s made to pose in front of a camera than he is if made to act spontaneously. still, a large part of an idol’s job is variety and jaehyun understands that, quite honestly, he enjoys it too.

he sits in their waiting room, scrolling through his fansites on his secret twitter account when seonho begins to speak to him. by now he’s used to the younger boy’s antics, what would seem to be hard to pick up on by strangers, is something that jaehyun’s grown accustomed to. instinctively, he pats seonho’s head, though not enough to ruin his hairstyle –– he doesn’t want to get a scolding from the stylist after all.

“i’m sure it’ll be,” he smiles. “lots of idols seem to really like this show. and the episodes are always funny,” this is what he can remember after having watched a few episodes himself. mostly to study how other idols acted and in what manner he should react. “if you’ve got something you want to show off, then i’ll divert their attention to you so you can show them,” he adds reassuringly. “i just hope they don’t make us do anything too straining. i’m getting old you know,” he jokes, playfully patting his own back.

( ✉ ➝ 남친 💕 ) › so they told us today that joohyun is going to film a cute mv for a senior › and jennie gets a photoshoot › and ahyoung is going to be a brand ambassador › but guess what i’m doing › THEY’RE SENDING ME TO THE JUNGLE › WTF!!!!!!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡 › WHAT IF I DIE THERE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 › they said, and i QUOTE › “you will have to find food, prepare meals, and build shelter” › ARE THEY SERIOUS 😡😡 › if i don’t come back……this is my will u can have all my stuff › except for my polaroid camera can u give that to joy

rkkangjoon​:  

@jaehyunrk

while washing the rice, he hummed a song he couldn’t get out of his head these days. it was perfect for the summer season and boosted his good mood. swaying a little to the rhythm, he imitated the dance moves, while carrying the tray of rice over to the rice cooker. as soon as he had put everything down safely, he jumped and turned on his own axis, stretching his hand away from him to point at jaehyun who had unexpectantly come into the kitchen. maybe to get himself something to drink. 

smirking at the younger male, he picked up a bottle of cooking oil and used it as substitute microphone to serenade his member with an over the top pitched high note. with a snort, he put the bottle back down and looked over to jaehyun. “hey, too bad they didn’t performed during the summer festival, hm? i really love the retro style. would be awesome if we could go with such an concept some day. what do you think?”

kang joon proceeded to prepare the food for his members, knowing that they were probably waiting hungrily, while he was fooling around, singing.

due to the fact that jaehyun truly does care for his members, he’s taken it upon himself not to cook for them. for their own sake, of course. though he does make appearances in the kitchen to bother his members when they’re busy and he’s bored, and he finds himself in the mood for some companionship. now is one of those times as he steps out of his room, walking towards the kitchen where he spots kangjoon dancing? 

before he can ask the older member what exactly is going on, kangjoon’s screaming –– singing –– with the bottle of cooking oil as a makeshift mic. it takes him a moment to realize what song his friend is singing, and he breaks out into a laugh. “i would’ve loved to see them perform. they’d probably actually make me cry,” he jokes, watching as kangjoon prepared the food. 

rklino​:   

he wants to throw the blanket over his head, cover himself up and the tears that have begun to build in his eyes. but he doesn’t want to unwind his arms from inside the fabric, so he stays with his head downcast, lower lip trembling before he bites it harshly. he feels conflicted, torn between just letting go or continuing to keep it all bottled up; minho’s prideful, has a lot of emotions locked up in a small body that can’t really handle it all. with a fragile heart and a messy head.

he flinches when jaehyun sits next to him, but doesn’t try to move away. he keeps his stare down, firmly on the pattern of the blanket. he swallows, the action difficult– his throat is dry, and it’s tightening by the minute. the hand on his back has him taking a shuddering breath…and then he cries.

when he was a kid, he cried a lot. but he’s never been loud, never been the type to throw a fit. if anything, it’s the quiet, shaking shoulders and occasional choked breath that leaves him as he lets himself cry. his body leans just slightly into jaehyun’s space– as if seeking some sort of comfort, but unwilling or unable to properly ask for it outright.

he cries for a few minutes, and after managing to get through the bulk of it, he’s still sniffling– eyes red and nose red and everything is red on his face, sticky with tears. he takes another breath, and sits there silently. after a moment, he speaks up– voice quiet, choked up. “m'sorry. i…my grams isn’t doin’ too good.” the words slip out of him, his daegu accent slurred into the words as he hiccups. minho ducks his head more and pulling his legs further into his space, even though it’s strained due to being trapped under the blanket.

“m'scared.” he manages to choke out.

he feels his heart break as his member speaks, the attachment he’d grown for the other boy was large –– after all he’d seen how hard he’d worked and they practically lived together. it would’ve been impossible for jaehyun not to have his own heart breaking when he saw minho with his.

“don’t apologize,” he says, voice soft as he gently pats minho’s head. he slides closer to the older boy and wraps his arm around him, staying silent for a minute. jaehyun’s never been the best at words, but he realizes then that perhaps words weren’t exactly what minho needed. what he needed was comfort, a reminder that there were people there for him. he turns to look at minho and attempts to offer him a comforting smile. 

“i’m really sorry to hear that minho...” he says, his voice still soft. “if there’s anything i can do to help... or to make you feel better, please let me know.” though jaehyun’s not too sure what exactly he can do –– but he’ll try regardless, especially if it means easing minho’s worries. 

                                   –– album recording

it’s not really a secret that jaehyun’s music taste wouldn’t exactly align with idol music –– though there were a few stand out songs here and there that he quite enjoyed. but anyone that knew jaehyun, basically knew that his music taste was vastly different than what was currently being put out by... his group.

gorilla had honestly been a little hard for him; not because of the choreography ( though that in itself was a different story ), but because of the concept and the music. but he understood that they were a group, and that they’d have to release music that was given to them. amongst all their releases, what time is it now had been the closest to something he could proudly call his song. 

they were presented with can you feel it for their comeback song and jaehyun, despite attempting to keep up an optimistic outlook on things, hated what was being put out. yet, he understood that he had no power to choose what was to be released. and that even being able to debut, and now stand on stage was a gift. 

@rkseonho

the last time jaehyun had gone to a party was well, years ago. between training, debuting and attempting to get good grades in school, his schedule wasn’t exactly ideal enough to fit in partying. it does come to him as a little bit of a surprise though when samsung announced a party –– though of course, without much of the party aspects (alcohol, flirting, etc). not that it bothers jaehyun much; he’d never been much of a party go-er. still, he decides to attend it after he’s done some training, it’d be a nice way to catch up with everyone, especially other debuted idols and trainees.

yet, as he stands by the idol area, drink in one hand ... there’s a sort of sense that begins to tingle. he’s not too sure what to call this, but he knows for sure it’s his seonho senses. it’s been years since he’s met seonho, and years since the both of them have decided that they were brothers. it’s his seonho senses. his seonho senses are tingling.

jungjaes 무슨 #? the face shop 

rkserim​:  

starter for @jaehyunrk

honestly, serim can’t say he’s ever found himself in a situation where this happened. he wasn’t even wearing decent enough clothes to be confused with one of the actual workers at the company. then again, he’s not surprised with this turn out either considering what he did say. normal people don’t just blurt out ‘wow, royal really lets anybody become an idol, huh?’ upon his interaction with shin-sin-something of de:code or whatever the guy’s name was. 

“excuse you, but do i look like i’m an intern here? i’m serim.” as if his own name alone was enough to justify his actions. they weren’t but now serim’s turning on his full brat mode and he never backs down like this. his eyes are narrowed at the other as he attempts some sort of stare down in one of royal practice rooms. 

it might be due to the fact that he’d been busy practicing for their various special stages and mulling over the fact that their comeback song was an absolute disaster, but despite being physically there, jaehyun feels as though he’s everywhere. he’s headed to his locker to grab a spare tshirt, with a bag full of the face shop products when he spots what he thinks is an intern. ah, this would make things easier.

“hi,” he says, stopping the boy, “you’re an intern right? i’m really sorry, but could you pass this to my manager? tell him it’s from sinjae and to just drop it off at the de:code dorm or leave it in the car, whichever is easiest for him,” he’s about to walk away when he catches on the what the supposed intern says. he stops in his tracks, furrows his brows and turns around. how rude.