#dbprp

Eli had originally intended to approach Clare before second period, when he noticed her switching out some of her books at her locker. It would have been easy enough then, very few people around and an ideal chance to ask her to skip class for just a short while to hear him out. After that, she would have made the decision to either tune him out of her life for good, or understand his perspective. Eli wasn't expecting or feeling especially deserving of the latter, but he couldn't help hoping for it. The past two weeks had been pure hell, having to dodge all of Clare's attempts to strike up conversation. In the back of his mind, he'd have the nagging thought that he'd been too hasty in withdrawing, and should have taken a moment to explain his reservations to her. But at the forefront, Eli didn't trust himself for a second, and knew that if given the chance, Clare would eventually find better. So he opted not to speak to her in the hall, ducking his head down and making himself scarce for the rest of the day. He'd purchased tickets for the carnival earlier in the week, and even if he wasn't sure exactly what had brought him to the decision, Eli knew that a part of him was hoping to work up enough nerve by the event. It was the kind of outing he would have asked Clare to in a heartbeat, had they been on speaking terms. Once he found himself there, hands stuffed in his pockets to mask the way his hands were shaking, Eli began searching through the throngs of students in search of Clare. Once he spotted her, he nearly lost his nerve but persevered, slowly making his way up to the girl. “Uh, Clare?” he said, waiting for her to turn and face him. “Listen, I know you probably don't want anything to do with me right now, and if you tell me to leave you alone, I swear I will. But...I have a lot I'd like to explain to you, and a million apologies to give.” he said, his voice a bit more rushed than he would have preferred.

Clare gazed around the lot of Degrassi that was now transformed into the epitome of a winter wonderland. She marveled at the different rides, anxious to get on one quickly. With Alli off with Dave for the evening, Clare was left to her own devices. She would have loved to be attending this event with Eli, able to picture the two of them perusing the many attractions. Had the events from two weeks ago not had taken place, Clare would have bet anything that she would have been able to coerce Eli into coming. School events were not his speed, she was well aware, but she did have a certain influence and power over the boy. Back in happier times, she would’ve been able to send a text and actually get a response. But now Eli had gone two whole weeks blatantly ignoring her. It would have been bad enough to have a friend suddenly turn their back on her but it was made worse because of the fact that they had not only admitted to liking each other but shared several kisses. Clare thought back on that night more often than she cared to admit, remembering how it felt to be the center of Eli’s universe. It had been the best night of her life, her issues at home quickly forgotten and replaced with the comfort and ease of being in Eli’s company. The boy had been her antidote, able to cure her of the heaviness that plagued her at home. In Eli she had a crush as well as a good friend, someone she could turn to in a moment of need, no matter the issue. The whole irony of it now was that when Clare needed an ear to listen, Eli was unable to help her seeing as though he was the problem. Clare hated the sting of rejection, left feeling used and strung along. She didn’t want to believe that Eli was capable of such a thing, so sure that she truly knew the boy. But with the way he went about handling the aftermath of that one night, Clare began questioning whether she really knew Eli or not. She wanted answers desperately but every attempt to speak to Eli or get the boy’s attention was met with a roadblock of some kind. With her mittens clad hands in her pockets, Clare stopped short, peering up at the Ferris wheel. Her back was turned to the majority of the crowd, and subsequently Eli as the familiar voice spoke her name. Clare turned around stoically, her body language screaming wariness. “You could start with an apology and then I’d like an explanation, a good reason why you’ve been ignoring me for two whole weeks,” she quipped, her lips pursed.

Eli swallowed down the dry, dreadful feeling resting at the base of his throat, his heart beginning to beat faster as his anxiety crept in. Clare might have been a mild, kind girl, but what Eli feared wasn't her anger, but her disappointment. Knowing that he had let her down and quite possibly broken her heart was what filled Eli with fear. She already had enough stress to deal with, her parents and their frequent fighting causing a strain within their household, and he was only tacking more on to that seemingly ever-growing list. The fact that she spoke to him at all was a start, encouraging him enough to reply after she responded. “I know, I really do. Just-” he stopped short, glancing around. He wanted to get away from the crowds of fellow students, needing to have a little peace and quiet to speak to her. Eli led them over to a nearby bench, seating himself down cautiously and then waiting for her to do the same. He sat hunched forward, rubbing his eyes for a moment before he began. “I am sorry, and I need to elaborate on that before I even get into a more elaborate explanation. I know I gave off this vibe that I didn't care about you after that night. That I only wanted to use you; get you to fall for me and then leave you hanging.” he said, shaking his head at how entirely wrong each of those ideas were. “It wasn't any of that. I would never have shared that night with you, had I not meant it. I don't just fall for people, Clare. It's why I couldn't help myself from getting closer to you. It's rare for me, and you were this unbelievably bright spot in my otherwise dreary existence.” he went on, still keeping his gaze averted to the ground. “But you had every right to believe that I was just some asshole who was stringing you along. Without meaning to, that's what I did. I thought I was doing the right thing but then I'd see you in the halls, and the hurt would be written all over your face and I kept telling myself, 'she deserves better, don't take that away from her.'” he ranted, finally sitting up straight enough to glance over at her. “I want to tell you everything, but I just need to let you know that if it makes it so you never want to see me again, I'll do as you wish and leave you alone. I really need you to know that ahead of time.”

Clare wasn’t sure the reaction she would have when she finally spoke to Eli again. Her emotions ranged heavily over the course of two weeks from sadness to anger to bitterness to hurt. Clare didn’t even know she was capable of feeling so much in a short span of time but her experience with Eli had changed something inside of her. It felt as if history was repeating itself, another year arriving and bringing her a romantic prospect. She didn’t want to lump Eli of all people into the same category as KC but the boy broke her heart. What was worse, on top of it all, was not getting closure. At least with her ex, she’d been able to accept things for what they were and move on, having a clear cut answer as to why it didn’t work out. With Eli, it was one giant question mark that didn’t seem to lighten up. She had always been drawn to the mystery of Eli, curious as to what thoughts ran through his mind and eager to learn more about him. In the months that they’d become friends, she truly felt as if she was gaining access to him that most people never would. He’d even expressed that he found it easier to let his walls down around her. And yet with all of those advantages, Clare was left feeling slighted with Eli opening the door to deepening their connection and slamming it in her face. She couldn’t quite muster up anger now, so sure her eyes were filled with the sadness that had been lingering within her for days on end. She had never felt this let down and devastated before and for it to be at the hands of someone she trusted made it hurt all the more. A part of her actually considered walking away and giving him a taste of what it was like to want to speak to someone and get shut out. But she knew this would be her only chance to get to the bottom of things. Drawing in a breath through her mouth, Clare eyed Eli for a moment as he sauntered over to a nearby bench before following his lead. She chose to sit at the far end, keeping a significant amount of space between them. Though he was looking elsewhere, Clare kept her eyes locked on him, her arms crossed against her stomach as he began. She didn’t say anything to his apology, unsure of if she should even accept it when she still remained clueless as to what had suddenly changed between them. His suspicions had been correct; she indeed did believe all those things and more. She looked him in the eyes once he finally glanced her way, her expression unreadable. “Don’t drag this out any longer, please. Two weeks is long enough to wait for an answer,” she countered. Being stern wasn’t her initial response to things but she had to stand her ground. “Just tell me, Eli. Because I’ve been wondering if it’s worth it to keep this up…I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

Eli was brought up short as Clare cut to the chase, though he couldn't blame her for wanting to get down to what mattered. He could have harped on and on for however long in the hopes of avoiding the truth, but it wouldn't have done either of them good. Whether she was going to move on or somehow find it in herself to give him another chance, she deserved to know what his real motives had been in pulling away. He remained in silence for a few more moments, the words he was trying to speak lodged uncomfortably in his throat. Clare already thought ill of him, since he hadn't spoken a word to her in two weeks, but explaining this to her would heighten that distaste to something even worse. Be it disgust, anger, or worse, fear, Eli was dreading what her reaction would eventually be. Finally pulling himself together, he let his gaze drop to the ground, his eyes closing. “Do you remember when we went on the first scavenger hunt, and I brought back the candy?” he asked, waiting a few seconds for her to either reply or at least recall what he was referring to. “I know that must have seemed so odd, but it just struck a chord in me, because something happened before I enrolled here that I'm not over. I'm not sure I ever will be.” he murmured, disdain for himself coloring his tone. “My first girlfriend, her name was Julia. We were together for a while, and we got really close during that time. I wrapped my whole life around her. Everything was fine-- perfect, even-- until we started arguing more and more, and each week it got worse. Eventually, it just came to a head, and I flew off the handle. I just-” he paused, “I drove her away from me. She and I got into a huge fight, I told her a lot of things I didn't mean, and she ended up leaving the house and taking off on her bike.” The more Eli spoke, the lower his voice got, as if his shame would be less evident somehow at a lower volume. “She was hit by a car that night, died on impact. I couldn't even get to her in time, I couldn't apologize and tell her I never meant any of it. Everything I said led her to leaving, and led her to dying.” His voice cracked on the last few words, his fingers threading together as he tried to keep them still. “And that's why I know I'm not deserving of someone as amazing as you. I don't deserve to be happy at all.” he finished, left feeling as though someone had knocked the wind out of him.

Clare didn’t mean to come across as rude by getting to the heart of the issue. But the waiting only served to drive her crazy when she was standing right on the brink of the answer to the riddle. Fourteen days had come and gone, all spent exhausting every possible reason why Eli would grow so distant. For a long time she blamed herself, wondering if she had come on too strong, if the thrill of the chase was now over, or if he had a total change of heart. All prospects and the countless others didn’t quite fit considering the weeks of buildup they had. That one night shed light onto the fact that they were actually on the same page and had a mutual interest in one another. For him to then flip the script made Clare do away with faulting herself and believing the words of her friends who insisted that the problem must lie within the boy himself. Whatever obstacles he was up against, Clare wished that he would be able to share them with her. Since the problems with her parents began, Eli had been right there offering his supporting and helping her to deal with all the strain that was placed on her. If there was a serious problem he had going on, Clare wanted to reciprocate and be there for him as well. Everything in their relationship was equal, or at least that’s how Clare honestly saw it. Reading his body language, Clare could tell that he was bracing himself to unleash something big. It made her nervous but she stayed quiet, watching him anxiously until he began to speak. His question was an odd one but if it somehow related to what he was about to share, Clare wasn’t in a position to inquire further. Instead she nodded, instantly recalling their first trip together to Eli’s bookstore. The scavenger hunt called upon them both to track down items that came to mind when they read the five words the other person had assigned them. Clare had written down “memory” and as a result, Eli had returned with a package of Skittles that a friend of his had been obsessed with. For the life of her, Clare couldn’t piece together how the two were related but as Eli began, the gap between the two instances was filled. Eli had only spoken of his ex once, never mentioning the girl’s name and glossing over anything remotely telling. All Clare was left with was the distinct feeling that he hadn’t gotten over her and as Eli delved further into his explanation, she could see why. Her jaw dropped as a chill that had nothing to do with the weather ran down her spine. She could see it clearly her in mind though the elusive Julia’s face was a blur in her mind’s eye. Clare closed her eyes faintly. She was heartbroken for Eli and disgusted with herself so being so upset with him the last few weeks. “I’m so sorry,” she said softly, shifting closer to him now. She wasn’t sure if it would be okay to have contact now but it hardly mattered as she placed a hand over his to steady it. “Eli, you have to listen to me. It’s not your fault she died, I swear it isn’t. It’s unfortunate what happened to her, truly, devastating. But the blame doesn’t fall on your shoulders; you weren’t the one behind the wheel,” she insisted. “You do deserve happiness though, everyone does. You can’t refuse to carry on your life because of something that was far beyond your control.”

Eli almost couldn't believe everything he'd just said to Clare, but a rush of relief accompanied the confession. Regardless of whether or not she'd take it well, the words were out, and speaking them to her offered more comfort than it did when he told Adam. Even being around Clare again was comforting on its own, despite the fact that her body language was more frigid than he'd ever seen it before. Hearing her apologize, he wanted to shake his head and say that the only person who owed apologies for the rest of his life was him, but he felt too rattled to work out such a coherent reply. As she moved closer, Eli made sure to stay in his own spot, caught off guard as her hand settled on top of his. The warmth of it traveled through his own, his eyes closing just slightly at how good it felt to be near her again. “I feel like I killed her. Maybe I wasn't the one driving that car, but she could have been safe had we not gotten into that fight. I was supposed to protect her.” Inhaling, Eli sat up a little bit and turned his body towards Clare, taking a glimpse at her and then looking back at the bench beneath them. “I feel like there's a lot of things I'm not over yet. I might feel able to get romantically attached to another person, but every time I think long-term, all I can see is you getting hurt like she did. I don't feel like I'm the kind of boyfriend you should have.” He let a moment of silence fall between them, his hand finally moving to hold hers back. “But that's not for me to decide. I never should have taken it upon myself to pull away like I did. It left you with way too many questions, and I hate knowing that I hurt you. I'm so sorry, Clare.” he whispered, glancing between their coupled hands and her eyes.

Clare’s head was spinning, trying in vain to process all the information Eli had shared with her. It was by far the last thing she ever would have guessed, so sure that he might’ve been making a mountain out of a molehill in thinking his news was that bad. Nonetheless, Clare didn’t blame him at all for what happened and was saddened to see that the boy had been carrying around his heavy burden for so long. She was an accepting person and knew that Eli was aware of that. It came down to him being comfortable and ready enough to speak up about the personal tragedy he had endured before crossing paths with her. All her anger and confusion over the last two weeks faded away. Clare's instant reaction was to coddle him and protect him from the memory of the past. This situation wasn’t one she knew how to handle exactly but it was clear to her how broken Eli felt. If she could help to piece him back together with a kind word or small touch, she would do everything in her power to lessen the load he carried. She felt awful for Julia, a young girl whose life had been cut so short. And for Eli who was left in the aftermath and torturing himself with guilt and blame. She shook her head defiantly in protest, wanting him to do away with the thought that he was in any way responsible for what happened. “People get into fights all the time. Even if you never got a chance to tell her you didn’t mean the things you said, she had to have known you still cared for her deeply.” Clare stopped short, realizing that her eyes were filling with moisture. She swallowed the lump in her throat, collecting herself before continuing. “I’m going to be okay and you’re right; that should be my decision. I choose you, Eli. I did in the start of the school year and I’m still choosing you now. We don’t have to make something of this right now. But whenever you’re ready, I would like to at least explore the possibility.” She searched his eyes, feeling worlds better with his hand on hers. “I was so selfish. I feel like such a jerk right now for being mad at you,” she mumbled, disappointed in herself. “It’s okay. At least I know now and I promise, I won’t pressure you. But you have to promise me something in return, okay? If you’re dealing with something, you have to tell me. I’ve said it before: this friendship is a two-way street. You’ve always been there for me so please, let me be there for you. I always want to help, Eli. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

Eli normally didn't like how it felt to open up to people about Julia. Usually, it felt awfully premature to be sharing such a personal piece of himself, and even if it wasn't, the pitying expression he'd receive once he was done speaking was enough to deter him. It was a sad story, and he certainly knew it since he was perpetually caught up in reliving it, but the sympathy of others didn't help. If anything, it made him feel more alone, knowing that if they were giving that sort of reaction, it must have meant that there was truly something wrong with him. They were reminders that he didn't need or want, but with Clare, it felt different. He knew she sympathized with him, but it wasn't in a way that made him feel less than or somehow changed in her eyes. He wasn't an emotional basket case to her, or a person to fear. Those were his two biggest concerns in opening up, but he was finding that luckily, being vocal only seemed to fill in a few blanks for her. Eli was a walking enigma and he knew it. As much as he liked making people wonder, it felt even better to have Clare understand without him having to delve into deeper detail. They were attuned enough to each to simply get it, and two weeks apart from each other did nothing to lessen that. He listened to her counter argument, but didn't say anything to rebut even though he didn't agree. In Eli's eyes, he'd failed Julia, before and after her death. The second half was something he couldn't bring himself to tell Clare yet, already feeling exposed enough with her knowing the first bit. He wasn't sure a day would ever come where he'd want or need to tell her, but it definitely wasn't today. As she continued, gradually the weight he'd been carrying the fourteen days was lifted, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tried to think of adequate words to say. Nothing could fully round up the gratitude and relief he felt, amazed that being together was even something she still wanted to pursue. Hearing her blame herself, the words finally came to Eli, adamantly shaking his head. “No. You were in the right. You didn't know anything about this situation, so every conclusion you might have jumped to is justified. Don't feel bad about it, please.” he insisted, hoping she would take his word for it. He returned to his attentive, listening self when she spoke again, his eyes widening at her prompting. For the first time since getting her attention, Eli smiled slightly, his laugh a little more bitter than it was sweet. “I'm not used to that. I'm pretty sure that's a given,” he joked, gesturing between them at the situation they were currently in, “I'll try. It's all I can promise right now, since it's going to take some getting used to. But I'll try, I swear.” he assured, inhaling to soothe his own nerves a beat later. “And once I'm in a place where I can put this behind me enough to be your boyfriend, I will be. Thank you for being patient with me.” Letting a few seconds pass, Eli inched over closer to Clare on the bench and pulled her into a hug, his body relaxing immediately once he breathed in her scent. “I'll never do that to you again.” he whispered, finally unafraid to let down a part of his wall. Withdrawing only enough to see her, Eli's expression lifted considerably, a rush of red flooding to his cheeks both because of the weather, and being so close to her again. “Can I start making it up to you by going on every single one of these rides together? Even the carousel, even if riding it will have me cringing the whole time.” he added.

Imogen went about her day just like she went about every other day. She smiled, daydreamed, and mused as much as she could manage; it was how she got along. The girl was still hesitant about referring to anyone as a friend, but in what had proven to be a busy semester, she had certainly broken out of her figurative shell and moved past her quirky ways to develop what she perceived as genuine bonds. Imogen had never been shy about speaking to just about everyone, but sometimes that backfired. People were often taken aback by her random babbling and what they surely saw as a delusional belief that she had any right in their conversation's. In reality, Imogen knew no other way to speak to people than to just dive in, face first. It baffled even herself that she could be so open and yet so intimidated by just about everything. Imogen bounced out into the hall after her class let out, her lips pursed and face upward as she marched down the hall, freak flag flying so to speak. Smiling at whatever friendly faces she saw, the brunette came to a halt at her locker. Her stomach was grumbling even as she fiddled with the combination on her lock. "Tummy, hush," Imogen grumbled back, ignoring whatever odd looks she received for speaking to no one and reminding herself there was only one more class separating her from the school's pizza day. The hall was full of talk and even laughter, so it took her a moment to realize someone was next to her and attempting to get her attention. Imogen turned her head, expecting anyone but who she saw. At the sight of Adam, her eyes went wide. She almost dropped the book she had taken from the locker but quickly recovered, clutching it to her chest. "W-what?" she stuttered as she stared at him. He was talking, but his words simply rushed over her like water, threatening to drown her. When she realized he was attempting to engage her in actual conversation, she swallowed hard, glancing around. "W-what do you mean?" she asked. "I think so," she muttered. She wanted to add that she was less okay now that he was here, but she didn't want to be mean. "Why? Do I look... bad?" Imogen asked, touching the bottom of her hair, which was in two top knots on top of her head. She fiddled with the loose strands, looking away.

Adam used every ounce of courage in him not to leave as soon as he saw her reaction to him talking to her. He wasn't sure what he expected, but any reaction that wasn't a smile from Imogen in response to his presence left him unsettled -- not that he didn't deserve it by now. He wasn't sure if she was uncomfortable or just surprised, but either way he hated that he had let this go on so long. He quickly realized the stupidity of his own words when she asked if she looked bad, and quickly shook his head. "No, that's not what I meant" he assured her, "you always look amazing." His own words tugged at his heart, guilt quickly being added to the list of things he was going to need to process when he could get himself to calm down. "I was just wondering - I, because" his words stopped in his throat as he saw a girl looking at him and whispering to her friend over Imogen's shoulder, and he looked back at Imogen, desperately. "I was just trying to get you alone so I could talk to you" he admitted, realizing he was still holding his shoulder and quickly letting go of it, wincing. "It's about the... kiss" he continued, hesitantly, eyes downcast, not knowing what seeing her face when he said it would do to him. "But als- but something happened, and I really need you to hear about it from me before you hear about it from someone else" the girl who was whispering was gone, now, but he was sure she knew. He was sure everyone she knew, knew.

Imogen was wounded by Adam's impromptu compliment, not because she didn't want to hear it but because he was choosing now to tell her she looked amazing. Her eyes shifted away from him uncomfortably, her face crumpling. If she had been a different person, she might have pointed out that that was questionable considering how he reacted to their kiss, but she couldn't form the words or the snark to do that. Imogen could see that Adam was struggling with something, but she couldn't make out what. Her own expression was pained as she looked back at him and waited in the midst of his rambling, only more confused about what he would have to say. At the mention of their kiss, every hair on Imogen's body felt like it was hit by electricity. She straightened up and recoiled all at once. "What?" Imogen repeated, her voice breathy and strained. Such a title as just "the kiss" sounded so ominous. Eli's words sounded off one by one in her brain, and for a minute, she hoped he had been right; Adam had come to clear the air and things would finally progress, or at the very least, they could be friends again. But combined with his last words and her realization that people were staring them down as they passed, Imogen suddenly felt frazzled. Her cheeks turned pink in embarrassment at everyone's stare, dread rushing her at the possibilities of what he needed to say. "What do I need to hear? Is this about why you've ignored me for weeks?" Imogen finally exclaimed, her words rushed and her voice frantic. Her brows knit together as she frowned at him. Why were people staring? What could have happened that prompted him to finally talk to her? It was clear everyone knew something she didn't, and she was suddenly reminded of years of torment at the hands of her peers, people staring and whispering as they looked at her. "Adam Torres, just tell me what's going on!" At the very least, Imogen was close to tears.

Adam closed his eyes when she (finally, finally) sounded almost angry -- a reasonable response, a response he deserved. Looking back at her, his heart almost broke at the sight of how upset she was. He resisted the urge to hug her, knowing that was probably the last thing she wanted, and that if he did that anyone looking would now definitely associate her with him, and he wasn't sure if that's what she would want after this. She wasn't one to be in the center of drama, she had barely spoken to him after Eli's fight with Fitz, and this was a whole different kind. "I'm sorry!" his voice shook as he said it, and he tugged at his hoodie nevously, forgetting about his arm and hissing in pain and he shook his head again. "I didn't mean to ignore you, I just -- it does have to do with it. I wanted to kiss you, I like you, but, I haven't told you everything I should have and I'm really regretting it because I have no choice now" he said, vaguely, still for some reason afraid to say the words. Looking at the people passing by, he sighed. "What's going on is this: Fitz and I just got into a fight in the boys' room" he began, looking at her again in hopes that eye contact would make this better when it just made him feel so much worse. "And it got bad. It got bad, because he... found out that I'm an FTM. A female-to-male transgender. Which means that I'm a guy, but I was born in a girl's body" he explained, and sighed. "And that's why I ran, because... because I wasn't sure how you would feel about that. I was afraid you wouldn't want to be around me anymore, or that you'd be disgusted or think that I wasn't a guy like Fitz" he said, squeezing his eyes shut as panic began to set in once again at the knowledge that Fitz was going to do whatever he pleased with this information and there was nothing he could do to stop him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I..." he trailed off, opening his eyes and avoiding her gaze.

Imogen couldn't remember the last time she felt so anxious and just downright upset, but it was a wave of emotions she hadn't anticipated. Her entire face fell in more confusion as Adam's arm jerked, wanting to ask what was wrong but knowing he was already trying to explain one thing; she didn't need him veering off topic. All she needed was answers. Her heart raced at his explanation, particularly him admitting to liking her. It was something the two had just assumed about each other, that one liked the other, but it was the first time either of them had admitted it. Imogen didn't have time to savor the moment, because all too quickly it was over and Adam had pulled her further down the rabbit hole. Her breath caught in her throat. What hadn't he told her? Was it another girl? Of course it -- how stupid could she have been to think she would be anything but someone's last choice? The tears in her eyes had finally pooled enough to begin falling, her emotions already reacting to the explanation she had created in her own head before he finished explaining his side of events. Imogen was prepared to turn and flee when the words finally hit: female-to-male. Everything about Fitz and a new fight had gone over her head before that, and once she processed it, she began to rewind his words in an attempt to put the pieces together. In the end, all she could do was stare. "You were hiding that from me? Who you really are?" Imogen questioned. The words weren't right, but it was all she could manage. She couldn't place which emotions she felt, but there was one above everything else: she was overwhelmed. It was like a weight crushing her chest, making it hard to breathe. It was worse than just a migraine in her head, it was piercing, like she couldn't even remember her own name. Imogen was blinking a mile a minute, but she spotted a familiar face rounding the corner: Adam's brother, Drew. The two had met when she had been at the Torres house for dinner weeks earlier. Her face flushed further when Drew spotted the back of Adam's head and began towards them. No, no, no, she couldn't do this. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't help him, she was going to make it worse. Imogen felt her mind caving in on her. "I--- I have to go," Imogen spat suddenly, turning on her heel and practically running down the hall without even bothering to shut her locker.

Imogen smiled joyously at Audra once more. "Thanks again, Mrs. Torres! Those tacos were the bee's knees," the brunette told Adam's mother, nodding firmly as Audra thanked her in response. Imogen turned from the rest of the family and followed her friend out of the dining room, tailing closely behind Adam as he neared the steps that seemed to lead down somewhere. As they descended the steps, a wide and furnished space came into view. Her dark hues scanned the area in surprise as she paused at the base of the staircase. "Jeez Louise," she huffed, her eyes still widening. "I wish my basement looked like this!" It wasn't every day that Imogen Moreno found herself in a basement that wasn't her own; on one hand, that was probably a good thing, especially considering that could be dangerous. But she was quite certain that even the safest basement wouldn't compare to the man cave that Adam and his brother seemed to have set up. Imogen's hand lingered on the banister before she stepped on to the floor and continued toward the large couch. After examining the piece of furniture and getting another look around the area, the petite female plopped down, dramatically touching her full stomach. "You weren't kidding about those tacos!" Imogen leaned her head back in mock agony. "I could just die from such fulfillment!" She held her pose a moment before sighing contently and lifting her head, meeting Adam's gaze. She realized that the two were alone for the first time that evening. In fact, it was the first time she had ever been alone in a house with a boy she didn't share some form of relation to. Offering a gentle smile, Imogen scooted over and patted the area beside her, careful to gesture him too close. "Let's perish together," she added with a light chuckle, her eyes crinkling from the laughter behind the lenses of her glasses.

Adam couldn't help but grin at the sight of Imogen complimenting his mother's cooking and thus earning a thank you and small smile in return -- anything that didn't involve his mother grilling Imogen with questions was enough to make him smile, but she had actually managed to tone it down this time, leaving Adam with a sneaking suspicion she was glad that he was making friends and didn't want to scare them off yet. Whatever the reason, though, she seemed to like Imogen -- and though he definitely hadn't missed the look she'd shared with his father upon seeing Imogen's quirky attire, he was glad she held in the usual comments she'd usually chime in with when she caught Andrew with a girl over. Briefly as they were eating he had considered whether her opinion would have stayed the same if she knew Imogen is who he'd went to the Sadie Hawkins dance with -- especially since inviting her over didn't exactly scream "not getting too involved" -- but he decided to shrug it off, because mention (and specifically lectures about) that night were finally dying down, and he'd rather forget about it altogether. Plus, Imogen had forgiven him and they were good. Leading her down the stairs into the basement, partially to avoid his father's knowing kind of looks, and partially because he kind of just wanted to be alone with her. It was a rarity they hung out in the first place, and even when they did it was mostly at school, which meant Eli and/or Clare were close by; The last time they'd actually been alone was on their pre-dance half karaoke contest/half steak eating contest, and that felt like forever ago now. When he heard her praise the basement, his grin only grew as he watched her walk over to the couch, examining the room. This had become his and Andrew's space in the short time they lived here -- mostly in his mom's hopes of keeping Andrew's obnoxious and messy friends -- generally what football players were -- out of her living room. "The ultimate man-cave" he said to her, unsure of how else to explain the videogame-ridden shelves with three different game systems to choose from, even including a 99 cent basketball hoop stuck on the door to the laundry area. Chuckling when she plopped down on the couch, he couldn't help but stop himself from thinking she was adorable, dramatically full from the tacos and all. "Torres tacos are so the best tacos, I told you they put Degrassi's to shame" he agreed, walking over to the couch when she patted the spot next to her, a smile spreading across his face to mirror her's before he mimicked her, leaning back on the couch like he was about to faint from being so full himself, laughing with her again. "So..." he started, feeling lightheaded from laughing with her so much already, and realizing he hadn't been alone with a girl in a long time, and it had been under much different circumstances the last time. "Was my mom too much?" he asked, lamely at a loss for words now. Though she'd avoided overbearing questions, she hadn't gone /entirely/ without them -- how long have you been at Degrassi? Are you in any clubs? How do you know Adam? And so on, so forth, though that seemed innocent enough.

Imogen pretended to consider his words before nodding firmly. "You were right. I was a total nut to ever question it," she admitted with a chuckle. It took a special kind of person to really appreciate what the cafeteria had to offer, and if the girl was anything, she was special. Imogen raised her hand again, pointing a knowing finger at Adam as her brows knit together. "It was the homemade taco shells! Those did me in," she continued, unabashed in still praising the cooking even if Audra was no longer around to hear it. Despite her small appearance, Imogen knew how to appreciate a good meal. Cooking was something that she and her father had always done together; one of the many bonding experiences she had also lacked with her mother. Imogen laughed as Adam mimicked her motions, happy to have someone to join in the fun with her. Most of the boys at school were too preoccupied with acting cool to be genuine with her, or in the case of Fitz and Owen, they were just making fun of her instead. It was only part of the mix that made her ever thankful to have found friendship in Adam and Eli. She only continued to giggle at Adam's obvious concern over his mother's questions. The brunette waved her hand and shook her head. "No way, Jose!" Imogen objected. "Usually it's me that's too much," she added in jest. That didn't mean that Audra's questioning eyes hadn't gone unnoticed. She had stared a little longer than was normal at Imogen, undoubtedly taking in the odd patterns and colors that completed the young girl's attire. But Imogen was used to it. Being the oddball she was, she had accepted long ago that people were going to look a little longer than they looked at someone who would be considered normal. It was never her hope to be considered that in the first place. For that reason, she had done her best to answer his mother's questions as earnestly as possible, although she wasn't sure her odd humor translated to Audra quite as well as it did to Adam. "Honest, Adam, don't worry about it," she said as she sensed he might have been a little worried about his mother's first impression on her. It felt nice to know that someone cared what Imogen thought, no matter how unsure she was where her friendship with Adam might lead. "I can tell she really cares about you," Imogen continued. "That's really nice." A softer smile graced her lips as she considered just how nice it must have been to have a mother who was present to ask questions regarding their child's friends. Natalie had barely been present when she did live there; now that she had moved out, it would be impossible. Imogen forced her smile a little wider, trying to hide the thoughtfulness her expression had taken on. "Is this where you do all your gaming?" she asked, looking toward the numerous systems and games before her, some of which she couldn't identify.

Adam nodded, because she was probably right. The home-made taco shells definitely made the whole meal better. "It's not funny, she can be relentless!" he exclaimed in response to her giggles, but was glad to hear Imogen didn't mind. Though, he wasn't happy that she said that she was usually the one that was too much. "You're perfect" he responded, honestly, though he wasn't sure if she was kidding, he really thought so. She was definitely weird sometimes, but it was a part of her that he actually really liked. "Plus, she seemed to like you" he finished his thought, smiling at the fact; His mom had a hard time having an open mind with a lot of things, but after a while she had warmed up to Imogen in the best way she could. Sitting up a bit, he looked at her when she said it was really nice, and he watched her smile. "I guess" he said, because while he knew it was true, his relationship with her right now wasn't exactly the greatest and he felt much better not admitting it and being angry about the fact that she was still having so much trouble accepting him. The word gaming broke him out of his small pity party, though, and he grinned, nodding. "Yeah! We have pretty much every console we've ever had hooked up in here right now," he gestured to the shelf. Imogen felt her cheeks flushing with heat at his comment. Adam was always complimenting her, and she never quite knew what to make of them outside of saying thank you or brushing them off. She had never been the objection of anyone's affection; not that she believed she was Adam's either, but everyone else seemed to think so and his continued praise of her only made her wonder. Her experience with boys was slim to say the least. The girl had always been far too busy defending her quirks to notice anyone else admiring them the way Adam seemed to. She turned her head, smiling to herself. "What's not to like about Imogen Moreno?" she teased in response, but deep down, she truly was glad to hear Audra thought well of her, even if her stares had lingered more than once. The brunette turned her attention back to the large gaming system sprawled in front of her. She was still in awe at all the equipment the Torres brothers had acquired, and though she had no doubt they'd been collecting for some time, she was still surprised that teenage boys could collect so much. Imogen leaned forward as she eyed the systems. "So this is where you spend all your time?" Imogen asked, giving him a sly glance as she smirked. "This stuff sure does take up a lot of room," she noted quickly after. "Is that why you had to move? To find a place that could house all of this?" She began to laughing again, knowing that wasn't true but finding amusement in her own humor like she did so often.

Adam nodded. "Exactly" he agreed, what was not to like? When she asked if this is where he spent all his time he almost said "pretty much", this room was practically his baby after all, but chuckled when he realized that's what she wanted to hear, as well as how lame that sounded and the teasing he would have totally gotten about it. "While I was grounded, pretty much" he said, raising his eyebrow at her. He couldn't help but laugh at her question. "Yep, totally. Gaming is top priority in the Torres household. Not being able to fit all of these on our old entertainment system totally broke my mom's heart so much that she decided to move to a house where they could get a room all to themselves" he said in faux seriousness before laughing again and shaking his head. "But really, we used to not have it all hooked up at once, so this set up is much better" he explained.

Imogen was certainly impressed with Adam's ability to return her sarcasm, particularly considering it was a skill that many others seemed to lack. The only other person that seemed to flow as easily was Imogen was her own dad, and that was most likely due to the fact that he had raised her, morphing her into the odd ball she was. "I thought so. Audra Torres, true gamer advocate. I just imagine her pleading with your dad," Imogen retorted, snickering before she widened her eyes in mock surprise. "You mean you had to unplug one and plug in the other? The horror!" She closed her eyes and threw her head back as dramatically as she could manage, cringing in faux horror. After a moment of the holding the pose, she opened one eye to look at him, eventually returning to her former state and laughing. "Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad you ended up here," she added softly. "Games and all."

Adam shook his head, but smirked, holding back his laughter at the girl's antics. "It was pretty terrible" he joked along with her, grinning goofily when she looked at him. He didn't quite know what it was about Imogen that made him like her so much -- she was gorgeous, obviously, and she was unique... weird, even. Maybe that was it, her being weird, when he was weird. When he thought about it, that was probably why he was friends with Eli, too. Clare was a whole other story, but he credited their friendship to her unwavering kindness. Imogen... was something else. "I'm glad I ended up here, too" he said, honestly, "and that I met you." He could easily say he loved Degrassi so much so far because he had come as himself, finally, finally, himself. But his friends had a lot to do with it, too. He had never really had this before, his flaming crush on Imogen aside -- a friendship with people who he enjoyed hanging out with so much.

Imogen "I'm sure your mom is a force to be reckoned with," Imogen giggled, continuing their parade of silliness with no shame as she looked on happily at him. Her coy grin shifted into something of a genuine smile as he replied, his response somehow warming her heart in a way she hadn't expected. The concept of friendship was new enough to her, so she really had no idea what to make of whatever she had with Adam, assuming there was something at all. "Sure, I'm happy for that too," she agreed, making a mental note to ask Clare about Adam at their sleepover. "A little glad," she teased after a second, tilting her head in towards him. Holding her pose for a split second, she released how close they were on the couch and felt her cheeks flush once more. Never one to handle uncertainty very well, Imogen practically jumped back to her end of the couch. "A movie!" Imogen was almost shouting, the awkwardness she felt only fueling her socially inept behavior. "Um, a movie? Do you have a movie we could watch?" she clarified in a softer tone.

Adam nodded, widening his eyes dramatically and said "You have no idea" in response to Imogen saying his mother was a force to be reckoned with. Shaking his head at that thought, he couldn't help but smile when she said she was glad to have met him, too -- her words making his heart jump in a hopeful kind of way -- whether it was because they were friends or whatever else, he wasn't sure. Her joke brought him out of that moment, though, as he pretended to be offended and scoffed, looking away to hide his smile before turning around to realize their proximity. He blinked, feeling like his breath was stuck in his throat, because she was literally right there and he could kiss her right now -- but the idea of not getting too close stopped him, only to be followed with the worry that kissing her could possibly ruin the friendship he had just told her he liked so much -- so he didn't, and a second later, she was across the couch (though, he wasn't sure if this was him being too hopeful, but was she blushing?).  He was taken aback by her sudden movement, as well as her sudden suggestion, but he cleared his throat before nodding. "Sure!" he said, awkwardly, "we... have a lot of DVDs..." 

Imogen could sense that her sudden outburst had interrupted whatever moment the two had been sharing. Imogen wasn't the best at reading social signals, something that was no secret to anyone who so much as glanced at her. She was an odd one; that was the nicest way to put it. And the fact that Adam accepted her for that made her all the more terrified to lose his friendship. To say she was being overly cautious would have been an understatement. Swallowing back the lump that had formed in her throat as her nervousness mounted, the petite brunette nodded quickly and offered a hasty smile. After the moment of silence that followed, Imogen suddenly clapped her hands together and smiled. "Movies! Yay!" Her smile widened as she wiggled around to express her excitement before jumping to her feet, all actions of a very anxious individual. She looked around, having planted herself in front of Adam. "Show me the goods," she said. Realizing her mistake, Imogen's fell agape. "The good movies, that is," she muttered, laughing softly to herself as she lowered her head in embarrassment.

Adam almost shot up to go to the shelf where the movies were out of his own nervous energy, but Imogen stood in front of him. When she said "show me the goods", he did his best not to laugh when she realized how that sounded. "Coming right up" he said, his amusement still a bit clear in his voice as he got up and moved past her, carefully not touching her, and definitely not thinking about showing her the goods and all the disaster that would come with the scenario at all. Opening the door, he scanned the names of the movies, suddenly amused on his own accord. Point Break, Kick Ass, Die Hard... hardly created a romantic atmosphere. Not that you want that, he reminded himself, his nervousness returning just from that one thought. Spotting a few that didn't seem entirely horrible, he pulled them out. "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist? Or Scott Pilgrim vs. the World? Or..." he trailed off, shrugging. "Lady's choice?" he continued, figuring that might be the best route if he wasn't sure what her movie preferences were. In the month they had known each other, they had never gotten down to all their favorites. "We have the first five Harry Potters" he also suggested.

Imogen bit her lip, releasing a sigh of relief when Adam moved on and walked past her, presumably to where the movies were. She hesitated for several moments, regathering her composure before she turned on her heel to watch Adam dig through the stand of movies. From where she stood, she could see they owned quite a bit, more than were at her house, so she wasn't sure what the hold up was. As he began to name titles, she tilted her head to the side and pondered the possibilities, thinking aloud. "Such good choices..." But at the mention of Harry Potter, the girl perked up like a dog who had just heard the door open. "Harry Potter!" Imogen exclaimed in a mock British accent. She heard how terrible it sounded and laughed nervously to herself, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "I love Harry Potter," she offered, her cheeks growing warm again. "Is that silly?" she asked, unsure if the movies belonged to Adam or Drew, although she was wiling to bet the older Torres wasn't a wizard fan.

Adam: should have known a fellow Potterhead when he saw one. Unable to stop his laughter at her accent, he turned to face her to see her nervously playing with the hem of her shirt, the sight making him feel almost bad for laughing. "No, it's awesome, actually" he promised. Just another thing they had to talk about. "I love Harry Potter, too" he told her, smiling at the thought before popping in Sorcerer's Stone. It wasn't his favorite by a long shot, but he had this need to start at the beginning whenever he watched these DVDs. "Which one is your favorite?" he asked, curiously, knowing his was the Goblet of Fire -- even though he'd had a friend who used to swoon because it had the Twilight guy in it -- and moving to sit again. "Wait, do you want popcorn or something?" he offered, figuring they were watching a movie after all.

Imogen: hesitated at his sudden laughter, worried that she had said the wrong thing and that he was somehow going to taunt her. But when he assured her it was good, she lifted her head back up and smiled. As silly as it was, she was suddenly overjoyed to find out that the two had something in common, particularly something Imogen enjoyed so much. Imogen sucked in her bottom lip at his question, tilting her head to the side and pretending to ponder hard on it. "That's a toughie!" Seconds later, she lifted her hand and extended her pointer finger in his direction. "The Prisoner of Azkaban, definitely," she confirmed, her lips pursed after she spoke. Imogen turned and walked back to the couch, resuming her seat. She pulled her legs into her chest and shook her head. "Harry Potter stands on its own. No snacks necessary," she said in jest.

Eli grabbed his extra pillow off his bed, making sure to leave one for Clare to use as he set up a spot to rest on the floor. Even if he didn't want to admit it, the blanket she brought was more than enough to buffer the hard surface, making it so he wouldn't have too much of a kink in his back come morning. Their plans for the evening had been simple; to spent time together away from the rest of the school body, creating a bubble of sorts to take in the night. After laying the blanket down on the floor between the two other beds, Eli slowly eased himself down to lay on it, exhaling in surprise a moment later. "This is actually bearable." he said aloud, adjusting the pillow beneath his head. "Is Miss Edwards content with her arrangements for the night?"

Clare sat Indian-style on Eli’s bed, her back against the wall as she watched him set up the small space between his bed and Adam’s. The thought of breaking the rules so much and staying overnight in the boys’ dorm didn’t cause her panic like she thought it would. Thanks to Eli, Clare was getting used to the idea of going against the provisions of the chaperons and staff—if only while on this camping trip. She was looking forward to hanging out with the boys, the timing of their invite made even more perfect due to the fact that her bunk mate and best friend Alli was now spending time with Drew. Clare beamed cockily, never failing to enjoy hearing just how correct she was. “As I knew it would be. That blanket is the best.” Fluffing up the pillow that remained on the bed, Clare nodded. “Yup, I’m all set.”

Adam sat on top of his blanket, watching the exchange between Eli and Clare silently, the awkwardness of earlier events leaving him at a loss for words at the moment -- what do you say when a tampon falls out of your pocket in the middle of a conversation with two people who would have no idea why you'd need it, and the only excuse you could have even tried to give in the moment was such a horrible one? It had Adam's nerves shot, because he knew now that they knew something was up, and he didn't even have Andrew to go to for advice about it right now. He wasn't without amusement, however, especially due to the fact that Eli had been so quick to offer up his bed for Clare, -- something he'd most definitely gotten a knowing look from Adam for -- or the fact that Clare was even breaking the rules to stay over at all. They were planning to have a night hanging out together, which they hadn't had since the trip had started, really. With Eli and Clare going out on their own, and Adam being out with Imogen, this would be nice. And maybe they would enjoy themselves enough to just forget the entire incident. "So now that everyone's comfortable," he said, almost sarcastically due to the fact that he certainly wasn't -- literally or figuratively right now, what with his nervousness and the fact that he had been wearing his binder about 48 plus hours longer than recommended -- "What were we planning to do?" he continued, a little desperate to get some kind of distraction going.

Eli knew that the evening hadn't gone entirely smooth, but wasn't sure how to breath the conversation of what had taken place earlier. It was in Eli's nature to live and let live, never prying into other people's business when he surely didn't want them in his own. But he couldn't imagine why Adam would be in possession of a tampon, least of all on a school trip of all places. He understood having to run errands for women in his life, Cece making him buy feminine hygiene products more than once on her behalf. But it didn't add up considering their current environment. All the same, he shrugged off the uncertainty about the incident, sensing that it was something Adam wasn't keen on delving into. Eli was more than content to carry on with the evening as it if hadn't happened, all but forgetting about it once they'd gotten back on track. "Well, this is a stereotypical sleepover, is it not? What do people do on them?" he asked aloud, placing his arms comfortably behind his back. "Ghost stories? Truth or dare? I think this is actually turning into a competition of how juvenile can we get." he mused, laughing at himself. "I'm not really a sleepover expert, since I think this is the first I've had in years. You guys would know better than me."

Clare hoped that they would still be able to have a fun night regardless of the mishap that had passed earlier on. Seeing the tampon drop from Adam’s hoodie brought forth a medley of questions but she refrained from asking. It was already an awkward situation all around, most notably for Adam, she imagined. For the life of her she couldn’t understand why he was in possession of such a thing. It was alarming enough but as Adam didn’t call attention to it, Clare decided to follow his lead and act as if she simply hadn’t noticed. The best way to go about that was to keep conversation going, relying heavily on their close bond and banter to be their saving grace. The evening had nothing but good intentions, allowing the three friends the opportunity to squeeze in some serious bonding time while on their school trip. Clare wanted for them to make the most of it, knowing that now it was the middle of the week and before they all knew it, they would be back on a bus heading home. Looking to Adam as he spoke, she mulled over what the three of them could do. “Well, Alli and I always do each other’s nails and talk about boys so…I’m guessing that’s off the table,” she said, feigning a deep sigh as if this was a true loss. “We could watch a movie if you guys want? That probably means me having to watch The Avengers or something but I can live with that. I’m the guest, you all should have had a full itinerary mapped out for me.”

Adam shrugged, this was his first sleepover since middle school, and unfortunately, his experience with it mirrored Clare's to a tee. "Me either" he said, agreeing with Eli's sentiment, laughing slightly at Eli's suggestions as well. Looking at Clare when she spoke, he nodded. "Maybe a movie would be good" he said, mostly because that would involve less opportunity for conversation, and in turn less opportunity for conversation he didn't want to have, but also because it would be nice to relax and watch a movie for a while. "Or, you know, juvenile stereotypical ghost stories while camping" he joked in a spooky voice, purposely knocking truth or dare off the list, widening his eyes in dramatic way before chuckling to himself. "Hey, I hadn't exactly been filled in on the invite until earlier today" he said in response to Clare, in mock defense, "you can deal with The Avengers." Shifting so that his pillow was behind him, he pulled at his hoodie, hoping to somehow adjust his binder only slightly without notice to no avail. "Does anyone have a movie?" he asked, knowing he probably did on iTunes, but that would require a net that didn't come through a cell phone.

Eli sat up in his spot, making his way over to where his bag was placed. "Luckily I knew this trip would have its dull moments, so I came prepared." he said to them both, pulling his laptop out and opening it up. "I can't promise you'll like the options we have on here but you'll have to grin and bear it." he teased Clare, grinning over at her before returning his attention to the screen. "You guys should come sit down here so we can all watch together, there's not enough room for the three of us on one bed." he suggested, still searching through the potential options. "Alright, we've got Captain America--the first one, Pulp Fiction, Silence of the Lambs, the first two seasons of Breaking Bad, and..." he murmured, sighing in exasperation at his own taste in films before he said the last one. "...Wall-E. I do like the occasional Pixar movie, don't give me grief about it." he grumbled, just waiting for one of them to tease him.

Clare wasn’t at all picky despite the mild teasing she’d given both the boys. In response to Adam, she rolled her eye jokingly. “That was plenty of time to piece something together.” She shot Eli a warning glance before laughing. Getting up from her spot on the bed, Clare took a seat on the ground beside Eli, pulling her knees to her chest and looking at the laptop screen as Eli rattled off the list of movies that he had in the device. Her face scrunched up hearing Silence of the Lambs, her tolerance for scary movies nonexistent—especially given their current location. The last thing she needed was to be up all night tossing and turning or worse, having nightmares. Her eyes widened as she laughed, completely caught off guard by the last film he offered him. “You’re never going to live that down. But I vote for Captain America. Chris Evans trumps all those others in my book.”

Adam laughed at the movie options, specifically the last one. Pulp Fiction, Breaking Bad, Silence of the Lambs, and Captain America brought him no surprise, but he hadn't taken Eli for any form of a secret Pixar lover. "Aw, it's okay, Eli, everyone's a sucker for Wall-E" he teased, and followed Clare's suit, getting off of the bed to sit on the other side of Eli, nodding at Clare's choice, though rolling his eyes at her reasoning. "Yeah, Captain America is good" he agreed, thinking that perhaps Silence of the Lambs would have brought about a terrified Clare -- maybe even a terrified Clare who hid her face in Eli's shoulder, and he definitely didn't need to feel even more a third wheel while watching a movie with his two best friends who were hopelessly in like with each other than he already did.

Eli "I hadn't anticipated anyone else seeing that." he mumbled, the small smile he wore giving him away despite his attempts to sound annoyed. "You girls and your obsession with him," he scoffed, only mildly jealous that Clare found the actor attractive. Secretly, he'd been hoping that the horror movie option would have won out, if only for the chance to have a frightened Clare stuck at his side. Shrugging off the thoughts, Eli hit play on the movie and tilted the screen so all three of them would have a good view, tugging down the pillows and blankets from the other two beds to make it more comfortable. Stuffing one behind his back, he held his torso up by his elbows, giving each of them a quick glance. "If anyone babbles during the intense scenes, I will personally see to it that you get smacked with a pillow." he warned, mainly focusing his threat on Adam since he knew sometimes, he enjoyed talking during movies.

Clare shook her head lightly, still laughing to herself after seeing Eli’s apparent guilty pleasure. It wasn’t something she would have ever expected of a guy like him but all the same, she found it to be endearing. “Hey, it’s not our fault he’s so easy on the eyes,” she said in defense of herself, unapologetic for her reasoning. In truth she actually did enjoy the movie but she liked bugging the boys however possible. It certainly beat getting scared senseless and possibly embarrassing herself with her reactions had she gone along with the scary movie she thought both of them would prefer. Getting settled in, Clare rested her chin on her knees, meeting Eli’s gaze briefly. “Is that any way to treat your friends,” she queried, smiling so he knew she was only joking. Clare fell silent as the opening scene began to play. She switched her position, outstretching her legs before her.

Adam shot Eli a dirty look before shaking his head. "If you want to be deprived the /awesome/ behind the scenes trivia I know about this movie, fine" he snickered, but grinned, joking and remembering actually being told to shut up a few times when watching things with Eli. As the movie began, he did remain quiet, but hugged his pillow to his chest, still not able to ignore his discomfort. Having been stuck in his sweatshirt all day, realizing that he had accidentally packed a few short sleeve shirts and wanting to get wearing them out of the way, he had been sweating a lot and he was positive his skin was going to be raw when he finally got to take the bandage off -- a thought that made him twitch in itself, not to mention the lecture he'd get for it if he told his mother about it. He swore he had a plan, that he thought sleeping in a room with someone other than Andrew (who had grown fairly accustomed to seeing Adam's ace-bandage over the past few months due to their sharing of a bathroom) through, and he'd figure out a way to dress properly and sleep without Eli noticing anything. In reality, that was all a lie to stop her from making a big deal about it and forcing Adam into a room with Andrew when Andrew had been almost as happy with his roommate situation as Adam had. Pulling at his hoodie again, he shifted his position and tried to turn his attention to the movie.

Eli never took long to get sucked into a movie, even one he'd already seen a dozen or more times. Scoffing lightly at Adam's retort, Eli returned his focus to the screen, only distracted once he felt Adam shifting beside him. At first, he didn't say anything, writing it off as an inability to get comfortable on the floor which--in reality--he wouldn't be able to blame anyone for. But as he moved again, Eli nearly spit out a comment until he caught sight of Adam's expression. He didn't look situated but more than that, he appeared bothered in general, as if more than the surface they were sitting on was weighing on his mind. "You alright?" he asked him, looking over at the boy in concern.

Clare wasn’t at all surprised to hear the conversation the two boys fell into. Adam knew all there was to know about anything related to comics and Eli was an avid movie buff if she’d ever seen one. She thought their banter was amusing, the girl smiling to herself as both of the boys relented and fell silent. With how quiet it was between the three of them now, save for the movie playing on the laptop, she couldn’t help but notice how much Adam was having trouble getting comfortable in his spot. She chalked it up to being on the hardwood, that within itself being an unideal place to sit. Clare looked over once more as Eli inquired, Clare realizing then that she wasn’t making it all up in her head that Adam was a bit fussy. “Yeah, is everything okay? Do you want my pillow?” she asked, trying to offer help though she wasn’t quite sure what the issue was to begin with.

Adam mentally cursed himself for squirming so obviously, and avoided looking at them as he said "I'm fine, thanks" and tried to casually turn his attention back to the movie. However, he knew that it wasn't cool of him not to explain himself earlier, so the fact that he was continuing to brush them off was probably only making things worse. "It's just the floor, sorry" he tried again, but with the way his voice cracked, he probably wouldn't believe himself. Shifting again, anxious this time, he sighed, and for the first time, honestly considered telling them. What was the worst that could happen? Clare, being religious, could avoid him, and like, what, pray for him? Eli, being a regular guy, could be weirded out. But if he knew one thing for sure after being friends with them for the almost-two-months that he had been at Degrassi, it was that they wouldn't tell anyone else, they weren't those kinds of people. And honestly? He was so sick of worrying all the time; He was sick of hiding who he was, of trying so hard to sound just right, look just right, stand just right. He was so sick of only having a family who was still mourning the loss of "Gracie" to confide in, Andrew included. If they didn't care... he could have two people who knew him as him from the start, they never would have known him as "Gracie", and they wouldn't talk to him like he was a stranger or some kind of damaged version of their daughter/sister. Finally looking at them, he paused the movie. "Actually, I'm not" he said, that little bit of honesty alone feeling like a weight being lifted off his shoulders. "I'm going to tell you guys something, and I just, I need you to promise that no matter what you think of me after I do, that you won't tell anyone."

Eli sat with furrowed brows at Adam's initial response, having enough of an understanding of him to know that he wasn't telling the entire story at all. There was something unsettled about his stature and the expression he wore, and a measly "I'm fine" wasn't enough to explain it away. Looking to him skeptically, Eli blinked twice before turning back to the movie, still perplexed but not wanting to push too hard. Once he spoke again, Eli noted the difference in his tone, the fragility to it letting him know the whole truth definitely wasn't being told. Adam had been acting strangely ever since the tampon fell out of his pocket, but overall, Eli had overlooked the entire situation. Only now that the boy was acting strangely again did he think back on it, wondering if the two were somehow related. Still, he didn't think it was his place to pull information out of him, unsure of how to actually breach the topic. As the three returned to the movie, Eli wasn't at all surprised when Adam paused the movie, quickly turning to face him as he spoke. He nodded carefully to his first statement, listening intently. "I'd never. Anything you say in here, stays here." he assured, glancing towards Clare as he knew she would be in agreement. He wasn't sure what Adam was about to let them in on, but he couldn't imagine anything would be so terrible that he'd be jetting for the door after hearing it.

Clare wasn’t too convinced of Adam’s nonchalant response, his body language seeming to contradict his reply. She wanted to ask again but thought better of it, just hoping that if something was troubling him that he would feel safe enough with both she and Eli to be upfront about it. The whole evening had a different energy to it than she was expecting initially, a weight that rested palpably over the trio of friends. Clare knew what the turning point had been and that the incident from earlier on with Adam. She tried unsuccessfully to come up with some justifiable reason as to why Adam would have a tampon on his person. After that, the three fell into a nonverbal mutual understanding of sorts and let the matter drop. But if the slight tension was any indication, the elephant in the room couldn’t be kept at bay for too long. It would come down to Adam being ready to speak up about what was going on and both Clare and Eli recognized that. Whenever he chose to shed light on the matter, they would be all ears. Deciding it best to just go back to the movie to try getting back on steady footing, Clare focused in until Adam paused the movie. She gave him her undivided attention, her expression one of concern over the way he decided to breach the subject. Clare could feel her heart beating faster as she shot Eli a quick glance. “Of course not. You can trust us with anything, Adam, we promise,” she vowed. Whatever it was must have been big but Clare was ready to handle anything he had to say, wanting him to know that he could rely on them to speak to candidly and protect his secret.

Adam nodded when they both agreed, surprising himself at how unsurprised he was. He moved the laptop to the side, and sat so he was looking at them fully. Clare's words made him smile before he spoke, the idea that he could trust them being one he wanted to believe under these circumstances. Looking at both of them, he took a breath. "Okay. So, earlier, when I dropped -" he began, but shook his head, not wanting to start it off that way exactly. He hadn't been prepared to come out when he had the last time, and even less so now, so to say he had no idea what to say was an understatement. "Okay, so, I'm a guy" he began again, wanting to emphasize that more than anything. "I'm, like, 100% dude..." he said again, looking down at the floor, suddenly nervous again despite the simplicity of the explanation, "but I... was born in a girl's body" he continued, still not quite looking at them directly, unsure of what to expect. "I'm an FTM. Female-to-male transgender" he explained, not that he thought that would clear anything up for them. He hadn't even understood what that meant until fairly recently himself. "...Questions?" he said, after a beat, now looking up to survey their reactions. "Anything, go ahead."

Eli wasn't sure exactly what kind of explanation they were in for, but had an open mind about it. Given his own life and circumstances, nothing would truly faze him, at least not to the point of being put-off about Adam. He was a one-of-a-kind sort of guy, a person he knew he'd be absolutely lost without at this point. Even imagining adjusting to Degrassi without him was impossible, and becoming attached to a friend so quickly was new to Eli. They were all signs that this bond was one worth keeping for the long-run, and he knew no matter what Adam had to say, nothing could change that fact. As he began, Eli listened carefully, his gaze drifting to Clare in uncertainty at the mention of the tampon drop earlier in the day. Looking back to Adam once he started again, he allowed him whatever time he needed to explain himself fully, realization slowly dawning on Eli as he continued on. He wasn't the most knowledgeable about people who identified as transgender, or exactly what the title entailed, but each of the quirks he'd noticed about Adam over time were beginning to make sense. He could only imagine that had some sort of impact on his change of schools, and the event from earlier now made perfect sense to him. All the same, he couldn't help the subtle drop of his jaw, taking a moment to process it. "...Cool." he slowly worked out, actually finding the news interesting and worthy of kudos on Adam's part for bringing it up. "How long have you known? Were you born knowing or did it just dawn on you over time?" he asked, hoping to gain a little insight on the topic.

Clare was growing a bit nervous as to what Adam was about to share. But she knew that it had to be something very serious and the fact that he was entrusting them with the information spoke volumes. She didn’t want it to be in vain, trying her best to get him to feel comfortable in the moment. Clare could see that it was no easy feat going based off of his demeanor but she remained patient. The last thing he needed at was what apparently a big move on his part was to be met with an uneasy response. Clare was touched to see that the three of them had reached a point in their new friendship where confiding in one another had become commonplace. Both Adam and Eli had been there for her countless time when she vented to them about her parents’ struggling marriage. Listening and being supportive were simple responsibilities within friendships and Clare was making it a point to extend that kindness to him. Clare looked back sheepishly at Eli, feeling antsy to know what this was all leading up to. It wasn't an average conversation by any means and it left Clare conjuring up silly theories. There wasn't a reason to speculate now that Adam was about to disclose an explanation. Listening on, Clare’s brows furrowed a bit. This wasn’t something that Clare was at all familiar with, admittedly. No matter what, she would always see Adam as just that, her good friend that she had come to know and love in a little over a month. She blinked a few times as she tried to absorb what she was hearing, her eyes never leaving Adam’s face. Eli seemed to have an easier time forming his words than she did but Clare did have a question she wanted to ask. “I…I really don’t mean to sound ignorant or be offensive in any way, honestly. And I’m so sorry if it upsets you but…are you sure that you aren’t a lesbian?” she asked, her face flushing. She wasn’t sure if this would come across as an accusation or an attack of some kind. “This news doesn’t change anything,” she said, needing him to know that their friendship was still very much intact.

Adam watched each of their expressions warily, but his worry about telling them faded more and more by the second -- Eli's "cool" diminishing it almost entirely as a small smile grew on his face. They seemed confused, maybe curious, but neither disgusted nor offended by the idea, which was more than he could say for any other friend he'd ever tried to explain this to, and that was all he needed. "Well, part of me always knew, I guess. As a kid, I hated wearing dresses and having long hair" he addressed Eli's question first, "but I didn't realize that I was a boy until middle school, and didn't know what that really meant until last year" he admitted, remembering the horror of realizing he was growing into a "young woman", and the anger and pain that followed that realization. "I just know" he responded to Clare's question, shrugging, "I mean, it's one thing to like girls, hate dolls and like matchbox cars instead as a kid and everything, but it's something entirely different to grow up thinking everyone made a mistake when they said you were a girl, and hope that you'd just... grow up into a boy someday." He couldn't help but smile when she clarified it didn't change anything, despite her question. "And no, don't worry, I know this is kind of difficult to understand, it took me a while to work it all out myself" he assured her, his smile only growing.

Eli nodded his head, trying to imagine the sort of challenges Adam must have faced growing up. It made him view the boy as all the more brave and resilient, two traits he already associated with him beforehand. It was something Eli never would have guessed beforehand, which was a testament to just how masculine Adam truly was. Nothing ever seemed misplaced or off about him, and learning this fact only made him more special as a person. Eli enjoyed the diversity he could find in others, embracing it as opposed to rejecting it. He'd known that the three of them had forged a close friendship but being able to share facts like this brought it to a whole new level; one that made Eli thankful that somebody could even trust him enough to be so completely candid. Hearing Clare's question, he listened for Adam's reply, putting the pieces together that how a person titled themselves didn't necessarily dictate who they were attracted to. It was bittersweet to hear Adam explaining the difficulties of realizing it over time, Eli unable to even picture how hard life must have been for him. "Like Clare said, this really doesn't change anything. You're still the same awesome, hilarious guy I always thought you were. Now you're just this awesome, hilarious and incredibly brave guy, and I think that's pretty remarkable." he said, smiling until he paused a beat later. "Wait, does this mean I can't let one rip around you anymore? Because that's a deal breaker, I'm sorry but it just is." he joked, giving Adam a mock serious expression.

Clare could feel her heart breaking as Adam began answering their questions. She couldn’t even put herself in Adam’s shoes, unable to picture herself facing something so incredibly difficult. Clare thought Adam was brave for several different reasons. For starters, he had taken a huge plunge in opening up to them. Clare knew that she and Eli weren’t the type of people who would be put off by this or worse, cut ties and end their friendship. All the same, it took guts to be so honest with people about a private matter that was precarious. She could only imagine how rough it must’ve been for him growing up, always feeling like something was amiss. Clare wanted to learn as much as she could in order to be a better friend to him. This was all so new to her but it was an eye opening experience she was glad she could be a part of. She always thought of herself as an understanding person and didn’t have any intentions of letting him down. She was glad Adam hadn’t taken offense to her question. She didn’t mean any malice in it and she was relieved to see that he had understood her. Having the confirmation of his thought process over the years made Clare have a better understanding. She was sure that more questions would come to mind in due time but the lines of communication had been opened, the three of them able to then have a clear and safe dialogue whenever necessary from here on out. Above all else, Clare wanted to ensure that Adam would walk away from this conversation knowing that he had his friends by his side. His life sounded lonely up until now and it made Clare all the more grateful that they all found each other. “You’re so strong,” she remarked, in complete awe of him. "I'm really glad you shared this with us." She chuckled at Eli’s words but nodded in agreement until his last question. “Gross. You had better not test that theory tonight. I’m bunking with you guys and I'd rather not inhale any toxic fumes. Why are you boys so weird?” she chided, smiling all the while.

Eli had expected just about everything the campground had to offer. Between the plethora of outdoorsy activities mapped out for them, (most of which didn't sound the least bit appealing to him) and the scenic environment they'd be staying in for the week, Eli was a mostly willing participant. What made the trip sound all the better was the idea of getting to spend time with Clare throughout it. Before arriving at Degrassi, he never could have anticipated someone like her entering his life, still shocked by how many things she was already changing for him. Despite certain less desirable aspects of school, she was always the silver lining in the halls, or sitting just behind him in English class. They'd gotten to know each other fairly well, and even though Eli hadn't brought himself to fork over bigger details about himself, he knew it was something that might be possible with the girl. She exuded a sense of calm that almost lulled Eli into believing his past truly didn't have to impact his future. Of course, the deluded notion left him the moment she was out of his sight, but the reprieves when she was around were more than enough to sate him. It made Eli all the more eager to spend time with her, liking the way he felt while in her company--for once. After the curfew checks were completed, he let a few more minutes pass, and then slipped his shoes back on. Now more than ever, Eli was feeling lucky for having Adam as his bunk mate, knowing he wouldn't ever snitch on him for sneaking out. Once his boots were laced back up, he gave a quick explanation as to where he was headed, discreetly slipping out shortly after. Earlier in the day Clare had pointed out the bunk her and Alli were sharing, and Eli was sure to commit it to memory. Arriving there, he glimpsed behind him for chaperones, rapping his knuckles softly against the door. Once he was convinced no one had noticed him. Once it swung open, his mouth curled into a wide grin, then giving her a once over. "Get your shoes on, we're going out." he announced, amused by how she was actually ready to follow the rules. "You're getting your first taste of intentional rebellion tonight, Edwards. I promise it'll be worth the risk."

Clare couldn’t contain her excitement for the latest school trip. The prospect of getting time away from Toronto, and more specifically her feuding parents, was a golden opportunity she was quick to make good on. As Clare had learned in no time at all over the last few weeks, the best person to turn to whenever she found herself in need of a distraction was Eli. It still stumped Clare to this day how easily the two of them could fall into sync with each other but she was far above questioning it. Any time spent in Eli’s company could only be a good thing in her eyes. He had proven himself to be a good friend and what was more was the fact that Clare’s feelings for him had gone from the safe nest of platonic to the unsure waters of romantic. She was left most days trying to figure out if his kindness was just that and nothing more but so far she hadn’t made much progress in solving the case. She supposed it didn’t matter too much as they were still getting to know one another. However the other side of her was clamoring for a concrete answer. Clare still wanted to know more about the boy. All Clare had learned so far was stuff on the surface such as his interests and even a bit about his home life as well but nothing of consequence. She could only hope that in time, she would make him comfortable enough to divulge more facts but she knew better than to pry or press. She might’ve still been in the stages of figuring him out but she knew enough to say with certainty that Eli wasn’t the type of person to do something they were against just because someone asked. She’d never met such a strong-willed and, admittedly, stubborn person in her life but it didn’t serve as a deterrent. It had the inverse effect on her, making her all the more intrigued to spend time with him. Their friendship was moving along steadily, so much so that Clare was willing to do away with her good girl nature and actually encourage some ruling breaking for the night. The mere thought alone was thrilling enough all on its own but Clare was curious as to what Eli would have planned for their after-hours excursions. Her hopeless romantic attitude got the best of her, drawing to mind the image of her and Eli taking in the grounds. It was picturesque to say the least, their setting something out of the books and movies she loved to read. Already dressed, she sat anxiously and passed the time until curfew checks by talking to her best friend. It felt like no time at all until she heard knocks against the door, her heartbeat picking up. She quickly moved to the door, beaming as Eli looked her over. “No ‘hello’? How rude,” she teased, rolling her eyes at his greeting. She complied nonetheless, grabbing her bag and stuffing her feet inside of her Converse. Bidding Alli goodnight, she hurried back to Eli and left her bunk. “Are you sure the coast is clear?” she whispered, already paranoid about getting caught.

Eli was ready to get a slew of questions from Clare, all of them ranging from "are you sure we won't get caught?" and "are you sure we're going the right way?" throughout the night. She was a nervous person, prone to bouts of anxiety when the situation she found herself in was unpredictable. Eli didn't have to know her long at all to gather that, but he wanted to coax her out of her shell a bit tonight. The kind of setting they could take in while camping was nothing they could view from Toronto, far too many cars and streetlights around to get a genuine feel for the environment. In that way, getting an escape from the city was refreshing. His plans for their night of rule breaking were pretty tame in comparison to the things he imagined everyone else would be doing, but it was right up Clare's alley. He knew star gazing in and of itself held a romantic connotation, one that he hoped would translate silently and discreetly to Clare. He didn't have it in him to be vocal about his feelings the way he knew other people would. The version of himself that he was a year or two prior would have been able to navigate the world of flirtation seamlessly, unafraid to become close to another person. But at this point, Eli was reluctant to allow himself even a little leeway in getting too close to Clare. Friendship was exactly what he needed, and while it didn't satisfy the extent of his feelings for her at all, he knew it was all that he could offer in good conscience. That didn't change the fact that he wanted to impress the girl whenever possible, always going to the extra mile to make her flustered or grab her attention. He waited for Clare to get herself ready and then watched her shut the door, still keeping a close eye on their surroundings. Getting caught on his own wouldn't be a catastrophe, but his concern was getting Clare involved in the mess. For someone as paranoid as her, it wouldn't help his cause to give her reason for her paranoia. "As long as you keep your voice down and walk quickly, yes." he replied in a hushed voice, making sure that the girl was keeping up with him as he led them towards the woods. "I noticed a clearing when we were on the bus; all the trees kind of scatter out and we'll have a nice view of the sky." he explained, trying to keep her mind preoccupied while they hurried towards their destination. "I'm thinking the later it gets, the better the chances we have of not getting caught since everyone's going to be passed out." he commented, hoping she'd be willing to stay out for a good chunk of the night with each other. Once he felt confident that they were out of eyesight and earshot, Eli gradually slowed his pace, shifting his attention fully to Clare. "I'm thinking someone didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Is my shoulder really that comfortable?" he teased, referring back to their bus ride. He knew it hadn't been intentional that Clare ended up passing out and resting her head against him, but truth be told, Eli didn't have a single complaint about the turn of events. He was still reveling in the light pressure of her head resting against him, and the scent of her shampoo wafting in his direction during the majority of the ride.

Clare didn’t want to put a damper on the evening even though this was truly taking a step outside of her comfort zone. She’d always been the type of person to abide by the rules and stay out of trouble whereas Eli was the polar opposite of that. It wasn’t surprising at all to Clare as she could rattle off an entire list of ways in which the two differed from one another. But it was because of that trait in their friendship that made them work so perfectly. Clare enjoyed the way they balanced each other out and also helped the other to branch out. Clare would have been content in her old ways, so used to her normal routine. Eli’s entrance in her life had shaken things up on the very first day. That had been indication enough that she was in store for something new. Eli hadn’t disappointed at all in that department, all too eager it seemed to break Clare’s shell and get her to experience new things. She could appreciate the fact that he never pressured or rushed her, always willing to go at her pace but still give a positive push if she needed it. In turn, she was able to help him dial back and reason with him on different matters. It was exactly what a friendship should be: a harmonious threading of give and take. Clare felt honored to know that she was having an impact on his life, just as he’d been doing with her. It fueled her desire to see where things between them could lead to but making those tentative steps instead of jumping the gun was the tactic she knew would be the wisest. Clare’s experience with guys was truly limited, having only dated one guy. Even in that instance, she had a lot to learn. But a year could change everything, as she was now discovering. She hadn’t accounted for Eli but she couldn’t have been more grateful that their paths crossed the way it did. The timing felt surreal and even though their start was a bit bumpy, they’d managed to put their days of butting heads over English essays to rest. The alternative was much preferred; a real friendship that Clare was truly dependent on. Eli acted as an ear to listen, always offer her words of encouragement whenever she got to venting about her parents. Or on the other hand, he never failed to come up with a fun way to kill a few hours. She trusted Eli well enough to go wandering unattended in the woods at night. If he proved anything over the last few weeks it was that he always had her best interests at heart. She merely nodded, falling into line closely behind him. Clare smiled warmly at his next set of words. The thought of such a romantic set up made her wonder if it was intentional or perhaps a default outing. Regardless, she was now guaranteed uninterrupted time with him. “I don’t mind staying out late,” she assured quietly. She kept her steps stealthy, listening to make sure they were in fact the only ones around. Clare was brought up short, her cheeks heating up. She was glad it was dark outside or else he would be able to see just how profusely she was blushing. “Oh, um, yeah. I-I was up all night talking to Alli. Time sort of ran away from us. I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to turn you into a human pillow but, to answer your question, yes it is. You’re quite comfy,” she laughed. Clare had slept peacefully on the bus ride, her head somehow finding a spot on Eli’s shoulder for God only knew how long. Despite the embarrassment she was feeling now, Clare didn’t regret it— only the fact that it wasn’t something she could do consciously. 

Eli smiled to himself at her words, already excited at the prospect of spending more than just a couple hours in her company. Eli wasn't sure if it was clear to the girl just how much he got out of their time spent together. He knew he came off as somewhat detached or even frigid to others, and it suited him just fine. Making friends wasn't his top priority while at school, but he couldn't help hanging on every word Clare said. Try as he might to disguise it behind friendly interest, he felt far more invested in the girl than he was willing to admit aloud. "I wasn't complaining at all." he assured her after listening to her stammered explanation. It was the kind of proximity he found himself craving every time they were together, but since it was accidental on Clare's part, Eli found himself doubting whether it meant much at all. All the same, he could say without a doubt that it had been the most enjoyable bus ride he'd ever been on. Just having her so close to him was enough to tune out every other rider on the bus, the only thing he could focus on being the easy rise and fall of her breaths as she rested against him. The way Clare slept so peacefully was something he envied, but more than that, he was flattered that she felt so safe around him that she didn't even hesitate. He certainly didn't have that kind of faith in himself, and even if it was ill-advised in his opinion, he didn't have it in him to tell Clare to get her distance. Whatever she saw in him, she seemed resolute about sticking to it. "My shoulder is yours whenever you want it." he offered, surprising himself with how fluidly the phrase left him. It went against his sense of logic to give her an invitation to get close to him, but Eli simply couldn't help himself. "As long as you don't drool this time around. My jacket was waterlogged by the time you were through with it." he said in jest, nudging against her playfully. "Kidding, seriously kidding." Eli followed up, noticing that the trees were beginning to lessen in abundance as they wandered on. "We got here without dying or getting caught. You can let out that breath you've been holding since we left, Clare." Bringing them out further into the clearing, he waited until he found a spacious enough area, stopping in his tracks once he was satisfied. "Alright, can I see that blanket you brought?" Eli requested, grabbing it from her once it was removed from her bag. Even in the darkness that enshrouded them, the moon overhead offered enough light for him to make out the pastel shade of the blanket. "I feel like you grabbed this specific blanket to spite me." he accused, scowling for added effect as he laid it out on the ground. Only when he seated himself on it did he realize there was a small benefit, noticing that the material was ridiculously soft.

Clare would have willingly stayed with Eli for however long he asked of her. She found herself longing for his company more and more each day, her crush only deepening and taking on a life of its own. Even if Clare had the capability to control it, she wouldn’t opt to. After how torn up she had been in her freshman year with her then boyfriend leaving for her for someone she considered to be a friend, she wasn’t so sure that her sophomore year would offer much. It was a pleasant surprise to say the least. Eli was a special brand of person in her eyes, never fitting a mold nor doing what she would expect of him. Clare wondered about the journey that led him to Degrassi. She was curious about the things he’d gone through that shaped him into this closed off person. Around just about everyone at school, he was sure to keep his distance but Clare was thankful that, alongside their friend Adam, she managed to carve out a place in his life. She could discern that it was important one but the full extent still remained a mystery. Clare could accept it for what it was, just glad that of all the people that Eli could befriend, she was among that list. Clare felt her heart lurch in her chest at his reply, so taken aback that she wasn’t sure what to say. Eli always left her speechless which was no easy task seeing as though Clare always had a lot on her mind. Did he truly not mind for the reasons she was hoping he didn’t or was it merely not an inconvenience to him? She wouldn’t dare ask for further clarification, knowing that if she did it would probably come across as suspicious. Clare was sure she wasn’t doing too good of a job playing it cool around Eli but anything out of norm would surely tip him off. She smiled at the offer, ready to accept it at once. “I guess this means you’ll have to sit with me on the ride home as well then,” she said nonchalantly. Her cool façade quickly faded a moment later as sheer horror seeped in. She sighed audibly and whacked him gently on the arm. “So not funny! I know I don’t drool but still. It would be my luck that I’d go and slobber over you,” she grumbled. It was a beautiful night, albeit a bit chilly. Clare found herself regretting just going with a hoodie for the night and wished she hadn’t underestimated how breezy it could get at night. Pushing the thought from mind, she marched forward, curious as to how much further they had to go. Judging by the surrounding trees, they couldn’t have been far off at all. Letting out a breath dramatically, she let out an airy laugh, feeling some of the pressure loosening up now that she knew for sure they had made it unscathed. Stepping into the clearing, Clare looked up for a moment at sky before swinging her bag off her shoulder and extracting the blanket she’d brought along. She smirked as she tossed it to him, already anticipating the inevitable commentary. “It was the warmest and softest blanket I had,” she said. “You’ll learn to love it in no time, despite the color.” Taking a seat beside him, Clare pulled her legs in against her body and wrapped her arms around them. She shivered just bit, turning her attention to him. “I’m glad you found this spot. It’s perfect,” she remarked, once again looking at the clear shot of the moon. “I’m also really glad you invited me out tonight. This is nice.”

Eli couldn't even believe his own thought process concerning the camping trip, but somehow it had gone from utter reluctance to eager elation in almost no time at all. If it meant getting to have Clare near him, both physically and proverbially, then the pros most certainly would outweigh the cons for the week. There was a sort of energy that existed between him and Clare, and for Eli, he would call it undeniably palpable. It started from the moment they'd met, and even with the mild bump they'd encountered after, it wasn't all that difficult to get back on track. It was making Eli eat his words from just a couple months prior, swearing to himself that he'd never let himself grow romantically invested in another person. For someone like him, his presence in the life of others was only an omen for bad things to come. It might have been a dramatic conclusion to reach but given the repercussions of his last romantic entanglement, they didn't feel like an exaggeration at all. Clare was simply too good of a person to tamper with, her genuine wholesomeness making Eli all the more concerned with where their friendship was headed. She had him wrapped very snugly around her finger in under a month, a feat he couldn't see anyone else being able to pull off. For such a meek and mild girl, she had a strong pull to her personality. He wondered if she even realized just how alluring she was but he didn't have a choice but to keep mum about it. "I think saying I'll 'love' it is erring on the side of wishful thinking." he rebutted, dragging his fingertips over the soft surface. "I guess it's comfortable." he relented begrudgingly, only muttering the phrase under his breath. Just like with everything, Clare was always right, be it about blankets or about his own tendencies. She knew him better than most people would so early on, even if she still tried to get more facts out of him. As she took her seat beside him, Eli took note of the way her body trembled with the chilly wind, only waiting long enough for her to finish her sentence before he was shrugging off his own jacket. Without giving her a chance to dispute it, he draped the garment over her shoulders, making sure it kept as much of the breeze out as possible. "I'm glad I invited you out too, I had a feeling you'd enjoy this." he replied, smiling softly at her. "The jacket looks ten times better on you than it does on me, by the way. I don't know why you've been wearing denim when you could have been donning leather this entire time." he remarked humorously, keeping quiet about how much he really did like how his jacket looked on the girl.

Clare didn’t want to get too carried away but her over-active imagination had a tendency to take on a life of its own. She couldn’t control how often Eli would spring up in her thoughts but she was past the point of caring to curb the habit. Her goal going into grade ten was to have a clean slate, to do away with all the drama of the year before, and to create new memories to erase all the bad that had plagued the end of the school year. She came back to Degrassi with a new look, shedding her long locks and glasses. Clare felt like a new person, at least her appearances would suggest so. But underneath it all, she was the same imaginative girl who was optimistic about life and what it would bring for her. This was the beginning of a new chapter in her life and without even trying, Clare had stumbled across a male lead. She knew that life wasn’t like the young adult books she favored but if it could somehow manage to have important similarities, Clare would gladly accept. What she wanted above all else was a happy ending. The only thing that concerned her was the space between point A and point B. The unknown was terrifying but having Eli beside her was a comfort. In just one month he worked his way into her heart though she feared saying it aloud to him. There was still a huge question mark dangling above whether or not he returned the feelings that she felt. If she were a braver person, she would have sucked it up and bitten the bullet but the fear of ruining a good thing kept her mouth zipped up tight. Losing him as a friend wouldn’t have been worth the risk. She was positive that Eli would be polite enough if he didn’t like her back and try to maintain their friendship. But another rejection wouldn’t have bode well at all for her confidence. She’d already experienced her first heartbreak and putting herself up potentially on a chopping block was one route she wanted to avoid for as long as possible. Clare recognized that what they both needed was a friend, someone that they could feel safe with. If Clare could be nothing else to Eli, she would be at ease knowing that she was a soft place for him to land. She had always been a helpful person, never failing to extend a hand to those in need. Clare liked to think that she stood a chance of rubbing off on Eli and getting him to soften some of his edges. Around her, however, he was a slightly altered version of what everyone else got to see. His guard was never down completely but Clare could see the real him peeking through. “Next time we do something like this, you get to pick the blanket then, how’s that?” She smiled triumphantly as he relented, knowing it all but killed him to admit to that fact. Clare was picking up on a lot about him and didn’t shy away from showing it. Clare’s focus was above her, preventing her from seeing Eli’s move until his jacket was around her shoulders. “Are you sure you don’t want to keep it? You’re going to be cold,” she said, not even realizing the irony in her words. At his compliment she smiled, shifting to slip her arms through the sleeves. “I don’t think I’m cool enough to sport a leather jacket regularly. And if you ask me, I think it looks really, really good on you,” she said, hoping her attempt at flirting didn’t come across as weird. She wasn’t boy savvy like Alli who would have been charming a boy senseless right about now where Clare was just trying to get her bearings. Clare breathed in, the scent on his jacket almost overwhelming in the best way. To think that he found her appealing in it was almost too good to be true, never mind the gesture itself. Biting her lip, she looked him in the eyes, trying to think of something to say and settling on what she really wanted to know. “Do you think…maybe you could tell me more about yourself?” she asked.

Eli was attempting to view this one night as an isolated event. It didn't matter what had happened an hour ago, and it didn't have to matter what would happen right after he parted ways with Clare for the night. So often, Eli left the present escape him because he was either guilting himself over the past or panicking over the future. The in-between hardly had a place in his mindset, constantly caught up in the other extremes. It was something he barely picked up on himself doing until Clare slowed him down, unknowingly granting him a chance to reside comfortably in the present moment. What seemed as easy as breathing was a task and a half for Eli, forever feeling vulnerable when his guard wasn't up. Around her, a level of wariness still existed but it was nothing in comparison to the blockade he kept between him and the rest of the world. Eli could admit to himself that it had become a lonely way to live for a time, but it seemed like the only way. Even with Clare, he knew it to be the better option but the curly haired girl would have none of it, and he was secretly grateful for the fact. If not for things like Adam's friendship and her gentle coaxing, he knew adjusting at a school like Degrassi would have been impossible. It was a huge debt he wasn't sure he could ever repay, but hoped to show his gratitude whenever possible. "Knowing me, I'd forget the blanket entirely." he grumbled with mock irritation, the smile on his face betraying the facade. "I'll just leave that to you. You're more on task than I'll ever be." Hearing her weak refusal of the jacket, Eli waved his hand dismissively. "I don't get cold. I only wear the jacket to complete the badass look." he insisted, smirking over at her. "You're the one shivering, keep it on." He watched her slip her arms into the sleeves, chuckling softly at how her hands didn't quite reach the bottom of them. "I'm going to get you a leather jacket that fits you and you'll see just how great you look in it." he mused, subtly drawing in a breath at the mere mental image of it. Her compliment didn't go unnoticed, Eli's brows lifting slightly at how forward it was. She might not have even meant it to sound flirtatious, but he was hoping against hope that that had been her intent. "Duly noted, I'll be wearing it more often in that case." he promised, his lips turning upwards into a smirk. As they maintained eye contact, he couldn't help noticing a stray curl settled just over her cheek, the impulse to tuck it behind her ear an overwhelming one. Eli kept his eyes fixed on hers, working up the nerve to make a move until her next words threw him off course. He hadn't even realized how hard his heart was pounding until he tried to recover from it, attempting to disguise his mild disappointment in himself. Registering her question, Eli sputtered out a short laugh, rolling his eyes as he decided to lie back against the blanket. Keeping his legs up, he propped one arm behind his head, resigning himself to focusing on the sky so he wouldn't ponder touching her again--or worse--kissing her. "What do you want to know?"

Clare was already looking forward to the next time she and Eli would be able to hang out like this. As much as she was a stickler for the rules personally, she could see that there were definite advantages or perks to bending them every now and then. If it meant that she could have a night out under the stars with the boy she was really attracted to, Clare would actually take whatever repercussion would befall them if they were to get caught. Clare safely assumed that Eli probably lost count of the amount of times he defied the rules so she had faith that he was practiced enough to know how to go about not getting caught. And truthfully, there was a sense of adrenaline coursing through her veins now though she was sure it was also due in part to the fact that she was sitting beside Eli. The emotions that he was able to evoke from her without even putting forth any effort in doing so was almost embarrassing to her. Luckily he was none the wiser, completely oblivious it seemed to the fact that she was pining after him. She hoped that one day she would be confident enough to speak up. In the meantime, she was biding her time and playing it safe. It might not have been the most exciting route or the one that yielded the answers she was looking for but it kept their friendship alive. Clare couldn’t imagine her life without Eli now, his role so crucial in getting her into a better place. Clare didn’t know what Eli had gone through prior to come to Degrassi, if he faced any trying hardships but he had come into her life at a time when she was struggling with her own. Problems in her parents’ marriage might have been too sticky a situation for other people to feel comfortable handling, especially so early on in a friendship but Eli wasn’t put off by that. It made him all the more remarkable in her eyes, leaving her to wonder how she got so lucky to have such a fantastic new addition to her life. She wanted to be able to reciprocate however possible. So far that simple meant being his friend and it was a job Clare took very seriously. She was honored that she was one of the people Eli was allowing in. She’d never met someone with their walls built so high and it begged the question of what he was fighting so hard to keep out. No matter how many times Eli tried telling her that his life story wasn’t an interesting one or worth mentioning, Clare begged to differ. By nature she was inquisitive and with the way Eli presented himself, Clare felt compelled to find out more. “It pays to be on top of things,” she quipped, her expression smug but teasing. It was a sweet move on his part to give her his jacket, once more leaving Clare’s mind to race. It was a bit big on her but she liked it that way, being embraced by the outwear. “Well, it works, I must say.” She wasn’t sure where this lack of a filter was coming from but decided to just go with it. “Thank you; I really appreciate it.” Laughing, she shook her head. “If you insist but I still think you’re crazy.” Clare had to wonder if Eli knew just how heart stopping his trademark smirk was, finding that it left her momentarily stunned. It didn’t help to stare him directly in the eyes shortly thereafter. His eyes were intense as always but somehow there was an undeniable softness to it that made her breathless. And just like that the moment was over, Clare blinking as she snapped back to reality as he laughed. She looked over at him, her head tilted to one side as she grappled over whether or not to lie down next to him. Clare shrugged meekly, feeling a bit foolish for her inquiry. “Anything you’re willing to share; I’m not picky. I just…want to know you better is all,” she murmured. Pulling the sleeves of the jacket over her hands, Clare knew she had to act fast before she lost her nerve. Leaning back, she settled in beside him, training her eyes up at the sky as well. “I’ve got all night, Goldfish. Begin.”

Eli couldn't help internally kicking himself for missing a prime opportunity to at least make a mildly affectionate move, one that would show that he felt some sort of spark between them. Whether it would have escalated to more or not, Eli couldn't be sure, but that was hardly his concern. The feeling he couldn't shake was the urge to make some sort of contact with her, even the most fleeting kind like tucking a curl away. She had every nerve in his body reacting acutely to each move she made, and it made it all the more difficult to keep himself from getting closer to her. It wasn't every day that Eli felt such a strong attraction to any one person. It set Clare apart immediately, and only worsened once Eli realized that the pull intensified with each time they hung out. This wasn't a crush he could simply ignore and work out of his system. Disregarding it wasn't an option, and even if it had been, he knew better than to believe he even possessed that kind of willpower. Around Clare, he felt like a person riddled with puppy love; absorbed in every facet to her and hanging on her every word. More often than not, Eli was mocking himself for how sappy he could get about the girl. Her genuine curiosity regarding his life story was an unrelenting thing, a recurring topic between them. As nice as it felt to have someone asking simply because they cared and not because they were trying to wade through exaggerated rumors, it still scared Eli to discuss. One false move could be enough to scare Clare off. Even if that turnout would ultimately be in her best interest, Eli felt too selfish to take the risk. Half the time, he didn't even like considering the past year, considering it the most trying he'd endured yet. If he was telling the truth without filtering a single thing, it would have come out as a simple "my life fell apart a short while ago and it's pretty remarkable that I'm even lying here next to you, explaining all of this." But it was never so simple, and Eli couldn't find it in himself to spit out such a blunt and gut-wrenching statement. People considered him detached and morbid, but he didn't want anyone to think there was actually something wrong with him--something that extended far beyond having a penchant for mischief. Her request was reasonable enough, and given how many times she'd made it, Eli figured it would be plain old rude to shrug it off yet again. Once she reclined back against the blanket as well, he felt a sense of ease sweep over him at their even keel, coaxing him just enough that he could try and pull some facts out for her. "Uhhh," he murmured at first, dragging out the syllable as he wracked his mind for something to start with. "I went to Bardell before this." he stated evenly, despite the fact that even the mention of the school sent a small shiver prickling up his spine. "I had an even harder time fitting in there than I do here, as hard as that might be to imagine." he joked, knowing it was a bit of a stab at his own expense. "Fitz might be in a league of his own in the way of tormenting people, but the kids at Bardell were like mini versions of him. About a handful of them. I was one of their main targets." he explained, drumming his fingertips against the blanket. "That's part of the reason why I switched districts. Cece suggested moving entirely but I--" he paused, realizing he couldn't and wouldn't delve into the reasoning for wanting to stay put. "It would have been a huge hassle that we wouldn't have been able to afford. I didn't mind having to drive a little farther to get to Degrassi," he explained, wondering if he should continue on or if he'd given enough detail about himself.

Clare couldn’t shake the pull Eli had over her, almost as if she was in under a spell of some kind. She didn’t care to come out of the trance-like state, instead encouraging it to see just how far it could go. In moments such as their shared glance, it was all Clare could do to stop herself from getting attached to the idea that Eli liked her back. But as soon as she began putting some sort of stock into it, a tide would shift and things between them would feel light again. She wanted so desperately for the night to end with something happening between them; whether it be holding hands or, in an extreme case, a kiss. The latter was improbable but that didn’t stop Clare from thinking about it. Each time he smiled or talked, Clare would take notice of his lips and quickly reprimand herself. If she stood a chance of getting out of this evening without blowing her cover, she had to keep herself in line. It was easier said than done, their current location so romantic and ideal that Clare knew anyone in her shoes would be of the same mind. But they were in too early of a stage in their friendship to go about making such big changes. For now she would have to stick with the musing of what it would be like to kiss him and just hope that one day she would actually know for certain. It was far more frustrating to be around him at times than Clare had been anticipating but it was only due to her impatience. She couldn’t hold off on asking him constantly to share more about himself or wish that things between them would escalate at some point. Clare only had two real crushes prior to Eli—not enough in the grand scheme of things but a fair number to compare. Her feelings for Eli were different than both those cases though she couldn’t quite explain why. Maybe it was because Eli was like a breath of fresh air to her, so far off the beaten path that he was an endless well of uncertainty to her. Clare liked the mystery just as much as it drove her crazy. All the same, it sparked interest and that was enough to keep Clare hanging onto the edge of her seat each time they hung out. She was completely immersed in all he had to say, even if it wasn’t as much as she would have liked to know. The cloak and dagger routine only increased her desire to quell her curiosity and she was glad that tonight seemed to be the night that he was finally going to cave. Clare was ready to hear anything, even if it might have seemed insignificant. It would mean one more step taken in fully understanding each other. They were doing well in that respect so far but it was a theme Clare wanted to keep going. If she could make the boy relaxed enough in this secluded environment, she was hopeful that it’d be enough to get him to truly divulge. Clare turned her head to look at him, trying her best to keep her expression even although inside she was chomping at the bit. At long last, after weeks of posing the same question, he was taking her out of her misery and parting with some facts. She frowned as he spoke, her heart sinking to the pit of her stomach. She hated the fact that Eli was getting picked on at school as it was but learning just how commonplace and actually how much worse he had it at his old school was devastating. Clare could admit that Eli was a troublemaker but she certainly did not believe that he should have been bullied so regularly or at all, for that matter. As she was hanging onto his every word, Clare noticed that he indicated that there was more to the story of why he transferred but made a mental note of it instead of asking him to press forward on that. Turning on her side, she propped her elbow, her hand holding up the side of her head. “I’m really sorry you had to go through that…and that Degrassi isn’t much better,” she said quietly. “You wouldn’t happen to be feeling more gracious tonight, do you? I’d love to hear more, if that’s alright.” Clare wondered when she would push too far but as of right now, she figured it was best to strike while the iron was hot.

Eli shook his head, dismissing the apology even though he did appreciate it. There were reasons he didn't share these facts with others, among them his reluctance to accept pity and how little he wished to rehash any of it. At times, he knew that leaving Bardell was just escaping his troubles but for the sake of his sanity, making a new start was necessary. He was heavily editing the truth in this version he was giving to Clare, taking out chunks of it that would just leave him far too vulnerable. Bullying had been an issue for him from middle school up through grade ten, but it hadn't escalated so much that it caused him to up and go. Only a certain event stirred up enough controversy in the halls of his school that he felt suffocated by the constant inquiries and accusations. At times, he regretted not taking his parents up on the offer to move farther, if only to stand a better chance at having a clean slate. Degrassi and Bardell were only so far from each other and it wasn't unlikely that at some point, word would travel. His only chance was to hope against it and shoot down any rumors if they came his way, in an attempt to keep his past locked up where it belonged. Even if he managed to escape the burden at school, being home was still a challenge in and of itself, his room acting as something of a shrine to Julia. He'd never gotten rid of her belongings, which wouldn't have been an issue if he hadn't begun collecting everything else as well. It was a mindset he couldn't explain away in a reasonable manner, knowing that some of his habits and rituals were erring on the irrational side. But to Eli, if keeping things stocked up in his room was what it took to keep everyone he loved safe, then it was a small price to pay. No one else had to witness the mess his room had become, keeping it locked at all times when he wasn't there to watch over it. These weren't facets of his life he would readily share with Clare, but he was genuinely doing his best to tell the other, less intense details that surrounded it. From his peripheral vision he could see the girl turning on her side to face him, his heartbeat picking up yet again at how close she was to him. At her request for more, he rolled his eyes with a small smile but didn't refuse, staying quiet a few moments longer while he thought of more to say. He knew all too well that it wasn't the harmless facts Clare wanted to know, but the ones he consciously worked to keep from other people. She wanted to know what made him tick, and what always had him so lost in his own thoughts. "I've had one girlfriend before." he started quietly, wetting his lips before he continued on. "I know a lot of people have had multiple exes or whatever by the time they're in grade eleven, but it's just been one for me. I wasn't all that interested in dating before her." Suddenly feeling his throat going dry, he swallowed and then shifted a bit in his spot, mild discomfort spreading through his body. It was really all the detail about Julia that he was willing to give, so he opted to change the topic soon after. "You're the first girl I've ever met that was far too good for me, but wanted to be friends anyway." he blurted, laughing at himself a second later. "I'm this...walking train wreck and you're literally the most graceful, understanding person I've met in my life. And I know I don't deserve any of the time you've given me, but I don't ever want to have to part with it." Readjusting his position, Eli turned onto his side, facing Clare with only a little bit of distance separating them. "You make me feel like the kind of person I want to be. I like that."

Clare didn’t like to see others in pain, especially those she cared about. In a little over a month, Eli had become one of the people she couldn’t let go of. Their friendship blossomed so quickly, the two of them carving out a special place in each other’s lives. Clare prided herself on being a good friend and a compassionate person. Hearing Eli recount what his life was like at his old school made her grateful that he had gotten the change in setting that he needed. It might not have been perfect, especially considering the feud with Fitz that Eli had picked up very early on in his arrival at school. But one bully was a far better deal than the unknown amount he had to put up with at Bardell. She didn’t understand why people had to be mean spirited. No matter what someone was going through, Clare never believed that violence was somehow the answer. She could see now why Eli had a hard time backing down to Fitz. It was just ingrained in him to protect himself at whatever costs. Even still, it didn’t sit well with Clare but at least now she’d gotten some background on the situation. There was always a catalyst behind someone’s movements and with the way Eli varied from everyone else, she wanted to getting the full story. Clare was glad that he was now so forthcoming with information. It was all very telling and explained a lot that had, until now, been all speculation. Clare wasn’t the type of person that liked to go off assumptions, far preferring to have all or most of the facts before forming a decision. It was unsettling to find out that he’d been through so much in the last year alone and made her want to strive even harder to make up for the upsets he had to face. From the sound of things, friends weren’t a basic that he had. Now she and Adam were filling that void and it brought a sense of relief in the midst of it all to know that he now had people he could turn to. Adam was better at fighting alongside with him but in her own way, Clare played a very active role as his friend. It wouldn’t have been possible for her to erase his past but if she could take the steps needed in order to make the present and future better for him, Clare would do so without question. Today was only day one of learning more and Clare hoped that there would be plenty more to come. She enjoyed being around Eli, getting lost in the sound of his voice and being content with the fact that they were squeezing in quality time together. She knew that there were plenty more things he could be doing now, all more exciting and fun. But he chose her to hang out with specifically and that meant more than she could ever say. She smiled seeing him roll his eyes but knew that he would indulge her. Waiting patiently as he mulled over his thoughts, Clare took in the view of his profile. It would have been impossible not to note just how attractive he was from the bow shaped lips to his perfect nose. It made Clare’s heart ache but she kept her observations to herself. Clare wasn’t sure what she was expecting him to share next but his dating history hadn’t been an option. This particular topic did intrigue her but she kept her words neutral. “Everyone seems to think dating a ton of people is best route but if you find one person you click with, I think that's great. But to each their own. It’s best to wait until you find the right fit." She wondered what Eli’s ex was like but didn’t ask, nor would she have gotten the chance to now that he changed the subject. Her eyes widened at his confession, so surprised by how candid he was. “I’m not too good for you and I have absolutely no intentions of letting you go.” Clare let out a breath as he faced her, his words making her head spin. Without even thinking, her free hand was rising and soon settled on his cheek, her thumb brushing against his cheekbone. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You don’t give yourself enough credit, Eli. You’re capable of so much more than you think.” 

Eli arrived at the bookstore just a little earlier than necessary, taking the opportunity to get himself together before Clare arrived. As of yet, they hadn't spent time together outside of school much, and he wanted to make an impression for their first go at it. Though their personalities differed in more ways than they were similar, one of the areas of overlap was a love for literature. He was grateful for the fact that Clare had invited him along in the first place, knowing that he wouldn't have been so bold as to ask about coming along on his own—even though he wanted to. Things were still new with her and in the aftermath of Sadie Hawkins, Eli couldn't be sure what was reasonable and what might be considered overstepping. Clare's mild, kind, and sometimes sensitive personality was such a contrast from his own that his fear was to offend her. The fact that she even decided to speak to him at all after the fight was a source of encouragement for him, but Eli was deadset on never putting the girl in a position like that again. Even if it meant feigning complete serenity within his own life, Eli deemed it worthwhile in order to get to know her better. As he spotted the girl walking down the street, he stuffed his hands in his pockets nervously, already intimidated by just how lovely she could be from afar. Clare was the embodiment of everything good and right in the world in his eyes; the epitome of a genuinely amazing individual. Eli had always considered himself the antithesis of that, but around Clare, it was as if she was coaxing out a different side of him. The snark and guarded nature remained, but he felt more capable of simply having a good time. Perhaps it shouldn't have been a foreign concept to the boy but in the recent weeks and months, being happy just wasn't a feasible goal. As she approached, he flashed her a smile in greeting, taking a moment to look over her outfit. “Jesus must have been flattered that you dressed up so nicely for him.” he commented, assuming that she'd just come from church before arriving there. It was the best he could do to cover up his own compliment within the statement, inwardly dumbfounded by how pretty the girl always was. “How's your day been so far?” he asked conversationally, moving to hold the door open for her. Once he stepped inside, Eli breathed in the scent of the establishment, fondness coursing through him at the familiarity of it. “This is my little safe haven.” he said, closing the door behind them and nodding to the owner at the counter. “I'm pretty sure it'll become one of yours too. This place has just about everything you could want from a bookstore.”

Clare clicked her tongue impatiently against the roof of her mouth. It wasn’t like her to be late for anything but Sunday service had run a bit longer than she anticipated. It didn’t leave her with any time to go back home change out of her outfit. Meeting with Eli was meant to be a casual thing and now she was stuck in a formal dress. Though for a moment, Clare beamed at the thought. Her crush on Eli had been born on its own accord from the second their two worlds collided. Clare couldn’t deny that the mysterious boy had become a constant in her thoughts as of late. Whether that was ill-advised or not, Clare couldn’t stop herself from daydreaming at times. It was a silly, hopeless crush as she was sure the raven haired boy didn’t see her in the same light. To him, she was just his classmate, an unwilling English partner at the start though the two had been able to make amends. Getting off on the wrong foot had been both their faults as neither of them thought the other could offer much to improve their writing. As it were, Ms. Dawes clearly knew more than they did. Over the last few weeks, they’d gone from butting heads and trading quips to actually becoming friends. It was a place of comfort for Clare, especially in the midst of all her troubles at home. When she spoke to Eli, it became like an escape for her. She could vent out all her frustrations over her parents or simply talk about anything else to take her mind off things. While he didn’t like to own up to it, Clare could see that underneath his tough exterior, Eli was a bit of a softie with a good heart. He came across like a problem that needed to be solved, a question that required a thorough search for the answer. It might not have been his intention but Clare’s inquisitive nature won out each and every time. She wanted to know as much about the boy as humanly possible. Clare could see early on that it wouldn’t be an easy feat as he was heavily guarded and private. Nonetheless, she was able to peel back some of his layers and grow a bit closer to him. She could only hope it wasn’t one sided but as he spoke every now and then of being glad to have her around, Clare felt more secure that she wasn’t the only one feeling that way. To think he had a crush on her as well was a bit optimistic but it hardly mattered now as what Clare needed most was a friend she could count on. Hurrying along the street, Clare glanced at her wristwatch seeing that she had a few minutes to spare. Her rushing had paid off and as she headed up the block to the bookstore Eli had mentioned, she could see him in the distance. The sight made a flurry of butterflies go off in her stomach and his opening statement only enhanced the sensation. It was just like Eli to have something smart to say but she could recognize the clear compliment. “I’m glad you approve. Here’s hoping he did too,” she laughed. She smiled demurely in thanks as he got the door for her, appreciative of the gesture. “In a word? Long. But it’s been good so far and this will make it better,” she said peering up at the surrounding books. “Oh my, I can see why you like here so much,” she remarked, her eyes drinking up everything before her. “Where to first? This is your turf so your rules.”

Eli had trouble imagining Clare as person with problems at home, knowing that stereotypically, he would seem like the kind of person who was more likely of having them. Clare was well-adjusted, always on good behavior and an ideal daughter for any family. But the problem didn't lie with her when arguments in her household broke out, her parents instead being the catalysts for trouble. Eli could see from miles away that their marriage was at risk, the possibility of a divorce looming threateningly overhead. But Clare herself hadn't reached that realization, still fixed on the idea of them mending fences. It might not have been likely, but Eli knew that nothing was impossible. He kept his mouth shut about his concerns surrounding the situation, and instead worked to keep Clare's head above water. What she needed most was someone to listen and encourage her, the girl lacking that within her own family. If he could ease the tension or lessen the burden at all, Eli would do everything in his power to help. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like to grow invested enough in a person that a genuine concern for them began forming under the surface, but Clare made it impossible to feel anything but. He couldn't snap his fingers and remedy the entire situation, but he could offer her a form of escape within a new setting. “No complaints there then.” he replied, glad for the fact that WWIII hadn't broken out in her house in the morning. “Right? It's a good combination of cozy and full of variety.” he remarked, glancing over his favorite sections before turning to Clare. “We're going to make this a little interesting, turn it into a game.” Reaching into his pocket, he extracted a blank sheet of paper he'd folded up and taken along beforehand, and two pens. Tearing the paper in half, he handed one part to Clare and kept the other for himself. “I could easily just show you each section, but that would get boring after a while. So instead, we're going to do a scavenger hunt.” he said, handing her the second pen. “Pick five words, any five words and write them down. I'll have to find a book or object, or anything like that in the store that I think of when I read that word. And then I'll do the same and give you five words to go hunting for. When we're done, we bring the things back to a table and share our finds. Sound good?”

Clare was weighed down with the burdens of her family, constantly struggling to find something stable as her parents fought often. She wasn’t sure what could possibly have brought on this rift between the two people who were once so in love. Whatever the problem might’ve been, Clare prayed day in and day out that it would eventually work itself out or that her parents would be proactive enough to fix it. So far they both restored to bickering as if trading snide remarks would do anything to help their situation. It was frustrating to Clare who thought they would be mature enough to handle matters accordingly. Her parents came across more like the teenagers in the house than her these days. Clare couldn’t afford the thought of what would happen if her parents decided to give up. Divorce wasn’t something that her family ever supported. Her entire life had been based upon certain principles and Clare held those provisions to be true as if they were law. In moments of panic and weakness, the elusive D-word would spring to mind but just as quickly as it did, Clare pushed it away. That wasn’t in the cards for her parents and she would do everything in her power to get them back on the straight and narrow again. Clare was just a child and she knew it shouldn’t have been her responsibility. But if no one else was willing to step up to the plate and try implementing some changes, she feared that things would only get worse from there. Eli played a major role in helping her to find her voice and speak up. While his methods could be construed as meddling or pushing too hard, Clare knew that he was only trying to be helpful. It was certainly more than her own parents were doing each time they told her she had nothing to worry about. For the time being, she didn’t want to concern herself with feuding parents or the tension they inflicted upon the home. Today was her ticket out of her household and Clare vowed to make the most of it. She was glad she had plucked up the courage to ask Eli to join her this afternoon. It’d only been a few minutes and already she was smiling more than she had all day. The bookstore was the perfect place for two literary buffs like themselves and Eli’s shop hadn’t disappointed so far. Pulling her attention away from the shelves, she looked at him quizzically. He had promised her an adventure but admittedly, Clare wasn’t so sure how that could be accomplished inside of a store. Nevertheless, her excitement grew as he spoke, Clare then accepting the paper and pen from him. “I can’t believe you thought of something like this. I’m in,” she said determinedly, shaking her head lightly as she uncapped her pen. Thinking it over for a moment, she jotted her five words down on the paper. It read ‘memory, holiday, supernatural, childhood, classic’. She wasn’t sure if they were the most thrilling options out there but she thought there was decent variety. “Okay, I’m all done,” she chirped, folding her paper in half and extending it to him.

Eli didn't consider himself especially skilled in easing people's troubles-- seeing as though he oftentimes felt like one himself-- but there was something about being around Clare that made the tendency come out naturally. She herself was nurturing, always making sure others were okay before sparing a thought on her own condition. Eli figured maybe it was that trait of hers rubbing off on him slightly, no matter how preposterous he would have thought it was a few weeks before. Most things with the girl defied all logic from his vantage point. It seemed smarter to simply go with it instead of trying to pick apart every small mechanic shared between them that he couldn't understand. He couldn't deny the fact that he had a budding crush on the girl, one that only seemed to intensify with each conversation they had. Anyone would have been a fool not to, in his eyes. No matter how mild mannered the girl was, there was something undeniably addicting to her, from her disposition itself to how buoyant the world felt when she was around. Lightheartedness was scarce in Eli's life, making the fact that she could usher it back into his world nothing short of incredible. This outing was an attempt to return the favor, if at all possible. He could see that she wasn't exactly grasping how this simple trip was about to turn into something. As she gave her approval, Eli couldn't help but beam over the fact, glad that she didn't think it was silly or a waste of time. “It's a more inventive way to get a feel for the place. You might end up finding a few things you want to buy, even.” he suggested. Taking a moment to watch her as she mulled it over, Eli then moved to write his own down, the words coming to mind fairly quickly. They read: 'favorite, banned, erotic, childhood, and eli'. He knew two out of the three were just going out on a limb, the first to make her squirm and the last just out of his own curiosity. He couldn't be sure what exactly Clare thought of him, or if anything reminded her of him at all. He hoped Alli had been right in saying he was on her mind a good deal of the time but all in all, it just felt too good to be true. Folding his paper and returning the pen to his pocket, he exchanged the lists with Clare, smiling expectantly as he unfolded it. “You just had to put something supernatural on here, didn't you?” he groaned, letting out a hearty laugh as he continued reading. “Alright, this is fair. As long as you don't have any real complaints about my list...” he trailed off, lifting his brows challengingly at her; just waiting for her to make a complaint about the erotic part, “then we'll meet back here in a half hour. Whatever we've got, we bring it back here then.” he stated, nodding his head to her before heading off in search of some items.

Clare found it hard to come across anything that gave her peace of mind these days. For a time even her writing had suffered. It was terrifying to experience a block when writing had never betrayed her before. It was Eli who had been the one to reawaken her muse, challenging her to dig deep and be unafraid to explore the parts of her life that she struggled with. Eli was just about as different from her as a person could be but it was how they varied that allowed them to work together so harmoniously. He was daring where Clare was reserved, free-wheeling where Clare was demure. It was fascinating to say the very least. Clare felt inclined to step outside of her comfort zone when she was around him. Eli made her feel braver than ever before and it was just what she needed when the rest of her life felt so far out of her control. There was still so much she wanted to uncover about the boy but Clare enjoyed the mystery. She hung onto his every word and was quick to call him out if need be. It seemed that Eli had a knack for embellishing some of her dormant qualities. Her whole life had been based on routine and structure but for him, it looked as if rules simply didn’t apply to anything. Clare couldn’t help but to gravitate towards him and hope that in the process, she’d be able to learn more about herself. She didn’t see how anyone in their right mind couldn’t be attracted to Eli on any level. Certainly she was glad to have him as a friend but if the prospect for something more ever presented itself, Clare could say in full honesty that she would take the chance on him. For now they were still in the beginning stages of their friendship, learning even the simplest things about each other. Clare was glad their first outing was to a mutual love for the both of them. A person’s preferences said a lot about them. Eli’s game made things all the more interesting. She couldn’t pass up the creative take on exploring a bookstore with a friend. “I can already tell I’m going to be coming here a lot. You might catch me in here on the weekends now that you’ve shared this place with me,” she warned with a smile. Already Clare wanted to see everything but she remained patient until they were both done with their list. She was eager to see the five words Eli had picked out. As they exchanged lists, her eyes widened on the word ‘erotic’. It was just like him to do something like that. But she thought it was a nice touch that he added his name though it made her regretful she hadn’t put hers down as well. She would have loved to know what came to mind when he thought of her as he was so guarded when it came to most of his thoughts. Clare put her hands on her hips. “I think you can survive supernatural now that I’ve got to search for…erotic,” she said, whispering the final word as her cheeks grew pink. Turning up her nose jokingly, she smiled. “Okay, thirty minutes starting now,” she agreed, looking at her watch. List in hand, Clare walked away from him. The store had more than books and while Clare knew the rules allotted for other items, her mind was wired to focus on novels. Deciding to get the worst of it over, she tentatively made her way over to the adult book section, grabbing a copy of “50 Shades of Grey”. She recalled a talk she had with Eli weeks before about this very same book so it only seemed fitting. There were still four words left but Clare sighed in relief of having this one out of the way.

Eli started off towards the fiction section, his eyes glancing down at the list occasionally while he considered options. Most of Clare's words were simple, ordinary ones that just about anyone could find easily in a bookstore. But the one that managed to make him the most perplexed was 'memory'. More often than not, Eli aimed to keep things as repressed as humanly possible, willing himself to forget certain portions of his life. Most notably had been the past year as a whole, but they seemed to be the most unrelenting and vivid. Scanning over the five words again, he decided to work on that one towards the end, instead tackling something he considered a no-brainer. He walked alongside the bookshelves, keeping an eye on the alphabetical order under he found Tom Sawyer for Classic. He could still remember reading it in sixth grade for the first time, and despite his initial reservations, (immediately assuming it was bound to be mundane since it was considered classic literature) it was one he'd become fond of after his first read. Tucking it under his arm, he continued along, then snatching a copy of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas to cover the holiday category. He turned a corner and peered around, wondering where Clare had found herself within the store. Though he was still getting to know her, it wouldn't have surprised him at all to find her caught up in a certain section, the game half-forgotten as she discovered what titles the shop had to offer. The thought brought a smile to Eli's face, just as everything about Clare tended to. He wouldn't admit it aloud to her, but she'd succeeded at making him a significantly happier person already. It nearly scared him, knowing that such a thing could be so apt to disappear just as unexpectedly as it'd shown up. Shaking the thought off, he continued on his hunt, scoffing to himself as he passed by the collection of Stephanie Meyer books. He was sure The Host was just as atrocious as the infamous Twilight books were, but he'd never bothered to read the synopsis. After weighing the options of which book would be the least nauseating to take, Eli settled on Breaking Dawn, reasoning that at least it marked the end of a horrendous series.

Clare consulted the list in her hand one more time, deciding to go with childhood next. She found it funny that they both picked that word. From what Eli had told her about his parents, she didn’t have any doubts that his upbringing was just as colorful as his life was now in present day. Clare wanted a bit of insight as to what Eli was like growing up, anything that interested him. For Clare, it was simple enough as she trekked over to the kids section, picking up a copy of "Where's Spot" by Eric Hill. Clare had loved the book immensely as a child and to this day, it was probably the book that gave her the fondest memories. Clare had to ponder ‘banned’ before settling on “Fahrenheit 451”, a book centered around a dystopian society in which books were outlawed. It was the best she could think of and Clare suspected that Eli might’ve appreciated her spin on the chosen word, or so she hoped. With three out of the five done, Clare focused on ‘favorite’, deciding to veer from novels and explore the bookmarks, searching for one that had a great quote inscribed. She couldn’t believe her luck in spotting on that bore one of her all-time favorites by C.S. Lewis—an author Clare had been intrigued by since she was a kid. We read to know that we are not alone, it read. Clare smiled to herself as she fixed her collection of items, curious as to how Eli was getting along. In retrospect, her words weren’t hard at all but Clare had a feeling this would not be the last round of this game they played. The mere thought of coming here again with Eli made her hopeful. Spending time with him was a surefire way to lift her spirits. In one afternoon, he managed to rid her completely of thoughts about her parents. That was no easy task considering how often she dwelled on the matter. Clare appreciated all of his efforts and it made saving the best for last all the more exciting. From the moment she saw Eli’s name at the end of the list, Clare thought of many things. Eli was the type of guy that couldn’t be pinned to one thing specifically. She thought of getting a comic book or something macabre; perhaps a Palahniuk novel or a book about cars since he was something of a mechanic. But what Clare had in mind now wouldn’t be something he would have seen coming. Going into the Young Adult section, Clare scanned the shelves for one book in particular. Picking up a copy of “Along for the Ride” by Sarah Dessen, Clare smiled triumphantly and sauntered over to their meeting spot with minutes to spare. 

Eli had three out of the five items already picked out, clumsily carrying the books along with him as he scoured the rest of the bookstore. The first three seemed like items he would pick on instinct, hardly having to give much thought to them as he rummaged for items. The remaining two were the things that managed to stump him, more specifically 'memory'. Still avoiding it, Eli focused his attention on things from his childhood, comfortable with reflecting on that as opposed to the other topic. Though he came from an unconventional household, his parents had never been anything but amazing in his opinion. They'd always encouraged his creativity, doing anything and everything they possible could to help him explore his talents. Where other parents might have forced sports or other activities down a child's throat, Eli was never coerced into trying out things that didn't strike his interest. Despite Bullfrog's insistence that a hidden rockstar was just waiting to show itself in his son, (which only led to disappointment, since Eli knew that his father's only son was undoubtedly tone deaf) he didn't rope Eli into taking music lessons. Instead, he was given more books and journals than a kid could ever dream of, even given his first typewriter at eight simply because he'd been dying to have one. There wasn't anything traumatic to reflect on within his childhood, something Eli knew not at all people were lucky enough to be able to say. Once he reached the children's book section, he quickly realized which one he'd want to pick out. The Spot books had always been a staple in his household, being one of the very first books he'd ever learned to read from on his own. Grabbing Where's Spot?, Eli realized he was at the end of the list, only left one more thing to find. About ten minutes had passed by the time Eli realized he'd found himself back in the very same spot as he was before, still only carrying four items instead of the five he needed. It was only when he strolled up to the counter that he found the miscellaneous items; pens, keychains, stickers, etc, that something struck him. He'd never enjoyed candy much himself, finding that his sweet tooth never vied for them in the same way that it did with ice cream or cookies. But Julia had always been a complete addict, all but demanding candy from him whenever they went to the movies. Skittles were her favorite, and every time he saw them, without fail, they immediately made her think of the girl. It was a bittersweet memory, and one he wasn't about to disclose in full detail to Clare, but it certainly fit the bill. He placed a packet of the candies on top of his finds before he scanned over the rest of the items, one more catching his eye. A selection of supposed “energy” bracelets sat grouped together on a display, Eli rolling his eyes at how ridiculous the concept was. He couldn't imagine who would truly be so stupid that they would trust the jewelry to change anything about their life. He looked over the titles for each bracelet, then picking up the one that said “calm” on it. Clare hadn't put her name on the list, like he'd done with his own, but he couldn't help associating her with the word. A measly bracelet couldn't calm someone's nerves or pull them off a ledge, but a person like Clare certainly could. Already she was doing wonders to ease Eli's generally troubled state of mind, her placid demeanor seeping into his own whenever they were together. He added the bracelet to his collection, shortly after making his way back to their table. Clare was already settled there, Eli smiling at her as he dumped his findings on the table. “We both did pretty good.” he commented happily, drumming his fingertips on the edge of the surface. “So, guide me through each one, I'm excited to see what you picked out.”

Clare was excited to see the outcome of Eli’s find and to hear the stories that would undoubtedly come about from each item. She had to give him credit for coming up with a way to turn what could have been an average, typical trip to a local bookstore into such a memorable experience. For someone who claimed to like being alone and often times went to great lengths to prove his point, Clare wasn’t fooled by Eli’s act. It was clear as day to her that he was cut out to be a good friend. She couldn’t think of anyone else who would take the time out of their day to do something this unique just for her. It made her want to be an even better friend to him, to ensure that she reciprocated often enough that he knew just how serious she took their friendship. While in the early stages, Clare foresaw the two of them having longevity if they both continued on this course now. To have Eli change his mind one day or for something to rip them apart wouldn’t be an instance that Clare could handle. She was far too attached to him now, the boy becoming an integral part of her life. There was no turning back and it was quickly becoming a fear of hers that she’d find a way to screw things up. It was too soon to think about putting labels on anything but Eli was the first guy since KC that Clare felt such a pull towards. Something was different this time around though she could quite put her finger on it. Whatever it was, Clare knew better than to ignore it. Instead she made it her mission to stay close to him. Luckily Ms. Dawes partnering them up made it so they would be linked to each other for the rest of the semester. It was a good starting point and now Clare was content with picking up from that lead and forging a friendship with him. So far they were doing well in that department and interactions such as this one were serving to further cement the point. As Clare sat down at the table, she looked over her items thoughtfully. It was an interesting word association game, very indicative of an individual. She couldn’t wait to see Eli and as the thirty minute deadline drew closer, she perked up in her seat at his arrival. “Cutting it close, good sir,” she teased, spreading out her collection. “Okay, we’ll start from the beginning which was ‘favorite’. For that, I got this bookmark which has one of my favorite quotes by one of my favorite authors written on it,” she said, sliding the bookmark across the table so he could read it. “Next up was ‘banned’ and I went with the Bradbury classic ‘Fahrenheit 451’, for obvious reasons,” she said, confident Eli would understand why. “Being the jerk that you are,” she jokingly chided, “I went with ‘50 Shade of Grey’. Again…for obvious reasons.” She loathed the way her cheeks flushed, a telltale sign that the subject matter made her bashful. Pressing forward, she picked up the Eric Hill book. “My childhood would have been nothing without ‘Where’s Spot?’ I must have had my parents read it to me a million times before I learned by myself. It’s actually the first book I practiced on and read from,” she said softly, skimming her fingertips over the cover. “And lastly, something that makes me think of you is this book. It’s called ‘Along for the Ride’. It actually reminds me of us, really.” Realizing how odd that must have sounded, she continued. “The main character is a lot like me, very studious and such. She meets a guy named Eli, ironically enough. He’s rough around the edges, very to himself but when he gets around Auden, his walls come down. The two become friends and the whole book is pretty much Eli getting Auden to come out of her shell and experience life since she’s so reserved. In the book, Eli is close friends with a guy named Adam. I mean, come on. It’s too fitting,” she laughed. “But…yeah, it’s my favorite Sarah Dessen novel and the comparisons between you and the Eli in the book are so uncanny. I know this isn’t exactly your go-to genre but I think you should read it. I think you might enjoy it and see traces of yourself in there,” she concluded, tucking a curl behind her ear.

Eli “You had me stumped on a couple of these, Edwards. That's all on you.” he insisted, mock sternness in his voice. He sat quietly as she began her rundown, taking a look at the bookmark once she slid it over to him. Even on the first word she was already impressing him. He knew at the beginning that she would be thoughtful about her choices, but that was one of the things Eli really enjoyed about Clare. So few people would truly put effort into a scavenger hunt like this, but the fact that she managed to have just as much fun with it as he had meant the world to him. He didn't feel adept at making friends generally, but Clare made the process as easy as breathing. His mouth gradually curled into a wide smile at her pick for banned, not expecting the take on it that she had. Overall, it shouldn't have surprised him that Clare had such an original perspective on things, digging deeper than the average person would. “Damn, very nice. I wasn't expecting that.” he said, picking the book up off the table and glancing over it quickly before she continued. Once she moved on to her choice for erotic, Eli didn't bother stifling his laughter for her sake, the volume of it tripling once she mentioned 50 Shades. “I knew you'd eventually find yourself flocking to this book.” he chuckled, shaking his head at the cover. “Such a travesty of a novel, I swear to god. I was actually half hoping you'd grab something with a risque looking cover, but this is even better.” The red tint to her cheeks was obvious, but he didn't make a move to point it out, only taking a moment to inwardly admire just how sweet and innocent she was. The moment she lifted up the Spot book, Eli's jaw dropped slightly, surprised that they both picked the same one for their favorite childhood book. He held his peace about them both having grabbed the same title, only offering a nod for the time being. “A Sarah Dessen book makes you think of me, of all things?” he gaped in amusement, not sure exactly how it would have stirred up that thought for her. As she elaborated, saying it reminded of her of the both of them, Eli's brows shot up, caught somewhere between flattered and extremely bewildered. Listening, he found that the similarities seemed a little too spot on, caught off guard by the parallels. Part of him was worried by a portion of her statement, more specifically the fact that the protagonist in the book helps bring the boy out of his shell, but Eli fought against his own inclination to get—just as the character apparently was—guarded. Her spiel left him mostly dumbfounded, sitting in surprise at how much thought she'd put into the three simple letters of his name being added to the list. After a moment, he reached for the book, glancing over the cover and then looking to her. “I'll read it.” he said simply, putting it aside so he could purchase it before they left the store. “Alright, so, now that you've shown me what you grabbed, a couple things I got are pretty funny.” Although she had gone in order of the list, Eli just grabbed the nearest item to him, picking the book for holiday, ''Twas the Night Before Christmas'. “My mom and dad liked to read me this book and insist that Santa was real, even though I knew it was just Bullfrog dressing up like him and clumsily putting presents under the tree.” he said with a roll of his eyes, placing the book aside. “For supernatural, I figured I'd give a sick little nod to your favorite series besides Fortnight.” Eli muttered, sliding 'Breaking Dawn' over towards her. “I don't know how you even like those books, but that's the last time I willingly touch one.” he griped, shooting her a small smile a beat later to let her know that he was only joking. “For classic, I picked 'Tom Sawyer'. I seriously thought I'd hate this book, and it was really the first time I ended up eating my words about a story after giving it a genuine try. It's just a nice thing to reflect on.” he said, pushing it aside and moving onto the childhood choice. “Now...” he began, lifting “Where's Spot?” and propping it up so Clare could see. “I find it hilarious that you and I both chose this one. Just when I think we're polar opposites.” Eli laughed, placing it with the copy of the book that Clare had grabbed. “When I was little and got sick, these books were my mom's go-to. It was just a comforting thing for me. And like you said, they were the first ones that I read on my own as well.” Even though it was a small thing, Eli liked having it in common with the girl. “Lastly, was memory.” he said, passing the Skittles package between his hands. “I had a friend who was obsessed with these things. Candy was literally half of her diet. She never understood how I didn't like them myself.” he said, leaving out the extent to which he knew this 'friend', or what ended up happening to them. “So every time I see these at stores, I'm always thinking of her and that little fixation she had.” Not wanting to go into more detail, he put them aside, his features lifting back up once the bracelet was the only thing left at the center of the table “And this is a sixth thing I picked up for the hell of it. I know you didn't write your own name on the list but if you had, I would have picked this up.” Eli handed it to her, waiting for her to read the tag hanging from it that read “calm”. “You just...take the pressure off of everything.” he said quietly, glancing between the bracelet and Clare's eyes. “I don't have to explain myself to you; you get it. You seem like you get it even when I don't.” he shrugged, smiling to himself at the thought. “At the risk of being painfully cheesy, I just wanted you to know that.”

Clare didn’t hesitate in delving into her collection. A large part of her wanted Eli to see just how serious she had taken their scavenger hunt and to be impressed by what she came up with based off the five simple words he’d given her. His opinion on her counted for a great deal and as they were in a bookstore—a sacred place to people like them—the need to set the bar high was a pressing thought. Aside from that, it was simply fun to let loose for an evening and share in something that she was certain other people wouldn’t find nearly as entertaining. She could spend hours within the establishment if permitted and it was plain to see that Eli made for a great partner to have along. They humored each other as they indulged in their love of books while also using that common interest to discover more about one another. Unconventional was one of the best words to describe Eli and while that might’ve had negative connotations to some people, Clare liked to see it is as unique; one of a kind. Clare was sure she’d be hard pressed to find another guy like him for years to come. It made being close to him on this level all the more rewarding. The quasi show and tell was going just as she hoped, Clare beaming at his approval over the Bradbury book. Once more it just furthered the point that they were likeminded despite how different they were on their exteriors. Clare rolled her eyes playfully at his commentary over the 50 Shades book. “Cheap trick, Goldsworthy. I still refuse to read it but for the purposes of this game, it was useful.” She was glad he didn’t think her odd for being so touchy about the novel’s content but it wasn’t surprising in the least bit. Eli never made her feel like an outcast for having views that varied from popular opinion. More often than not, he was just the same in his own respects. Getting into the territory of the ‘Eli’ association had the potential to get awkward, especially considering how similar the book ran on par to them. Nonetheless, Clare couldn’t think of a better option that seemed to encapsulate not just the boy himself but the effect he’d been having on her. Their story was only just beginning as their friendship was still so new but it was a secret hope of Clare’s to find themselves growing closer to each other in time just as the characters in the book had. It didn’t seem too far-fetched as they were currently embarking on expanding their relationship from classmates to friends who hung out on the weekends. Clare perked up and grinned as he promised to read the book, pleased that he was willing to give it a shot despite the fact that it wasn’t his normal style. Clasping her hands on the table, she peered over at his findings, giving him her undivided attention. Clare smiled softly to herself, picturing Eli as a little boy. From the sound of it, he was just as strong-minded and opinionated back then as he was now. “That’s adorable,” she giggled, changing her position a bit and propping a hand under her chin. “Pardon me, it’s a good series. Don’t think I've forgotten about forcing you to watch the movies one day,” she warned though her warm smile made the stern effect amount to nothing. She liked his choice for ‘classic’ as it was one of her favorite timeless stories as well. From the moment he spoke again, Clare’s eyes widened at the book he held up. “Oh my goodness,” she said in disbelief. It might not have seemed like much in the grand scheme of things or of importance to anyone else but it was a big deal to Clare that they had something that prominent in common. His anecdote was touching, once more made her conjure up the image of a younger Eli. She eyed the package of candy he’d brought along, shaking her head. “Your friend was right to love them. Skittles is one of my favorite candies, too.” One item still remained on the table and it made Clare curious. He’d already gotten through his five and yet there was now a bonus waiting to be explained. Her brows knitted together for a moment but as he began to explain, her expression grew from thoughtful to soft in a matter of seconds. Reaching out her hand, she took the bracelet from him, turning it over in her palm and reading the word. It was by far the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to her before and it left her bereft of words for a moment. She closed her hand over the bracelet and placed her fist against her chest as she looked back at him. “Call me a sentimental sap but I don’t find this cheesy in the least bit. On the contrary, it’s extremely flattering. Thank you,” she said quietly. Unfurling her hand, she looked at the bracelet once again. “This one’s a keeper. I simply have to buy it today.”

Eli already knew that Clare wasn't the type to dig any deeper than he felt comfortable, but the fact was only proven more so as she let the memory topic go with a simple reply. She didn't let her inquisitive nature get the best of her in situations where it wouldn't serve to benefit anyone. Where others would have asked him to delve deeper about who the friend was or why it even stuck with him so much, Clare could accept things at face value, and he couldn't have been more grateful for it. Bringing over the bracelet was a bit of a risk, knowing that it could either come off as too sentimental for the stage their friendship was currently at, or even making her feel more attached to him than she already did. Although Eli liked the idea of her returning the feelings he'd been developing, it wouldn't have been the best option for her. Keeping Clare at a safe distance and keeping things platonic was the safest route, even if he'd always want more. Hearing her reaction, he could subtly let out a sigh of relief, glad that his intentions came across well. The fact that she seemed so touched by the gesture didn't go unnoticed by Eli, his face heating up slightly by how much she seemed to like it. It took a very specific personality to get Eli flustered to any degree, but Clare never failed to bring that out of him. “You're welcome.” he said in return, shaking his head once she spoke again. “No, let me.” he insisted, gently grabbing the bracelet from her and placing it with the book he was going to buy. “I've got it, really. It's going to look nice on you.” He looked over the collection of books they'd both collected, half the table covered in them now. “Wanna put these back together?” he asked, gathering up the things and waiting for her to join him. “That's literally the only downside to pulling all of these down from the shelves; remembering where the hell you got them from.” Gradually, each title was returned to its original spot, the only things left in Eli's hands being the Sarah Dessen book and Clare's bracelet. Returning to the counter, Eli placed both items on the counter, purchasing them and handing the piece of jewelry to Clare as they walked out. “I promise I will read this, honestly. I'm a little freaked out that there's a guy with my name who seems just like me in it, but if you like it, that's enough reason to give it a shot.” he said, holding the door open for her to exit. “I'm not sure if you got dropped off or walked here, but if you wanted a ride back, I'm not parked far.” he offered, pointing just slightly down the street where he'd left Morty.

Clare was curious as to why Eli had used past tense when speaking about his friend. Countless times she wondered about Eli’s life prior to Degrassi and his reasons for transferring in grade eleven but it wasn’t her place to ask. On top of that, Clare didn’t want to spoil the afternoon by prying and running the risk of making him feel uncomfortable. They were breaking down barriers between them but if it was a topic Eli wasn’t too keen on talking about in great lengths, she was able to take that cue and let the matter drop. They still had plenty of ground to cover and time in which to do it as their friendship was only now getting started. Clare looked forward to each and every fact about him that he was willing to share and today’s outing made her feel a lot closer to him. She was happy he’d gone ahead and picked up an item that reminded him of her as she’d been regretful earlier in the day that she hadn’t put her name on the list. Hearing his reasoning behind the symbol warmed her heart like nothing else in recent memory. She was glad that she could bring about that peace of mind in his life. She didn’t know much of anything about the pressures he faced but if she had a hand in lessening it to a bearable degree, it was something Clare was proud of. It couldn’t have been easy for him to make such a declaration and it made Clare all the more appreciative of the gesture. Try as he might have to keep her at an arm’s length at times when he thought it best, his efforts were no match for Clare’s determination to be closer to him. With acts of sincere kindness like this, Clare had a hard time imagining how anyone could fight the urge to bridge the gap between them if they were in her shoes. Still in awe over the gesture, she was thrown once more as he took the bracelet back and insisted on purchasing it for her. “You really don’t have to do that,” she said, clutching the strap on her purse, “but thank you so much.” She figured resistance would be futile and now that the bracelet was in his possession, Clare was certain nothing she did or said would be able to sway him of the decision. He was finding ways to further extend himself to her and that wasn’t something Clare wanted to stifle or override. “Ah, the inevitable clean up portion of the game,” she mused, nodding and following his lead. Moving about the store and returning the items to their rightful spots, Clare remained at his side as they made their way to the register. “It’s going to throw you for a loop seeing just how alike you guys are,” she assured. “But you’re going to love it. I know it.” Exiting the store shortly after, she looked up the street in the direction of which she came. “I got dropped off nearby. A ride would be pretty great,” she said, just thinking about how much of a trek it would be to walk all the way back home. “You’re just full of chivalry today, aren’t you?” she joked, bumping her shoulder against his lightly as she walked down the street, spotting Morty at once among the other parked cars.

Eli nodded as Clare agreed to a ride, glad for the fact that he'd be granted a little while longer to spend with her. In truth, he probably could have spent the entire day with her, but he didn't feel bold enough to say so. It still seemed too early to speak his mind so freely, but he wondered if she was thinking along the same lines when it came to each other's company. Either way, this first outing would open the door to multiple others, making it so they could have a friendship that spanned beyond the classroom and things at school. “For you, I am.” he responded, noting the rush of warmth that traveled up along the length of his arm as she bumped against him. It made him think of how it might feel to have her hand in his, their fingers threaded together and swaying occasionally between them as they walked in step. If even the briefest of touches sent a spark through him, having consistent contact with her would probably leave him reeling. But that wasn't even close to being an option, and Eli knew better than to humor the idea when he wasn't about to act on it. Clare would probably be the kind of girl to entertain such a thing, but doing so would be sending her the entirely wrong message. The fact that he needed to inwardly chide himself for his musings so often with the girl frustrated Eli, but it seemed there wasn't much helping it when he got to daydreaming. She was always the center of his focus, the one person who showed up in his thoughts most frequently as of late. Reaching the hearse, he opened the passenger's side door, making a flourishing motion with his hand. “I guess I really don't know how to be anything but.” Eli mused aloud, laughing at himself as he realized Clare's commentary really was correct. Once she was inside, he gently shut the door, moving along to the other side and seat belting himself in. “I'm glad you had a good time. Part of me thought this was corny as hell, but I've actually been wanting to do a scavenger hunt in a bookstore for a while now.” he admitted, making a turn down the next street. “Once we started getting to know each other, I realized you were the perfect person for it. And I had a lot of fun, I can't even deny that.” Letting a silence fall between them, Eli liked the way it felt perfectly natural to share the same space with Clare but not say anything, neither of them awkward or uncomfortable with the lack of conversation. Once they pulled up at her door, he exhaled softly, almost regretful that she had to go. “Hey,” he started, taking the headphones that he'd been wearing off from around his neck. “I brought these along because I think you could really use them. They're noise cancellation, so hopefully you'll be able to drown out your parents if they get back to arguing.” he said, handing her the headphones. “I know I can't always pull you out of your house for an escape, so hopefully this will make it easier to deal with in the meantime.”

These days it seemed as if the Edwards family home only came with two settings. Either the house was filled with shouting and snide remarks or it was so eerily silent that it grated on Clare’s nerves. This evening the latter won out as Randall Edwards was set to arrive home at any minute from work. Truth be told, Clare knew enough to soak up those precious moments. Before long, her parents would find something to argue about, driving the wedge between them even further. Clare liked to call this time now the calm before the storm. She took her time in going downstairs, busying herself with today’s assigned homework. When she couldn’t delay any further, she set her completed work aside and left her room. The top floor was perfectly still, almost eerily so but Clare ignored that as she made her descent down the stairs. Halfway she stopped in place, spotting her mom through the quasi-window that overlooked the living room. Helen sat with a collection of photo albums. Some sat perched on the coffee table and on the couch with her. The one she was currently perusing settled on her lap. Helen seemed so lost in thought that she had not realized her youngest daughter had joined her. The woman’s eyes were trained on the pictures before her, her fingertips pressed lightly against her thin lips. Her stance was troubling to Clare who remained frozen in place for another moment before continuing down to the main floor. “What do you have there?” Clare asked softly enough, though she still managed to startle her mother. “Oh, sweetheart. I didn’t hear you coming,” Helen said, looking up and smiling at her. “I was just tidying up and came across the albums.” Patting the empty seat on the left side of her, Helen signaled for Clare to join her. Sitting as instructed, Clare tucked a loose curl behind her ear and peered over the book. “That one was from the church’s banquet three years ago,” Clare said, pointing to a picture of her with her long hair and glasses standing in the middle of her sister and mother. “You girls looked so beautiful that night,” Helen lamented. Clare bit the inside of her cheek and remained quiet as her mom flipped through the pages.

“Do you need help setting up for dinner?” she asked after a few moments. Helen shook her head. “No, everything is set up. As usual, we’re just waiting on your father.” Clare closed her eyes faintly at this, hating the not so subtle dig at her dad. It wasn’t worth it to call attention to it now. Clare knew when to pick and choose her battles. Disrupting the otherwise peacefulness of the night wouldn’t be such a smart tactic. Instead she simply nodded and glanced over at the clock adjacent from her. It was half past six which meant that her father was in fact thirty minutes late. To Clare, it wasn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But judging by the prominent scowl etched onto her mother’s face, it was plain to see that Helen thought differently. She muttered something to herself but Clare tuned her out and silently prayed that her dad would show up quickly to put an end to her mother’s foul mood. As luck would have it, after a mere five minutes, the sound of a key slipping into the front door pierced the silence of the house. Clare perked up as Randall stepped inside, setting his bag aside and slipping off his jacket. Clare didn’t delay in getting out of her seat to greet her father before he could even announce himself. “Hi, dad,” she beamed, giving him a hug of which he returned. “How are you, Clarebear? Homework all done?” Before Clare could form a word, her mother’s voice sounded behind her. “You would know that if you managed to come home on time. Dinner has been ready and waiting,” Helen said coolly. Randall clenched his jaw, his nostrils flared. It was a look Clare knew all too well, the look of her father steeling himself for an argument. “I’m here now, aren’t I? I’m barely through the door and you’re starting with me already?” he countered. Clare, who was still close to her father’s side, inched away from him and stood between her parents. “Can we please, just please, have one night where you two aren’t at each other’s throats?” she pleaded, hating the tremor in her voice. She wanted to sound firm and commanding but the only vibe she gave off was meek. Nonetheless, it seemed to do the trick as her father sighed and kissed the top of her head. Wordlessly the trio moved from the foyer and into the dining room. While Clare was glad they had put a cease and desist on their bickering, the tension between her parents was practically suffocating. She knew she couldn’t have it all, that to be free of one negative, she’d have to settle for another. This might’ve been the lesser of two evils but that didn’t mean that it was somehow more bearable.

Sitting at their usual seats, the family settled in around the table. Helen eyed the selections, Clare willing to bet anything that she was biting her tongue from making further commentary about the food possibly being cold. She looked over to her dad who seemed aloof. They all felt more like strangers than an actual family. It made her miss Darcy even more. At least then there would be one person in the house that she could feel comfortable around. Clare felt a pang in her chest as she thought about her sister. She was thousands of miles away, completely unaware of just how bad things were getting between their parents. Clare didn’t have the heart to tell her in their last Skype session but made a mental note to clue her sister in. Clare didn’t want to think about the elusive D-word looming overhead. It simply wasn’t something her parents would do given their religious practices. But admittedly, it was a thought that had flickered across her mind a few times. Clare chalked it up to paranoia on her part and nothing more. But it became harder to trust in that theory when her parents were constantly at odds with one another. Her family had always been picture perfect but over the last few years, that image started to crumble. Now the cracks in the foundation were beginning to show themselves. Clare dreaded becoming fodder for the church. The gossip that would circulate about other members was jarring and Clare certainly didn’t want that fate to befall her family. She knew that she was getting ahead of herself but all the same, these were the thoughts that plagued her. Her parents used to be good at keeping up appearances but now it was obvious to anyone that viewed them from the outside looking in, that something was amiss. Whatever string that was holding them together was wearing thin and Clare feared the day it would inevitably snap. Shaking her head lightly to dispel the thoughts, Clare shifted against her seat. “Clare, sweetie, will you please say grace tonight?” Helen requested. “Of course,” Clare replied, closing her eyes and outstretching her hands on either side of her.

Her brows knitted together as she didn’t feel the warmth of her parents’ hands. Lifting her head, she saw that both her parents had resigned to cutting off contact with each other. Randall’s head was bowed, almost solemnly as if this were his last meal. Beside him, Helen’s nose was upturned, her hands clasped before her. Clare wanted to say something, anything, but she was bereft on words. It was a childish display by two adults who should know better but lately, Clare truly felt like the most mature person living inside their house. Licking her lips, Clare closed her eyes again and clasped her hands, preparing a quick prayer. “Lord, we thank you for this meal. Bless the hands that prepared it and allow it to nourish our bodies. We thank you for every small blessing and ask that you continue to protect our family. In your holy name we pray, amen,” she concluded. Helen smiled at her before draping her napkin on her lap and moving to fix her plate. Clare wondered why her family even bothered going through the motions of a happy family when they were the furthest thing from it. But as her dad smiled at her too, Clare realized that all of this was merely for her sake. It wasn’t flattering. If anything, it made her feel guilty for being the reason they were apparently still battling through. Clare ate in silence but with each swallow of food, her stomach only hurt her more as it was already twisting in knots. She only spoke up when forced to, as her dad tried engaging her in small talk about school. Clare wanted to tell them both about how much of a block she was having on her writing, how her creativity felt stifled but refrained. Instead she stuck with the finer points as her mother looked on and didn’t contribute anything to the conversation. It felt as if they were somehow sharing custody of her and it wasn’t a feeling Clare wanted to linger for long. “Helen, can you pass the salt?” Randall asked when his round of questions was over. “You really need to watch your blood pressure,” her mother replied as she still obliged and handed him the shaker. “It’s not going to kill me to add just a bit to my meal.” Helen’s mouth popped open as she set her fork down, her index finger pointing accusatorily at her husband. “May I be excused?” Clare interjected, not even bothering for a reply as she rose from her seat.