#datingnightmares

It’s Saturday night as I write this, and I, a single 21 year old, is sitting at home watching Sex and the City. Hardly the crazy Saturday night I assumed I’d be having a few years ago. But one awful relationship, a health crisis, and a global pandemic later, and I’m quite content with it. But the question I pose is, is that wrong? Women who enjoy being single have been seen as a bad thing for longer than I’ve been alive. They get called crazy cat ladies, and people think there must be something wrong with a woman if she enjoys being alone. And don’t get me wrong, a relationship sounds nice. Just think of how its shown on television! A stolen glance, brushed fingertips, running through an airport, standing up in the middle of a wedding, etc. Love is supposed to be this grand thing that makes everyone lose their sense of decency. Of course, I want someone to love me, take me on a cute picnic, and one day have a fairytale wedding with. But how does one even find that now? I’ve tried dating apps, believe me. Some not as bad as others. But let’s all be honest here, Tinder is a glorified hookup app, and Bumble isn’t much better. All of my experiences are guys wanting to talk for 2 minutes, and then go and “meet up”. What happened to getting to know someone first? A couple days of decent conversation before attempting to go on a date would make things so much easier. What do you even talk about on a date if you’ve never had a real conversation? And isn’t it just a waste of time? How do you even know you have anything in common? It’s like you reference a tv show in your bio, and people just assume you must be SO alike! I enjoy all kinds of shows, movies, and books! One stupid quote referencing The Office doesn’t mean its the only thing I think about. So I ask you, has the pandemic made dating worse, or have I just turned cynical?

Dating is a battleground filled with deception and infidelity. #datingpartner #datinghelp #datingnightmares #datingonline #datingtipsformen #datingprofile #datingnews https://www.instagram.com/p/CQIQe2zhQr5/?utm_medium=tumblr

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“What was that?” . You finally worked up the courage to go out with that super cute guy, Darren, who keeps messaging you on Tinder and things are off to a great start. He brings you to a super romantic restaurant for a candlelit dinner. It’s in an old mine shaft from the late 1800s that has been converted into a super exclusive high-end restaurant. . If you hear a strange noise off in the distance, never ask your date, “What was that?” It takes the focus off the two of you and shifts it to something ominous off in the shadows of an abandoned mine shaft. It’s a total mood killer. . “Is he dead?” When you find yourself at a loss for words upon finding the dead body of your waiter, Miguel, hanging from a meat hook inside the walk-in freezer, try to avoid asking obvious questions to fill that silence. It may seem like a valid conversation starter, but don’t feel like you have to fill every moment of the date with wall-to-wall conversation. Silence can be a good thing. It can allow you to gaze into each other’s eyes and connect on a non-verbal level. . Plus, the razor sharp hook piercing poor Miguel’s chest is a dead giveaway. @fosterholme #murdermystery #dinnerandashow #hauntedrestaurant #horrordate #datingnightmares https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs6lbaMnXU-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1gcf754a17jlp

So I’m a 30 something y/o single, “young-professional.” I have been doing some version of online/artificial dating for 6 + years and also do the IRL dating when the opportunity presents itself. When I first started really doing the “dating” thing after college,I would always update my grandma of my escapades. She was entertained and enjoyed my stories but always reminded me of her dating record, 35 first dates after her late husband passed. I do wish she was still here so I could proudly tell her I have been on over 100 first dates (not counting but that number even seems too conservative). I have been on all the apps and dating sites. I have met the good, the bad and the ugly. I have been courted, complimented,  hit on, asked out, propositioned, and also verbally assaulted. It has been a wild ride but at the same time I truly believe I will look back at this experience fondly because I have quite literally seen it all. My friends have always said I could “write a book” about some of these interactions and “dates. This blog will document some of my experiences, provide dating “tips,” share of the epiphanies i have had through this process, and (hopefully interesting) stream of consciousness. Enjoy!