#dashcon sauron

Gandalf Big Naturals, behold my creation! You can vex me no longer, for I have edited tribute given by my faithful servant @micahsweirdworld to show YOU getting blown the fuck up by my Sick Laser Beam!!! THAT'S HOW IT FEELS, YOU BIG-TITTIED HOBBIT-LOVER! YOU TRY EXPLODING FOR NO REASON RIGHT WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO MAKE A COMBACK!!

Ah Yes, a most Splendiferous piece of tribute. I recall the two souls leading the discussion that day. Intriguing mortals. They were able to command the adoration of quite the large crowd. It was superbly beneficial to have my Eye floating above the throng so that I could Observe them.

You will be spared my wrath the next time Glob or some other useless orc gets on my nerves again.

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From Glob (admin):

Stupendous report. You are correct, my subject. It was my intention to obscure the view of every panelist in order to cause Maximum Suffering. My Eye should be the only sight you wish to see at DashCon. It was also VITALLY NECESSARY to Observe every room in case any hobbits were hiding under the tables or something. I swear they're fucking everywhere these days.

EVIL BLESSINGS UPON YOU. MAY THY ENEMIES STEPPETH ON 4-SIDED DICE.

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From Glob (admin):

I assume this inquiry is directed towards I, 🔥Sauron the Abhorred🔥, but the true Darkest One is Morgoth. You flatter me with the comparison, my anonymous subject. He is unavailable to answer, but on his behalf I may offer that he enjoys tacos, sausages, corndogs, and many other varieties of vaguely sexual foodstuffs.