#dash stretch

(More pages under the cut)

this is the most in character thing ive ever seen

HOWDY FOLKS, WELCOME BACK TO CORNER BOT, YOUR NUMBER ONE DESTINATION FOR ALL THINGS THAT DON’T NEED TO BE COMMENTED ON, BUT ARE ANYWAY! I’M YOUR FAVORITE BOT, CUBOT! AND THE ROUNDER GUY IS ORBOT. IF YOU’RE JUST JOINING US, WE JUST TOOK A LOOK AT A PRETTY INTENSE RACE AND IT CAME DOWN TO THE WIRE FOR TEAM SONIC AND TEAM DARK! 

While it would make perfect sense for Sonic to win, seeing as how the title is in his namesake, let’t take a look at the footage.

O: That was a little hard to see, let’s take it frame by frame.

O: It looks like Shadow has the lead here, but Sonic quickly catches up.

C: THEY’RE PRACTICALLY NECKIN’ IT!!! 

O: You probably don’t want to say that on air.

C: I THINK SHADOW STILL HAS THE LEAD THOUGH!!!

O: Ohhh, that is not looking good for Shadow.

C: MAYBE THEY SHOULDA CALLED IT “TEAM DARK RACING” IF HE WANTED TO WIN!!

THERE IT IS!!! IT’S TEAM SONIC!!! TEAM SONIC WINS!!!!

now i get to save up 35k elder water again to finish lily’s last mana node

+ The night didn’t start out too good because it was freaking cold and I made us walk the wrong direction for an extended period of time (I felt so bad!!!)

+ It worked out in the end though - when we finally got to The Knitting Factory, they were just starting the line-up. We ended up third and fourth in line! And once inside we got right in front of the stage!

+ Luis was over at the merch table before the show started and HE’S SO NICE???? I picked up a hoodie, a poster, and his first EP (pictures tommorrow) and when I asked if he would sign the poster he was like “of course, of course! thank you so much”

+ Later on when I went to take a picture with him I gave him a hug and told him that this was the best show I had been to (which is true!!), and he thanked me and called me beautiful which MADE MY LIFE

+ The first opener was hey! dw and HOLY SHIT she was amazing. She was totally killing it on the drums - I felt the vibrations through my entire body. I wanted to pick up a jersey and get a picture with her after the show, but the merch area was totally swamped by then. I would totally recommend looking her up though - her stuff is great.

+ The next performance was Phone Call. Very different from hey! dw, but I still enjoyed it a lot. I may not have jumped around as much as I did with hey! dw, but I still got pretty into it.

+ THEN MYSTERY SKULLS. This was obviously what most people came for, and the venue was definitely more crowded by then. On stage was Luis, hey! dw on drums, Snow Blood who was GORGEOUS, and Deszmond who had multiple costume changes and was an AMAZING dancer (I got to touch their hands!!!)

+ Considering how soft-spoken he was face-to-face, it’s amazing how he can turn on the charisma once he’s on stage. The energy is the room was electric - the crowd was going wild, myself included.

+ I can’t remember all the songs that were played but I know there was One of Us, Paralyzed, Money (!!!), and Hellbent. There was also a remix he did for Marilyn Manson. We were all screaming and jumping and singing along. Then Magic came on and we all lost our collective shits.

+ Once Mystery Skulls was finished and we off stage we started chanting ‘Encore!’, so they came back and OF COURSE played Ghost. Cue the second coming of us losing our collective shits.

   Within the vast Gerudo desert of Hyrule, known to the Gerudo themselves as Inha, a race of extremely tall dark skinned people lives and thrives. Though the heat in the desert is as unforgiving as the cold of their nighttime winds, the Gerudo build their lives within the borders that the neighbouring mountains create for their desert. 

   Although the Gerudo acknowledge and worship Hylia and the three Golden Goddesses as well, their primary deity and religion is based around the worship of the Sand Goddess. The Sand Goddess is an enigmatic deity, the truth of her being lost to the annals of time. The Gerudo are perhaps some of the only ones who still hold worship of her, as most of Hyrule has forgotten her sacred name.

    In the time of Hylia and Demise, Hylia was not the only goddess who walked the earth. Gandora lived, the Guardian of the desert, creator of the people who lived within. She tried with all her might to remain neutral in the combat between her sister and the demon, hoping to keep her people safe from the conflict. Demise wanted to rule all of the new land he had found, though; and so he turned his sights on Gandora, and her people.

   She fought hard to protect them. Imbuing the willing with an undying fighting spirit, she bolstered them and battled at their sides; ultimately, though, she fell to the Demon King’s might. Hylia came to aid her, but not before her sister lost her physical form.

   A guardian of spirit, Gandora was left as a spirit herself; but, she was far from helpless. She fought at her sister’s side to chase Demise from their land, entrusting her people into Hylia’s care; and in return, she facilitated her sister’s wish to enter the cycle of rebirth, to stop Demise once and for all.

    Gandora’s primary epithets are the Sand Goddess, and the Goddess of Spirit. Her name is sacred, & to be spoken only by her clerics. Often, though, variations of her true name are used to christen mortal born children, to bless them as a member of the Gerudo & to baptize them into her religion. These children are named in ceremonies lead by the clerics of Spirit, and often become clerics themselves.

    Gandora’s presence is everywhere throughout Hyrule, guiding spirits through their own cycle of rebirth and to the afterlife. Her work in the world is carried out by poes, spirits from purgatory who seek to redeem their sins by guiding lost souls to Gandora’s awaiting arms. Once their service is through, they earn their place once more in the cycle of rebirth. Occasionally, these poes may also serve as guides for the lost living, bringing them to the doorstep of Gandora’s temple for safekeeping. 

    Though the Gerudo are capable of reproduction via intercourse, it is rare for them to become pregnant from such means. Instead, it is through their Sand Goddess that they receive the blessing of a soul to birth. By entering the temple and offering prayer, they are gifted with a soul to bring back into the world. It is their belief that these souls are protected by their goddess in a sacred cycle of reincarnation.

    Every soul given to a willing mother will result in a female child. Male Gerudo children are only possible through intercourse; this is, perhaps, why the incarnation of Demise’s Hatred has thus far been male, when it appears within their tribe. Their Goddess will not handle such a tainted soul, and leaves it in Limbo in the hopes that it will struggle to find it’s way back to the mortal plane.

    Thanks to their religious beliefs, and due to the fact that they are primarily a sapphic society, it is exceedingly rare for male Gerudo children to be born. It is not a fact that only one male is born every 100 years; it’s simply highly unlikely.

     Once every 100 years, though, there is a special child born into the Gerudo tribe, destined to become the Guardian of their people and the desert. Some of these Destined Children discover who they are fairly early on in their lives, while some don’t discover their destiny until adulthood; this is accomplished through meditation, and some assistance from the clerics of Gandora themselves. 

    How exactly this child is to assist the Gerudo differs from Destined to Destined; some have become Kings, while others were warriors, explorers, or clerics. Each chooses their own path through life, but all have had a profound effect upon their people in the years that they have lived.

     There is no law that requires the Destined become their King, however it is common. In this century, the Destined Child was the one who was ultimately chosen to represent the Gerudo as their Paladin.

    All of the Gerudo Desert is ruled by one King, or rather, a Tif*; this term is considered gender neutral by the Gerudos, but has in the past lead Hyrule to believe that the job is reserved for males alone. The Tif is not the only leader throughout the desert, though.

    Throughout the vast desert, smaller provinces are ruled by chiefs. Each province’s chief has a seat on the Gerudo Council, and the King is chosen from within these individuals. Most of the seats are held by chiefs, as it is one of the only ways to become a member of the council. One seat is reserved for the chosen representative from the clerics of Gandora, however, and other citizens of the desert can earn a seat by doing a great service for the desert as a whole. There is one seat, though, that is earned simply by birth. That, of course, is reserved for the Destined child, born every 100 years, should they so desire it.

    This council works side by side with their Tif, ensuring that the entire desert is best represented and ruled by their King. How chiefs are chosen within their provinces varies from place to place, with some being by strength, while others rule by bloodline of mother to daughter.

  The King, whoever they may be, must pass an ancient test known as the Tif Michu, or the King Trials, to earn their place upon the throne. These trials test not only a Tif’s strength and power, but their courage, wisdom, and devotion to Gandora and their people.

   The King Trials are held when the current King is ready to step down; commonly, this is done as the King reaches old age, enabling any of the council to challenge the Trials. Sometimes, though, a King can decide that they have served long enough, are not equipped to lead. Regardless of the reason, once the King decides to step down, the Trials are held.

    If more than one of the council members succeeds in the trials, they then face off in a final test, set by the current Tif. Commonly, this is a one on one battle, with the winner claiming the throne as theirs. This final battle is not to the death, and is based upon a tradition of their ruler fighting to defend their country, as Gandora once did.

    Once a King has taken the throne, it takes the agreement of at least seventy five percent of the Council to have them removed. This makes it exceedingly difficult for anyone not on the council and in a minority opinion of their ruler to have their views voiced, not to mention for a Tif to be dethroned.

    Every Tif has the right to choose their second in command, which can be any Gerudo throughout the desert. This second in command - Tif Ésha - is often someone else who has completed the king trials, but it is not required. They are someone the Tif trusts, who gives them advice when the council is not gathered, and who speaks for them on the rare occasions when they are away.

     Twenty years ago, before the Betrayal™, Inha counted itself among the allied states of Hyrule. They valued their independence, though, and while they were allied with Hyrule and it’s monarchy, they had a King of their own as well. While the old monarchy was in place, was not as much of an issue; their generally vague standing as a country versus a state did not matter, as there was no real need for them to be bold in their claim of independence - it was, freely, given. 

     This changed, of course, when the Beast and the Betrayer took over. Though the Gerudo were no longer as willing to count themselves allies, their questionable status as a different country put them in a strange situation. Pulling out entirely, suddenly, would likely start an all out war with Hyrule that they could not afford, and many on the council did not want to risk the Beast’s rage after what happened to Hyrule’s own monarchy.

     Thus, their King decided to err on the side of caution, maintaining trade with Hyrule but tightening it’s borders considerably. They offer little in the way of martial support, requiring none to offer their services as soldiers to the Hyrulean army; an interesting change, as many Gerudo counted themselves among their ranks before. Their King has pointed out time and again that they were never required to do so, however, and maintains that the Gerudo soldiers owe loyalty to the desert first and foremost – a position that places them at odds, on occasion, with Beast Allied forces.

     Though some argue that Inha is allied with the Rebel forces, the Gerudo themselves seem to refuse to take sides. They claim neutrality in the issue, and as Gandora once did in the battle between Hylia and Demise, turn their attention inward, to their own people. 

   Within Inha, there are six provinces, each presided over by a chief. These provinces are Taruma, Karusa, Granajh, Palu, Taafei, and Naboris.

  Their capitol is Kast, a sprawling city known for the leviathan bones that are preserved within it’s limits. It is here that their King, or Tif, resides. Kast is located in Naboris, the southernmost province, farthest from the border.  

   Another famed city within Inha is their historic Gerudo Town; smaller than Kast, but perhaps more famous throughout the world, Gerudo Town allows only women within it’s walls. All those identifying as female are allowed within, to visit or to live; not even the Betrayer is able to break or circumvent this sacred edict. This is the capitol city of the province of Palu.

     Those seeking to visit the desert will find themselves sorely disappointed, though – even merchants who have long traded with the Gerudo are scrutinized at the borders, and many smaller towns are allowing only Gerudo citizens through their walls. Those travelling the desert are cautioned to be careful, and to not rely on towns or villages for support or shelter; many can and will find themselves left to the elements overnight, instead.