#darkshadows93

“I will say this generation of doctors and nurses aren’t like they used to be back in the day.”

I finally watched the Season 2 finale and I have thoughts and feelings.

“Alright, alright. I’ll see what I can do.” Abbot hummed loudly as he nervously looked down at the crying baby, “But he’s a grown-up, Dana. He’s going to choose what and when he’s going to listen.”

“Robby,” Dennis shook his head, sucking in a harsh breath as he glanced up towards the dark sky while fireworks flickered above them, “Why did you tell me I could keep it if you don’t come back?” Robby paused, neither of them pulling away from the proximity of their bodies, their hands still entwined with the note and set of keys acting as a barrier. His brown furrowed, forming deep ridges as he silently pondered, lips opened in hesitation, and he released a bitter laugh, “I…. Things tend to happen out on the open road. Unexpected things like accidents, medical emergencies, getting lost in the woods…”  He didn’t have to finish the sentence for Dennis to know what he was saying. He felt Dennis' hand tighten beneath his own; he couldn’t bear to look at his perfect sky-blue eyes out of disappointment. Robby didn’t have to look up to see the shocked expression before it metamorphosed into the stoic clinician stare.  “But are you planning on coming back?” “I don’t know, kid,” Robby admitted softly, “There are not a lot of things left for me here. I-” “I want you to stay,” Dennis cut in, desperately pausing before quickly finishing, “If that matters.” “You don’t know what you want, Whitaker,” Robby whined in a low, anguished breath “Maybe, I don’t.” Dennis shrugged in agreement, “But I’m trying to give you a reason to stay, if not that, just a reason to come back home.”

“I'm fine.” The words came out harsher than he wanted. The whole week, he had been more testy, wound up tighter than a spring ready to implode. Santos had once joked it was his man period, but even she didn't know the whole story.  In reality, he was anxious, restless. Trapped between saving every little amount of cash to travel back home, even though it was against the better wishes of his already crippling mental health. Afraid to let anyone close to him in and know about it, like it was a dirty little secret. Not even Robby knows. They've been together for half a year, and Dennis still holds his cards close to his chest. He didn't want to place the burden on him. He wasn't exactly fine either. They were just two broken people struggling to hold themselves together when the darkness came. It was probably best that he didn't know. It was a struggle, but it was for the best. It had to happen. He always came home in June. Even if it was for a day or a week. Even when everyone in the town despised him for being different and wanted to ensure that he was. ostracized. It may not be against federal law to be gay in Broken Bow, but they ensured that in the court of public opinion, being gay was a death sentence. But he persisted, he still returned home, slept in parks and abandoned houses if he had to, but he always made sure that he returned to the places where they were together and made him who he is today. To remember the sacrifice and pain that they shared. He always returned home to remember him. Dennis bit down on his lips as he noticed Doctor Robby’s stare, the way the creases in his forehead only deepened in worry as his head tilted slightly as if he knew things were truly not okay. It was one of the features about him that Dennis loved but utterly despised. Robby had made it a habit to read into people, to get the truth, or to convince others to do things. It was probably why he was so damn good at his job. 

“So that's it, then? You're willing to burn down our bridge, too, huh?” Dana huffed out as Robby turned away, walking to the door, “Fucking asshole! I'm not gonna let you do that, Robby! Believe it or not, people fucking care about you and your narcissistic ass. You can run all you want, burn all of the fucking bridges, and go on your death parade. I don’t care, but you will not burn down this one.” “You’ve been in healthcare long enough to know when a patient is beyond saving, Dana.” Robby pointed out as he glanced back. “Who's said you were beyond saving, Robby? Was it yourself, or is this what your head has been telling you?” “Doesn’t matter anymore.” Robby sighed as he opened up the break room door, as the chaos of the ED flooded them with the noises of pain, suffering, and death.  Oh, so much death.