#darklypse

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐒 ,　　MOODBOARD .

“ make this easy for me. ”　　@darklypse

❝ …is it too late for us? ❞　　　✉　　　@darklypse.

hadn't she anticipated this all from the very beginning? after the walls went up and the heaviness of a community fell solely upon her shoulders? finding solace in somebody had been the furthest from her mind... until he came along. the warmth of a crackling campfire hidden within his smile and dazzling eyes, charming her in ways that ought to put her to shame. it didn't seem to matter when he'd managed to pull her out from the darkest, most gruesome parts of herself she'd tried desperately to keep hidden beneath the surface. he shared his own demons, made her feel seen – less horrific, more human than she's ever possibly felt. the type of love she never knew existed. no matter the lifetime, it would always be tommy – there wasn't anybody else for her.

(she ought to have known it would never be that simple when it came to love)

she knows it started long before joel arrived; it wouldn't have been fair to place the blame on a man merely seeking out the last shred of family he had. tommy could make his own decisions... even if maria felt like sometimes he followed blindly without thinking. she let it pass, despite growing up as an only child, she still collected the same amount of grief that bent her in unfathomable ways. she knew it would destroy tommy – she had been so foolish to believe he'd allow her in to tend and care to each daunting pang beneath his chest.

the distance kept growing between them till maria wasn't even sure whether the man she loved was alive or dead out there. it had turned out to be much worse; a chill had swept through her body while bones rattled at the mere thought of him trapped inside his own mind, forced to abide by the cordyceps rules till he was all but consumed. gone insane as the cordyceps consumed him. it had been nice living in a bubble of safety constructed with heavy walls and filled with hope and nothing but it. she held on despite the agony spiraling through her. forcing a smile as she greeted the community each day. lying, lying, lying. oh, maria, where's tommy? and ellie? the absence of her family was noticeable. the days continued despite the eagerness to hide and cower away.

how was she supposed to carry on and provide for a community when the organ beneath her chest had stopped beating and shattered into pieces?

“ i thought we'd grow old together. it wasn't even an if. ”　it burns through her, this wretched feeling she'd been desperately keeping locked away. the bolts had started to loosen and come undone, the issues only growing, growing, growing. there was no stopping the collision of it all. she couldn't expect this wreckage inside herself to stay so contained when it was already bursting at the seems. one more. that's all it'd take until it came down completely and she was nothing but skin and bone.　“ i don't know who you are anymore, tommy. it kills me. because i love you! i will always love you. ”　there's no helping the liquid in her eyes betraying her as it bestows down her face. her insides twist in different directions as she grips onto the nearest surface – anything to keep her steady and afloat. she can't look at him, not when he'd turned into somebody she hardly recognised.　“ you left. you left this place and me behind! like we were nothing! you destroyed it all... and for what? revenge? you know that's not what joel wanted for you. ”　she'd been apprehensive at first; despite the inkling and desire to know her husband's brother. it hadn't been until they'd properly settled into jackson did she first start picking up on just how much joel had influenced tommy. in more ways than one. but he also looked at her husband in a way that felt familiar; it was the same look she'd seen her father giving her, the one that people continued to tell her about time and time again like it didn't kill her inside completely.

“ you don't get to put this on me, tommy. the end of you and i will not fall on my shoulders. not when i've been running this place all by myself! ”

INCOMING RADIO TRANSMISSION FROM TESS, CALLSIGN @darklypse: “ the longer we wait, the more screwed we are. ”

tess is right. she knows it, jill knows it — a rotting corpse would know it. and while jill has never been one to lean into inaction, there's still something holding her back. anchoring her. keeping her from running head first into the fire without so much as a second thought. experience; it's a cruel and calculated teacher with a modus operandi entirely contingent upon repetition. she's seen this play out before, a hundred different disastrous ways, all starting the same: a need to act fast, think later. strike now or lose out on something valuable. convenient.

❛ how screwed are we if we rush in and it's an ambush? ❜ rhetorical question — she already knows the answer. lived it — many times. the years pass, the locations change, more lines form on her face, and yet the story is always the same. so what do they do?

meet in the middle. or, as close to the middle as possible.

𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 ,　　@darklypse .

𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 ,　　@darklypse .

❝ here you go,　ellie　—　hope you like blt's,　minus the b. ❞　　lips crack at the sides,　a breath spilling out as it tangles into the thick jackson air.　despite the crisp air that made the tips of her fingers turn blue the more she submerged them beneath the snow,　she was fond of winter.　she places one of the wrapped sandwiches down before the other,　sitting herself opposite as she begin's to unwrap her own and take a bite.

“ you really shouldn’t be out here all on your own. ”

' pretty sure i can handle myself. '　　she almost speaks,　lips barely gaping as she remains still,　sight focused ahead as she refrains from scoffing,　rolling her eyes to the back of her head as the anger begins to bubble and boil deep below.　of course life couldn't slow itself down and retreat back to what they all once knew,　twenty years in and you'd think she'd have gotten used to it all by now;　overgrown fungus,　the death hungry and ready to feast on human flesh as the earth decays and moves on with or without them.　jackson was supposed to be another shot at what they all craved　—　of what her father and her had built from the ground up.　a safe place to call home.