#dark widow

Explanations:

Speed and Sting being besties. Web Spider’s hobbies (cooking, reading, knitting and whittling). A DarkWeb fanchild. Her name is Dark Widow. Speed’s confrontation with Web Spider.

- OKAY SO Natasha and Yelena get married because OBVIOUSLY they are in love, right? Yeppers, that's what we're going with.

-I mean Yelena Belova is very much meant to be with Natasha Romanoff. It's love *presses fist against your face* shhhhh let me have this, okay? SO THEY HAVE THEIR SUPER SPY WEDDING WITH CLINT AS MAID OF HONOR AND DEADPOOL AS THE ENTERTAINMENT AND THEY'RE LIVING THEIR HAPPY LIVES, RIGHT?

-So then Ava Orlova at fourteen escapes SHIELD with her very few spy skills like the regular story of the Red Widow except somehow she gets into some trouble, and these two lovely wives stumble upon them.

-And after they save Ava Orlova and Natasha's like 'hello little red headed teenager that I saved from the russian mafia many years ago. Yes, it is I, the Black Widow. Sorry I did not come back for you when you were nine :/ '

- And Yelena? She pulls a Batman and just fucking goes for it. YES HELLO LITTLE SPIDER, IT IS I, YOUR NEW MAMA. YOU ARE AN ORPHAN? AH YES, PERFECT. SHHHH COME TO YOUR MOTHERS. NATASHA, WE'RE KEEPING IT, I'M KEEPING IT. COME HERE AVA. LET MAMA YELENA SHOW YOU HOW TO PROPERLY BREAK A MAN'S NECK WITH YOUR THIGHS. NATASHA GET THE CAMERA AND CALL JAMES.

Dark Widow

3.5 out of 5 Stars

Chief: Cate Shortland

Essayist: Jac Schaeffer, Ned Benson, Eric Pearson, Stan Lee, Don Heck, Don Rico