#dark ken

Recognising a Ken doll is easy, you would doubt yourself when you look into Polly Pockets, you were absolutely sure Sabrina Carpenter was one, but who knows?

He looked ragged and tired, it was like looking into a dirty abandoned puppy golden retriever.

And you know something?

He doesn't have a collar, yet!

It was snowing, a fucking cliché, but it was worse when he is using very little cover, and he was trying his best not to shiver.

"You are from Barbieland, right?" You asked him, he jumped at the question, he must not had saw you, he must be exhausted, and maybe hungry too.

His big blue eyes popped up to you as he left the tiny swing his grown ass bubble butt was trying to fit into.

You just know it's a Ken when you find a tonified blond man not understanding what a children's park are for at 3 am.

You threw the tail of your cigarette, he must be unused to smoke.

"Yeah! Do you know how to get there? I tried talking to a bunch of dudes in the corner, and they beat me up!" He looks fucked up, and looking at the corner of the street, the same drug dealers they like to waste air are still there, looking at him like orcas look at sealions when they are bored. "I thought patriarchy would reunite us, bond men to man, isn't that suppose to happen?"

You don't weird out because you were in his same spot years ago. Just mumbling jackshit everywhere you could, it was kinda concerning, his jackshit were about patriarchy, but he must have his reasons.

Reasons you have the task to crash or he would become into another red pilled podcaster.

"I need to get back..." He was on the edge of tears, you had this immense desire to hug him, comfort him, but you were a stranger, so you caressed his forearm instead.

"I know," you said, you two locked eyes and comprehend exactly what his trouble was.

He cannot come back because he is not a doll anymore.

He was a real man.

"Do you have somewhere to stay?" You asked, still wanting a cigarette, but you need to wash this puppy first.

He wiped his loose tears and sniffed his nose, he crossed his buffy arms around his chest.

"Well... This park is nice," he simply said, and you had to grab his hand to guide him to your apartment, feeling like a creep kidnapping a child.

But you pictured him like a puppy, over and over in your mind.

"Why do you look so weird?" He asked when you two were in the elevator.

It could be easy to feel attacked at his question, but he is a Ken, the only colours he has seen are pink and pastels.

"I just to be a doll just like you, different, but a doll," you said calmly, you could picture him, his ears up in interest and a tilted head.

"Really?! What happened? Could you go back?' He asked, like in a slap of overjoy after a hole depressing cold walk.

You want another cigarette desperately.

"I got curious, I stopped being a doll, and now I'm an alternative human being who is an academic," you said, stepping out of the elevator, with him following you at your shoulder.

Washing him at the bathtub was easier, it's what you believed.

He is still not self aware of shame, genitals, sex, or anything.

Wow, it is going to be literally adopting a puppy would be like, OK.

That's exactly what Magda must have felt with you when she found you years ago.

Magda is a seventy year old cool woman who found you, just like you did with Ken, she is the closest you will ever get to have to a real mother.

You still visit her every Sunday.

It was time to make a karmic retribution.

You gave him the biggest sweater you had, and the baggiest sweatpants you owned, you weren't short; your eyes could reach to watch his chin directly, so it fitted well, the few inches missing of fabric were compensated by fluffy socks and answering his never ending questions.

"How can you stop being a doll?" He asked while you prepared the bed.

"By asking too many questions, being unlikable, spending too much time in the real world, or all the three above." In his case, you may guess he was the all above, by the time he wanted to return home, it was too late.

"How did you get stuck here?" He asked, getting under the covers of your bed.

You have heard curious things about Barbieland, like Kens dont have houses, they sleep on the floors or anywhere.

Well, that's a rumour.

He needs a real bed and company.

"Because I became unlikable, I wanted more than just being pretty and using high heels in high school," you said. You still use high heels at college, but now you can pass for the same algebra problems for yeras as you can now write papers on topics you may like.

"Are you more than just being pretty in high heels? Because you are still very pretty," he said, making you blush, burning kind of flush.

"Y-yeah... Good night, Ken," he said good night to you, tasting the way he said your name.

You are still going to kick him out of your bed the second he asks about sex, or why he has to keep his balls inside his boxers.

...

"Why can't I have a job? I'm a man, I should be on the top of the world!" He asked, taking the breakfast you prepared him, he only uses the plate with a horse in it.

"You need real life experience, know what makes you good in life, study in a university, and later, when you graduate, you will do whatever you like because you are white, blond and very attractive." Admitting how attractive he is didn't feel dirty or anything, it was true, like telling the flowers what they are, they just know.

"Oh... Study college, OK, got it! Where do I can get into one?" He asked, making you hard to swallow your coffee.

Magda had to home school you for years, study, take extra jobs... It was hell.

You took the week off, that's the kind of liberty you can give you once in a while to take a week or so for working on other matters than the academic papers.

Now, you have to lock in on how to teach this puppy of a man how to survive as an ex doll.

Firstly, clothing.

Thank God you win a really good salary by your dream job, otherwise you two would be screwed.

You bought him a full, basic closet, even a swimsuit because he insists he can use it for a next job, when they accept him as a beach man.

What ever that job is about.

He used the guest room closet, where his official room would be, but for now, basic stuff.

How to clean the house.

It took him A LOT to understand why you should broom before mopping, and why he needs to do it daily.

"What is the point of doing this if it keeps getting dirty everyday. Shouldn't the real world Barbie's can't invent a way to keep floors clean for a longer period of time???" You called it the 'doll panic', not a very creative word for it, but the questioning is real.

Like, you used to believe that going to high school in six-inch heels was normal.

Or why is Halloween only once a year?

It's the only day of the year you can truly feel normal.

You just let him have his questions and be there in his panic.

It took him longer to cook, he cut his finger twice, and ended up at the hospital getting hit by every gay nurse around. And now he understands that, in every visit, it costs a fortune and the system is painfully slow.

"If someone could have warned me that we would be waiting for five hours, I would have used gloves! Why do they make knives that sharp if accidents like these happen???" He shouts in the car, it's funny, Ken is so fun.

Why would you were alone all the time anyway?

You canno't grasp on the why.

He was still using a lot of pink, and he wants to try on your outfits, but he is too big, too much muscle over muscle to fit, it was a joy watching him trying to fit on your skirts.

He discovered TV, and the power of watching shows, movies, documentaries.

He cried for hours after watching 'The sheep detectives', don't worry, he didn't cried alone.

He can now shower alone, he uses your stuff, you had an extra toothbrush for him, but after coming out of the shower, he stands up before you of the living room door frame and takes up his most puppy eyes he can do to you.

"Can I buy myself my own bathroom products?" He begged, it was wierd for him to point he would buy it because even spiders are wealthier than him.

"Sure... What's wrong with mine?" You asked, by pure curiosity.

"I don't like smelling like mango, that's your thing, I like your smell," he wants to have his own smell.

You get it.

He is finally self aware, creating a full personality.

He didn't like anything from the men's aisle, so he chose in the women's section because "why do enterprises only give more options to women? Men's options are boring!" Well, you had a long explanation of the consequences of patriarchy while he held his new bathroom essentials that mostly smell like strawberries and whipcream, Coco and Seafoam.

He smells irresistible, by the way, and it's making you nuts!

On Saturday, he just breaks, while you were reading before sleeping.

"I think I got disliked because of my patriarchal thoughts, no one wants a doll that smells of leather, horse shit and gasoline..." He said, almost to himself.

You nod, maybe it is true.

"I got disliked because I wanted to be something else, rather than be a collectible, I was a Monster High, it was ironic that I was overlooked as just a doll, but I became monstrous because I didn't wanted to be tamed. That's what happens to people, Ken, we get disliked, it just happens," you said, taking away your book.

He went dead silent, you knew it wounded him.

You had to go through that, and more.

"Would I ever be liked again?" He asked, like a child to mercy.

You held your tears back.

"The greatest tragedy in life is that you will always going to be loved, in any shape or form. And also, I like you Ken, I like you very much," you said, smiling towards your puppy boy.

He hugged you tightly, almost choking you on the mattress.

You two went to sleep like that.

And it was peaceful.

You have never had something like this before.

...

We visited Magda the next day.

As Sundays promise to be.

He thought collecting the little flowers that bloom on the side of the frozen road could be nice for her, he is still trying to be likeable.

"Child! Oh... who is this beauty?" She stopped just to look at Ken, well, admire Ken. "Good heavens, they are making these dolls more beautifully impossible!"

Ken was shocked, for saying the least, but he relent her pets like the puppy man he is.

Magda fell in love with him immediately, she lives an hour journey away from the city, in the woods, she plants her own food; because you suspect that was the only way she could survive back in the day. She doesn't see much people around, she is also a beekeeper, even bees are better friends than humans for her.

"He is formidable! Just look at that bone structure," she said after feeding him three potatoes sacks of cookies; he is still trying to eat them all.

He will find out about calorie consumption soon, but you will let him keep his happiness still.

"Not my type though, I like G.I. Joe's!" She said after barking in laughter.

You laughed too, Ken is getting so much fun, asking her a ton of questions about honey and bees.

It was cute.

"How did you know so much about dolls, anyway?" He asked her after he was battling not to puke all he ate.

"Oh, well, that's a funny story," she said, accommodating the honey bottles on the wooden box she always uses to travel with, she sells them.

"She was a rag doll," you said, taking a sip of your honey tea.

"Back in the day, the cheapest way for girls to own dolls, rather than those awful creepy porcelain dolls!" She has a true hate for porcelain babies, like cats and dogs, she can't with them.

You witnessed one time when Magda had a street fight with a real life porcelain doll, there was blood involved, two old ladies fighting like cats at four am.

"Dolls can be made of other materials?" We hold our laughter, because his question was dumb but genuine.

Magda has five cats and three big dogs, Ken is new at everything, even pets with no wheels in their paws.

You wanted pets, but work steps in your way.

He was well entertained with the curious animals, smelling and asking for his attention; he didn't know how to respond.

"You can leave him here with me," she said, looking at him the same way you did the last time.

"Are you sure? He is very energetic." You liked him, but his energy could be used to power a whole city.

"Sure, I will return him to you drained, I have a shit ton of things he can do, also, he needs to be home schooled." She mentioned that before, she also had a Magda.

A spinster woman who lived alone in the woods found her, Magda was just a child when she turned into a real little girl.

She disguised herself as her mother, and that's why she could go to school, and inherit the house and the ground when she passed.

"He will be an excellent husband to you," she said, making you freeze.

"What?" You asked her, horrified.

It felt wrong, thinking of him as something other than a puppy.

"Don't act surprised, you know he is good looking with a heart of gold, you will see how you react when he starts behaving like a real man," she said, it wasn't a warning, but a fact.

"Is this a love demonstration?" Ken shouts pointing at us at Magda's dog pissing on him.

...

Ken was dropped every day at Magda's house every morning, an hour earlier if your schedule, that part sucked, but it was worth it, because Ken started to develop immensely fast. And Magda said what she was suppose to do with him, she drain the man to the shreads.

One day he was asking why the microwave heated things, to pass on having a full conversation about how can we make crops.

He understands basic economics and how much life is worth, he is self aware about his weight over your economic status, and he felt the immense rush on looking for a job, just to discover that even to become a gasoline cashier, he would need high school studies.

So he made himself useful at home, it became even more useful when he learned how to drive, and not killing anybody in the process.

"I don't like cars," he said with a big, fat smile, it was contagious.

"Me too," you said, you liked him a lot! He was starting to grow as a person and still remain that golden heart, even in the pit of the wolves to torn apart.

Well, there's something about dolls, is that no matter if they have a real body and real life consequences.

You still keep a bit of truth in yourself alive, no matter how much you change, it will hold on you forever.

Magda holds that cosiness ragdolls have, she wasn't made for fashion or vanity, she is companionship and warmth that every child deserves, because even poor children deserve the wormth company can give.

You were a Monster High, you embraced your weirdness and took the place the world didn't want for you to find, you still hold the beauty of a monstrous doll.

And Ken holds the childlike wonder of a doll that was created to worship his partnership.

Sometimes you try not to think of the Barbie he was supposed to be paired.

That made you uncomfortable, not knowing why.

...

He started visiting you at your desk at college.

Always with a new excuse.

Lunch!

Boredom!

Homework!

You could make it seem he was just a student with questions about his thesis.

But you knew your coworkers were starting to suspect.

"Hey, uhm... Who is that guy you talk so much in the coffee station?" He asked, shoving the papers away into his pink tote bag.

You stopped typing, you had a deadline, and having Ken has distracted you A LOT.

"Ah... Alex?" You asked, frowning.

"Yeah, that guy with boring brown hair and laughs a lot with you, what's with him?" He asked, trying to be nonchalant, but all your years as human cannot prepare you to read a Ken's emotions.

"He is a friend, we laugh, he helps me with the papers sometimes," you said, you and Ken didn't have many filters.

Dolls don't need to lie.

Only Polly Pockets do, and that's why they are short and be cursed to be closer to hell.

"He looks uninteresting, what do you see in him?" He was green, jealous, like lemon green, jealous.

He has been sleeping in the guest room since he started to have the sex talk with Magda, he lied; he just wanted to have his own bed, as much as he wanted his own bathroom products.

It's because her smell turns him on.

His first experience with masturbation was weird, you had to be out so he could experiment, how to be silent about it. You bought him a phone; he is still figuring out how the damn thing works, but he finds a sea of things about romance and porn, and somehow he cannot understand why those two are not the same.

But he wants to make her feel like those screaming women on his screen, he wants to kiss her under the rain like in that movie they watched, 'The Notebook'.

She is his Barbie!

Maybe she is not a Barbie, she is better than a Barbie!

She is smarter than a Barbie, and so hot!!! He could describe everything that he adores about her, name every difference between them and still fell deeper in love with her.

She doesn't deserve to be laughing with a Mister Nobody using vans with khaki pants!

She shrugs.

"I see work," you came back to your paper.

Ken stayed on your cubicle reading a book, asked him to read, they are into the non boring classics, then he will shut his pants with 'the Hunger Games' and others like that.

"Hey! Who is your blonde friend over there? He throws me the dirtiest looks ever, not even my ex students hated me that much," he said, making you scoff, he has a bad reputation as a teacher, and honestly you wouldn't pick him as a student.

You have heard he only leaves the students to make presentations all semester and grade them like if he teached them something.

He sucks as a teacher.

"He is my friend, he doesn't hate you," you said, pouring more coffee, how many cups you had already?

"Sure," he said before leaving, just to jump by, looking behind you.

It was Ken, dead serious.

"Hi, I'm Ken," he said with his hands deep in his fluffy unicorn jacket.

"Alex..." He extended his hand, just to be shaken with a force you could notice it was dead gripping.

"What is happening?" You asked him, he didn't even look at you, he looked like a lion.

"Why are you talking to my girlfriend?" He asked, making you blink, Alex scoffed, flabbergasted.

"I beg your pardon?" You whispered.

"You have a boyfriend?" Alex looks at you, furious, betrayed, wait, why is he angry? You are just friends.

"Yeah, pretty much, and you are hitting on her over my fucking face!" Ken was ready to jump him.

"She didn't even mention you were his boyfriend!" He was red.

"Why don't you tell him you were not hitting on me? Because you were not, right?" You asked him, you will deal with Ken's bullshit later.

Alex remained silent, disgusted by you.

Ken was about to attack him, but you were faster than his arm could lift, so you dragged him out of the building, collecting your stuff running away towards the parking lot.

You were trying to open your car, but you were shaking furious.

"I told you he was hitting on you!" He shouts, as he finally reached you, he took the keys off your fingers.

You look at him with a murderous look, he is about to discover how an ex Monster High is going to explode.

"And if he was hitting, why do you care? Huh?" You try to compose yourself, but you were boiling in dissapointment.

"I care because you are mine! He can't hit on you when you are my Barbie!" He shouts, red, furious, he is about a few minutes before hitting on a high pitch.

"I'm not a fucking Barbie, you have a Barbie, and that's not me!" You started to see blurry because of the tears accumulating in your eyes.

He just smashed you over the concrete wall of the parking lot, it took him a semi long trail from your car towards the wall, sometimes you forget he is a tonified 5'11 man and not just a puppy you made in your mind.

"You-are-mine! Mine, mine, mine, mine! You found me, you keep me, you teach me about the world, and you expect me to take someone else? Huh? You are my life purpose! I was made to adore, serve and please someone, I love you! I'm so in love with you, and you canno't get rid of me! Not like Barbie! Not again..." He shouts in your face as he traps your body with his concrete arms and your feet don't touch the floor. "The biggest reason why I ended up here is because my last Barbie didn't want me..."

Not even in a million years would you have guessed that's how he ended up here.

"How can she not like you?" You asked in a mousy whisper, you both can almost touch your noses by how close your faces are.

He shrugs; it pains him, as if he was the one who failed in life.

"I guess I'm not into Barbies..." He says before suffocating you into a sloppy kiss, yeah, this was Ken's first kiss.

He keeps pushing into you, his kisses, even when you try to escape from them.

"Ken, you don't know how to fucking kiss!" You try to say before he traps you again in the pursuit of crushing your resistance.

"Don't care, you will teach me later, now we kiss!" You keep kissing for an hour in the parking lot, nobody cares about this things on campus.

Guess Magda was right.

Just that Ken is fucking insane.

REMEMBER THAT MOMMY IS OPEN TO REQUESTS, READ YOUR THOUGHTS OR ANYTHING!!!

STAY FREAKYYY POOKIEESSS!!