#darc_light

I asked for help creating a post of my writings and Sir did not disappoint. Here’s the TL;DR, courtesy of @sous-sir  

Open your damned mouth and talk to each other, you’re partners for fucks sake. SAME TEAM!

When your sub says they have a busy mind, they aren't lying.

D/s is a 2-way street, mine happens to have clean clothes.

Bitches love laps.

An introspective relation of our D/s dynamic and how that correlates to the satisfaction of providing fellatio and creating aesthetically pleasing and tidy piles of clothing.

Sometimes being really wet isn't so fun.

Your D can't build the house without all the pieces

Don't let your divorced sister tell you your dynamic is wrong.

Gift packs, check-ins, and lists. How keep your /s sane when away

@nurseaware learns what happens to a smart mouth.

"Good Girl", not just for puppies anymore

There is no such thing as 'perfect' D/s.

Don't listen to nurseaware, I am all that is godly.

I told you bitches love laps.

Every /s is good enough, you just have to help them to believe it

Removing the responsibility mask

D's can fuck up too. Preaching consent.

Navigating dichotomies as a /s

Sous-Sir can tie a cherry stem in a knot with his tongue

Ask for what you need, D's can't read minds.

Laps, the secret cure for a /s mind in negative busy space.

If you give an inch they'll take a mile.

The small things quickly add up to the sum total of what is great about D/s

Examples of small things (There’s supposed to be 30 but /s are notoriously bad at counting)

Take pride in taking care of Sir's property

In the silence of the car ride it was hard to ignore the other passengers in my head. Cancer, one marveled, I can’t believe you got skin cancer in your 30’s. Another fretted, What about the scar? There’s no hiding it right on your nose like that! I rolled my eyes at my own mixed up priorities and almost didn’t notice the little one in the back who just wanted Daddy to make her cauliflower tots and tell her everything would be okay. She would have to wait.

Once home, the focus was quickly back on action. I checked in with my kid on his school work, then hopped on a call with my big boss. I just had to keep moving forward. Before I knew it, Sir was calling to say he was headed home. As we talked my voice started to crack, so I hastily ended the call and poured my energy into making dinner. I don’t remember clearly how the evening unfolded after Sir got home; I was on autopilot. I know at one point he hugged me and I remember thinking ‘No, not yet. I don’t want the kids to see my crying about this.’ So I just stood there, letting him embrace me yet feeling numb.

Eventually, dinner was in the oven and the kids were occupied with other things. DaddySir was sitting on the couch, so I hesitantly approached and sat on the floor beside him. He reached over and started gently stroking my hair. After a moment, I laid my head on his lap and closed my eyes. His hand caressed the back of my neck applying a comforting pressure, coaxing me to let go, and finally I did. With every tear I could feel the fears and frustrations leaving my body, fleeing down my cheeks and soaking into his pant leg. It was the release I had so desperately needed all day. We sat like that for long minutes. There was no need to talk, no pressure to ‘fix’ anything, just the safety and comfort of each other’s presence.

I have never been into pampering in the form of getting my nails done, taking long baths, going to the spa, etc. I learned from my mother early in life that those things are selfish and a waste of time and money. So even though @sous-sir has always encouraged me to do these kinds of things for myself, those early lessons have held firm in my mind.

When we were at kinky camping though, my perspective started to shift. One afternoon, some of the gals decided we needed some pampering. So, we gathered up our chairs (as close a distancing would allow) and lounged in the sun. There were snacks and foot rubs and one of the Dommes offered her sub to paint to our toenails. I agreed to have mine painted and, to my surprise, Sir seemed to delight in selecting which polish I would get (blue with sparkles!). Once they were painted he made a big fuss about how adorable they were and I could tell it genuinely made him happy.

It made me realize how much pleasure it gives him when I allow myself to be given the extra time and attention. For the first time, pampering myself didn’t feel selfish or inappropriate. Instead, it felt like I was doing something good; taking care of his girl, his property.

I’ve been a bit absent here as of late. It’s something I needed as I processed the changes happening within and around me.

I appreciate everyone who has reached out through messages and tags. I’ve seen every one of them and I am lucky to have so many people who care 💜

I don’t know if I have words for everything that has been going through my head, but I’ve got my cuppa and a pen and paper so hopefully the rest will come with time.

Me: I need to be better about writing.

Him: What do you mean?

Me: Ive been carrying this notebook around all day and haven’t written anything I intended to. I did the same thing yesterday and the day before.

Him:

Me:

Him:

Me: writes this post

With it being nearly an hour past bed time I truly thought he’d tell me not to worry about it. I was kind of counting on it tbh. Instead, his entire demeanor shifted as if he suddenly had all the time in the world. “Yep,” was all he said as he casually pulled up a chair and waited for me to complete my task.

I’m joining in this concept started by @smurfettesub. The goal is to show daily real life D/s examples; to help people see the thousands of little moments (rather than the big, dramatic ones) which give meaning to the dynamic.

It really is the little things. 

I knew I wanted to work on the house today. We’ve been pretty busy and the clutter is getting out of hand. But I didn’t really make a plan. So when I got up this morning, I grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down at the computer. It’s been a lovely morning really; chatting with friends and catching up on some of my other social media. But I could feel the anxiety over not having ‘done’ anything starting to creep up. I needed a nudge, and thankfully that’s one of @sous-sir‘s specialties.

I went to Sir and told him I needed to work on the house, but I didn’t have a plan on where or when to start and I would like some help. He asked me a few questions about what specifically I wanted to get done, then said, “Go get a cup of coffee and come talk to me.” When I returned with the coffee he said that we will start with our bedroom at 1:15.