i love finding poetry in the mundane, and yesterday i stumbled upon something that just hits that spot
So, my partner has an old phone- It served them for many years now, but it has one issue: Charging it is hard. Their current charger is hanging on by a thread (literally), and can barely do its job. The phone and the charger came together: They've never used another charger for said phone.
Now, they've tried to replace the charging cord several times. But it doesn't matter how much they've searched what damned specific charger the phone uses, none of them work. They finally decided to bring it to a phone shop and ask what should they use.
The guy at the shop looked at the phone for a bit, and explained: "The port itself is broken. The charger you have works with this phone because they've mutually broken each other into the same shape, in a way that no other charger is shaped. The port itself has corroded in a way that only accepts the charger that shaped it like that in the first place."
And while this is of course a frustrating situation for my partner, I feel like there's a metaphor here. I could write a goddamn story about this. These two half-broken old things have been together for so long they've destroyed each other in a way that keeps them from working with anything else. They've hurt each other in a way that barely keeps them functioning together, and have been rendered useless with literally anything else.
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This is what I mean when I yearn for contemporary fiction that's unreservedly, capital-W Weird. So many anthology publishers and yet many of them never reach this level of purity.
I got to see Pedro Pascal… and he noticed me back…
I still don’t know how to process what happened at CCXP Mexico City.
The whole day honestly felt like a test of faith if not even the whole weekend until Sunday came around.. I waited more than four hours with no real certainty he was even going to appear in that stage. He was never fully confirmed to appear at the mandalorian and grogu tour in Mexico City it was all rumours. But I knew in my heart — and because he was in Mexico filming — that he had to be there. I kept telling myself he was gonna come and that I would check that 3/3 on the space Latinos list I have.
I was high key in the point of mass hysteria when I heard a roar erupt from the stage next to us, where the general panel (not the q&a panel where I was waiting) started and something inside me collapsed. I knew instantly it was him. My body went light. I got dizzy. I wanted to cry. All I could think was: in half an hour, I’m going to see Pedro Pascal with my own eyes.
Nothing prepares you for that moment. Again it was very similar but at the same time different from when I met Oscar. Similar in the sense of traveling to the city and getting nervous, tho with Oscar I almost passed out after meeting him, and it was also very intense.
I’ve loved Pedro Pascal since the Game of Thrones days. Through every era, every role, every interview, every phase of life, I’ve been there, got my own tattoos related to his characters or something of himself. I mostly stay on the margins of the fandom these days; quietly making my little chibis, loving him from afar, keeping him as one of my comfort people and away from all the toxicity there is sometimes around, cause he is after all the kind of person whose presence, even through a screen, has brought warmth to my life on hard days.
Anyways when he walked out, smiling like the human sun that he is, wearing that green Mexican football jersey, being everybody’s tío proudly taking pictures of the people at the crowd. I swear time bent in on itself. He sat right in front of me for around twenty-five minutes and it felt like one second. I blacked out half of it, don’t even ask me what he talked about, cause I have to rewatch that panel cause I ain’t got the faintest idea of what happened. My hands were shaking so badly I could barely function. I was warm, nervous, trembling like crazy, trying to stay present while my brain was short-circuiting.
But when I saw his thumb tattoo? That shit was crazy.
The same tattoo I have on my wrist, matching with my best friends. That almost broke me. I had to fight back tears right there in the crowd. Something about seeing that tiny familiar mark on him, in real life, after carrying my own version of it for so long… it felt too personal, too surreal, too full-circle to explain.
He noticed my drawing too. Pedro made direct eye contact because of my art. I was waving it up in the air and he did a grabby hand motion. Even typing that feels fake. He saw something I made with my own hands. A man who has inspired so much creativity and comfort in me looked back at me because of something I created.
Im again with this question: How do you move on from that?
And the craziest part is that I thought nothing could top my Saturday. I had already lived so many unreal moments at CCXP — seeing the cast of Spider-Man Noir, seeing Paul Wesley, seeing Matt Smith (which is its own insane story for another day). I thought the convention had already given me everything it could possibly give.
Then Mr. Pascal showed up.
And now I’m left with that same strange feeling I had after meeting Oscar Isaac — like it happened to somebody else. Like I’m a fraud retelling someone else’s memory. Like my mind refuses to accept that these things happen to me.
But they did.
I was there. I saw him laugh. I saw the curls up close. I saw the tattoo. He saw my drawing.
And most of all, I saw Pedro being exactly who everyone says he is: warm, playful, speaking Spanish as if google translate was talking in his ear, which was so endearing...
Nothing compares to that.
I think I’ll be processing this for the rest of my life. How was I able to see my two viejos in the span of 6 months after being a fan for over 10 years of both of them? Truly insanity.
Fun facts about my first kiss: The girl was a secretary for a cult in the midwestern United States, she admitted during our month-long 'fling' to one attempted murder, and at one point early in our relationship (if it can be called that), she invited me over to her flat to 'play Mario Kart' while her roommate was away. When I excitedly brought my Nintendo Switch, she was shocked. I ended up leaving the flat shortly after, as it turns out there had been a misunderstanding.
I am Asexual and Aro-Spec. I've been out as one of those two things (often switching back and forth between them as I worked things out) for more than a decade now. It was the first kind of queer that I was openly, as far back as High School.
My first Queer meetup I attended branded me an ally as opposed to a member because Asexuality wasn't considered a kind of 'true' queerness. Let me be clear. Asexuals are queer. Aromantic people are queer. Gatekeeping doesn't help the queer community, it makes us more vulnerable.
One other experience I've had regarding my Asexuality? I've had people (family) suggest that I should start rounds of testosterone to 'fix' it. Asexuality is a normal, beautiful way to be that doesn't need to be fixed.
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the first time I ever gave head I did it in a public elevator in Spain, he was 6 years older than me and I had been teasing him all night while we were out with friends letting him lay on my tits at dinner, continuing group conversation while I stroked his lower half, it was fun to watch him squirm. At the club, I was rubbing my ass on him, neck kisses disguised as trying to ask him a question in the loudness, even dipping inside to run my thumb over the head of his dick, he kept his head in my neck so no could see his reaction.
In the cab back to where we were staying there wasn’t space for all of us so I told him to sit down so I could sit in his lap. He listened like a good boy. I sat like kind of sideways on his lap putting my arm behind his head and it meant that my titties were right in his face. Basically smothering him. They bounced so much on the drive. On popped out of my dress, so he started sucking the nipple. I just gently stroked his face while I continued normal conversation with the driver and everyone in the car so they wouldn’t notice anything. It was so hard and my pussy was getting so wet. Plus I had no panties on.
I tucked my titty back in when we got back. We all squeezed into the elevator to got to our rooms.
We all had seperate rooms at the hotel and everyone else was super tired from the night, so they left the elevator quickly, saying goodnight and heading for their rooms.
My original plan was to leave him edged and needy but when the doors closed with just the two of us in there he looked so cute whimpering and begging for me to let him cum.
I told him to take it out so I could see. He raced to pull down his pants and boxers and take it out. It was so pretty so hard for me, wet spots in his boxers and he was still leaking.
I stayed on the opposite side of the elevator pulled my titties out and bounced them telling him to focus on them, he stroked himself until his eyes rolled.
Then he started saying mommy I can’t, begging me to allow him to cum.
I let my spit drip onto his dick and I could visibly see him tense so much as I got closer. When I finally put the head in my mouth his body locked up. I guided him to the back of my throat and teasing his cock with my mouth and tongue before he came all over my tits.
Now it feels boring to suck dick anywhere that’s not semi public
Didn’t work out with us though cause he didn’t want to taste his own cum, another disappointment as meryl Streep said
This local LGBTQ organization has a monthly meeting for trans and nonbinary people; a couple of cis people attend, but it's nominally supposed to be a chance for trans/NB people to chat about what's going on in our lives. (I think the cis people are two of the people organizing this kind of event for the org? I'm not privy to the details.)
Towards the end of the meeting, another trans woman was sharing some issues she'd had with conservative family and also about personal identity. I'm not 100% sure how those issues connect, partly because of audio processing issues, but mostly because other people in the group kept talking over her. Mostly two guys, one cis and one trans.
They were trying to be helpful, trying to give advice. But I don't think the advice was very good; it didn't sound applicable, and I think the other trans woman was trying to explain that, but she couldn't get more than a word in edgewise. I tried to interrupt the guys a couple of times and prompt the other woman to continue what she was saying, but...well, then the guys were talking over two trans women.
I and one other person talked with her for a while after the meeting wrapped up, and the three of us swapped phone numbers afterwards, so I think we were helpful. But it's kinda frustrating how the guys thought it was more important to share canned advice than to listen to the women they were advising.