#daniurbane

Looking at you from a close distance I saw the potential Molding a way for you flourish You got in your own way Only for you to taint what ignited your flames initially The taste of disdain upon my lips and of your touch Upon my heart was strikes of cold shoulders and empty kisses Now you've found a new pit for flames Just to make up for the temporary loneliness you feel in the presence of my absence There will never be a spark as I The touch, the look into your soul, the warmth of my admiration There will never be another My eyes see your tricks and yet you wonder How should I feel...

It was beautiful at once.

Hmm...I started this post with one topic in mind and then ended up with this. 

Ladies and gentlemen, dating in 2017 is like no other era of dating. We have social media to thank for that. For those of us who were born before 1992. I feel as though we are the last of a dying breed. Now and days, young folk don't remotely fathom old fashioned protocol. We know what it was like to not have wifi, caller ID, Google, and even watching TV after 8pm. Kids now learn how to work an iPad at the mere age of 2 when all I wanted was a Flintstones push pop. We are now all consumed in a digital world that offers short lived realities with distant companions. Dating itself is a tough thing to do. For one, I can't have dinner with someone without their phone accompanying us. Half the guys who ask me out can't event afford a full course meal. I don't ask for much but if you can't afford it then don't ask me out...simple much? However the question has been floating around about who should pay the tab while out on a date. I believe that while we are just courting, the man should be the one to pay. Now before you guys start bashing me, understand that it's all situational. If we're going to dinner and a movie then yes, I expect you to cover everything. If we go to shoot some pool after our first date, then I as the female wouldn't mind paying for a couple of games....situational. Honestly, until we are officially together don't expect me to pick up the whole tab. I'd do that for someone I claim to be my man as a treat to him for being a great guy...situational. That's my intake on who should pick up the check. If I go out with you and you don't have enough money for the check then you better check for the door because I'd be out. So tell me what you think about this...Who should pick up the check?

Some of y'all may want to judge me and that's fine. Others may not understand where I'm coming from so I'm going to teach you something today. Growing up in a baptist church, you become accustomed to a lot of things. Choir rehearsals, fundraisers, sick and shut in lists, prayer hotlines, and 3rd services all on the same day. However I've grown out of the hype. Don't be fooled I'm very tight with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I just became tired of the show that was put on every Sunday. A question that I still need answers to: Why is the pastor always giving a sermon while they sick? No like forreal...everything starts off with clarity and understanding. 5 minutes later it's like they need to pop a Halls. It's as if the Spirit wants to move through them but gets caught in the back of their throats and hinders them from life. A friend of mine mentioned how she went to a predominantly Native American church and she stated how she enjoyed the service. They had a short and sweet program. I mentioned how I went to mass a couple of times because my old best friend was Catholic and although the service was dull, in my opinion, I found it to be straight to the point. So we came to the conclusion that maybe it's a cultural thing amongst African-Americans. I've gone to baptist churches and nondenominational settings as well....same outcome. At this point my theory is non-conclusive until further notice. I just don't know why preachers take the route of performing a service rather than teaching a sermon. But hey, everyone is entitled to their perception. This isn't the only reason why I don't attend church, but it is one of them. If you're a pastor who gets overwhelmed with the Holy Ghost that you have to holler the Word then keep hollering. Don't let my inquisitive mind stop you. But on the real though...do y'all actually need to just drink more water or something?

Okay so we all have been down this road at some point and it may be cliche to write another blog on this ongoing situation. But that's the thing...it's still an ongoing topic so talking about it never gets old. I've had more than enough friends with benefits and to be completely honest, I'd do it again. However, there is a major key to going about this...don't actually choose a friend as a beneficiary. Here are two scenarios...one with an actual friend and another with someone I became friends with in the process. Not My Friend So there's a guy who I had a class with in college and for the life of me I never noticed him sitting behind me until he decided to message me on Facebook. Now you may be wondering why he didn't say something to me in class and I wonder the same thing to this day. Anyway, I knew that I didn't want to be serious with anyone at the time so I played along with him. Feelings did eventually conjure themselves, yet nothing went anywhere. Friends would joke and say how I was his girl or that he is head over heels for me. But when we could go weeks without speaking to one another, how was that a foundation to build on? I was doing me and he was doing him. Neither of us talked about a future together...shit we barely talked about the next day. A special connection developed with an understanding that didn't need to be voiced. Even to this day there is no bad blood. Now his current girlfriend...hahahaha she seems to have a problem with our kinship sooooo now we don't communicate. But as Smokey said, "When he leave, I be talkin again." My Friend Aight boom...(you know it's about to be good when someone starts with that) This friend and I have know one another for a long time. There has always been love with one another. As the years went by we both started to look at one another differently. Moving up to more recent endeavors, we decided to explore one another with a clear understanding like "our friendship comes first...we're coolin, just having fun." That wasn't a problem at all. Well it came to the point where words of affection seem to exchange during our more drunken nights. As I was told, "a drunk man tells no tales." Although I didn't entertain what was said I did notice how things began to shift. Of course, the inevitable happened and shit hit the MF fan. I find out how this person lied to me and did some sneaky things on the side. Now before you get ready to fuss at me know this...I wasn't upset that dude was doing this or that. I was upset because I was lied to. As a friend of so many years I thought we were transparent. Like we agreed, our friendship comes first, but not this time. So now I couldn't tell you where our friendship lies (no pun intended). I might keep you updated on that situation though. The moral of the story is to not smash the homie. Fin.

So I decided to take this journey down Blogging Lane. To be honest I don’t know what the hell I’m doing so just bare with me…or nah. My intentions are to somehow connect with those who are like me. A chaotic perfection. I like to sing, dance, eat, and of course binge watch a new series on Netflix. I’m not your average women and maybe that’s why I’m still single (we can discuss that later). The thing is that I’ve listen to others confide in me along with staying silent for the sake of being the bigger person. Well being 25 (and let’s not forget fine), I feel as though it’s time for you all to know the thoughts that run through my head. My friends say they never know what I may say next now you be the judge. Let me warn you though…I do like my profanity. If you can relate to how I feel then share with your friends. Otherwise just keep reading what I have to say and wish you said it first. P.S.: The previous posts relate to my journey through graduate school. Yes, you are reading the post a Salutatorian. I worked my ass off so those posts are staying there.