Sloppy but dangerous propaganda from self-help gurus that destroyed many lives. Don't get caught up in this.

Pain

Pain is not a gateway to truth or a proof that something “truly matters.” Pain is a signal generated by an organism when there is conflict, damage, or predicted threat. It can be physical (tissue damage, inflammation) or psychological (prediction error, loss, unmet expectation). In all cases, it marks a mismatch between the organism and its conditions. That is why it is salient and hard to ignore.

From that, two very different uses are possible.

One use is instrumental. The system can tolerate or endure pain when it predicts that doing so will improve its future stability. Training, learning, long projects, even maintaining relationships, all of these can involve discomfort because the system is trading short-term ease for longer-term gain. In this sense, “accepting pain” is just cost management. No heroism required.

The other use is ideological. Pain gets reframed as inherently meaningful or purifying. That move is common in religious and moral traditions because it stabilizes behavior. If suffering is interpreted as valuable in itself, people will persist in costly patterns that might not otherwise be maintained. This is where your suspicion of manipulation is well placed. The system is being guided to reinterpret a negative signal as a positive sign. It's dangerous.

Now you could hear a specific claim that pain helps you “forget yourself.” Structurally, what happens is simpler. Under strong load of pain, danger, intense focus the nervous system reallocates resources.

Pain is not a gateway to truth or a proof that something “truly matters.” Pain is a signal generated by an organism when there is conflict, damage, or predicted threat. It can be physical (tissue damage, inflammation) or psychological (prediction error, loss, unmet expectation). In all cases, it marks a mismatch between the organism and its conditions. That is why it is salient and hard to ignore.

From that, two very different uses are possible.

One use is instrumental. The system can tolerate or endure pain when it predicts that doing so will improve its future stability. Training, learning, long projects, even maintaining relationships—all of these can involve discomfort because the system is trading short-term ease for longer-term gain. In this sense, “accepting pain” is just cost management. No heroism required.

The other use is ideological. Pain gets reframed as inherently meaningful or purifying. That move is common in religious and moral traditions because it stabilizes behavior: if suffering is interpreted as valuable in itself, people will persist in costly patterns that might not otherwise be maintained. This is where your suspicion of manipulation is well placed. The system is being guided to reinterpret a negative signal as a positive sign.

Now the specific claim that pain helps you “forget yourself.” Structurally, what happens is simpler. Under strong load—pain, danger, intense focus—the system reallocates resources. Self-referential narration can drop because attention is captured by the immediate task or signal. That can feel like “less ego,” but it is not transcendence. It is resource reallocation under pressure. The same reduction of self-talk can occur in non-painful states like deep concentration or absorption. Pain is not required for that effect.