#dammit...

😳...

AHEM--- ANYWAYS--!!!

I remember the first day I watched game theory, I was around eight or nine. My best friend Asra had come over to hang out. Me and Asra loved fnaf, we had been obsessed since it came out. Watching dumb fan videos like circleteen, and I'm banana skits with the anamatronics as the cast. We even shipped the anamatronics, cut us some slack, we were really young when it first started.

And then we had just finished some video, i can't remember what it was. And then we saw an eye catching thumbnail in the next section

"Game theory: FNAF, The clue that SOLVES five nights at freddy's!"

Yep. The first theory me and my best friend watched, was dream theory. We were blown away, I mean we knew barebones lore at that time. And by bare bones I mean bare bones. We were so fascinated that we kept watching, clicking every video of his we could find.

Even after Asra left, I was still watching. And we never really stopped, as we got older we still watched, not just FNAF we watched all of them!

Of course, our FNAF hyperfixation ended eventually. But we didn't stop watching. We grew up but we didn't stop. In truth, I'm not sure if Asra watches him anymore, but whenever I'm drawing or sketching, I turn game theory on. Because I know il enjoy it, I know il love the theory regardless of how good the actual theory is.

I knew a lot of people didn't like Matpat. All the rumors of homophobia, transphobia, and probably more, I don't know about. I remember my older brother told me not to watch him because he ruined games. I didn't listen. I actively ignored him, and I don't regret it one bit.

I almost cried watching that video, and I want to cry.

Because while i don't know Matpat, he's not my friend. He's a part of my childhood, a large part. And him leaving feels like another gut punch, just like after I watched the FNAF movie. The gut punch that I couldn't avoid forever. Things change

And that concept still horrifies me. Because I know that things are going to keep changing, and that my childhood is going to leave. And that's okay.

Because Matpat deserves to leave, he always has. Him and Steph deserve the world. I hope Ollie grows up to be someone amazing. I hope their life is wonderful, because they made mine so happy. They made my bad days at school fade away when I got the notification that a new fnaf game theory was up.

So with this post i want to say thank you. Thank yoy Matthew, thank you for making my interests feel less stupid and more cool, thank you for donating to so many charities, thank yoy for making SO many peoples lives better. Thank you for being you.