May 12, 2022
That dude Paul Laurenzi was onto something wit this particular painting I aināt gonna lieā¦..
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That dude Paul Laurenzi was onto something wit this particular painting I aināt gonna lieā¦..
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So fucking angry and heartbroken right now. Drs say they think my gran won't survive the next week and my grandad wants me to travel up there, unfortunately for me my part of the country (West Yorkshire) is on lockdown without prior notice (thanks a lot Boris, my pure hatred of you grows stronger every day)
I'm totally frustrated and angry I fucking hate not being able to see her I'm a huge mess right now
The Pale Horse E.P 1 Opinions (Short And Spoiler Free)
I will be honest I have never read the pale horse before, in fact I have never even heard of it until they started showing the trailer for it on TV and the trailer itself is what drew me in, it looked visually stunning and appealing to my tastes, I fell in love with the costumes and outfits that the cast wore in these scenes
Episode 1 was dark from the beginning I almost instantly felt dread creeping through the whole episode. In a few scenes i was expecting jump scares which luckily didnāt happen. It also has a bit of a uncanny valley feel to it..
Hey
In case this website goes to shit you can find me at these links here:
https://www.pinterest.co.uk/crypticlizard/
Ā https://www.instagram.com/d.bleazard/
if there are any alternate websites please let me knowĀ
You may have noticed a lack of posts lately its because my depressive episodes have flared rather dramatically in the last month or so and I am spending more time asleep and curled up in bed than awake, and when I am awake and have to leave the hose my anxiety acts up and it can trigger a panic attack so I will be on here but not a lot.
I supposeĀ that this time of year gets to me a lot because itās justĀ a reminder of the very little family I have decided to keep in my life as well as that I'mĀ 21 turning 22 just after Christmas and I feel like I am not going anywhere in life and I will be forever stuck in a rut of trying and failing to lose weight the pictures on my Instagram hide a lot of the weight problems because you only see me from the neck upward it also causes an old ankle injury of mine to flare up in pain making it very difficult to walk if I am on my feet too long so today the pain was awfulĀ when I got home from a food shopping trip that is also a thing souring my mood. That and applying for jobs and not hearing anything back from anyone and being stuck on the dole with little income and me wanting to give more rent to my mum because she does a lot for me and I want to help her as much as I can.Ā
Someone once asked me when I was 16 where I wanted to be in 5 years and sweetĀ naive me who knew nothing about the real world said āworkingā or I jokingly said āstaring at a corner and contemplating my lifeā, well here I am over 5 years later doing just that.Ā Ā
Sorry I just wanted to vent a little and this got way out of handĀ
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A sense of upcoming Dread and doom has come upon me like a shroud today
Just living with my mum things: running upstairs to get away from her violent temper tantrums
Trust in ghost to announce the one date in the UKĀ that is nowhere near me and happens to be on the week I go away on holiday. FML