#dairy problems

Oh god. The car ride home was excruciating. I was sweating. It was too cold! Cold sweats. I turn the air off. Oh now it's too hot. Turn the air back on. Open the window. Close the window. Everything hurt and nothing was okay. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I was only 10 minutes into my drive home when I had to ask myself, "Are you gonna shit in your car or not?" I chose not.

I chose to pull over at the next clearing at the side of the road, which was a little after a big speed limit sign that said 60. Yes. I pulled over, brought my pants down and what had been a storm became a typhoon. After I thought I was done, I found some plastic bags in the trunk of my car to wipe my shamed butt with. Oh but then a second wave came, and I was a prisoner to my capricious poops. I hid behind my open car door. I don't know how helpful that was. More plastic bags to wipe the poop away. I just left them there in the grass. The wind dragged them away. The butterfly effect weighed heavily in my mind as I drove off.

I threw away my pants, my underwear, and dignity.