2 days before my 51st birthday.
As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.~Psalm:42:1
As the deer penteth for the water, so my soul longeth after thee. David was seeking after the Lord, even though he was distressed and angry.
I came to know the Lord in 1994, when I was crying and catastrophising in an overseas training exercise. I asked that He helped me overcome a difficult period, and He did.
In work, I do have many situations of stress, but I had depended on my own strengths.
I had started to ask if I can have a girlfriend and wife, and I seeked my own while waiting. In 2002, He allowed me to have union with a lovely lady called Christyne. We went on to have 3 lovely children.
I had continued to study after ITE, as my elder sister helped me to appeal to polytechnic through mp. I was happily earning a meagre salary as a technician and was angry with my sister. However, in hindsight, she had helped me significantly as I begin to enjoy studying and become discipline. I later received my Diploma in Electrical Engineering, and soon after, got a Bachelor in Engineering Management. In 2012, I did a Postgraduate Diploma in Social Work. God had help me through many of my good and difficult periods in my studies, and relationships with peers and teachers.
My divorce in 2019 originated from work stress and negligent to my ex-wife needs. I was a workaholic, and have much fears and anxieties. Taking care of 3 children need financing, and work stress in student care and later social work took up time and energy, and me and ex-wife drifted apart.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
God helped me navigated the next 4 years, the consequences of negligent to my ex-wife emotional and psychological needs. I was an angry and negligent husband, and no excuses can sugarcoat the truth. It impacted my children, and I do regret how much it hurt them.
Nights of staying awake, drinking and feeling grief and guilt. God sent angels, through Edward, Simon, Bak Chim, Adrian and breathrens from Duranno Father School. My dad allowed me lodging, mum sent me daily text messages of love and encouragement. Social workers from Care Corner Ctr for Coparenting, ex-colleagues from Sheng Hong Fsc, especially my ex-supervisor, Ai Lin, and Yin Ying, regularly checked in on me. Church brothers Sien Moon and Matthew too call me regularly. God was there, in my darkest days, waiting for His wayward prodigal son to see the light.
Family theraphy talks about family definition, characteristics, and identified 4 major stressors in a family:
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
After, during and after my divorce, God is always there. He did not leave me behind. He led me to read His word, fellowship with His people, hear His Psalms, proverbs and songs, see His creations of strengths of people who see hope, and find joy, love and mercy. Praise the Lord, oh my soul, worship His Holy name.He is my refuge and strength.
I pray that I will be faithful, not only in good times, but also in challenging times. May I be a good steward, and may many seek to hear His Gospel and truth. Semper fidelis.
