Whittles

I wish you’d understand  I don’t really feel okay I’m just saying that  To make you feel better To make you not worry                 about me The truth is inside       sometimes I feel like my heart                 Is slowly dying I do all I can to just make it             through each day Grief changed me because  when my loved one died part of me went with her So I’m not the…

One day I asked God this question: What do I do with this life It feels so useless So devoid of purpose now the one who was my purpose here is gone It’s like wandering  wandering in the  wilderness searching for signs which lead you to where you need to go The problem is  there are  no signs  to be found He answered me: Now I know  you think you  are lost  but you’re…

Tired  O Lord I’m tired this grief is  dragging me  down down Struggling  to fight my way back up from the blues  I’m livin’ trying to stand up  when all I want to do is lie down and cry, cry  It’s  hard for your heart to settle over the absence of one you love dearly one who held your now broken heart together Tired  O Lord I’m tired this grief is  dragging…

Know God.Trust God.Love God. Everybody says it,everybody knows the line,but living what we’re sayingis the struggle every time. We talk a big game,got a big plan,say we’re gonna follow God,be a different kind of man. But when it’s time to walk it,when it’s time to move,when faith says “take a step,”we’ve got something left to prove. We freeze up.Back up.Make another excuse.Find another…

Where was I  before this season of pain made me turn from love to grief I was sitting at my window looking out at the world go by Wondering, thinking, doing all the things one does  when your true love  is about to leave you Contemplating a life to       come Thinking back to our life     of joy Wishing/praying for more time with you just a few more moments to say I love…

Tears fall in the now familiar        pattern                          quiet             grief induced tears  It’s the life I now know the best            tears and grief They’ll continue to haunt the nights and     days to come   I concede I’ve come to learn grief is a silent enemy it busies itself with its daily work  always arrives in the quiet moments as I sit in my chair numbly…

They say to record     what  you’re feeling inside.  I always thought I was over the initial   shock, but I’m not really.  My body is still in shock mode.  That’s why I guess  I feel so numb sometimes  I’ve been told it might take up to a year  to get over the shock I’m just scared      if I get  over the shock  will I get over you   I don’t think I will I’m just a…

On this another day away from you I wonder if time will ever pass till the day we’re together again for all eternity  It seems like only  yesterday you touched my heart and we started our drive through this life Everyone could see how beautifully happy  we were But alas time passes so quickly  our tomorrows became   yesterdays and our now’s became thens until we found…

Loss of a loved one does not make you strong brave courageous  No each day which comes is another day  I try to survive,  not because I’m brave  but what other choice do I have There is family to  care         for jobs  other commitments  to take of  Brave no all I really want is to curl up and  quit living But I can’t I must go on breathe live Not because  I’m…

When I was married or pre of grief  we lived in a small village Our house sat at a crossroads  so near we could hear  the cars whiz on by and a sirens echo would come and go each night Behind the house for miles lay many houses like ours filled with other souls     in stages of despair  I’d come here to live out    the rest of my days         with my wife hoping, praying many…

Grief stomps around waves its arms like a            conductor  leading an orchestra  I write, I watch, I listen as it becomes a         symphony  in my head Here it comes again    head held high and smiling shakin’ down my world  playin’ its loud beats      over and over Grief smiles as though     I am enjoying the melody Truthfully  there are times the constant beat is a…

“Time heals” so they say but for me the saying doesn’t                work You see the more time passes I sit here and think, the more         I’m away from  seeing her face hearing her voice feeling her hug having her to talk to all the other things which  made her special so remember this if you’re  going through grief Time takes away some       of the pain  but as for how much…

For a long time  after your closed your eyes for the last time  and your footsteps stopped echoing down the hall life seemed to stop I sat in my favorite chair trying to catch a smell, a sound  any reminder of you to no avail It’s the same some months later as I knew it would be and my heart now walks the lonely path stuck in the my solitary ways I go through my lonely hours still…

When I think of love I think of my wife where true love began but never ended I think of the music which plays in my heart songs of our love together  of our children who know your love and miss you Walking after a loss is a slow and tedious process  The days of emptiness rubbing up against the memories  which seem to weave       joy and sadness together  fanning the longings of the…