#cyberdate

What are some of the best ways to break up online?

While it’s tempting, and easier, to send a message for your partner to uncover later, that’s just not respectful.

Just like breaking up in person, there is some etiquette involved in online break-ups. Here are some of the steps that I followed.

Be considerate. I truly respected my virtual relationship. It really fulfilled a need in my life. I kept my partner’s feelings top of mind. Ask yourself, how would I like a trusted partner to approach a break-up?

Invite your partner to a live chat. No break up messages please. Few people enjoy a confrontation but a respectful parting of the ways is just mature. It allows you to leave the relationship just as you entered. In person.

Lead into what you want to say. I told my partner that we needed to talk. This way, when we both arrived at our chat, he had some inkling of what was coming. There is a bit of a code to dating, and “We need to talk” is often recognized as being an introduction to a break up or some kind of change in the relationship.

Be clear. I clearly told my cyber date that I wanted to end the relationship. I answered his questions as far as I was comfortable. Do you need to explain? No. Does it help? I think so. I told him that though I enjoyed our time together, I was looking for some other qualities in a cyber mate. I also wished him luck in the future.

Be prepared for an emotional reaction. My partner expressed some disappointment. I had suspected that he liked me more than I liked him. I was right. He was mature about it though and didn’t go on the offensive. I appreciated that though I was prepared for some objections.

  Breakups a time for growth

Are you the one who is getting broken up with?

It’s important to feel your feelings. Mourn your relationship and take a look at yourself and what you want in your next partnership.

  Do you have some internal work to do?

Look at the relationship and see if there is a pattern being revealed. Do you often leave a relationship for the same reasons? Do others leave you? Why?

Take stock of your feelings

Have you been here before? You must be honest with yourself and allow your feelings to come through. Otherwise you risk repeating negative behaviour.

Breaking up can be hard to do. However, it’s also an opportunity for a fresh start. Work on yourself, mourn your relationship and head out again. You deserve to find what your innermost heart desires.

  P.S. I dare you to make a list of your past breakups. What was the major issue for each? If you notice a pattern, dig into it. Find comfort from supportive friends through chat on alterD8.  Begin chatting within minutes of signing up.

  Dr. Delilah

The newly discovered painting, entitled ‘Sunset at Montmajour’, depicts the wild and beautiful French countryside.

This work of art is being called, “absolutely sensational” by experts at the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam.

A hidden masterpiece

In 1908, the painting was purchased as an investment by a Norwegian industrialist under the advisement of a historian.

However, later in life, when the man wanted to go ahead and sell the painting, he was informed by a French ambassador that it was nothing but a convincing copy.

Perturbed by the imposing painting, the industrialist unknowingly sent the works of Van Gogh to exile in his attic.

There is sat for more than 100 years. The art world’s version of sleeping beauty.

Spotting a Gogh

Picking out an authentic Van Gogh painting can be difficult.

Luckily, the Van Gogh Museum was ready. They have an investigative process that involves "extensive research into style, technique, paint, canvas, the depiction, Van Gogh's letters and the provenance."

You may recognize his styles among the infamous paintings ‘Sunflowers’, ‘Irises’ and ‘Portrait of Dr. Gachet’, among many more.

You likely also know him as the painter who sliced off his own ear to impress a young lady, a story which may or may not be true.

Van Gogh died at the young age of 37 and was largely unknown until after his death, when his work became celebrated and the artist a household name.

Do you have that kind of passion in you? Try is out.

This fall, release your inner creativity, Van Gogh style. 

Create your fantasy avatar on alterD8 to fulfill your deepest emotional desires.

P.S. Imagine yourself in Paris, on a night as beautiful as one of Van Gogh’s paintings.  Make this romantic cyber date a reality on alterD8.

My school days, new binders, notebooks and pens, classmates to rediscover and new kids coming to class.

The new boy who would catch my eye, whether we connected or I observed him quietly.

Chatting endless about that new boy during sleep overs.

My girlfriends and I would chat late into the night about those special boys we couldn’t stop thinking about…

  Uncomfortable weather linked to longer chats

It turns out that I’m not alone in associating fall with cozy chats, about boys, or the ups and downs of adult life.

The journal PLOS ONE reported that people are more likely to chat for a longer time when the weather is uncomfortable in a case study on mobile phone users in Portugal.

Researchers found that:

People communicated with fewer people in uncomfortable weather

Participants reached out to those they were close to

People spoke for longer time periods

My friends are busy now, many have moved away. Sometimes we connect online but it’s often just to report the latest happenings.

I’ve taken to reserving cold, rainy nights for curling up with my laptop and connecting inside of a close avatar relationship. 

  How can you become a great anonymous chat to form stronger bonds?

I recommend just trying it first of all.

Psychology Today recommends asking open ended questions that require more than yes or no answers. I like that. In addition to that, here are some of my own tips:

Be yourself. People want to connect with the authentic you. Besides, if you are yourself, you attract those who like the real you and eliminate wasting time with those who don’t.

Name your interests.

Listen. It’s not all about you. Part of it is, but read what the other person is saying and respond before you chime in with your own opinions.

Think about the best conversations you’ve ever had. What made them so great? Alternately, think about the people you love to talk to and take note of how they handle a conversation. Model their tactics.

You’ll improve your online chats and create a satisfying experience for others. That will up your ratings and attract a host of new partners to chat with throughout the winter.

P.S. I dare you to curl up in bed and get cozy during a cold fall night, and try some anonymous avatar chat with your closest avatar partners. Get in touch now on alterD8 to form new online relationships.  

Dr. Delilah