#avatarrelationships

What are some of the best ways to break up online?

While it’s tempting, and easier, to send a message for your partner to uncover later, that’s just not respectful.

Just like breaking up in person, there is some etiquette involved in online break-ups. Here are some of the steps that I followed.

Be considerate. I truly respected my virtual relationship. It really fulfilled a need in my life. I kept my partner’s feelings top of mind. Ask yourself, how would I like a trusted partner to approach a break-up?

Invite your partner to a live chat. No break up messages please. Few people enjoy a confrontation but a respectful parting of the ways is just mature. It allows you to leave the relationship just as you entered. In person.

Lead into what you want to say. I told my partner that we needed to talk. This way, when we both arrived at our chat, he had some inkling of what was coming. There is a bit of a code to dating, and “We need to talk” is often recognized as being an introduction to a break up or some kind of change in the relationship.

Be clear. I clearly told my cyber date that I wanted to end the relationship. I answered his questions as far as I was comfortable. Do you need to explain? No. Does it help? I think so. I told him that though I enjoyed our time together, I was looking for some other qualities in a cyber mate. I also wished him luck in the future.

Be prepared for an emotional reaction. My partner expressed some disappointment. I had suspected that he liked me more than I liked him. I was right. He was mature about it though and didn’t go on the offensive. I appreciated that though I was prepared for some objections.

  Breakups a time for growth

Are you the one who is getting broken up with?

It’s important to feel your feelings. Mourn your relationship and take a look at yourself and what you want in your next partnership.

  Do you have some internal work to do?

Look at the relationship and see if there is a pattern being revealed. Do you often leave a relationship for the same reasons? Do others leave you? Why?

Take stock of your feelings

Have you been here before? You must be honest with yourself and allow your feelings to come through. Otherwise you risk repeating negative behaviour.

Breaking up can be hard to do. However, it’s also an opportunity for a fresh start. Work on yourself, mourn your relationship and head out again. You deserve to find what your innermost heart desires.

  P.S. I dare you to make a list of your past breakups. What was the major issue for each? If you notice a pattern, dig into it. Find comfort from supportive friends through chat on alterD8.  Begin chatting within minutes of signing up.

  Dr. Delilah

I’ve been cyber dating four different avatars all summer long. It’s been exciting and it’s made me feel like a highly desirable woman.

  Freedom of choice

  Playing the avatar relationship field has made me focus on what I want and less on what I think my partner wants. This helps me to connect with men who like me for me. It actually leaves us both more satisfied.

  I think it’s because I know that my avatar relationships are pure fantasy. I’m never going to meet up with my connections in real life and this is just…freeing.

As an educated and discerning consumer, I shop around for products and services that meet my needs.

I’ve taken the same approach to dating and it’s really working for me.

No one person can satisfy everything I need right now. It just makes sense to communicate with a number of people through online chat.

Here’s what my multiple partners offer:

A love of reading, books and romance and deep discussions about the characters and how literature relates to real life

Sexy chat that thrills me and fills my needs as a woman

Discussions about life, dreams, issues and how to solve them

Talk of travel, wine and the love of the better things in life

While I don’t flaunt my avatar relationships in front of the others, I don’t keep them a secret either. They’re just part of my online experience and help me to explore the different parts of myself.

   Women and serial dating

Is serial dating acceptable nowadays? Some women do it effortlessly. I guess I worry about being seen as a bad girl, even though I’m all grown up, it’s still in the back of my mind.

In a series of blog posts in Scientific American, biologist DNLee analyses the concept of female serial dating. She states: “Women should enjoy dating and flirting as much as men,” and I agree.

She goes on to wonder why there’s even a conversation around women and serial dating, as there isn’t the same conversation going on for men.

Is that true? When I search the Internet, I see a million articles about men, serial dating and etiquette guidelines for behaviour.

   I think that everyone needs to do what works for them. Be open and honest with partners and see what happens. That’s my plan.

  P.S. Try cyber dating a few partners anonymously at once and see how you feel. It’s easy and just takes minutes to sign up. Join alterD8 today and start getting your needs met.

Maybe that’s because it’s summer?

The freedom of being anonymous

Over several evenings, after dinner and before bed, we chatted about why we want to be anonymous.

His answers were very similar to mine. We both wanted to say just what we wanted to say without any limitations.

Of course, in our offline lives, we often censor ourselves. I do, and I’m rather outspoken.

My date also said that he wants to talk online without his name and face attached to every little mention that he made.

I agree.

  Female is shy offline and opinionated online

The woman that I had an online chat with was such a creative person. She was married, with teenage kids and a professional.

Still, in offline life she said that she is shy. What a contrast, online, she likes to let her opinions fly!

We discussed the royal baby, politics, religion.

She also listened to me. Our opinions contrasted but we respected each other.

  What would you like to say?

Opinions and ideas are so much fun to share.

  P.S. I’m going to really listen to my internal ideas. When I don’t voice my true opinion I’ll note when and why. Try an anonymous avatar chat and see if you voice your true opinion more than you do offline.

  Dr. Delilah

  A time to push past limits and pursue dreams

I’ve achieved a lot of what I set out to do offline. I’m comfortable. Married. A mother. And it’s a wonderful life. I wouldn’t trade it for any other.

But now I’m ready to take a break from caring for everyone else and develop my own space. I can be just who I was at 20 again; young and wild and beautiful.

I’m going to smash my boundaries through cyber dating. This summer, I plan to:

enjoy cyber dating on more than three continents

meet an international best friend to discuss life with

learn about new paths, opportunities and locations to experience

go virtual online dating with fascinating men regardless of age or location       

reveal my desires to a few choice connections

    Share with me

I’ve just switched on my laptop. So many messages. I trust that one of my suitors will be in the mood for sharing. I have some desires that I’m ready to explore. I’ll let you know what happens… 

  P.S. I dare you to connect with a like-minded avatar and share one desire right now. Bon appetit mon amie.

Celebrate freedom of speech publicly or anonymously

What can you do to celebrate freedom in your own way?

Raise a flag

Join the online conversation over Twitter, Facebook and blogs

Spend time with your family and friends

Become anonymous. Why not exercise your freedom of speech by saying anything you like? Connect with someone special or a new friend. Whomever you choose to converse with, let the spirit of July 4th bring you together.

  Capture the power of the cozy color orange

Studies have shown that the colors in the sunset, particularly orange, give you a ‘cozy’ feeling. 

Sounds great to me! Head to a beach with someone special, in person or online. Sit yourself down, and prepare for Mother Nature’s beauty to encourage snuggling on the sand or photo sharing.

Make this a double whammy with a sunset followed by fireworks.  You can be guaranteed three things from watching these displays:

“oohs”

“aahs”

big smiles worth sharing

  P.S. Dress your avatar in something orange on July 4th and take advantage of that warm and cozy feeling right now.