#cullen poly

“Your love has truly made my life a living hell.”

“Wait what?” Edward said, confused by your words. The two of you had been walking in the woods in silence because you just needed a break from.. Everything.

“Not just you, Alice, Emmett, and the rest.” You sighed as you stepped on an orange leaf that looked like the perfect crunchy fall leaf. Just for it to not crunch. If you weren’t already irritated you were now. 

“A living hell huh?” Edward questioned back to himself but you knew he expected an answer from you.

“I want things I didn’t before. Like the other week, Alice took Rose, Esme and I to France to go shopping and just like that every Tuesday that’s all I want to do.” You spoke with the sound of tears in the back of your throat.

The moment those words came out of your mouth the walking next to you paused. Confused, you turned around to see Edward standing a few steps behind you with a dumbfounded look on his face that only turned into a sly smirk when you tilted your head to question why he stopped.

“Any other reason you feel like we’ve made your life a living hell?” He questioned. Blinking at him you nodded.

“Go ahead. Tell me.” He smiled.

“Fine. You and Jasper for example you guys took me out at night a few weeks ago to see this beautiful waterfall out of state and now everynight before I go to sleep I yearn to fall asleep to the sounds of that very waterfall.” You finished with a pout. 

Edwarded hummed in response as he walked closer to you. You turned around thinking you both were about to resume your walk but Edward had different plans. Grabbing you from behind Edward sweeps you off your feet making you squeal in shock. Squeezing your eyes shut and before you knew it you were back on your feet. Wobbling you put both hands on your head in attempts to stop the spinning and dropped to a fetal position.

And softly you whispered.

“I am sick of you cold brick hoes throwing my equilibrium off.”

“Heyy I thought you liked the cold.” You heard no one but the one and only Emmett say. 

“Why are we back here?” You whispered trying to keep yourself from throwing up. You had already been mentally trying to deal with the fact that you feel like you're peeing on yourself with no control. And the cramps that came every five minutes like contractions. Now this.

“I want you to tell everyone else what you just told me outside.” Edward said and soon after you heard more footsteps come into the room.

“That I want to sleep by a waterfall?” You questioned wincing as a cramp came through like a lightning strike. 

“I booked the flights already.” Alice spoke to which you could only hear still having your eyes closed.

“That’s not the first part baby.” Edward spoke softly with a smile in his voice.

“That y’all make my life a living hell?” You answered.

“Yeah that one.”

“Us?!” You could only assume Rose shouted.

“Yes y'all! And can you lower your voice? It's loud in here.” You requested.

“Are we the vampires or is she?” Jasper snickered.

“The heightened senses are for another reason Jasper.” The supernatural doctor voiced. 

“Smell her.” 

“Ew.” You frowned.

“She smells the sa-. Ohh..” 

“Oh my god.” You rolled over to just lay face first on the floor. This was the most embarrassing thing ever. You can just smell me and be like oh yeah she’s bleeding that’s cool. You thought to yourself.

“That’s why she’s been moody all day. I thought she was still mad at me from yesterday.” Emmett laughed out.

“Oh I didn’t forget! I’m still mad!” You yelled out sitting up forgetting about any dizziness to defend yourself.

“It's been more than 24 hours!” He yelled back. 

“You're not even human and yet you ate all my snacks?! How does that even make sense to you?! Someone explain it to me please!” You yelled still mad Emmett ate your favorite snack. After a long day of well.. Living all you wanted to do was lay in bed with your love’s and eat the snack you had been craving since you woke up but had saved for later. If you knew big back here was going to devour them you would’ve eaten all of them at 5 am that morning. 

“I was hungry!” He yelled back making the rest of the room snicker.

“You were just eating to eat fatty!” You yelled throwing the closest thing to you which was an empty candy wrapper at him. 

“Hey! No need to body shame, this is all muscle baby.” Emmett smirked. Making you roll your eyes.

“See. Hell.” You stated to Edward pointing to Emmett making him laugh.

“What do you mean by hell though?” Rose questioned brushing a piece of her hair behind her ear. You knew she genuinely wanted an answer. 

“By hell I mean you do so many nice things for me it.. It makes me expect them. Sometimes I find myself expecting these things from you guys and when it doesn’t happen I can sometimes get disappointed that you can’t read my mind.” You finished snickering at the same time as Edward.

“So we make your life a living hell because we treat you the way you deserve to be?” Carlisle asked.

“Yes A living hell because I want it all the time.” You nodded.

“By living hell do you mean you want a little extra more love today?” Esme asked.

“I mean.. Hell doesn’t always have to be hot you know?”

With those words you were set for the night.

Laying in the big california king sized bed your loves had bought so you all could lay in bed together and it not be.. So difficult. It’s still difficult, you can’t even lie. But that’s what always brings a smile to your face. Hearing Emmett and Alice fuss over whose foot is on whose and Rose just straight up kicking Edwards leg off of her to which he says..

“Rose, I wasn't even touching you.” 

“It was close enough.” Rose bites rolling her eyes.

“I can’t find that one show we’ve been watching.” Jasper whispers to himself as he clicked through the Hulu acc to find the show you all have been watching together.

“It’s on Netflix Jasper.” Esme says to which Jasper nodded in response. 

You let out a soft hum as Carlisle laid your head on his chest gently stroking your hair. Your eyes slowly fluttered close. 

“You deserve all the love in the world beautiful. You deserve even more than what we give you, understand?” He spoke softly, making you nod in response. 

“We love you so much and even if you feel like it’s too much to ask just know we feel it’s not enough. We wish to give a thousand times more than what we do now.” Carlisle continued Softly kissing your forehead. 

“Is that even possible?” You questioned.

“We attend to show you that it is for the rest of our lives pretty.” Jasper answered kissing your hand that he only held previously. 

The night was full of soft touches, belly rubs, snacks and movies. 

“I’m better when I’m with you.” Jasper said, holding your hand as the two of you strolled through the woods. Well the eight of you. You and Jasper just separated yourselves from the group a little. 

“What do you mean?” You questioned looking up at him.

You were the one that had suggested that you guys go for a walk. You were feeling stuck in cluttered sitting inside of your own house all day. You much more preferred sitting in the Cullen's house rather than your own. 

“My thirst for human blood is easier to tame when I’m with you.” Jasper said, keeping his eyes front as you stepped on the wet wooded area.

“So what you're saying is I don’t smell good enough? I’m not intoxicating? I’m offended.” You pouted, crossing your arms. Hearing laughter next to you and a few laughs and snickers behind you made you turn around stopping in your tracks. 

“And why are you laughing?” You yelled slightly offended.

“You feel the same-” 

“Yes.” You were cut off as you continued.

“You think I wouldn't taste good!” You said pointing to each individual Cullen who each had a slight smile on their face. Their golden eyes look at you with so much amusement. 

“I actually think the opposite.” Emmett said, raising his hand.

“Me too, You humble our desire for you a little too much sweetheart.” Esme said, also raising her hand causing Carlisle to laugh a little.

“You were the first human in a long time. I didn't think I would be able to resist.” Rose said, raising her hand as well.

“You think this type of resistance is just here and easy?” Alice said, holding her hand high. 

“Though I would never ‘eat’ you, I’ve seen it.” She smiled. You shook your head as you smiled Alice always uses her powers to see a little further into the future to calm your nerves rather it’s because of a test or if a plane was going to blow up tomorrow. 

“You already know how I feel.” Edward said, raising his hand with a slight smirk on his face.

“I think what we meant was we also feel the same as in your presence. Your presence is so calming and relaxing to us that the urge to ‘Eat you’ As you say is buried deep inside.” Carlisle said, smiling at you. It’s like his Golden eyes shimmered every time you looked at him.

“But trust me it’s still there.” Jasper added, making you laugh immediately. Because as much as he loves you and you knew that for a fact. There are still some times when you can’t be around Jasper Because he hasn’t eaten for a few days.  

The rest of the Cullens nod in agreement to Jasper's words.

“So I am Tasty?” You questioned just wanting to confirm.

“Yes darling. Now let’s go.” Jasper said, throwing his arm around your waist guiding you to start back walking. The sun was creeping back down and with Vampires or not you never liked to just sit in the woods at night. 

“So hypothetically if I were to bake a cherry pie with just a little bit of blood you think you guys would notice?” You questioned walking with Jasper.

“Don’t do that.” 

“A cherry pie sounds good actually.”

“Immediately.”

“That doesn’t look like a good decision, please don’t make that.”

“I don’t think it counts as biting a human right?”

“That would break my no blood streak sadly.”

“You guys are no fun.” You pouted still thinking about it.

“Don’t make it!” Alice yelled.

“Why not!” You yelled back starting a bickering war all the way to the Cullens house.

“Edward.”

“Edward!” Emmett yelled, snapping Edward out of his lovesick high.

“What?” Edward frowned, eyes still unfocused. 

“He’s doing it again!” Emmett yelled, shaking his head.

Jasper

~ Jasper would have the hardest time out of all of them. Jasper being scared of hurting you would over shine his love for you. But the fact that he’s even trying to have this much restraint when it comes to you shows how deep his love goes. He wouldn’t trust himself to be alone with you for more than two minutes. So count on spending constant time together with him, Edward and or Alice. 

“Come closer Jasper, Please I trust you.” You pleaded.

“I can’t.. I really wish I could But.. I’m just not strong enough.” Jasper stood in a corner with his eyes closed tightly. 

You sighed in slight disappointment. 

“I’m truly sorry, darling.” He spoke softly.

Alice

~ Alice would be one who can handle it as long as your blood stays in your veins. The moment it’s reached the oxygen of the outer world she gets upset at herself for her personal faith being so weak. Even though she’s seen that she never hurts you in the future she wonders if it’s her constant worry that keeps you safe from her nature. 

“You told me you wanted to take me shopping today.” You smiled at Alice. 

“I’m sorry but today won’t be a good day we’re going camping today. It was late notice.” Alice responded upset that she doesn’t know how strong she is when it comes to you. 

Carlisle

~ Carlisle though your blood, your scent is more tempting. He wouldn’t have much trouble with it. In fact your scent would be calming to him at the end of the day. After a long day at the hospital surrounded by so many scents of others yours is the only one he couldn’t wait to smell all day. 

“I missed you today.” He said smiling as you kissed his lips softly.

“Long day at work?” You smiled back.

He silently nodded softly stroking your hair. The simple act of love was like it made your scent smell sweeter. He was in love. 

Rose

~ She hates you at first. She takes pride in the fact that she’s never had one drop of human blood. And then here you come like you were made to be her number one temptation. And she hates you for that. She doesn’t talk to you. She doesn’t look at you. She stays ten feet away at all times. You and Alice became friends so the fact that you're sitting in her house. On her couch. Making the house smell like nothing but temptation from the devil himself she hates. She feels like Edward, which she also hates.

“Hey Rose!” You yelled trying to catch up with her. She brushed past you when you got up to greet her. 

“Rose?!” You yelled once again. Slowing down you frowned. 

Why doesn’t she like you?

Caius

~ You would have to build a very strong connection with Caius for him to even care to keep you alive. Once he smelt your scent he wanted nothing more than to drain you dry and watch your body go limp. In fact he got a thrill out of the thought. But he thought blood singers only come once in a lifetime and to kill you now would be a waste. Especially since in his lifetimes of living he’s never smelt a scent like yours. As your connection grew because your life literally depended on it he thought Maybe I’ll just have a sip every now and then.

“I love this painting.. What does it mean?” You asked, hands gliding against the moist paint. 

“It represents the desperation of death.” Caius spoke, wrapping his arms around your waist hiding his face in your neck hovering his fangs over the very line of your life.

Jane

~ Jane she wouldn’t know what to do with this information. Does she just kill you and get it over with or does she play with her temptations? She’d keep you around But when upset she can be very hostile and her actions may be unforgivable so keep your distance when you hear she’s had a bad day.

“Jane I saw this beautiful hair pin that I think would-”

“If I just suck you dry do you think you’d still be able to talk this much?” She spoke glaring at you with her piercing red eyes.

“Stop.” Edward said, watching you plainly.

Currently you were practically skipping on and off the border line of the werewolves territory and the Cullens territory. Edwards' tone kinda upset you. You were only trying to lighten the mood because ever since you got into the car his energy was just off. Seth had called you saying he wanted to hang out so you asked Edward to drive you because bella being the blood daughter got the car and you got a maybe next year. Downsides of being adopted. 

You were standing at the border because the rest of your mates wanted to talk to you before you went to hang out with Seth. They liked Seth so you didn’t understand why they just couldn’t wait to talk to you later.

But they said they couldn’t wait that long. You thought about it and the only times they've acted like this is when they're about to surprise you with something. Or if they feel like they hadn’t been treated fairly as in quality time. And last you check you’ve spent equal time with them all separately and together. So it wasn’t that so it had to be a surprise right?

“Are you in one of your emo moods right now?” You asked genuinely curious. That seemed to only upset him more because he didn’t talk the whole time until the rest of your mates arrived. 

It didn’t take them as long as you thought that it would. You thought they were gonna drive in their cars like Edward did but they didn’t. They walked or ran or whatever. Edward made you get back into the car while you were waiting because it started raining. Of course It was still raining when they arrived, it's Forks after all. But that didn’t stop you from smiling and getting out of the car when you saw the rest of your loves. Hopefully you could sneak some more insight on why Edward was in a pissy mood.

The closer they got to the car the more you practically bounced with excitement. You had missed them even though you saw them only two days ago. Too long according to the beat in your heart. As you tapped your feet in the rain puddles you couldn’t help yourself from letting out a squeal of excitement. Running up to the closest person you could reach. That being Jasper, you jumped in his arms. The sound of the car door opening and closing fell numb to your ears. And sadly so did the sound of the car driving away.

The sound of thunder rang through your ears making you jump, scaring you a little. But something you noticed didn’t happen was the feeling of that fear going away immediately. It stayed. Jasper always felt like home but something was wrong. Something was different.

“You didn’t wrap your arms around me?” You said furrowing your eyebrows. Looking at Jasper you watched as the rain melted his hair against his face. His beautiful wet curls dripped with the wetness of rain. You would eat him right here right now if he wasn’t being so strange right now.

He didn’t answer, he just stepped back away from you. You shifted your eyes behind him to look at the rest of your mates. Rose was clinging onto Emmett’s arm next to Rose was Carlisle and Esme then there was Edward. 

“Wasn’t Alice just here? Wait a minute, where's the car?” You asked, looking around in confusion. When you turned around there was no car, just an empty wet road. Something was totally wrong.

“What’s going on?” You questioned. It took a while for anyone to say a thing. Just when you were about to repeat yourself Carlisle spoke up. 

“We need to talk.” He said.

“Well I knew that much dummy, But why couldn’t we just talk later? It’s raining and I’m supposed to be hanging out with Seth.” You said with a soft smile trying to ease your nerves. You don’t remember the last time you did this by yourself all on your own. Jasper would always be there to ease your feelings or stress. Even though you would say no he’d never listen. He would always catch a rise in your stress before you did and calm you down. 

“We're leaving.” Carlisle said. You noticed that his hair took a little longer to melt against his face unlike Jasper. 

“Ooo okay where are we going this time, tokyo? I’ve always wanted to-” You said getting excited again but you were quickly cut off by Esme.

“Without you.” She said looking at you for a little then she turned her head away. Her statement made the smile drop from your face as quickly as it came.

“What? What do you mean? How long are you going to be gone?” You questioned with your eyes shifting in between your six mates. This felt all so sudden, what happened in those two days you weren’t together?

“Forever. There’s nothing here for us in Forks anymore.” Emmet said breaking your heart with every single word. 

“But I’m here..” You said as your voice cracked mid sentence. You could feel the knot in your stomach get tight and tighter. You didn’t know how to handle this. So you did the only thing you know how to do. You turned to Jasper.

“Jasper s-stop it! Tell me this is all just a big cruel joke and you're not leaving, You're not leaving me.” You practically begged. Walking towards him you moved your hands up to touch him but he brushed you off. He pushed your hands away so swiftly and he stared you in your eyes. They were cold. No emotion was found. You tried your best to find something, anything. But there was nothing found.

“I don’t love you, I never did. I ask that you please refrain from touching me.” Jasper said sternly. Your heart dropped lower and lower with every word that fell from his mouth.

“Stop lying! I know for a fact that you're all in love with me. So much that your cold dead hearts beat for me!” You yelled out as you wiped the rain and tears from your eyes.

“We have no reason to lie. It wouldn’t bring any gain on our end to lie.” Edward said plainly as if this was all a fact.

“You were just a family pet. Why would we ever associate ourselves with a useless human as yourself? You can’t even control your own emotions. You forget to even feed yourself. What simple creature does that? You struggle to speak simple words, you can’t comprehend anything. And you cling onto us like we're a free ticket out of here. We’ve never loved you. We’ve never even wanted you.” Rosailse said, making the first tear drop down your cheek. You bit your bottom lip hard in attempts to prevent yourself from full on crying.

“Rose and I just thought why not join in on the family fun for once? We always kept to ourselves and now I understand why, you weren’t much fun to play with in the first place. We're done.” Emmett said and before you could say another thing they were gone. 

“W-wait!” You coughed out as a steady stream of tears ran down your face mixing with the rain. 

“I will say you spiced up me and Carlisle’s marriage a little bit. But you were never enough. Seeing how young you are, you should’ve known that you were never going to be more than just a temporary toy for us.”  Esme said, grabbing Carlisle's hand. Your eyes couldn’t help but shift down to her action. The simple action of touch pained your heart so much you couldn’t stop the sound of your cry coming out your mouth. 

“Forget about us. Move on. It will be best for you if you did so. You meant nothing to us. I’m sorry I let it go on this long.” Carlisle said, gripping onto Esme's hands. And just when you took a step towards them they were gone. 

“No no no-” You were cut off by a gasp of your own. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. It hurt. It hurt so bad. You felt like your soul had been shattered into a thousand grains of sand that would never be made into a beautiful beach again. You felt like you’ve just turned into a dry desert. 

“It hurts Jasper, it hurts.” You cried out. You were sure your eyes were bloodshot red right now. The mix of tears and rain was not a good combination.

“You should have never gotten attached. It took everything in me not to just drain you dry of your blood but I couldn’t. So I chose the next best thing. It wasn’t as good as it would’ve been if I had just killed you when we met.” Jasper said with his thick southern accent. Normally you would jump with joy or giggle when he talked to you but you felt worse than hurt right now. You didn’t think this could get any worse. But as he took one more look at you he frowned like you were just the most dissecting thing he's ever seen. 

“Pathetic.” And then he was gone. 

You turned to Edward and walked up to him. And in the few steps it took to get to him you felt the anger flood through your veins.

“Is this why you were acting like such a bitch? You knew?! Why didn’t you tell me? Why couldn’t you give me just that one effort of decency!? Why don’t you love me?!” You yelled at him as a strike of lightning struck you couldn’t even find yourself to get scared.

“You wouldn’t stop prying, why wouldn’t I give in and have a little fun? I told you I was a monster. You insisted on otherwise why wouldn’t I tell you a lesson? It seems that was the only way you could learn.” He said slowly tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear. 

“Hopefully you’ve learned your lesson to not trust a vampire especially when they warn you that they are soulless.” And then he too was gone.

Staring in the spot they all stood previously you felt your breathing pick up. You couldn’t help yourself but to cry harder. The pain in your heart was something you knew would never go away. No one ever forgets their first love and somehow they all were your first. Though you were crying, all you felt was numbness. The freezing rain was nothing compared to what you were feeling inside. You dropped down and laid on the hard tar road. The sound of the rain pounding against the ground was a constant reminder of what just happened. 

You used to love rain. Now you think you hate it. It’s supposed to wash away all the bad and replace it with all the good it could possibly give. But what good could possibly come out of this? You don’t know how long you laid there all you knew was when you opened your eyes there Seth was. What was he doing here? Your vision was cloudy and everything sounded muffled. You were moving? Wait what was going on? You turned your head and squinted when you were faced by blue and red lights. 

You tried moving your arm and doing so you let out a scream of pain. What the hell happened? What happened? Oh my god! You thought. Wait, were these your thoughts? What's going on?

“What happened?!” Charlie yelled out rushing to Seth.

“W-we need a doctor, a hospital! She got hit by a car it- the car it crashed into a tree. I don't think the people in it are okay, I think she- they-.” Seth was cut off by Sam’s voice. Seth was panicking but he knew he had to come here first Sam said so.

“We found her! She was in the woods.” Sam said, walking up to Charlie.

“Is she okay?! Where is Carlisle? I need to call him.” Charlie said. He was overwhelmed and didn’t know who needed his attention more.

“Didn’t you hear? The Cullens, they're gone.” Billy said, rolling up to see what was happening.

“Call the police.” Charlie said.

“You’re the Sheriff sir. Please hurry up, she needs a doctor!” Seth said trying not to freak out but Charlie was doing the same except he was in shock.

“I- Put her in my car. I’ll take her.” He commanded. Seth followed his instructions.

The rain still fell and that was all you knew. The one thing that came to your head and the only thing that came to you was. 

Whatever trash that was on the radio played in the background as you drove away from Seth’s house. You’d like to say that you had a good time but the longer that you sat there and tried to pretend that you were having a good time the more it hurt. You couldn’t take it anymore. So you weren’t going to. Focusing your eyes through the rain on the windshield you finally saw the sign “Leaving Forks”.

 Letting out a breath of air you felt relaxed. Free. For the first time in months you felt some peace. Laughing to yourself you rolled down all the windows not caring that the rain was pouring into the car. This made you happy. This brung joy to you. For the first time in a long time you didn’t see the rain as some tragic reminder of the Cullens leaving you to fend for yourself. You saw it as a way for you to cleanse yourself of this pain. For good. It felt a sign from the universe as your favorite song started playing on the radio. 

“This couldn’t get any better!” You laughed to yourself as you started to sing along to the song. Letting the music take you away you felt the rhythm in your body flow freely. Feeling your phone buzz you looked down ‘Unknown’ It read. Rolling your eyes you let it go to voicemail. This was the fifth time they’ve called. Turning your phone off you did your best to not let this ruin your wonderful mood you were in. 

Shivering as water sprayed on you from the waterfall and the rain you couldn’t help but feel cold. It made it all feel surreal. Walking closer to the edge you felt a surge of adrenaline run through your veins. Jasper had shown you this place. Out of all the waterfalls the Cullens had shown you, This one was your favorite. Maybe because of the way you found it or the memories that you made here. Either way you were happiest here. Reaching the edge you looked down all you saw were rocks and water and.. A small rainbow at the end. Letting out a final sigh you closed your eyes. ‘Finally some peace.’ You thought.  You wouldn't have to feel the void the Cullens had created in you. You wouldn’t have to wallow in your pain anymore. You wouldn't have to do anything. But let go.  

Thirty minutes passed and you had made it. The waterfall. You loved it here but you would never get too close to the edge because you thought that somehow you’d fall off. I guess you always knew you would fall off in a way. No matter the tight grip on your- one of the Cullens would have on you you always feared the outcome. But not today. 

Leaning forward you let yourself fall. The wind that swept across your face made you smile. No longer will you be the girl who loved you dearly. 

Feeling yourself jerk back you snapped your eyes open, stumbling you fell. “What the hell?!” You yelled out with so much anger. Looking up to see who or what the cause of this was you froze.

“Jasper?” You breathed out.

“Why are you trying to kill yourself?” Jasper questioned as venom filled his eyes. He looked like shit. His clothes didn’t match at all. It was like he just threw on whatever was laying on his floor and put it on and called it a day. His eyes were gloomy like a big gray cloud was covering them. His hair was all over the place, it looked like he hadn’t brushed his curls in weeks.

“WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF!” Jasper yelled, making you jump. Jasper had never yelled at you. Looking at him.. He didn’t look human. 

“Why do you care?” You rolled your eyes picking yourself up from the wet hard rocks.

“I care because I love you!” He yelled.

“No you don’t you don’t love me none of you do because if you did you wouldn’t have left me! You wouldn’t have left me to rot in my own hell that you created for me! The hell that you left me in! The pain you caused!” You screamed at him.

“You're going home.” Jasper said sternly.

“I’m not going anywhere besides hell, Oh wait I’m already there!” You yelled walking back to the edge of the cliff. 

“Do you really wanna kill yourself?” Jasper whispered, making you pause in  your tracks. 

“I want to not feel the way I do now ever again.” You whispered looking down at the water hitting the rocks at the bottom. Letting out a sigh you felt the best you have in a while. Your eyes grew heavy. So heavy you couldn’t keep them open any longer. So you didn’t.

Hearing whispers you tried focusing on them. 

“She hates me.” You heard from far away but at the same time very close.

“No she doesn't, she is just going through a hard time. We all are.” Who is that?

“You don’t know the way she looked at me Alice, She hates me” Alice? She's here?

“We broke her heart. What did you expect? Her to accept us with open arms?” A different voice sounded.

“Yes. That's exactly what I expected.” Another responded. 

What's going on? I can't open my eyes? It hurts. This hurts. Everything hurts. Wait. Where am I? Why am I not dead? That question hurt more than anything else. Why can't they let me go?

Let me go, I try to say.

 Nothing comes out.

Let me go! Please! Let Me go! I scream and I claw at my throat until sounds come out of my mouth. Tears roll down my cheek. Tears of sadness or confusion? Another emotion I can't seem to explain but what's new?

"Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!" I scream repeatedly once I find my voice. Once I found it I didn't let it go until I was hoarse. My eyes snapped open hurting them as they were dry but wet with tears? How can that be? The burning in my eyes only proved to me how real the scene in front of me was. 

There stood the very ones who brung this pain upon me in the first place. The Cullens. Every single one of them. They looked terrified. Like they didn't know what was the cause of this. Even Carlisle even though he  looked like he hadn't rested in a thousand years. He looked at me like I was something he didn't know how to fix. Pity. "I'm not yours to fix!" I scream and scream in anger. Eyes strictly on Carlisle. You could see him break a little bit more each time. I felt a small Crack. 

Rosalie held onto Emmetts arm and she looked.. Scared. That's a first. She said she loved her human life. I didn't. She ruined that for me. "Sad pathetic human life!" I yell and yell, staring her down as tears continue to roll down my face. She slowly let go of Emmett's arm. She looked back at me like I was a monster. How can I be a monster?! Rosalie shook her head in disbelief as she stormed out of the room. Another crack? 

A monster wasn't born. They were made.

Looking towards Emmett the wanna be big bad wolf. "You're weak. You're useless. You're powerless. You're nothing!" I scream and scream. I reach for anything to throw. That anything just happened to be a lamp. A very expensive one. My favorite one. It hit Emmett's chest and Shattered. Just like my love for him. Them. He didn’t try to dodge it. I knew he could've. They could've stopped it from happening but they didn't. They didn't do anything. They didn't do anything. Another Crack? What is this?

Turning to Jasper he looked like he was concentrating. Like he was trying so hard to fix something that shouldn't be broken in the first place.

Muffled to my ears I hear Edward's voice say "That won't work Jasper, She's breaking it.." Breaking it? Breaking them like they broke me? If that's how you word it, yes. 

With those words it looked like Jasper was finally coming to realize what was happening. "Please stop. Don't do this, you can't fix it if you keep going. Please, I love you." Jasper pleaded with a panicked look on his face. He took a step closer but Alive stopped him. "Please let me go." He begged Alice to which she looked at Edward who just slowly shook his head. 

"Let me go.. Let me go sound familiar doesn't it. Doesn't it!? You Jasper, You're nothing but an addict that will never recover. Itching and  Aching for just one drop of blood. Your miserable existence is an abomination." I repeat over and over so much that I find it funny. Laughing I couldn't help myself but to add another thing. "Blood.. There's no AA meetings for that one Jasper." He looked like he could die right then and there. He looked sadly at Alice as if to say I told you so. Crack. I gasp softly grabbing my chest but as soon as I acknowledge it goes away just as quickly as it came. 

Turning my attention to Esme I couldn't help but frown my face up in disgust. She was kneeling in front of Carlisle who was now sitting on the floor tapping at his chest. What, it hurts? So sad. You hurt me first. Esme took her eyes away from Carlisle and turned them to me. "I understand that you're upset but you can't break our bond, That will practically kill us. Please sto-" I cut her off. Who wants to listen to begging when you've been begging for them to come back for months now? I'm sick of it. 

"Toy. I was a Toy right? That's what you said. You know if a toy is  Delivered to a child in perfect condition and the child breaks it, the child has no one to blame but themselves. Because that toy did nothing to deserve the abuse the child yield upon it. But who cared right? It's just a toy! It's just a toy! Toys are made to be used and thrown away like trash because who cares it's not me- Oh wait it was me! I was the toy!" 

"Please stop, you can't undo it." Esme pleaded as her voice broke mid sentence.

"I trusted you. We made promises to each other! 'I'll hold your heart in my hand and I won't crush yours if you don't crush mine.' I won't crush yours.. I always keep my promises. So Consider your heart crushed." Esme visibly flinched with my last sentence. Crack.. 

Tearing my eyes away from Esme's shaking figure I locked eyes with Edward. The one who drove me to this heartache. It's only right if he was the last one to break. Getting out of the bed I was in with shaky legs I walked towards my final destination.

Coward.

"You know what you're doing, I've told you about it. And I've told you what will happen if you break us all.. Please rethink your decision.." Edward begged as his eyes followed  me as I walked up to him. 

Liar.

"We can still fix it but we won't be able to if you keep going. No matter if we want to fix it later in the future we can't. It won't be the same.. I know you still love us. Don't do this. I love you, I always have and always will. We left to prot-" You cut off Edward's attempts to save himself with one word. What was he afraid of most? Why was he afraid to show his true colors? It's all simply because he is a-

"Monster."

Edward's face dropped. You dug into your memories but not too deep as it always lingered on the surface. He was always scared you'd see him for who he truly is. A monster. 

"A soulless monster. You see Edward you were always so worried about your 'soul' you shouldn't worry about something you just don't have. Humans have souls. You're nothing but a cold hollow shell of something that used to be. Just embrace it. You'll never make it out of this hell you've made. It didn't have to be like this. You could've turned the car around that night. You were in full control. So you Edward have no one to blame but yourself. Why don't you go add yourself to your collection of victims you think you've saved." You sneered with venom. Crack.

With those last words a sharp pain felt like it came through your heart six times, And left the same way it came in. You didn't even flinch. It's like you were numb. The best way you could describe it was you were stabbed in your heart front and back six times. A few last tears ran down your check but you weren't crying anymore. You had stopped crying a long time ago. It was like your tears acted as the blood that would've spilled if you had actually been stabbed. 

Edward's faces twisted in pain and soon after behind you you heard the gasp of the rest of the Cullen's. They were feeling all the pain you felt and then some. You couldn't help but feel proud of yourself. It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders and you could breathe again. 

"How could you go through with this?! It will feel like we've died!" Rosalie stormed into the room the best she could, hunched over in pain. The throbbing in her heart was something she never thought she'd  experience. You couldn't help but roll your eyes. They thought they were the only ones who could break hearts and not blink an eye?

"Well die then."

Rosalie's eyes widened at your words. She tried to look into your eyes to see if you were just putting up a front but no. This was all you. Your head was clearer than ever. 

As you looked around the room you searched for your keys but then thought 'I don't want it anymore.' Anything from the Cullen's gets left tonight. Cars.. Feelings.. it's all the same to you.

"Enjoy my gift. It's the closest thing you will ever get to feeling human." 

You spoke dryly.

Walking away from Edward you stepped over Emmett who was curled into a ball on the floor clawing at his chest. "It hurts." He whimpered. Get over it.

With your back turned you felt the eyes of every Cullen on your back. "Please stay." Carlisle whispered. You paused and hope flooded the heart broken vampires. You continue your journey to the front door. On your way you spoke knowing they could all still hear you very clearly.

"Don't call me. Don't come by my house. Don't make it seem like you've died. Just die." I said before I slammed the door shut. And it was never opened again.

Walking down the long driveway of the Cullens house you felt light as a feather. You felt like you were on top of the world and nothing could bring you down. As you walked you came to a realization. You were trying to make a happy ending, you were begging for one. And that's what took so long that's why they never came back. Because there was no happy ending. A love that breaks you like that will never have a happy ending if it's with the same one that took your heart and stomped it out. The only way out is to make a trade. Eye for an eye. Soul for a soul. Heart for a Heart.

______

Cold. Cold was all you felt. It had been 3 months since The Cullens left. From that night on forward you felt like time was paused for you but was still going on for everyone else. The seasons change and the leaves fall. All you can see is that rainy road from that night. Bella was no different. When your mates left, so did hers. You never thought Alice would do something like that to Bella. But then again you never thought any of the Cullens would do something like that to you. Everything went against your better judgment. 

Charlie has tried to get you and Bella to go out more, talk more, eat more. The eating part was more so pointed towards you. When you woke up from that night you felt fine until all your memories came rushing back. When you did you woke up in a hospital. You had hoped and prayed that the doctor that would walk through that door was Carilse. But he never came. He never showed. That broke you more than having a broken arm ever could. You didn’t know what to do. Carilse was only ever concerned about your health. Being the amazing doctor he is. And his love for you only amplified his push for you to stay healthy. 

So you did the only thing you could do. 

You went on a hunger strike. For two weeks straight you wouldn’t eat anything other than the spoonful of food Charlie would practically shove down your throat. He would beg and plead for you to eat something. He didn’t care what it was. You thought starving yourself would bring him back. Would bring them back. It didn’t. No sign of them was ever found. That hurt you more. They really didn’t care. Everything they said was true. Those months you spent loving them, understanding them, caring for them. Meant nothing to them.

You couldn’t sleep most nights, and when you did they were full of nightmares. The hateful words they said to you that night rang through your head. The voices were so loud you’d wake up screaming in terror. This was hard for Charlie. If it wasn't Bellas screams waking up the whole house it was you. No one had gotten a good night's rest since that night and it was really showing. Charlie would get caught falling asleep on the job whenever he was at work, He'd fall asleep mid dinner, etc. That made you feel bad. You couldn't hide your pain even if you tried. You couldn't like and say you were fine. Your eyes tell a thousand truths.. That's something you always told Edward whenever you caught him being closed off.

You could always read him like a book. Not that night though. 

It was late or early in the morning you should say. You wouldn't know you didn't go to sleep last night. You couldn't. You watched the sunrise as much as it could behind the gloomy clouds. The sound of rain hitting your bedroom window brung tears to your eyes. That sound only reminded you what happened that night. But it also let you know that what happened was real. Not just a traumatic nightmare or dream. 

It was the weekend so you were free to do whatever you wanted. Yay, you thought dryly to yourself. A knock coming from your bedroom door  brung you out of your thoughts. As it opened Charlie peeked his head in.

"You alright in here?" He asked.

You shrugged your shoulders in response. You've never been so not alright in your life. Everyone knew that.

"How'd you sleep? I didn't hear anything last night.." Charlie said walking into your room.

"I didn't sleep." Your voice reeked of never ending tears. You felt like an overflowing river. Or more so you felt that you were drowning in that river.

"Oh.." He said. And even looking out the window you knew he was scratching the back of his head.

"Your mom called." He stated.

"Okay." You said plainly as your voice cracked.

"She wants you and Bella to come visit her for a while in-"

"No thanks." You cut him off sitting up to face him but not before wiping the tears off your face. 

"You're not well. You're worse than Bella. You're going. You haven't left your room since I don't even remember when. You're worrying me." Charlie stressed out.

"I- that would make me worse." You said trying to think of something to say other than just kill me.

"You need to go out, have fun like you used to. Seth called his worried about you too he says you guys haven't talked in months. Why don't you hang out with him?" Charlie suggested.

"Sure." That was the last thing you wanted to do.

"Great! I'll tell him you're on your way over." Charlie said before he made his way out of your room. When you heard your door close you sat up.

You were irritated by the events of this whole thing. You didn’t want to go see Seth. You didn’t want to go see anybody. You barely even wanted to look at yourself. You don’t even remember the last time you looked at yourself. The last time you saw Seth was that night.

Everyone told you that Seth was the one who found you that night, you wished he didn’t. You had wished he left you in the middle of that road to die like the family who swerved to avoid hitting you did. No one would let you go see the family or try to go say sorry. You were hysterical. You couldn’t even form a simple sentence to the doctor when they would ask you “Where does it hurt the most?” And all you could do was point to your heart and gasp for air. 

After 10 minutes of laying there in your bed contemplating if this life was really truly worth living you got out of your bed. Walking in the hallway you were faced with Bella who looked as horrible as you felt. She was dressed and she had her bag over her shoulder. 

“Where are you going?” You asked. You don’t hear her leave her room unless Charlie calls you both down for breakfast and dinner. 

“Charlie.” Bella said and that was all it took for you to know that he gave you both the ultimatum. Either get better here or go home with mom.  

“Who he'd make you go see.” You were kinda curious.

“Anyone really, I chose Jessica though.” She spoke softly.

“What about you?” She questioned back.

“Seth.” You both shared a look and both shook your head and parted ways.

The front door closed the same time you closed the bathroom door.

Looking in the mirror for the first time in a long time you couldn’t help but look back and see yourself as a widow. You were never married to your mates but in some way it felt like that was an unspoken marriage to begin with. Sighing you spent a long, much needed hour in the bathroom. And when you walked out you felt like a new woman with a shiny broken heart. You got dressed and after another hour you were off to Seths. 

As you drove the car Carlisle bought you for your birthday you fought yourself to not get lost in your own thoughts. Why didn’t he take the car? They took Bella’s radio but not my car? Maybe that would be something too big to not notice being gone? Before you knew it you were at Seth’s place. No matter how slow you drove you got here too fast in your head. You couldn’t express how much you didn’t want to be here but here you were. Letting out another breath you got out of the car and before you slammed your door shut the door to the cabin opened. 

Turning around you saw Seth walking out with a smile on his face. Giving him a soft smile you closed your car door and walked up to him closing the distance. 

“Hey.” He said smiling.

“Hi Seth.” You said softly. 

“I missed you.” He said pulling you in for a hug. You tensed at the physical affection. He always hugged you when you saw each other. But it seemed all too much today. You found yourself holding back your tears immediately when you hugged him back. He wasn’t who you wanted to hold, to touch.. 

Pulling away after a while you sneezed and quickly wiped your eyes. 

“So what do you wanna do?” you asked. 

“We can watch some movies and order food if you want?” He said.

“Sure I guess that would be fine.” You replied softly. Seth smiled and you both started walking towards the cabin. Your social battery was already on hell. You had no clue how you were going to get through this. 

_______

“How could you be like a thousand years old and still so stupid!” You huffed holding your head in your hand. You and the Cullens had been fighting lately. You don’t know why.. Well maybe you have something to do with it.

“How am I stupid? I really can’t hangout with you today my darling. We need to hunt. Especially Jasper, with you being around a lot more his hunger levels tend to double.” Carlisle said. You could just picture him looking at you in sympathy. 

You had called him because apparently all of your lovers are just too busy to hang out with you. You thought Carlisle would be free seeing as he was off today but I guess that wasn’t the case. He was off to go hunting with the rest of the family. Jasper had to leave earlier than the rest. So Alice, Emmett and Esme went with him. You thought Edward would be free since he didn’t go with him but he was in one of his petty moods ever since you went to hang out with Seth and Jacob with Bella. You told him he had nothing to worry about but he insisted that he did. Him and his stupid stupid mind reading. Which led to a fight with him so he was on the bottom of the roster right now.

Then there was Rosalie which was just a hard no for you. You didn’t want to hang out with her right now. Why you may ask? She threw away your pasta three days ago because she said it stunk. Who is she to throw away your pasta? You don’t walk around here popping her blood bags because you don’t like the way it looks to you. Maybe you should. I thought about it for a while and eventually said it out loud, Which was another fight with her that you could just add to the list.

So that left Carlisle who was perfect. Just perfect. He had picked you up from school just earlier today because you told him that you needed a ride. Since everyone else was busy he came and got you. Which he usually doesn’t do because it draws attention. But by now everyone was used to you being with and around the Cullens. Though they don’t know that you date them all. They only know that you date Jasper and Edward which they already thought was weird as hell. But you never cared. You're in love with two vampires that are the downfall to all of the human race. And you think that the world can know that. Know just enough without blowing the cover of it all.

“My love, I know that you are disappointed and upset with us but sadly there is nothing that I can offer for a solution.” Carlisle said after hearing your long aspirated sigh. 

“It’s like you guys are avoiding me. I don’t feel loved at all. I want some love without an argument following through not even two minutes in.” You said, Stripping yourself of your clothes preparing to take a shower since you had nothing better to do. 

“We are not avoiding you-” Carlisle paused and you could hear voices in the background. Listening closely you could hear that it was Esme.

“Is that-”

“I’m sorry but I have to go, the hospital is calling.” He rushed out and before you could even say a word the line was clear. 

Pulling your phone away from your ear you could do nothing but stare at it in disbelief. He hung up on you. And not only that but you were completely sure that that was Esme's voice in the background. No one else around her sounds like her. And you know damn well the hospital did not call him. He was lying. Esme was lying. They’re all lying. 

You couldn’t feel anything but disbelief. 

You knew they lied to just about everyone but that was to protect their family. Not everyone in the town could know that they drink animal blood and sparkle in the sun like a fucking case of glitter. But you knew those things already. You’ve seen those things already. So there would be no reason to hide anything from you. At all. 

Finding a new sense of adventure sparling through your veins you put your clothes back on now determined to find some answers. 

Running down the stairs with your bookbag you almost bumped into Charlie. “Woah there kiddo, What's the rush?!” He yelled out to you as you ran past him.

“I’ll be back later, don't worry I just need to see something really quick!” You yelled back getting into your car Carlisle got you for your last birthday. You had told him that was a big mistake. Even though He bought you a car you always felt guilty using it because you didn’t want it to look like you were using him. So you’d always catch a ride with one of them or go with bella. But right now you didn’t care about any of that. 

Pulling up to the Cullens residents It looked deserted. But then again when did it not? Parking your car you walked up to the door which was already being opened by Alice. Once you saw her you immediately frowned. She was supposed to be with Jasper just like Esme was. 

“What are you-”

“You need to go home.” Alice said firmly with her head held high light always.

“What? I don’t understand, why are you here?” You grow your eyebrows in confusion.

“Cleaning. Now go.” She said pointing back to your car.

“Do you see me walking away from this house anytime soon Alice?” You said standing your ground. She wasn’t just about to go and rush you away when you had only just gotten here. Seeing her face you knew the answer. 

You pushed her out of the way gently but made it known that you were going to back down and bow like a little puppy. 

As you walked closer to the heart of the house you heard mumbling and hushed whispers. Finally reaching your destination your eyes widened a little with what you saw. And your heart skipped a couple of beats.

Standing in front of you there was a sign on the wall that read. "We're so sorry’ And the loves of your life were each holding a sign that read ‘I love you because…’

“I know we lied to you but we had too. It was the only way for us to be able to put something together to try and show you the love that we have for you. You came sooner than expected.” Jasper said, looking a little ashamed. Him and his southern accent would always make you smile. Sometimes you wondered if it was just him. Or him using his powers on you. But either way you didn’t care it made you happy.

“Once Alice saw you coming we had to throw something together really fast. We were still brainstorming ideas Roslise didn’t like anything we suggested.” Edward said, shooting Rose a pointed look making you let out a small laugh. That was more like a sigh of relief. 

“It wasn’t enough, all their Ideas sucked. You deserve nothing but the best and I think I'm the only one in this room that understands that.” Rose said in her know it all tone that you loved so much.

“When you said over the phone early that you didn’t feel loved anymore that broke a piece of my heart. I- We never want you to feel that way. We want you to feel like the most loved person in this world. Because you are my love. We would die for you.” Carlisle said taking a step closer to you.

“I’d live for you.” Edward said, taking a step closer to you.

“Fight for you.” Jasper and Emmett said at the same time. Also taking a step closer to you.

“Smile for you.” Rose said, taking her step.

“Care for you.” Esme said taking a step as well.

“We couldn’t imagine a life without you and we're going to prove it to you. Starting today.” Esme said.

“Well more like tomorrow.” Rose said Shrugging her shoulders when everyone looked at her with a look as if to tell her to shut up.

“Rose is right, the full day starts tomorrow but doesn’t mean we can’t start tonight. You’ll have at least 2 hours with each of us until it’s time for us all to gather together. Since tomorrow is saturday.” Carlisle said kissing the top of your forehead, making you smile. Realizing you hadn’t said a word in a while you decided to throw something out there.

“Really?” You whispered but you know they heard you. Perks of being a vampire.

“Yes.” They all said collectively. 

This made you so over filled with joy squealing you kissed all of your lovers with a big wide smile on your face. They of course kissed you back like they always do. Biting your bottom lip in anticipation you looked up at all of them in expectation. Making them all break out with a soft smile. In admiration. 

“So what’s first?” You said basically bouncing up and down in excitement.

“I mean we could take you up to the bedroom right now and start the fun immediately.” Emmett smirked looking you up and down with suggestive eyes. 

“Emmett!” You all said collectively.

“What? What did I say wrong? Don’t tell me you all haven't been thinking the same thing.” 

Currently you were at the Cullens house for a sleepover. At least that’s what charlie thought, and that’s also what you thought it was as well. You thought you’d have an exciting chill weekend with your secret lovers. That was until you had woken up with a tingle in the back of your throat, your eyes watering, both of your nostrils clogged, and you just simply felt like you were dying. 

“Stop being dramatic.” Roseilane said, rolling her eyes.

“You don’t know how it is Rose, you’ve been dead for like a thousand years.” You said snapping but sneezing mid sentence. She frowned in response. 

“ I may be dead but at least I’m not spreading my germs everywhere.”

“I blame Emmett.” 

“ Wait, what why me?!” He said standing up from the desk he was sitting on.

“ Because you were the one who insisted that we go spend ‘Alone time’ together and go skinny dipping even though you know damn well I can’t swim! That water was cold as hell.” You answered, lifting your tongue as Carlise put a thermometer under your tongue.

When you had woken up immediately complaining you were in Edward's room sleeping with him, because the two of you hadn’t had any alone time together in a while and you could tell it was bothering him. Though he wouldn’t admit it he was grateful that you had chosen to sleep with him without him asking.

I’m not saying it was easy to do so, It was practically like prying a child's favorite toy away with Rose and Emmett. They did not give up without a fight.

“What do you mean you don’t wanna sleep with us?” Rose questioned. 

“ I just wanna sleep with Edward tonight, You’ve done nothing wrong Rose.” You replied in attempts to comfort the defensive vampire.

“But we wanted to watch the game with you, You said you would.” Emmet argued back.

“I know I know but I’m tired, I just wanna take a bath and lay down. Me and Edward haven’t had any time alone together so I thought that me and him could cuddle while I fall asleep. I promise you two did nothing wrong.” You said kissing Rosalie cheek then doing the same to emmett. The frown on their beautiful faces pained you but they weren’t the only one’s in this relationship. 

In Fact you had to think about the last time you spent alone time with Carlise and Esme. They always say that “Your presence in the house alone is enough time for us.” But you know that’s just them being the adults of everything and that is not the case. You knew that just like the rest of the Cullens they went through their own version of possessiveness, it was only right with the soul bond between you all. It’s just they had a better way of hiding it than the others.

Rosalie and Emmett would pout and huff like children. 

 Edward would hide himself in the woods or stuff himself in his room. Saying that he just needed ‘alone time’. When we all knew he needed the exact opposite.

Jasper would be more distant than normal, lost in his thoughts.

Esme would clean. Like there would never be a spot of dirt around this house when she was feeling alone.

And Carlisle would just bury himself with work. Always taking up extra hours making sure he is busy enough to not think too much about it.

All of your partners were just begging for attention but none of them would voice it out loud. 

So right before you went to sleep you stated to yourself in your head that you would make time for each Cullen the next day even if they each only got a hour alone with you, Something was better than nothing.

That was until you woke up feeling like shit.

Carlisle shook his head, taking the thermometer from under your tongue. “You have a fever.”

“I could tell that from down the hall she’s sweating like she’s a witch and we just set her on fire” Edward said with his emo attitude upset that his time with me got cut short because of Emmett’s shenanigans 

“Edward please.” Carlisle said tucking your hair behind your ear while pulling you closer to him to kiss your forehead. This made you smile. You had middle his forehead kisses. You felt like he always gave the best ones. You wouldn’t dare say that out loud ever though. You know Rose would kill you out of jealousy.

“I’m going to get you medicine okay? You’ll be okay.” Carlisle said, pulling away from you when Jasper walked into the room. You nod in response.

“Esme and Alice are making you some soup.” Jasper said with a sly smirk on his face know your next words.

“Soup? Ew You know I can’t stand soup! That shit is nasty. I'm not eating it.” You said, shaking your head and frowning in distaste. You heard soft laughs in response.

“It will make you feel better, I promise.” Jasper said in his southern accent that just honestly was a panty dropper you would always tell him.

“That doesn't help me at all, I’d rather eat sand.” You said rubbing your eyes as you felt a pounding headache come on.

As if sensing your discomfort, Carlisle was right by your side again with supplies in his hand. Rubbing your back with one hand he put his things down on the table you were sitting on.

“You need to rest, Whose room would you like to sleep in? I’ve already contacted Charlie and told him you fell with a cold so you shouldn’t worry about him. He’s fine.” he stated but you were now faced with the most difficult decision of the day.

Looking around the room Jasper was standing by the doorway watching you with calculating eyes still with the sly smirk of his which always made your heart pound. Him hearing it he chuckled, his actions made you look away in embarrassment.

Looking towards Emmett and Rose. Emmett was sitting on the table near the window and Roselie was sitting in between his legs and they both were looking at you with their signature puppy eyes. Moving your eyes to edward very quickly because you knew if you stared at them for too long you would give in.

Edward looked lost in his thoughts which would always make you put him because you felt that he felt like he was lonely. You would call him the lone wolf of the pack which he hated. But he couldn’t stay mad at you just like you couldn't pick just one of them right now. You need all of them right now. And that’s exactly what you would have.

Jumping down from where you were sitting with the help of Carlisle you didn’t respond verbally. You  just did your hand moment you would always do when you wanted all of the Cullens to follow you but didn’t feel like saying it out loud. And they always answered.

Walking to the kitchen where Esme and Alice were, like she could smell you in the air she turned around with a smile on her face.

“There you are my beautiful, Your soup is almost done. Would you like me to add anything to it?” She said so softly, like if she spoke too loudly you would melt aways in pain. Which was a high possibility the way you were feeling. 

“Nope, you didn’t even have to make me anything you know, I would’ve been fine without.”

“Oh no, you know I love a chance to use the kitchen for you.” She said making you smile because you knew it was true.

“Well if you must, can you come up to the room where you're done?” You asked which she nodded in response to. Satisfied with your answer you turned around walking up the stairs to Carlisle and Esme bedroom. 

All that could be heard behind you were soft footsteps of all of your lovers following you.

Once you made it to the room you sat on the bed finally speaking. 

“All of you, all of us, and all of me. Here in this bed now.” Leaving no room for argument, you got comfortable.

The first to get in the bed with you was Jasper surprising you. He claimed his spot behind you so that you were in his arms and laying on him. 

“The best spot in the house.” He whispered into your ear making you giggle at the ticklish feeling.

Soon following along, each Cullen claimed their spot next to you. Everyone getting one piece of their love. They were satifisty. Meaning so where you.

Once everyone was relaxed Esme came up to the room to feed you the soup she had made you. Though you tried to fight it, you were falling weaker and weaker each minute. This ‘cold’ was kicking your ass. Soon after she was done feeding you she also claimed her spot between you and Caslise. 

A few minutes into laying there you felt your eyes growing heavy. The feeling of hands all over you. The coolness of your lovers cooling you down. You felt content. But you had One question.

“Guys, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” Each of them said collectively.

“Would you love me if I was a worm?”

“Oh my god-”

“I’d probably step on you.”

“I’d keep you in a beautiful enclosure.”

“I’d give you a little cowboy hat-”

“That’s so stupid.”