#culinary horror

🎉 Hive City ███████ Fresh Market — Now with EXTRA SINEW! 🎉 🛒 Provided by the Dept. of Digestive Harmony & Biological Reassignment 🎪 In proud partnership with: The Servitor Lead Association™☠️ Endorsed by: The Ministry of Approved Edibility

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🗣️ HEAR YE, HEAR YE, YE HUNGRY F*CKS! Welcome to Fresh Market Day! Where taste meets loyalty, and doubt meets the incinerator!

Haven’t seen a cow in your entire life? No chickens since your granddad’s great-granduncle’s rumored hallucination?

Who cares? You’re still getting steak night every third rotation.

Now shut the f*ck up, praise the Emperor, and open wide.

🍖 TODAY’S MAIN DISHES:

Fleshpatty Royale™ 100% meat. Zero questions. Perfectly compressed into Imperial bite law standard dimensions.

Ration Surprise Casserole The surprise is whose body parts. Also comes in “Extra Surprise” size.

Traitor Sausage Links Former heretics. Now spicy. Ethically processed under Public Morale Mandates.

Beige Stew Named after its single approved color. Served tepid. Drink it or be it.

😋 CHEF SPOTLIGHT: 👨‍🍳 Magos-Chef Larius Gutwell Culinary Techpriest, 3-star Adeptus Gourmand Known for his “Slow-Roasted Secessionist Shoulder” with Cyanide Glaze

Quote:

“Flavor begins where loyalty ends.”

🛐 PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Questions are a form of digestive rebellion. Symptoms include:

Intellectual flatulence

Moral nausea

Thought-induced constipation

Side effects of doubt:

Lobotomy

Recipe conversion

Flavor enhancement (for others)

🎭 EVENT SCHEDULE:

⏰ 0800 — Opening Screamonies! Witness the vivisection of a disgraced bureaucrat! Still has his nametag!

⏰ 1000 — Loyalty Chili Cook-Off Each contestant brings a “donor.” Winner gets a year's supply of Coagula Croutons™!

⏰ 1300 — The Great Breading Volunteers roll naked in breadcrumbs for public approval. Audience votes via cattle prod.

⏰ 1400 — “Guess That Organ!” Blindfolded taste-testing from a mystery platter. Winner gets a commemorative Servitor Ear Spoon!

⏰ 1500 — Deep Fry the Doubter Live. Screaming. Crispy.

🐄 MEAT SOURCE SPOTLIGHT:

🔍 "Farm" Profile: District Culling Zone Beta-77 Population: Former Species: Human (ex-citizenry) Notes: Excellent marbling in thighs. Ritual compliant.

📣 NEW PRODUCT DROP:

🥄 SlurryPopz™ For kids! Sugary paste tubes made from dreams, bones, and 7 government-approved flavors. Colors may vary. Some batches still blink.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 FAMILY-FRIENDLY FUN:

🎯 “Pin the Treason on the Uncle” Blindfold your kid, hand them a rusty nail, and let them help!

🩻 “X-ray Roulette!” Spin the wheel! Get an internal scan! Win if you’re not hiding anything! (You aren’t, right?)

🎈 “Screaming Dunk Tank” Drop a local heretic into boiling gene broth! Laughter for all!

🎁 BONUS: First 50 families receive FREE LOBOTOMY VOUCHERS Redeemable for annoying spouses, mother-in-laws, or that kid who won’t stop asking where bacon comes from.

🎤 QUOTES FROM THE COMMUNITY:

“I had no idea you could make ribs from a kneecap!” — Local Grandmother #44 “My dad went missing two cycles ago. Today I tasted the stew and started crying.” — Child 771-B “It’s the seasoning. Not the source. That’s what matters.” — Commissary Chaplain Barrox “I heard someone say the Emperor was shorter in person once. Now we eat him every Thursday.” — District Whistleblower (deceased)

🍽️ TESTIMONIALS:

“I used to be vegan. Then I got hungry.” — Poster Child for Re-Alignment Therapy “It’s weird at first… Then the hunger takes over. Then the pride.” — Youth Devourer Troupe Alpha “Honestly? Tastes better than fear.” — Former doubter (now a recipe)

📋 DISCLAIMERS:

✅ All food approved by the Dept. of Ethical Anonymity ✅ All recipes reverse-engineered from purged archives ✅ Meat may contain trace loyalty enhancers, mild sedatives, and regret

📢 COMPLAINT POLICY:

Filing a formal complaint about the food or atmosphere will trigger a loyalty audit of you, your household, and every living relative you’ve ever mentioned aloud.

Complainers taste bland. Stop ruining the broth.

⚰️ EXCLUSIVE MERCH:

🎽 “I Licked the Truth and Liked It” shirts 🔪 “Too Spicy to Be Innocent” aprons 📖 “The Emperor’s Cookbook: 300 Ways to Boil Treason” 🕯️ Official “I Ate My Boss” scented candles (Hints of gravy and vengeance)

⚠️ WARNING SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE A HERETIC:

You asked about the nutritional content

You cried during “Identify the Heretic”

You failed to clap hard enough after “The Great Breading”

You whispered, “That meat looks familiar…”

You didn’t finish your tray

Punishment will be public, theatrical, and delicious.

Reblog if you:

😋 Still don't know what meat is—but damn it's good 🎪 Would enter the chili contest just to spite your neighbor

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🧠 Read more respect-coded doctrine and emotional architecture at: 👉 https://linktr.ee/ObeyMyCadence 🛡️ Masculine polarity. Scrolltrap psychology. Unforgiven words. 🚪 Warning: This one made your stomach growl… and your conscience scream.

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