#cu headcanon

(I was mainly inspired by @biolizardboils’s headcanon post regarding the books’ timeline)

So uh anyways

Tbgdotgp facts #4: the childhood (BD au) timeline is heavily inspired by a headcanon of mine that I NEVER shared here and it was all thx to both 10th & 11th episodes of the CU series.

So I'll say it now; Theodore and Krupp both went to Jerome Horwitz Elementary when they were in 4th grade. Although it wasn't revealed what grade was Theodore in, I kinda assumed he was a 3rd or 4th grader in the tape ("Murdsly incident"). While Krupp was getting all the food thrown at him on the stage and made fun of. The only thing they have in common is how both of them were on the stage and made fun soo-- em-

Hey thanks, you beautiful anon! I need all the luck I can get please kill me. Alright here we go, Cu!Caster confession to master leads to kiss and gets him out of single-larity hahahaHAHAha. 

I wanted to try this as a headcanon/narrative hybrid, so please let me know what you think! If it was headcanon-style it would happen the same way but it wouldn’t be as pretty sounding. It’s a longer read but I think it’s worth it? I know we’re all lazy here and like our bullet points but I like to swap back and forth. Lemme know what you think?

Singularity F

Cu Chulainn (Caster) Confession & First Kiss:

Ireland’s Child of Light has spent a lot of time preparing for this. 

From the first time he fought beside you, and then fought for you in the contaminated Fuyuki Holy Grail War, he knew he had met a master worth more than their Command Seals. 

There’s a warmth about you that sings to him. It doesn’t roar like a fire or squeal like a sparkler, but it hums a tune that only he can hear. Like a lullaby, it relaxes his spirit origin and eases his worries.

He teases you all the time. There are flirtations and small acts of kindness he drops to let you know he cares, but he wants more. 

Very hard to ask for more when hundreds of other thirsty servants are sharing a Chaldea with you.

Dr. Roman was persuaded to sending the two of you to an unknown singularity without any other servants or backup planned.

Out of character, but when a Noble Phantasm that reminds you of your hard partying days at Burning Man is shoved in your face it’s hard to say no.

Cu tosses an arm around you and drags you along like he has countless times before.

“Master, come here for a minute. There’s something I wanna show you… I haven’t steered you wrong yet, have I?”

Treetops touch the sky. Crystal waters ripple with the breeze. Dewdrops dust the grass. Warm sunlight reflects in the earth and your eyes. Creatures of all shapes and sizes exist here, living in harmony. You lie beneath the same canopy and breathe the same air. Your back shares a tree with Cu Chulainn.

“How do you know this place? It’s so beautiful,” you say.

He shrugs. “Stuff like this doesn’t last. It’s pretty and all but we don’t get to keep it. It moves in a way that we don’t.”

You nod. “Heroic Spirits are trapped in time. I imagine watching things change and grow makes you wish you could, too.”

He rolls over onto his knees before you, looking down at your face. His shadow is outlined by the sun’s glare on his back. His braids cascade over his shoulders and brush your cheeks.

“I wasn’t talking about Heroic Spirits, but I agree. I meant we as in people. Like you and me and the other me and the other me.” He snorts. You feel it on your lips. “But, you know, being by your side always changes. Some days I’m your mentor, other days I learn from you. Which never seems possible. I’m dead and you’re… my master.”

Your heart pounds in your ears. He touches his forehead to yours and stares.

“Master, I will always fight by your side, but I want to lay by it, too. I want to see you turn red like you are now. I’ll show you places and you’ll show me what it’s like to be alive. We can even go to where you’re from and tell your friends you’re under the spell of the tall, strong, charming, handsome Irish Hercules… Sort-of.”

You both laugh. You give him the dumbest grin in your arsenal and grip his coat by the fur of his hood. You tap your nose to his before he gets the hint. 

“You’re sending mixed signals,” he groans.

“No, no! I’m not. I promise. I’m just wondering how to tell my family I’ve been wooed by a demigod from the olden days of yore!”

He leans backwards, tugging you with him as he does. “Nobody’s going to believe you. Even if they were, I’m the Caster here. I’m totally fine with wiping your entire family’s memory.”

“Sorry, mom, he needs the cane because he’s a few thousand years old. My lover is an ooooold maaaaan.”

He grins. Lover. I could get used to that. 

Robin Hood

-Even though you tell him that you care a lot about him, he still will feel like a burden to you.

- He likes to steal a kiss from you now and again just to show off to the other servants that wish they were him.

-Though he’d never cheat, he still shops around at the maidens wherever he goes. Old habits die hard.

-He smokes a lot. It’ll take a lot if you are trying to convince him to quit.

Caster Cú

-He loves to hug your waist from behind and whisper in your ear about how much he loves you.

-Cú will use his runes a lot to show off. He knows they are cool, and he has no problem with impressing you with them.

-When you are in public, he likes to keep his hand on your butt. It usually gets the message across that you aren’t single. 

NSFW Warning

Rank 1: Captain Underpants; his usual form

Rank 2: General Captain Underpants, because Captain is his first name. Cape has light red polka dots. Can fire underpants from both of his palms

Rank 3: Crown Admiral of Underpantyworld, King Underpants, cape gets some royal gold trimming and pure white polka dots and he can summon a large bullet hell of slingshot underpants, Gate of Babylon style. Enemies are buried under a large mountain of “ammo”; inconveniences citizens by clogging up traffic for miles.

Quick sketch “Gate of Underpantyworld”

Reference gifs

Literally found this one by coincidence