#cu headcanons

I firmly believe that Cu will dance with his s/o every time the awesome Josh Turner’s “Your Man” is played and will grin and nuzzle them as they dance.

Actually that would be an awesome idea, especially if they can communicate about something in class or if one of them gets sick and can’t talk much.

Hey thanks, you beautiful anon! I need all the luck I can get please kill me. Alright here we go, Cu!Caster confession to master leads to kiss and gets him out of single-larity hahahaHAHAha. 

I wanted to try this as a headcanon/narrative hybrid, so please let me know what you think! If it was headcanon-style it would happen the same way but it wouldn’t be as pretty sounding. It’s a longer read but I think it’s worth it? I know we’re all lazy here and like our bullet points but I like to swap back and forth. Lemme know what you think?

Singularity F

Cu Chulainn (Caster) Confession & First Kiss:

Ireland’s Child of Light has spent a lot of time preparing for this. 

From the first time he fought beside you, and then fought for you in the contaminated Fuyuki Holy Grail War, he knew he had met a master worth more than their Command Seals. 

There’s a warmth about you that sings to him. It doesn’t roar like a fire or squeal like a sparkler, but it hums a tune that only he can hear. Like a lullaby, it relaxes his spirit origin and eases his worries.

He teases you all the time. There are flirtations and small acts of kindness he drops to let you know he cares, but he wants more. 

Very hard to ask for more when hundreds of other thirsty servants are sharing a Chaldea with you.

Dr. Roman was persuaded to sending the two of you to an unknown singularity without any other servants or backup planned.

Out of character, but when a Noble Phantasm that reminds you of your hard partying days at Burning Man is shoved in your face it’s hard to say no.

Cu tosses an arm around you and drags you along like he has countless times before.

“Master, come here for a minute. There’s something I wanna show you… I haven’t steered you wrong yet, have I?”

Treetops touch the sky. Crystal waters ripple with the breeze. Dewdrops dust the grass. Warm sunlight reflects in the earth and your eyes. Creatures of all shapes and sizes exist here, living in harmony. You lie beneath the same canopy and breathe the same air. Your back shares a tree with Cu Chulainn.

“How do you know this place? It’s so beautiful,” you say.

He shrugs. “Stuff like this doesn’t last. It’s pretty and all but we don’t get to keep it. It moves in a way that we don’t.”

You nod. “Heroic Spirits are trapped in time. I imagine watching things change and grow makes you wish you could, too.”

He rolls over onto his knees before you, looking down at your face. His shadow is outlined by the sun’s glare on his back. His braids cascade over his shoulders and brush your cheeks.

“I wasn’t talking about Heroic Spirits, but I agree. I meant we as in people. Like you and me and the other me and the other me.” He snorts. You feel it on your lips. “But, you know, being by your side always changes. Some days I’m your mentor, other days I learn from you. Which never seems possible. I’m dead and you’re… my master.”

Your heart pounds in your ears. He touches his forehead to yours and stares.

“Master, I will always fight by your side, but I want to lay by it, too. I want to see you turn red like you are now. I’ll show you places and you’ll show me what it’s like to be alive. We can even go to where you’re from and tell your friends you’re under the spell of the tall, strong, charming, handsome Irish Hercules… Sort-of.”

You both laugh. You give him the dumbest grin in your arsenal and grip his coat by the fur of his hood. You tap your nose to his before he gets the hint. 

“You’re sending mixed signals,” he groans.

“No, no! I’m not. I promise. I’m just wondering how to tell my family I’ve been wooed by a demigod from the olden days of yore!”

He leans backwards, tugging you with him as he does. “Nobody’s going to believe you. Even if they were, I’m the Caster here. I’m totally fine with wiping your entire family’s memory.”

“Sorry, mom, he needs the cane because he’s a few thousand years old. My lover is an ooooold maaaaan.”

He grins. Lover. I could get used to that. 

Who wants to talk about my Captain Underpants au where George and Harold end up as teachers at Horwits elementary, teachers of what they like respectively, and Krupp is older but still the principal?

George and Harold have a pair of pranksters in the class and they finally get why they were a bit annoying to Mr. Krupp because these kids are running them ragged.

And they’re about thirty years old in this au, Krupp is at least sixty, and they’re just old guys talking about their lives.

Krupp marries Edith of course (and maybe every once and a while the Captain shows up). They have two sons. (More on them later)

George and Harold are a couple(yeah I know Harold ends up with Billy in the books)( look at me fucking nerd who read the books and remembers shit)( but I’m shipping George and Harold) and have a daughter who goes to the school(more on her later)

So anyways the each teach, George teaches writing to and Harold teaches art. When one of thems absent they sub for each other.

-/- Kids!!

So George and Harold adopt a girl from an orphanage. Her name is Sarah Michael Beard-Hutchins(yes they hyphenated) (if she gets in trouble she is called by her full name). She is eleven years old and in the fourth grade. She’s usually got blond pigtails. Green T-shirt with a heart on it and a white long sleeve undershirt is her main cartoon outfit.

She isn’t obsessed with comics like her Dads but she does like to draw. Her main interest at the moment is music. She’s learning violin but for now she can play a bit of piano and guitar.

She is friends with Mr. Krupp and Edith’s sons.

-/-

Samuel is the oldest. He’s in sixth grade and takes responsibility as being the oldest and trying to keep the younger ones out of trouble. He’s tall, dirty blond hair and a blue hoodie that he constantly wears. He likes video games and comics so he likes spending time with his God-Uncles, George and Harold.(yes they are called god uncles fight me!). He’s had the nickname Sammy from his Mom and it sucks. He does not like it.

Carter is in forth grade. He and Sarah are really good friends and constantly get into trouble. They get let off the hook a bit since their parents work at the school, but they still like causing mischief.

Carter is pale. Like really pale. As he has a hundred freckles. He gets it from his mom. His brown hair comes from his dad. He wants to start a band. And go skydiving. And have a world record. He wants to do a lot of things and he doesn’t have a really strong interest besides playing electric guitar and reading. Yeah he likes reading even if it’s really boring compared to all the stuff he wants to do. But there’s something about getting lost in another world that he loves.

ONE VERY GOOD BOY BEST DOGGO COMING UP.

Also, in case you haven’t read it I also did a HC about him confessing and kissing his Master. <3

Singularity F

Cu Chulainn (Caster) Relationships

Of all his potential summoning forms, Caster Cu Chulainn makes for the most well-rounded romantic partner.

It has nothing to do with the fact he’s the only one that can win a Holy Grail War. It aggravates the other Cu forms that he’s a “fake” but gets to win a Grail War.

“It was a singularity. I don’t think it counts. If it bothers you that much, do better.”

Doesn’t go out of his way to be cute, or do super sweet things, or wow his partner, but he does all of those things better than his other forms. He may be unlikely to do them, but if he does do them they will be incredible.

Scathach had to confer and give him permission to use those runes. He may not be wielding Gae Bolg, but he still gets to smack people around with his staff. As a Caster he gets the best parts of his other forms (without the same shitty luck stat that results in his untimely demise).

Outdoorsy. Will drag partner camping.

Loves taking a partner on hikes and nature walks. Helps them scale trees and teaches them to rock-climb. Thrills in showing them this beautiful world he gets to use mage-craft in.

Skinny-dipping in lakes and rivers is an absolute must.

Those scenes in movies where nude people make out under a waterfall come to mind.

If things have at least a 50.01% chance of turning out favorably for him, he will go for it. This applies in his romantic relationships.

Takes the risk of asking to try new things with his partner, in and out of the bedroom. 

While he’s cool with routine, he doesn’t want to lose the sense of wonder that love allows him. 

Calculating his risks is important, but calculating the happiness of his partner is more important.

Even though it becomes expected of him to make the first move in most situations, he tends to do it when it’s least expected. 

This leads to behaving rather inappropriately in front of others, or leaving a partner flustered at a bad time.

The less he lets on about his feelings, the more he’s feeling. Unless he’s about to burst, in which case he will say exactly what he’s feeling.

Quite adept at expressing what he’s thinking when the situation calls for it. Would prefer to avoid opening his mouth if possible.

Communicative and agreeable. Will avoid conflict if possible, and doesn’t see a point to fighting in relationships. 

Protective. It can be overbearing, but he does make a conscious effort to try not to interrupt his partner’s life. 

He’d just… really like to know where they are at all times and it’s totally okay they have their own things going on, he doesn’t mind he’s concerned for their well-being.

If someone even so much as looks at his partner funny they’re getting a wooden stick to the face. 

“You’re never the first person someone treats like shit. If they made it this far behaving like that, they deserve the lesson in manners.”

“Etiquette lessons can involve getting brutalized by a guy with a stick. Use your imagination.”

Loyal to a fault. Were he to catch his partner lying etc, he would struggle to separate himself from them. Attachment runs deep, and peeling back layers when he’s hurt is impossible. He’d rather sit in discomfort than move in pain.