#cu chullain

As one, Billy and I both turn to look, and I vaguely notice Robin and David doing the same on the other side, and I can’t see so well in the dark from where I am, but I can see enough, and I put a hand over my mouth reflexively. It’s so awful. The smell alone…I. T-There’s someone –there’s a rock, a tall thin one—like a type of gravestone almost, in the middle of the room, and someone is chained to it, arms above their head, sort of stuck standing, and sort of dropping over. And. Th-they, he?, -they have what looks like a spear clean through their stomach, just…hanging there. Th-there’s stuff hanging out of them too, not just blood, a-and- Oh my god oh my god. It’s intestines. Some of them are on the floor. I start to gag and try to fight it back.

God, it looks so awful, so painful. Oh my God this poor person.

Their eyes are shut—they haven’t noticed us at all, or moved—I-I don’t even think I can see them breathing. Oh God, the others said they might start killing the Heroic Spirits here if they figured out what we were doing. They killed them? W-we’re too late? We failed… But—  -But. No—no, if they were dead, they’d have vanished. Right? So they must-

“I have this one,” says Emiya, which he’s never said before, striding into the room.

I just stare at him for a second, then my brain comes back to me and I hurry after. “You do?” I ask, “Are you sure? –Are they even alive? -Can we—“ Emiya has a completely unreadable expression on his face, except that whatever else he’s feeling, he’s very intent right now. His eyes are fixed on the person in the center of the room, and as we get closer rapidly, I think I was right, and it’s a man—tall, wearing blue and with blue hair. He still hasn’t moved. I look back up at Emiya. “-h-help him? … Do you know him?”

I’m aware of Billy moving just behind me. I think Robin and David are hanging more back. W-which is good, someone should watch the door. I wish Billy was next to me instead of behind me, though. I don’t know what to do, and I feel like if we were thinking together right now, maybe I might. I…

We reach the man then, and Emiya looks at me for the first time since I started talking and he says nothing at first, then just, “In a way.”

You…know him ‘in a way’? I wish I knew what that means.

The man hanging from the stone is still completely motionless. He’s got dried blood trails from his mouth down his neck, and…a-and some down his legs and stomach, along with…his intestines. Just. H-hanging out. And on the ground… It's okay it’s okay it’s okay—he-he isn’t gonna die if he’s still alive. Billy told you only heads and hearts are connected to their spirit cores right? So it’s not like a human looking like this; we can still save him.

I look at Billy over my shoulder, for reassurance, but his face is pale and a kind of horrified and full of dread like what I’m feeling.

…No. That’s right. I forgot so fast; usually it’s only heads and hearts, but their real deaths in life are an Achilles’ heel too. And…if this guy died being impaled on a spear, which, which it really looks like he must have. Maybe…they…overdid it.

Please be alive, please be alive.

Afraid of the answer, I reach out my hand towards his face, hoping to feel breath on my hand. Emiya has me beat though—same idea but better. His arm goes past mine and he places a hand on the man’s shoulder. I hear him whisper what sounds like ‘Trace on,’ and the little geometric patterns that appear when he does magecraft light up along the man’s body, arcing from his shoulder to his chest. It’s good news, thank god, because Emiya lets out a breath, and for just an instant, I see relief in his face. Then he’s all serious again, and turns to me.

“He’s not dead, but he’s on death’s door. If we remove that spear, he’s going to die. And if we leave him like this, he’s also going to die.”

“But then—we have to try something!” I start.

“I know-” says Emiya like he means it, but whatever he’s about to say after, he doesn’t, because the man in blue stirs, and he stops immediately to look down at him. The man groans weakly, and unconsciously lulls his head a little to the side. Very slowly, I notice his chest begin to rise and fall with enough depth I can actually tell he’s breathing, and there’s movement behind his eyelids, then he slowly blinks, before finally cracking his eyes half-open and looking out blearily at nothing.

Very carefully, Emiya lets go of his shoulder and moves back beside me. The man in blue doesn’t seem to see either of us for a few seconds, then his eyes clear just a little, and he weakly tilts his head up to look at uh.

The instant he does, recognition flashes across his face and his eyes go a Oh fuck kind of wide and become much sharper, and he stares right past me at Emiya in disbelieving, almost offended horror.

D. Do they hate each other?

“Oh, you gotta be fucking-” starts the man in a weak, angry rasp, then surprise and agony wash over his features and his face contorts in pain as he chokes and struggles, then loses the struggle and starts hacking up blood and convulsing. I think it might be the most awful thing I’ve ever seen, and I want to help him, but I’m afraid if I touch him I’m just gonna make it worse so I just stand there watching in horror as he tries to hold back sounds of pain and fights to stop his body from convulsing, each cough aggravating the wound through him in a way I think it would be unfair to describe even as agonizing looking. I. I want to help; I don’t know how. I want to cry. It looks so awful. I try turning to Emiya for help, but he has that almost unreadable expression on his face again. I...there’s something in his eyes like worry, though. I think? Just barely not hidden right. I am at least sure he’s not enjoying watching this at all.

I try looking over at Billy, and realize he’s moved up almost beside me now. He doesn’t seem to know what to do either, but it’s still weirdly reassuring, because even though he still looks worried, he looks a lot less full of dread than he did before, so, that probably means this is a good sign even though it looks terrible, right? I try and hang onto that.

When the wracking coughs stop, the heroic spirit is breathing raggedly, soaked in sweat and fresh blood, head slumped forward in exhaustion. Very slowly, he manages after a second to raise his head to look at us again with bleary eyes, but he doesn’t try to say anything this time, and he can only keep his head up for a second before giving up and hanging limp again.

Like that’s woken him up or something, Emiya blinks, glances at me and says, “Stay here,” then moves up to the man.

The man in blue watches him in silence the best he can with eyes he’s struggling to not let close. Emiya gives him a little nod and says, “Lancer,” like it means something to the other guy that I don’t really understand. I can’t even tell if there’s any kind of positive or negative feeling to the words at all. It’s strange. The way the guy—the Lancer, I guess, looked at Emiya before, I thought he hated him, but I don’t think Emiya hates him. And as soon as Emiya says that, the Lancer almost looks comforted for just a second, or relieved, like there’s a hint of smile on his lips, and I don’t think he’s scared of Emiya at all right now, not even as much as you’d be scared of a stranger if you were hurt like this—he actually gives in and just shuts his eyes then and lets his head hang forward against his chest again after hearing his class as some kind of weird greeting.

I have no idea what any of this means at all.

I guess it doesn’t matter. What matters is getting him out of this.

“Things are fine out here,” comes David’s voice in my head, “No rush yet. We’ll keep you updated. Do you need any help with the Lancer?”

“Not yet,” answers Emiya mentally, not even looking up while he circles the man, taking in the setup and the spear. When he finishes, he glances at him and says, “They should have known better than to do this to someone with a time limit attached to their death. How long have you been here?”

“…Two…and a half…days. …I think,” manages the lancer between ragged breaths, with a voice that’s barely there at all.

This seems to worry Emiya.

“That’s bad?” I ask him, “Not just normal bad, but-?”

He gives me a serious nod.

“Can I help?” I ask. I look down at my right hand. I wasted one spell, hurting Billy on accident. I’d like to use the second for something good. “I could use a command spell.”

“You may have to,” says Emiya quietly, “But not yet. And not without contracting.”

Oh. Right.

The lancer’s brow knits weakly at that, and he turns his head to look at Emiya and then me questioningly for a moment before giving up again and hanging still.

“Lancer,” I say nervously, turning to the man in blue, “Would you accept a contract with me? I pr-“

“-Yes,” he cuts me off.

“… Really?” I ask, “But I didn’t even tell-“

“-Don’t care. Won’t—Can’t. be worse…than this,” manages the lancer between labored breaths, and he musters the strength to open his eyes and give me a very weak wink, “I’d take. …a devil.”

“Okay,” I say, feeling very worried about this man. Emiya moves behind the rock and poises himself to break...something, I’m not sure from where I’m standing. Part of the chains, maybe, and then he pauses and gives me a nod. I reach up and place my hand on the lancer’s. It’s covered in blood. I guess he…fought, before he ran out of strength. Trying to break free. Dried blood. I try not to think about it. I give Emiya a nod and hear something metal snap behind the rock as I turn my focus back to the Lancer and say, “My soul becomes your will, your spirit becomes my destiny. If you agree, accept me and answer my call, Lancer,” maybe too quickly.

“I accept,” comes the lancer’s exhausted voice.

There’s a now familiar feeling, a pulse of mana, and I feel connection like an invisible cord between us.

Heal, heal, heal, heal, I think, extending my hand and focusing all my energy on him, but then Emiya’s hand is on my arm, lowering it, and I look at him in surprise.

“Not yet,” says Emiya gently, “It won’t help him until we get the spear out. You’ll just waste your energy.”

“Oh,” I say, feeling my face heat up. I turn and look worriedly at the lancer, “But. You said he’d die if-“

“I did,” says Emiya with a nod. He straightens up and turns to face the lancer himself. “Lancer?”

The lancer looks up at him with some amount of effort, almost annoyed. “Yeah?”

“I’m going to change the spear into something else,” says Emiya, meeting his gaze before very carefully setting his hand down on the spear shaft, “If it’s not a spear anymore, pulling it out won’t kill you.”

“Yeah?” manages the lancer more happily.

“… But, if I make it smaller, technically, it’ll still be removing the spear. So. I’m going to have to make it just the smallest bit bigger, then pull it out of you.”

“…Ah,” says the lancer much less happily.

“It’s going to hurt like hell,” warns Emiya, closing his fingers around the spear.

“It already does,” replies the lancer quietly. He lets out a breath and shuts his eyes, then gives a nod.

“Wait!” I say, surprised to hear Billy say something at the same time. I’m not sure what it was, but we glance at each other, and Emiya pauses.

“Here,” says Billy, stepping forward and sliding off his belt. He holds it up for the lancer to bite down on, and the man accepts it with a grateful glance. Similar idea, I move up and place my hand on his for moral support. Emiya looks like he’s considering telling me that’s a bad idea, but he changes his mind and doesn’t.

“Okay,” I tell him.

“Brace,” warns Emiya. The lancer does. I hear Emiya whisper what I’m sure this time is ‘Trace on’, and the spear lights up with those geometric patterns again, but this time the whole thing glows, and I watch in surprise as it changes form. The lancer screams in pain through the belt and jerks as the thing through his middle morphs, and then I’m not thinking about anything at all because he’s CRUSHING my hand. I scream too.

The glow stops and Emiya rips the object through his torso out with one clean yank, and the man screams again, and then it’s over and he’s let go of me and I fall to the ground, cradling my hand. Or—I thought I had—Billy comes out of nowhere and catches me, and I realize after it’s been happening for a few seconds that he and Emiya and Robin and David are all asking me if I’m okay.

“I…” I look down at my hand. It’s…broken. How strong IS that guy? He was dead, and he—

“It’s broken,” says Billy out loud.

“It’s okay,” promises David mentally a second before appearing beside us, “I have this. You make sure the lancer doesn’t die,” he tells Emiya, kneeling by me and Billy.

Emiya gives me an almost sorry glance, then David a nod.

“Here,” says David gently, placing his hand on top of mine. He gives me a warm smile. “Quite a break. Looks like we picked up a strong ally, didn’t we?”

Reassured by how calm he is, I choke back tears and give him a nod.

“Don’t worry. You’re not the only one who can heal.” David holds up a hand and a little harp appears out of thin air. He takes a knee and starts to play on it, and it’s the strangest sensation I’ve ever felt. The music is really beautiful—I know I’ve never heard the tune before, but it still feels…emotional, like deep nostalgia. And I at once feel comforted, and calm, and not worried or sad at all. I feel okay. And as I do, I feel a sensation like putting your hand in cool water after burning it run along my right hand, and I watch in wonder as the bones in my palm set themselves, and the pain vanishes.

“H. How did you do that?” I ask him in amazement, holding up my hand and turning it.

“I was blessed to have skill that helped people through music on a kinnor in life,” says David, still smiling, “And if anything it has only gotten stronger after death.”

“That’s amazing,” I say without thinking, “Can you teach me?”

He looks incredibly tickled and gets an very interesting look on his face for a moment, then says, “I’m not sure. I’ve never tried. But maybe.”

Right. Stupid! You barely know him and he probably can’t teach you to have magic Heroic Spirit powers, Ritsuka!

“Better?” he asks, standing and holding out a hand. I nod and take the hand, and he and Billy help me up.

“Yeah, good as new, actually,” I say, surprised, flexing my fingers. I look over at Emiya and the lancer then. The lancer isn’t moving at all and his eyes are shut, his body hanging limply. “…Is he okay?” I ask worriedly.

“Well, he’s alive,” says Emiya. He removes his hand from the lancer’s stomach and I see the wound is gone.

“You healed him?” ask, amazed. How many healers do we have?

“Not…healed as such,” says Emiya with a grimace. He summons the little curved swords, or, big daggers—whatever they are—that he uses so much, and slashes through the chains holding the lancer up, then catches him as he falls and slings his body over a shoulder, and turns to me. “I closed the wound forcibly, but it’s more like I stopped the damage from getting worse than actually healed any of the damage.”

“Oh, I guess I should then,” I say, walking over, “Or David.”

Emiya looks like he’s going to say something again, then doesn’t. Instead he says, “…Sure.”

I put my hand on the unconscious lancer’s, and focus all my energy into trying to heal him. I picture holding my hand out, and feel it work a little. Feel some mana leave me and pass to him. It’s still…really hard to do this, if I’m honest. I feel like I ran up two flights of stairs every time I try. But I’m getting it! And that’s all that matters.

When I open my eyes, though, the man is still unmoving, just hanging there unconscious.

“…Did it not work?” I ask nervously.

“No, it did,” says Emiya, “He’s just got…a rather complicated wound.”

“I can try,” says David. He summons his harp—kinnor? again, and starts to play. Just being near it, I feel better again myself. David gets a strange look on his face, though, and gives Emiya a worried glance, still playing. Emiya returns it, and I think…I think they said something to each other, mentally, but…didn’t tell me? …Why?

“Well,” says David, cheerful again, “That’s the best I can do for now. I think he’ll wake up in a little bit, but he might not be the most useful in battle right now.”

“That’s okay,” I say, unsettled by whatever just happened, “So long as he’s okay.”

“We good to keep moving?” asks Robin mentally from the door.

“Yes,” replies Emiya the same way, “We can get going.”

“Who’s your friend?” asks Robin out loud as we join him.

“A lancer,” replies Emiya. There’s a weird moment between them then I don’t really understand. Emiya looks…like he’s not sure he believes Robin doesn’t know who it is, and Robin seems a little irritated by that. Gives the lancer another hard look. And there’s…recognition then? But not like with Emiya, when he saw the lancer. It’s…a weird mix of recognition and confusion, and he looks away.

I wish I knew what to do when you guys were weird about each other.

Emiya glances over at me and I think misinterprets why I look the way I do, because he relents a little and says, “I can tell you who he is, but that would probably piss him off; he’d want to do it himself.”

“Oh, I can wait—I mean, unless knowing would help us help him right now,” I say, surprised.

“I don’t think it would matter right now,” says Emiya.

“I’ll wait then,” I say.

“We only got two left, right?” says Billy, “We know where they are yet?”

Every single spirit stops. I have no idea why—I don’t sense or hear anything, but. Their faces; I know whatever it is it’s-

“Nobody move,” says Emiya in my head.

Nobody does.

“What is,” that, comes Billy’s voice mentally. He sounds…scared?

“Whatever it is, they summoned it. Which means they know we’re here, and what’s happening,” says David mentally.

“They summoned something?” I ask in my head, “To fight us?”

That’s. Wait, that’s weird. I hear…ringing in my ears all of a sudden. It’s kind of painful.

Emiya get’s a look on his face like Oh God please no.

“What? What is it?” I ask mentally, really worried now, “There’s six of us now—five of you are heroic spirits! Even with the lancer out right now, we-“

There’s a loud CRUNCH from above us and the ringing in my ears is suddenly unbearable. It sounds like…

“Is that…rattling?” comes Billy’s voice in my head.

Something massive comes plummeting through the floor above and slams down into the hallway behind us, and the second there’s little enough dust in the air I can see at all I am looking at a skull so big it could eat me, with big white eyes like it has ones made out of glowing bones, and it’s looking at me, and the ringing is louder and I realize it’s coming from its teeth, and I know suddenly, I know what that is. It’s shifting its shoulders and torso in the tight fit even this huge hall is for something its size, and I know I’m looking at-

“GASHADOKURO!” yells Robin at the top of his lungs, and I swear I feel my heart stop.

“Are they out of their FUCKING minds!” shouts Emiya, turning and running. He moves to get me with his free arm, but Billy snags me first, and all of a sudden we’re all moving faster than I have ever gone before—so fast I can barely see.

That’s insane! That’s insane! Why would they summon a yokai! It’ll eat them too; it’ll never stop! I don’t understand; oh god we’re all going to die.

I didn’t think they were real I didn’t think they were real I didn’t—I—I’m terrified. You can’t kill those! You can’t! They just go on until they run out of energy!

Oh god, it’s coming after us. The massive skeleton with its horrible eyes is crawling through the hall, and it’s still looking at me; why me?

“Shit!” shouts Robin as we round a corner so fast Billy and David both leap and shove off the wall, trying to bank as fast as we’re moving, “It wants the kid!”

“Because she’s human!” shouts back Emiya, furious, “They’re trying to kill our Master so we burn out!”

“I should have realized—when there were no people on the floor,” David calls, and I hear him saying something in a language I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure he’s cursing.

“Well we’ll just have to fucking kill it!” shouts back Billy, “How do you kill one?”

“You can’t!” Emiya and I shout back at the same time.

The gashadokuro reaches the hall we just turned onto and crawls after us. How is it MOVING that fast! It has to mess up the walls to move at all, but it’s crawling so fast we’re not losing it! They can’t move that fast! Nothing should be able to keep up with a heroic spirit!

“Well we’re gonna have to invent a way!” replies Billy, doing the same no-time-to-slow leap onto a wall, run a few seconds, then back to the floor bank he did before as we reach another hall.

“They vanish if they run out of energy!” I call, because I am all about finding any way to end that thing.

Oh god, what if it gets outside? H-how could they do this! I’m barely a mage, and I know one of the cardinal rules of magecraft is not to let other people know about it, and they’re risking a monster to beat all monsters getting out, in the middle of the city? How bad do they not want to lose these trapped spirits! That’s insane! How can ANY amount of money possible be worth unleashing a gashadokuro onto the city to anybody!

“Like this, I’m not sure if we can run it out of energy before we do,” calls back Emiya, “But we can try—Billy, take her and get her out of here, and we’ll try and burn it out-“

“—No!” I snap, “That’s a terrible idea! I don’t care if you’re heroic spirits, I’m not leaving you with a gashadokuro while I run and hide!”

“It doesn’t want us unless we’re with you,” replies Emiya pleadingly, “It’s safer for all of us if you-“

Something shoots up through the floor and I hear Billy cry out in pain and see Emiya’s expression turn into a mixture of anger, shock and horror, and then I feel something hit me and I look down and see a skeletal hand. I. I don’t know if it moved somehow, or if this means there’s two. But it’s beneath us, coming up through the floor. I see a giant skeletal hand close around us. And I’m remembering they crush you to death and bite off your head. It’s starting to squeeze. And then I hear Billy shout something—it’s not Thunderer. It’s something else. But I feel a surge of energy ripped out of me. We’re not in its hand anymore somehow. We’re above it, in the air. I don’t know how we got out. I’m confused, and I feel faint. I feel…Billy’s hand around mine. He raises his gun and I do hear him call the name of his noble phantasm this time, and the hand shatters into shards of bone beneath us, and immediately starts to regrow.

Something’s wrong though. I feel sick. And. The newest one—the lancer. he’s…He’s still hanging over Emiya’s shoulder. I can see Emiya firing shots from his bow, at the one behind us. Oh god, there are two of them then. Emiya looks okay. But. The lancer. He's…transparent.

Oh no. I’m using up too much mana, I think faintly. I try really hard to focus. What did Billy do that got us out and made me feel like this? Or was it one of the others.

We land, and Billy trying to carry me and shoot at the same time, dealing with the one in the floor. Everyone in the building must know where we are now. The monster’s head comes up and it tries to bite us, and Billy chucks me like a baseball, and Robin catches me out of the air and we vanish.

“You okay?” I hear his voice worriedly in my head.

“No, stop,” I plead. I don’t think I’m crying, but I sound like I am. “I’m okay. Don’t use your invisibility on me—help them fight. I can do it! I can! I can keep all of you up!”

I’m trying so hard to focus on my connection to the lancer. I wish I knew his name; I wish I knew it. I know it wouldn’t matter, but I feel like it would. I feel like if I could keep thinking it, it would anchor him better. Come on. Don’t die, Lancer. Stay up, stay up.

“I know you can,” says Robin quietly in my head, “But none of us are exactly fighting at our best right now. One of our tankiest spirits is unconscious, and the other’s basically a walking glass canon. David and I can’t do a lot without risking vanishing, and Billy just overextended himself. I’m amazed your conscious at all after supporting all of us and a noble phantasm. We need to pull back.”

“But we can’t leave anyone here,” I whisper.

“I know we can’t,” says Robin, looking down at me with sympathy. The others are all so fast. I can barely see them move, and Robin says this is them fighting at a disadvantage. “But right now we don’t have a plan. We need to get away from those things, and think.”

He has more to say, but there’s suddenly the sound of an alarm. Lights start flashing on the ceiling above us, we both look up in shock as the security doors all along the hall close. One tries to slam on the gashadokuro in the hall and can’t, but seems to sort of pin it down, even if only momentarily. Another shuts between us and everyone else.

“No, no, no!” I say, struggling to sit up. I almost black out, but I make it to my knees. Robin is up with me, a hand on my shoulder, staring too. “We have to get back in there—you can help them!” I say. Above and below us, I suddenly hear faint voices shouting and screaming. People? Some of the staff?

Robin hesitates, agitated. Looks from me to the others, struggling to fight off two of those things. “No,” he decides, “No—we can’t leave you alone. It’s what they want.”

“But look!” I say, pointing, “They’re not coming! They aren’t even looking at me anymore. If they let one of those loose in the building, it must mean they have a way not to get killed themselves, right? I’m barely a mage, but I can tell there’s a shield on the doors—there has to be! Otherwise the one on its belly would have snapped through them the second they closed. Those things haven’t taken their eyes off me since they appeared, and I’m like thirty feet away, and neither of them is even looking in my direction! I’ve got to be right. Aren’t I?”

I point at the door, daring to be proved wrong. Robin grimaces and looks at the security door. He moves over and puts his hand on it and shits his eyes, then looks at the bone monsters, and back at me. “Doesn’t matter,” he says with less conviction, but a lot of worry, “It’s stupid to leave you alone.”

Behind him, I see Billy swatted into a wall so hard it dents, and Robin sees my expression and turns to look too. He gets up, firing, but he’s bleeding.

There’s indecision on Robin’s face. They’re struggling. He knows it; I know it.

“Robin, please,” I say, “I’ll be right here, just through the door. We need to have a plan; I have one! People are screaming—that means they’re freaking out. Emiya said he thinks someone is helping us, or, is using us to try and sabotage Ur-shanabi. If people are worried when the doors changed, it means the person probably opened the ones keeping those stuck on our level, right? If we can lead them up or down, then they’ll have to un-summon it, to protect themselves! We won’t have to kill it.”

“What if they don’t have a way to,” counters Robin. Behind us, David narrowly misses being bitten in half, and takes a shot at one of their skulls with a slingshot. It takes out an eye-socket, which immediately reforms.

“Would you summon a monster that eats people that can’t be killed without some plan to get out of it if things went wrong?” I ask.

Robin makes a face. He looks back at the others. One of the gashadokuro’s makes a grab for Emiya and almost gets the lancer as he ducks, but he manages to roll out of the way and keep his grip on the unconscious body, a barrage of swords appearing out of thin air and slamming into the thing to push it away from him as he does.

“…Fine! Fine,” snaps Robin, turning to me, “You’re not a bad strategist, and it’s a better plan than whatever those idiots are doing. Worst case, they have no plan, but the gashadokuro become their problem for a minute, buying us some time.”

Wait I don’t want people to get eaten though.

“Don’t give me that look,” he says, stressed, “I’ll do what I can! I know you don’t want people to die, but look at that thing! . … Okay! I’ll try—we’ll try.”

I give him a watery smile.

He sighs, then takes my right hand with fervor and kneels, giving me the most intense look he ever has. “Listen to me. You have two command spells left. I’m not going out there unless you swear to me. On everything you have ever cared about—the second you think you even maybe aren’t safe out here alone, while we’re doing that, you will use one of those spells to call us to your side to save you. You don’t wait till there’s no option, you don’t try to force your way though it. The second you think you might need one of us, you call us. I do not want you to die because I left you alone. I need you swear this to me, okay?

I stare at him.

He sighs, and puts a hand on my shoulder kindly, giving me a worried almost smile. “Ritsuka, trust goes both ways. You want us to trust you to be okay while we do this, we will. But only if we can trust you’re not going to throw your life away on something stupid. You can’t die on us. We all die too. And on top of that, none of us wants you dead. You have to take your own life seriously. Hero shit isn’t being careless, or stupid. ‘I might be okay’ isn’t what it is. There’s a big difference between knowing you take out something and die, or everyone does, and flinging yourself at the first dangerous thing you see because it might be better for someone.”

“Okay,” I promise, taking that to heart, “I promise. If I get scared, or think I’m in trouble at all, I promise. I’ll call for you.”

Robin looks into my eyes, checking to make sure he believes me I think. I’m not lying, though, and I think he sees that. He smiles and pats my head, then hesitates. Reconsidering, he takes off his cloak, then reaches up and removes the scrunchie I’m using for my little side ponytail. “I need something that smells more human than me,” he offers by way of explanation with a smile, holding it up. I give a nod. He slides it around his wrist, and then puts his cloak over my shoulders and slides the hood up. “Here,” he says, giving me a smile that’s still a little worried, even though he’s trying to hide, “Unless you attack something or use magic, you’re pretty much impossible to see or sense so long as you keep that on. It’ll keep you safe if something happens to the door. Don’t take it off.”

“But. Don’t you need it?” I ask. The fabric of the green cloak is worn and rugged, but it somehow still feels comforting, almost soft. Like…a well-worn favorite jacket does. It feels safe inside it. Like hugging your mom and dad.

“For this?” says Robin with a snort. He straightens up and tugs an arm behind his back, making a show of stretching, and cracks his neck as he moves over towards the door, “No. I only need it for serious threats.” He gives me a smile over his shoulder, then vanishes into spirit form, reappearing on the other side of the barrier near Billy, launching a barrage of arrows at the nearest monster. I hear them in my head, going over the same plan I gave to Robin, and to my relief, they take it. Billy fires a barrage of bullets into one of their faces, then runs dangerously close, before leaping up, shooting a hole through the floor, and vanishing into the next story up. Emiya fires a similar barrage at the one near him while David breaks a hole in the floor above, and Robin, scrunchie still around his wrist, rushes dangerously close to both, trying to rub off the scent, before vanishing up one of the holes, followed by David and Emiya. Agitated, both gashadokuros follow them, ripping absolutely terrifying paths into the ceiling as they go.

Robin’s cloak wrapped around my shoulders, hood up, I make it to my feet and watch, kind of stunned. I hear lots of noise from above, but it’s hard to tell what’s going on. I focus on the connections, and I know they’re all still alive right now. So that’s good.

It's…funny. I wasn’t scared at all to be alone until I was, but now that it’s quiet on this floor, and I’m alone, I feel…vulnerable. Isolated. Defenseless.

I hold up my hand and look at the command seals there. Two left.

It’s okay. You can call for help if you need it, and Robin said they’ll appear right at your side, but right now you don’t need that. You’re okay. You have Robin’s cloak, and nobody can see you. You just need to wait, and trust they can do this, and keep giving them energy. You can do that.

Behind me, there’s a sound. I spin on my heel, terrified, but it’s just the Slick of an automated door opening.

Wait. That’s not normal at all.

I’m alone. Why would?

Trying to think fast, I dart to the side of the wall and press against it. It’s okay it’s okay it’s okay. You’re invisible.

The door that opened is about eleven doors further down the hall, at basically the far range of what I can see.

Nothing comes out.

After a few seconds, the door shuts again. Then opens. Stay open. Shuts partially, opens again.

What the…heck?

It closes. Then opens again. Partially closes, opens. Partially closes, opens. Closes fast. What? It. It’s…a pattern?

I try to focus. Wait for it to start over. Open. Close. Long pause. Open, partially close, open, patially close, open, close, partially close, open. Long pause.

It’s – it’s dashes and dots?

Nope—no—no way! I have to be safe right now, and stay put. I am not engaging. I don’t know what this is, or if whoever has been interfering with, or, helping—I’m not really sure anymore—us wants? But I can’t. I can’t do that right now. I have to sit here, and just stay safe.

….

It keeps happening. I close my eyes and try to focus on my connections, trying to make sure everyone is okay. Try to shut out the sound of the door opening and closing.

Finally, when I can’t take it, I look over at it in distress.

It doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter what you want me to do; I can’t do it! Please stop!

The door does not stop.

Chewing myself out internally for doing this, I take my phone out and look up a Wabun chart, because I have no idea how to translate on my own. Wait for a pause I can tell is the end of a letter.

‘---.-‘ ---that’s… ‘Su’. ‘-.--’ is…’Ke’? …Wait. ‘.-.--’ Thanks… ‘Te’. It goes again. Just a single long open, quick close. ‘-.’ ‘Ta’.

Oh no. I wasn’t at the start of the word, and I know what the person moving the door is saying. They’re saying ‘Tasukete’. They’re saying, ‘Help me.’

But I can’t, I think desperately, squeezing my eyes shut, I can’t I can’t I can’t! I have to stay put, and stay safe, I’m sorry; I’m sorry! I can’t, I promised Robin I’d be safe!

I can still hear the door. Someone who doesn’t know me at all is trying so hard.

So hard.

…It might be a trap. It’s probably a trap. But. It’s gotta be the same person who closed the doors and opened the ones on the other floors, right? That helped us. It’s…it’s probably still them, and someone has kind of been helping us, or, Emiya thought so. Maybe it’s real—maybe. Maybe somebody needs help in there.

I know, I know, I know it’s stupid but.

The door keeps making it’s slow Slick and Thump sounds, and I’m hearing it as ‘Help’ over and over in my head now that I know what it says. ‘Help me, help me, help me.’

I…

I. …

Chest full of guilt and anxiety, wishing anybody at all was with me, I push off the wall and turn slowly towards the door.

You don’t have to do this.

I take a step.

You know it’s stupid. You know it’s dangerous.

I take another.

Why are you doing this! Why? You know it could be a trap!

I know it could be, but I keep going, slowly.

Why?

Because. …Because somebody might be in trouble, somebody I could help right now. Because somebody might be in trouble. Somebody I could help right now. If some stranger has been helping us, which I really think they have, then, …I think that means we can trust them. Right? And they think I can help, they think I need to help right now. And. And if someone is in trouble, and I walk away, I’d regret that.

I hesitate a few steps from the door, second-guessing myself now that it’s time to really make a choice.

You’re still invisible. It’s okay. If anything happens, you can just call them. Right?

Eyes on my two remaining command spells, I raise my hand and close my fingers into a fist.

Right.

I close the distance to the door and stop on the threshold, breathing shaky.

Okay. You asked for help, and I came. What do you need?

I forget that since whoever is doing this can’t see me, they won’t know to stop the door, and still repeating its pattern, it starts to shut on me, and not wanting to be hit by it, I hop over the doorway into the room.