#cthulhuwithtea

"What now, sir?"

Crocodile's eyes averted towards his partner's apathetic features. Daz knew full well what his boss's next plan was, yet he remained hesitant while he took a drag on his cigar. It wasn't as if he needed permission, but perhaps Crocodile was unsure if his desired destination was truly acceptable after all this time.

Had they missed him? Would they recognize him? Was (Name) even still waiting for him?

Those questions replayed over and over in his mind while he had laid to waste in his cold, empty cell. His determination to see them again was what kept him alive and thriving, but he'd be lying if he said his mind didn't trail off to the more somber, unavoidable questions while he attempted sleep. There were times when he pondered if it were better that way, Crocodile atoning for his sins while his lover escaped away, happy and finally safe. Perhaps it was the life they both truly deserved.

But Crocodile was a selfish man, and he knew life would never be livable without them by his side, so he took the self-serving path.

Though that idiot Strawhat was the reason he got into prison in the first place, Crocodile would have to thank him later. Because of Strawhat's prison break in, and Crocodile's ultimate break out, life seemed to offer the lonely Crocodile a second chance. Redemption was in the cards for him, and he knew full well to seize the opportunity while it revealed itself. He had done many wrong things in his life, but nothing more vile as leaving the one person who loved him through his good and bad days behind. He'd never fully forgive himself for pondering such weak, depressing thoughts while away, debating with himself over and over again if his lover was better off without him. Crocodile would never atone, but there was one person who might forgive him, and that's all that mattered.

"Let's go home." Crocodile muttered with a long, dramatic exhale of smoke.

Home wasn't Rainbase anymore, of course. Home would never be Alabasta again. But that didn't matter much to him, as home was now a remote island just outside of the Grand Line where his lover waited for his return. Hopefully, Crocodile thought to himself solemnly.

Daz could see the melancholic look in his captain's eyes, though Crocodile tried his best to remain ever stoic. Daz also knew his captain wasn't one for sentiment or heartwarming talks, but that didn't stop him from offering his boss and ultimately friend a reassuring statement, "They'll be there, Sir. (Name) will be happy to see you again."

Crocodile's teeth instinctively clamped down tighter onto his cigar as he winced, fingers shaking as they clawed tiny dents into the wooden railing. His throat was dry, clenched so tightly from the overflow of emotions that there was no physical way a response could escape, but Daz had sauntered off to leave his captain to his own devices. For the first time in months, Crocodile broke down, his facade shattering like glass as he looked out to the open sea, salty tears rolling leisurely down his cheeks.

He despised weakness, but in the moment, above all else, that's all he could feel. Weak for remaining in those horrid cages for so long, weak for practically giving up time and time again, weak for ever doubting that his lover would wait for him, and weak for crying on the goddamn ship for everyone to see. The flux of emotions was beginning to make him physically ill, so he remained in his cabin for most of the trip.

It was midday by the time Crocodile and the remains of his crew arrived at the island. He had been waiting for this day for so long, yet his legs buckled at the stairway leading from the ship to the sands of the beach. Everyone disembarked, while their boss remained on deck. Daz opened his mouth to question, but Crocodile was quick to snap, "Just sea legs."

With heavy steps, he descended the walkway, legs threatening to collapse under him as he got closer and closer to the shore. Why was he so scared? He couldn't explain his previously rapidly beating heart as the ship grew nearer to his destination. And it only hastened as he walked along the island, the familiar quaint town waiting for him just below the hills.

He wracked his brain as the group made way to the town, wondering why he felt on the verge of vomiting his guts out. He had been so worried that his lover was no longer there, but now what worried him most was what he would say to them if they actually were there. How could he ever tell them that he was terrified of seeing them again after all this time? How could he tell them that in the cold lonely nights away he thought about life without them, and how they were perhaps better off without each other? Would they even want to hear anything he had to say?

His thoughts were cut short as they arrived at the entrance gate. He could feel Daz's burning stare in his side, "Daz, take everyone into town to get supplies."

For a moment, Daz wanted to protest. He wanted to be there for his boss while he went to find (Name), to offer support for his friend. But the way his captain ordered him so sternly, he knew it was best to leave him. So he made no complaints when he herded the group towards the lively town.

Crocodile inhaled sharply as his foot passed the gate line, as if he was passing over into a treacherous realm, one he couldn't escape from. He knew he could easily run away from this situation, however, and at times he desperately wanted to, but his body seemed to be pulled magnetically towards the direction of the safe house. The house where his lover resided during his absence; where his lover still hopefully remained.

The decrepit mansion stood tall on the top of the valley, though bigger as it was compared to the smaller village homes, it's chipped roofing and rotting walls made it quite the eyesore in comparison. It was merely a safe house after all, just a means for protection, not for luxury. He scoffed to himself, ashamed to throw his lover into something so horrendous, but he needed to protect them, he needed to ensure their safety while he went to prison. In the midst of all the chaos, this was the best he could come up with.

He had promised (Name) that when he returned he would take them away to build a new life for the two of them, something even more grandiose. His lover would never have to lift another finger if he had anything to say about it. It was his job to take care of them anyway, and he'd make sure they got the luxurious life they so desired and deserved. But he was empty at the moment, his clothes reeked of dirty prison cells and there was currently not a single beri to his name. He had a ship, a few crewmen, and Daz. Would that be enough?

Crocodile reached the door of the safe house and for a few minutes he simply stared at the wood, studying the few tears and scratches that embellished the frame of it. He raised his hook to knock on the door, surely signifying to his lover that it was him knocking. The heavy sound of metal against wood rang in his ears like a distant bomb detonation; loud, with a powerfully haunting echo.

There was no response, no padding of footsteps running to the door, no welcoming "Who is it?", nothing. The only thing the house offered was an eerie silence, the mansion seemingly as empty as he was. He knocked again, and again, and again, waiting to hear some kind of lively response. He grew more anxious by the second, only increasing his anger and disappointment in return, to the point his hook rammed through the door, tearing it apart as he forced his way into the mansion in a fit of rage. His blurred eyes scanned the room for a sign of life, but the cobwebs and tattered furniture only offered him desolation.

"(Name)..." He whispered into the empty air while the heavy amounts of dust began to clog his throat. He focused his ears on any hints of movement, perhaps this was all a silly trick and (Name) was hiding to surprise him. The lack of response was beginning to be a bit forlorn, however.

"(Name)!" small creaks of the old floorboards called back to him in echoes.

They weren't here waiting for him after all. He was an absolute fool to think they, someone, anyone would ever wait for his return; how could he let himself thrive off false hope? But maybe, just maybe, he had arrived too soon. Perhaps (Name) was in town and would return home soon. His feet almost raced towards the door, but he decided it was for the better that he awaited their return.

Crocodile sat along the tattered love seat, coughing a bit at the cloud of dust that arose in consequence. His heart raced at the idea of (Name) returning home to see him, and he perked up at every small noise heard outside the house, like a puppy waiting for its owner to return. However, with each passing second and each false alarm, he only grew more irritable. The sun was beginning to set behind the hills, causing the valley to illuminate in twilight. They should be home now - it's too dangerous to be out this late! His patience wore thin sooner than he had imagined and in a moment of defeat, grief, and weakness, his large hook broke and tore into every object imaginable in the room. Pages of old books, cotton from broken furniture, and chipped wood from those damned creaky floorboards flew and littered the room in disarray. Crocodile's lungs heaved as he screamed with each wear and tear, letting loose all of his frustrations on that revolting, cursed mansion.

His lover probably abandoned that shit hole the moment they had the chance. He couldn't blame them, but they were supposed to wait for him! How could they not believe in him? Did they really think he would never return? Perhaps this was karma for his own dark thoughts, for the times he didn't believe in himself.

In the midst of his chaotic disposal, someone entered the door way in shock, watching the beast tear into it the floors. The surprised gasp coming from the body caused Crocodile to turn in surprise, laced with a slight hope.

To his dismay, it wasn't (Name) and he should've known better, "Get out!" He couldn't help  but bellow at the odd man. If he couldn't see his lover he quite honestly didn't want to see anyone else, especially in such a wretched state.

"I was going to say it's about time someone destroyed this dump." He meekly responded.

Putting two and two together, Crocodile realized this must be a neighbor, there was a house nearby after all. He took in a steady breath, straightening his loose, maniacal hair back into its greased slick back style. With purposeful steps, Crocodile approached the man, watching with slight amusement as he visibly gulped at the large monster approaching his frail figure.

In one swift motion, the neighbor's neck was constricted tightly between Crocodile's large fingers, and slammed against what was left of the wall.

"Where's (Name)?" He questioned plainly, eyebrows relaxing for the first time in days.

"W-what are you doing!" The man choked in response as his sharp nails clawed desperately into Crocodile's flesh; he could feel the life draining from his body ever so slowly.

"Don't make me ask again, fool." He spat through gritted teeth, the familiar anger and desire to kill returning once again.

"(Name) doesn't live h-here anymore..." He coughed, on the brink of life and death as stars danced in his eyes, "They're in a better place..."

Crocodile wanted to snap his neck for spouting such lies, but instead, all strength left his body as he dropped the man onto his knees, Crocodile collapsing onto his own. Once the man got his breath back, he ran for it, but Crocodile could care less. In a better place? There was no way...

"Boss!"

The faint call of his name sounded like distant waves lulling him to exhaustion. He had spent so much energy, so much time getting back, only to find out that his lover had passed. He didn't even get a proper goodbye, how could they just abandon him like that? Fleeing town was way better than dying.

"Up the hills, Sir! Go!"

Coherent sentences were jumbling in his brain like puzzles. He tried to decipher, formulate the sentences, but nothing was possible with his mind racing so hastily. Dead, they're dead.

A familiar hand reached down to pull the shaken Crocodile to his feet. Crocodile's eyes averted lazily towards his partner's ever apathetic features, "They're waiting for you. Stop wasting time."

Next thing he knew, Crocodile was running for the trees, his heavy legs carrying him up rough hills until he reached the top. The bright orange of the setting sun made his eyes squint, watering at the sudden bright light. He looked up to see a figure at the edge of the cliff, looking off into the vast ocean. It was a figure he knew all too well. Even though distance tried to disorient his memories, he would always remember the way (Name) looked.

Their pure white clothes danced in the ocean winds, hair glistening under the sun. They looked like an absolute angel in this moment, and he almost believed their death to be true. How was it possible for a mere human to look so perfect?

Their head turned to his figure, visibly caught by surprise at first as a hand reached up to their gaping mouth. Crocodile's legs stiffened under him, terrified of their next move, but his arms seemed to instinctively open up for their embrace, just like old times.

To both of their surprise, his lover's bare feet ran towards him like their life depended on it. They ran to Crocodile, and he couldn't stop himself from jogging a little to meet them halfway. They leapt into him, arms thrown around his neck and legs wrapping around his waist while his body consumed their entire being. Their lips found each other in haste, moving in desperate motions to ensure this moment was truly happening. Both pairs of cheeks were soaked from the sloppy kisses, but also from the joyfully sad tears flowing from their eyes.

Crocodile's hands held their head in place while also supporting their weight against him. He was terrified of letting go, worried they would disappear from him the second he moved. There was no physical way their bodies could be any closer, but they remained desperately pulling into each other, begging to feel each other's presence more and more. (Name)'s hands  gripped either side of his head, rubbing comforting circles with each swipe of their lips against his.

The pair pulled away, lungs screaming for air from their ceaseless passions. (Name) looked as beautiful as ever with joyous tears brimming their eyes and their quivering lips aching to dance with his again. Crocodile could hardly believe this moment, and all the other depressing moments seemed to disappear as nothing mattered except having his lover right there.

"I knew you'd come back for me." They whispered, delicately placing another kiss along his lips.

What a fool he was to ever doubt otherwise, "I'll never leave you again, my love."

Tears crept down their cheeks while Crocodile kissed them away, ultimately leading his soaked lips to their own once more, securing his promise to them. Their body drifted away from his own, steadying themselves on solid ground, and Crocodile frowned a bit at the loss of contact. They were quick to grab his hands however, generating a small sigh of contentment from him as they played at his rings like they used to.

His lover looked out to the sea with a smile on their face, no longer one of longing, but one of fulfillment. Crocodile mirrored them, looking out to the disappearing sun against the ocean.

"The sea always made me think of you. I'd come up here so often while you were away, staring out, counting ships, praying that one of them would be yours."

His hand tightened around theirs in sorrow; a silent apology. Words couldn't even begin to express his regret.

"The sound of waves crashing against the rocks made me think of all our times on your ship, so I decided to just relocate up here. I wanted to stay by something that made me think of you every day, because I..." their throat tightened, regretful to utter their next words, "I was scared that I would eventually forget."

They looked up to him with sorrowful eyes, worried that what they were saying would upset him or make him doubt their love. He didn't respond which only made (Name) all the more anxious.

"I-I didn't know how long you'd be gone, and so I wanted to be reminded of you every day, and I know I should have stayed in that safe house but I hated it! It was so big, but without you it just felt so empty, and I'm sorry I didn't take care of it and I'm sorry I was worried about forgetting you and I'm sorry for being so we-"

Crocodile pulled his hysterical lover into his body once again, the lingering scent of his cologne and the familiar warmth of his coat brought their mind to ease.

"You don't need to apologize. I'm just so glad you're safe. I'm so glad you're still here..." He whispered those last words almost inaudibly, scared to confess his own weakness. His hands pet at their head lovingly. They retreated to look up at him and he cupped their face in response.

"So, you're not mad?" They sniffled.

"What's there to be mad about?" He offered a lop-sided smile. All worries and fears had left his body the moment he laid eyes on them, "I have you now. That's all I care about."

They nodded lightly as a small grin graced their lips. Their head buried into his chest while their arms squeezed around his body, "I really hated that safehouse."

A small chuckle reverberated in his chest, causing a giggle to escape their own body, "Well, I might have redecorated a bit. Perhaps pissed off your neighbor as well."

That was a story they were looking forward to hearing, but it'd have to wait, "Wanna see the new place? It's smaller, but hey, no neighbors." They smiled slyly at him, dragging his hand towards the small home Crocodile had somehow missed all this time. It resembled the village homes he had passed by earlier.

"You built this yourself?" He questioned a bit incredulously, but he was proud nevertheless. Old (Name) was too pristine to be a home builder. He admired their new found strength and creativity.

"With the help of some village folk of course." They responded confidently, leading him into the home.

The home was like a shack, tinier than anything he was ever used to. It was a bit dingy, but at least there was no dust or ripped furniture.

"Thank you." They muttered, breaking him from his thoughts. He offered them a confused look for a second before they responded, "For staying alive. For breaking out and persevering. Thank you for coming home to me..."

With the hand they were still holding, he pulled his lover to him once again, hands reaching to touch their face, "I should be thanking you," he whispered, stroking their hair between the pads of his fingertips, "You were what kept me alive after all."

(Name) leaned instinctively into his touch, loving the way his hand felt against their skin. They knew the absence wasn't easy for themselves, so surely it wasn't easy for him either, and they were thankful for his endless love.