#crytic

As someone with no Netflix, I normally couldn't care less about the company's projects. Despite that, the other day, when I was surfing on the net, I saw an article explaining how this film, one of Netflix's latest hits, portrayed Spain, my country, as "un país de pandereta." Closest translation? Basically, a joke of a country.

The newspaper where I found this information was kind enough to provide us with a screenshot which reflected every single mistake that appeared in such a short scene.

Firstly, let's talk about what we can all see. Shall we?

There's a flamenco dancer constantly moving her skirt and fanning herself accompanied by a guitarist, the tour guide is wearing the national flag's colours (red and yellow) in a very ridiculous fashion and the bus seems to be very old, as if it were from the 50's.

Now, for what we can't see: the name of the tour company is "Gónzales", they serve champaign to the tourists and one the travellers even yells that someone has taken their glass of champaign.

As a Spaniard, for me, this scene is nothing but a joke so poorly developed or with so little research that it becomes pure ignorance. Meaning the creators clearly preferred to find a quick way to get the plot moving that they decided on using stereotypes instead of true, updated facts.

Wanna know why this is so wrong? At least, as I see it.

Listen up:

That flamenco dancer and her guitarist shouldn't be there. No, wait. They wouldn't be there. Flamenco performances are used as leisure or cultural activities, there is no way you would find them in the airport (because they were supposed to be in Málaga's airport) greeting new tourists. And considering there are actually more flamenco schools in Japan than in Spain, I can confidently say this.

Secondly, the dude wearing the Spanish flag's colours. Nobody on their right mind would do that! It's ridiculous. Ever since the tensions between Catalonia and the rest of Spain started, you can see several houses showing the country's flag in their windows or balconies, maybe some people wear some discreet silk bracelets, but that's it. We also share the LGBT flag like that, especially now that is pride month. Hell, Chueca's subway station is painted like the LGBT flag all year! Why did they find it relevant to show the damned flag?!

Then, we have the old, unsafe-looking bus. Listen, it's true most buses were made before 2008, but they are not so behind the newer ones either. Moreover, nowadays there are more and more updated ones! They have wifi, panels that indicate both the stop and the important buildings near it and, in general, buses are a much safer way to travel than cars. Even the older ones.

This one is good: "Gonzáles". You know, this proves that there is a huge amount of people, not necessarily only Americans, who make no distinction between Latinamerica and its culture and Spain's. Here in Spain, no one is called "Gonzáles". Basically, because unlike Latinamerican countries, we lisp. For us, "c" and "z" don't sound like some kind of "s". There's a lisp in those two letters when they are followed or, in z's case, preceded by "e" & "i" or "a", "o", "u"; respectively. Meaning, the proper surname would be "Gónzalez".

And last but not least, the champaign issue. Not only is it wrong that they portray us serving it to our customers (it's a tour bus, not a party bus, for Pete's sake!), but also the fact that someone's glass was stolen. Do you know what that implies? It means we Spaniards are thieves and untrustworthy, when in fact, most of us are nothing like that. It's easier to find mischievous Spaniards, it's true, after all that's the origin of "La picaresca"; but that's only a way of survival since we've practically been in crisis since the 17th century. There are many opinions on us, as there should be, but many foreigners that come here always comment on our kindness and our willingness to help anyone in need, after all, like most of the time, in times of crisis it's our people the ones who are always there aiding those who are in dire situations.

Please, I know this was the way they made the plot truly start, but that doesn't make it any less wrong. I'm trying to fight stereotypes here, help me get rid of the stereotype of Americans being nothing but ignorants.

1. Find the voices that whisper in the wind tunnels and let them remind you of trees but never follow their cries

2. Your ears are more telling than you will ever be. When a man smiles and it is just a touch too wide. Your ears will twitch. Always trust what they tell you.

3. The night is not your friend. You will see things in the flashing lights that you cannot explain and nobody else will know. These are your secrets to carry.

4. There is a woman who appears only in the darkest alleys on a crescent moon. If you meet her do not look her in the eye. You may have forgotten but she will always remember.

5. Make sure to carry snacks in a bag to keep your blood sugar up

6. If you see a building with an owl carved on its entrance do not enter. The meetings inside are not for you. If you see a building with a crow it is safe, but be sure that once you enter you speak only the truth.

7. Guard your name like you guard your heart. The Fey may smile and laugh but they are not kind, and will take what is yours.

8. If you go to a dance studio at 2 AM you will find a reflection in the mirror that flickers. It will come closer the longer you stay. If you reach out it may grant one wish, but be careful of your phrasing.

9. Magic is as common as the glittering glass but not nearly as delicate. Be wary. Do not trust what your eyes may see.

10. Put sunscreen on the tips of your ears every four hours.

11. You are in the land of misfits and rejects scurrying under the boots of the mighty. A glance can convey a thousand messages. You are all always in danger.

12. When the day gets hot and the streets grow hazy, do not be afraid. These wavering mists are your friend. They will heal wounds long forgotten if you are brave.

13. Snow creates prey of us all. It mutes the world. Be silent. A single sound will let them know you are here.

14. Your smile is your weapon. Use it sparingly. You do not want to know what happens when it becomes ineffective.

I am currently job searching, nothing I need pops up.

All I type into the search engine is Cryptic for hire? How to get a job as a Cryptic Creature? How to get a job as a Cryptic? and then I went to Tumblr for help.

Here’s my cursed doggo Nessi

I love her more than anything