I keep glancing at the box
Iāve gotten up and walked next to it
Iāve taken the 3 things I threw on top of it off
I smiled at the thought of opening it
The thought was enough for me to walk away
To throw the shit in front of us
And it hurt alittle to walk away
Ā But I did, I walked away
Sooner or later the box will just be a flashback
Ā Knowing I have a box of us hidden in the corner
Maybe one day Iāll share it with you
Maybe one day we can sit down and look at
Iāll walk beside you in the halls
And I wonāt tell you about the box
Ā I will hide the beautiful box of us
That I have forgotten little bits of what's inside
And even though Iāve started to throw the mini side boxes
That connected me to the box
Ā Iāve thrown them out the window
I stare down from my floor
And stop myself from running
Ā Running down thirteen flights of stairs
To pick up the little boxes and
Hide them with the big one
Ā The moment I go get the boxes,
Ā I will not open the big one
I might throw it out the window
Ā Or I might give it to you
Before you are ready to sit with my and look at
And if I give you the box before
You might throw the other box of us out
The box of our friendship
And I can't lose that box
So I can only open the parts
And I can hide some boxes
Ā Ā And in the worse of times, I can throw a box or two out the window
But I want to keep these boxes
Until I have a bigger box
One that makes this box seem ready to share
Ā A box where I have the emotional state
To deal, if you throw my boxes out my window
I am just going to sit here
Sealed, sitting in the corner
Ā Wondering, what I put inside
And What I have already thrown out the window