#doidonti

I'm having a drink tonight

Whether I'm depressed or just sad I don't fucking know

Every sane emotion leaves with every sip

Hold up....wait, I think I've got it : I'm beaten, dragged, stomped into the ground

Whether it's by the one that I lost or the one growing in me I don't know

I feel like I've failed it already by the choices I've made

This distuctional ass family I'm bringing it into makes me selfish as hell; a father that ain't got his self together and a mother that's still battling the demons of her past...yea we make a fucked up pair....

Yet and still the one above put this twelve ton weight on us

This...little being that I don't have the heart to get rid of or drown away

The one I can't turn my back on or forget

This...one...or two..or three...

I'm scared to find out

I'm scared to even guess...what lies next for them....for us

Yea, if I keep saying it I'll believe it...us...

He said he wasn't ready though, but I thought he was lying....being afraid..as all second, or third time fathers are I guess

But hell....he gotta figure this out just like I have to

But...do I... don't I.....

Do I take the money, or do I let it keep growning

Do I take the money, or do I let it keep growning

Do I take the money, or do I let it keep growning

I wish to God I knew what to do

I wish my mother had prepared me to make such a decision

To weigh such a prize

To sacrifice such a loss

To swallow such a pill...

As heavy as my heart is you'd think it weighed a ton, but all I can see is us living in a cardboard box or in a shelter

I am stuck between a rock and a brick wall, with no tools to chip away at it

There's no one to call to help me through this one

No one to soothe this anguish.... this trample of emotions

I know what he wants

But I know what my heart says

As usual though, my head is tryng to rule the show

But...do I or don't I...

Only I can live with this decision

But do I...or don't I

Do I, or don't I...

Do I, or don't I...