#crush stuff

THAT MAKES NO FUCKIN SENSE

Crush update!

At lunch I was shipping my friend Drishaan with his friend Rex and our friend Colin AS ONE USUALLY DOES SIGHH and then Colin started being like “is OWEN your boyfriend???” And I was like jaw drop lowkey tweaking out because ID NEVER TOLD COLIN that I liked Owen and then now him knowing ruined my joke that I have with my friend Emma that EVERYONE at the table can know BUT Colin so that’s that, and then Drishaan + Colin kept like adding onto eachother about how much I like Owen and then thank the HEAVENS because just when i started crashing out about it Owen CAME BACK FROM THE BATHROOM/OUR OTHER FRIENDS TABLE (thank the heavens) and Drishaan and Colin cut it out

In conclusion definitely lesson learned I will not ship my friends anymore

Haha. Awww, that’s cute and I can absolutely see it! I am not sure how it’d go personally but let’s try it out for fun. Shall we! God, I struggled with this so much so I’m sorry if it blows

Carmilla Carmine- Bandy-Bandy

You’re a unique one, that’s for sure. Thats what Carmilla tells herself when her beloved daughters, Clara and Odette, brought you as a brand new potential employee for them. A lonely quiet determined sinner with a connection to all kinds of snakes

Carmilla watches you, at first, to test how good you are at the job her precious daughters gave you and she is pleased with the results. You’re quite good but you’re also kinda isolated and don’t talk to anybody besides your hyper-intelligent ‘scarf-snake’ friend

But then Carmilla’s watching becomes one of interest… you’re interesting, your behaviour is a lot less than what she suspected from a Sinner worker and how antisocial and distance you are is intriguing for anybody, even her

Carmilla does end up approaching you and she gives you a luck h… despite the fact you already have one and whilst you’re kinda blunt and quiet and uninterested, you’re polite and respectful since you know her position and let her accompany you

So, this became routine. Everyday, Carmilla comes over to you during lunch and presents you with a fancy lunch she has made for you and enjoys a lunch break with you. She is more of the talker whilst you listen to her quietly, surprisingly

Carmilla took a while but she’s been relatively open, talking about her beloved daughters, about other Overlords annoying her during meetings, about a number of things about herself. It’s shocking for a strong mature woman like her to even speak on these things with her new employee

It took quite some time but throughout all the sessions Carmilla has befriended and talking to you and having a meal with you privately, you ended up developing quite the fat crush on her to the point you get jealous and agitative towards others being close to her… except Zestial, to a degree

Carmilla doesn’t really notice how protective and aggressive you’ve become to others. She just believes you and her are good friends but you don’t feel that way at all; you love her dearly, so much that she is now basically your everything… even after you feared women heavily due to your awfully tragic past including your primarily female cult of a family

You don’t really eat unless Carmilla is nearby and since Carmilla is a kind graceful yet powerful woman, even as a mighty Overlord, she’ll eat with you since she notices how dependent you are… on her? She suspects it’s something to do with comfort so doesn’t question it too much

Carmilla is your starlight, the sugary yet tough mochi that has truly changed your life from a bland hell of self-deprecation and loathing to something much worth it. Now, you can actually express emotions better and you want to give yourself fully to Carmilla as to express how much you adore her

Carmilla is seemingly oblivious to your intense love for her as she has grown to view you, as she acts, like a surrogate child of hers. She doesn’t notice your affections and favouritism and much more, she just believes you’re a enthusiastic employee of the business that wishes to please it

Carmilla does, in general, appreciate and like you. It’s why she still approaches and tries to bond with you to this day. You’re a mysterious, quiet but fearless and strong and willing to rip people a new one. She respects that and it’s a reason she likes you

Consider that you're romanticizing a fantasy, not a person. Your crush is on your idealized perception of someone else, not who they actually are in reality.

Realize that the person you're crushing on is a full human being with their own thoughts, personality, beliefs, mannerisms, flaws, goals, values, etc. that may or may not align with your preferences.

It becomes more difficult to obsessively daydream about something so mundane (like most of us in everyday life).

Uninformed hyper-fixation ends with humanizing them.

Do that again.

You arrive at the airport, palm sweaty as you grip onto your luggage

As you look for them in the crowd you can feel your heart racing

It's been a long time since you last saw them.

Goosebumps form all over your skin as you feel someone poke the back of your neck, hairs rising as you yelp and turn around to confront your attacker

And just like before, your heart skips a beat

You can barely hear what they're saying, words losing its meaning as you stay frozen

Before you know it, you're kissing them

Quickly you recoil, profusely apologising

It was rash

spontaneous

and totally not okay for you to do that without askin-

Once more you stand still, speechless

Their lips leave yours with a breathless sigh

"Kiss me again."

See you later.

Your arms strain as you stuggle to carry up the box

With a sigh you drop it down at the front door

Leaning on the door frame, you look at the tiny dorm room you payed for

It was very cramped

Boxes were haphazardly stacked everywhere

Random items strayed across the furniture

The two beds were barely visible amongst the clutter, small size clearly not helping them

The sounds of footsteps gradually got louder as your new roommate climbed up the stairs

Both of you grinned at eachother

Gently, they set down their own boxes

You wrapped your arms around their waist and took a deep whiff of the dusty cardboard smell

They chuckled, pulling you closer

You stayed there for a while, enjoying eachother embrace

But eventually, they had to go finish up some buisness

With a soft smile they looked back at you once more

"I'll see you later tonight"

Yeah...