#cronut rvb

There are a few characters in the Blues and Reds that do work. I’m sure you know which ones I’m talking about. It’s Temple, Loco, and Biff. And it would be easy to say well, they have more characterization, that’s why people like them. While this is true to an extent, it is actually just a symptom of the problem, not the reason for the problem. Temple, Loco, and Biff can exist on their own without their Red and Blue counterparts. If they were in a story where Reds and Blues did not exist, they would still make sense as characters. The other Blues and Reds do not have this quality. if you were to remove them from the show, Bucky, Cronut, Surge, and Lorenzo would not make sense as characters. (Gene is a special case we’ll get to later).

The reason that Sarge is who he is, and why his name is what it is, is because he is a sergeant who has made that his entire personality. War has completely taken over his life to the point that it is his identity. This is a complete story, this is a complete character. The reason that Surge is what he is is because what he is is like Sarge. Surge’s name doesn’t mean anything outside of it being similar to Sarge. Surge doesn’t have any qualities except for the fact that he is like Sarge. If you took Sarge away, Surge wouldn’t be anything. We’re supposed to believe that Sarge he was chosen because he’s like Surge, but Surge doesn’t have any characteristics for Sarge to be chosen off of. All of his characteristics are instead just based off of Sarge.

And this problem persists with all the problem Blues and Reds. Though Donut doesn’t have an in-universe reason to have his name, he does have an out-of-universe one. Donut, as well as Caboose, had their names picked from the default names that were offered from the original Xbox live service. Cronut‘s name was chosen because it’s similar to Donut. There is no reason for his name, except for the fact that it’s like Donut. Similarly, if Donut was supposed to be chosen based off Cronut, this doesn’t make sense. Because Donut’s personality was not originally like Cronut’s; it developed over time. Cronut is written to be based off of Donut’s later season personality, rather than Donut having been chosen because he acts like Cronut.

Tucker’s name doesn’t have a reason for existing like Sarge or Donut’s do but Buckey’s name is still boring as hell. The only reason his name is Buckey is because it sounds like Tucker. It’s based on Tucker. Tucker’s catchphrase of “bow chicka bow wow” is a commonly used mimicry of the stereotypical kind of music used in porn. It’s an actual thing that makes sense both in and out of universe. Buckey’s catchphrase of “boom chicka wah wah” is nothing. That doesn’t mean anything. The only reason that it’s that is because it is based off of Tucker’s catchphrase. It doesn’t work without Tucker existing. Buckey doesn’t work without Tucker existing.

Lorenzo just doesn’t make any sense at all with established canon. It is confirmed in season six that having robots is not standard for Sim Trooper bases, and the only reason that the Reds and Blues have them is because Church was there. Further, Lopez did not originally speak Spanish. He was not originally made to speak Spanish. The reason he speaks Spanish is because Sarge made a mistake putting his speech chip. If Lopez was supposed to be based on Lorenzo, he would’ve been speaking a different language from the beginning. But Lopez wasn’t made to be based on Lorenzo, Lorenzo with written to be based on Lopez. Lorenzo just shouldn’t exist based on established canon.

And although I think Loco’s character works well, there is a problem with his design. The reason that caboose has an alternate helmet is because in season six he didn’t upgrade to Mk. VI and instead downgraded to Mk. V. There’s no reason that Loco should have the same helmet as Caboose, especially not back in Desert Gulch. The only reason Loco has that helmet is because he’s based on Caboose. If Caboose was chosen because he was similar to Lock, he would’ve had the helmet from the beginning. But he didn’t. Because he wasn’t chosen based on Loco, Loco was just written to be similar to Caboose.

And there are potential ways to explain the discrepancies, to hand wave away the problems with continuity, but it still doesn’t change the fact that the Blues and Reds were written to be knock off version of the Reds and Blues, while canon is trying to tell you that the opposite is true.