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Thinking about the Blues and Reds. Redesigning them and redoing them in my brain.
Gene is now Jean, and is a trans woman. She and Simmons share a similar insecurity in their genders and accidentally feed into one anotherâs bullshit. They also constantly correct each other about nerd shit. Everyone is sick of it.
Buckey is renamed Buckingham. Is comfortable in his existence to an extent and is a sniper. More opposite to Tucker than similar. Very uncomfortable in romantic or sexual situations. Is somehow dating Jean.
On a fundamental level, the Blues and Reds donât work. The conceit for these characters is that they were the original Sim troopers. These are the guys that the Reds and Blues were based off of. But if you look at what canon actually shows instead of what it says, this doesnât hold up even slightly.
There are a few characters in the Blues and Reds that do work. Iâm sure you know which ones Iâm talking about. Itâs Temple, Loco, and Biff. And it would be easy to say well, they have more characterization, thatâs why people like them. While this is true to an extent, it is actually just a symptom of the problem, not the reason for the problem. Temple, Loco, and Biff can exist on their own without their Red and Blue counterparts. If they were in a story where Reds and Blues did not exist, they would still make sense as characters. The other Blues and Reds do not have this quality. if you were to remove them from the show, Bucky, Cronut, Surge, and Lorenzo would not make sense as characters. (Gene is a special case weâll get to later).
The reason that Sarge is who he is, and why his name is what it is, is because he is a sergeant who has made that his entire personality. War has completely taken over his life to the point that it is his identity. This is a complete story, this is a complete character. The reason that Surge is what he is is because what he is is like Sarge. Surgeâs name doesnât mean anything outside of it being similar to Sarge. Surge doesnât have any qualities except for the fact that he is like Sarge. If you took Sarge away, Surge wouldnât be anything. Weâre supposed to believe that Sarge he was chosen because heâs like Surge, but Surge doesnât have any characteristics for Sarge to be chosen off of. All of his characteristics are instead just based off of Sarge.
And this problem persists with all the problem Blues and Reds. Though Donut doesnât have an in-universe reason to have his name, he does have an out-of-universe one. Donut, as well as Caboose, had their names picked from the default names that were offered from the original Xbox live service. Cronutâs name was chosen because itâs similar to Donut. There is no reason for his name, except for the fact that itâs like Donut. Similarly, if Donut was supposed to be chosen based off Cronut, this doesnât make sense. Because Donutâs personality was not originally like Cronutâs; it developed over time. Cronut is written to be based off of Donutâs later season personality, rather than Donut having been chosen because he acts like Cronut.
Tuckerâs name doesnât have a reason for existing like Sarge or Donutâs do but Buckeyâs name is still boring as hell. The only reason his name is Buckey is because it sounds like Tucker. Itâs based on Tucker. Tuckerâs catchphrase of âbow chicka bow wowâ is a commonly used mimicry of the stereotypical kind of music used in porn. Itâs an actual thing that makes sense both in and out of universe. Buckeyâs catchphrase of âboom chicka wah wahâ is nothing. That doesnât mean anything. The only reason that itâs that is because it is based off of Tuckerâs catchphrase. It doesnât work without Tucker existing. Buckey doesnât work without Tucker existing.
Lorenzo just doesnât make any sense at all with established canon. It is confirmed in season six that having robots is not standard for Sim Trooper bases, and the only reason that the Reds and Blues have them is because Church was there. Further, Lopez did not originally speak Spanish. He was not originally made to speak Spanish. The reason he speaks Spanish is because Sarge made a mistake putting his speech chip. If Lopez was supposed to be based on Lorenzo, he wouldâve been speaking a different language from the beginning. But Lopez wasnât made to be based on Lorenzo, Lorenzo with written to be based on Lopez. Lorenzo just shouldnât exist based on established canon.
And although I think Locoâs character works well, there is a problem with his design. The reason that caboose has an alternate helmet is because in season six he didnât upgrade to Mk. VI and instead downgraded to Mk. V. Thereâs no reason that Loco should have the same helmet as Caboose, especially not back in Desert Gulch. The only reason Loco has that helmet is because heâs based on Caboose. If Caboose was chosen because he was similar to Lock, he wouldâve had the helmet from the beginning. But he didnât. Because he wasnât chosen based on Loco, Loco was just written to be similar to Caboose.
And there are potential ways to explain the discrepancies, to hand wave away the problems with continuity, but it still doesnât change the fact that the Blues and Reds were written to be knock off version of the Reds and Blues, while canon is trying to tell you that the opposite is true.
Lastly, to talk about Gene, who you would think is the worst offender of this but who I donât actually have a problem with. Because thatâs the joke. The whole point of Gene is that heâs exactly like Simmons. While the other Blues and Reds are supposed to be their own characters that just happened to be similar to the Red and Blues, the joke is that Gene and Simmons are so similar that theyâre basically the same person. And this works from a comedy and a thematic perspective, which I will get to in a later post where talk about parallels and narrative foils and such. But for now I will just leave it here by saying Gene does actually work.
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i've always had a little theory that buckey was the one who shot wash cause like. we see him with the sniper rifle quite a bit and he's not a terrible shot soo. i think it also adds another little layer of angst cause he's tuckers opposite.. do what you will with this
cronut would be a wellness guru influencer scamming people with healing crystals. buckey would be a sigma male influencer scamming people with supplements.
