#crazyblogging

i am fully, wholeheartedly into the wave of online discussion around overconsumption, single-use plastics, eco-friendly alternatives, etc. but unfortunately as someone whose moral anxiety/scrupulosity is primarily focused on the environment and climate change it does make it truly hellish to be on the internet sometimes

this is really really really weird but i’ve been stressed out after finding out that my sister is a big vindictives fan, because of course she is, because it feels... it makes me feel vulnerable, even though like it should make me happy just on the grounds of demonstrating in real life that vindictives ARE a band that appeals to shut-in crazies as shut-in crazies via identification, that’s how actual real life pop punk fans are experiencing and consuming them, it is not something i invented in my head 

It probably says things about me that the only external #validation about my body that matters to me (that isn’t from a very small circle of loved ones) is just finding out that I wasn’t just being a whiny baby wuss about some kind or another of severe physical distress. So much less shame to know that something was a bad drug reaction, or a “shredded” tendon, or torn muscle that healed wrong or nerve issue indistinguishable from several crises than to think that I was just feeling bad “for no reason”. I’d never hold someone else to those standards, but I can’t get past it myself!