#coyotesqrl

Yesterday was C R A Z Y all day because I had to give a presentation at 3 so of course there was zero downtime to mentally prepare. Presentation went well, though and I’ve been getting lots of nice comments from coworkers today. 

Although a bit busier than usual for a Friday, I still could have left around 2 and would like to leave now but ugh, 40 hour work weeks amirite? 

First thought upon waking this morning, “when can I get back into bed?”

Ever have that thing where you’re not really hungry but you’re craving a flavor and you’re not sure what that flavor is but damned if you aren’t wanting something but you’re not sure what that is? I finally came to the conclusion that, if I were home, I’d’ve solved it by having a nice cuppa. Alas.

Cliched, I know but holy shit how is it MAY?!?! (Yes, Richard, I do know how calendars work - don’t even)

The posts today on beauty and brains by monkeyfrog and new-naimhe were so spot on. I didn’t want to hijack either post because each was beautifully said but I’ve just got to add: that kind of talk can damage generations. Lately, my mom has been reading comments made about my sister and I from posts on her Facebook feed along the lines of “they are both so beautiful and they look just like you!” Do you know what she said to me after relaying this info? “I wish I had known I was beautiful growing up.” That sound you hear is my heart breaking into a million tiny pieces for my beautiful, strong, vibrant mother who, to this day, can only see her flaws. It’s maddening. 

Related to above: for years (and years) I never trusted people who said I was pretty or beautiful because most of my life I was fat. Not just fat - I was smart and fat. Or talented but fat. Or “you’d be sooo pretty if you’d only lose weight!” It’s very hard to believe someone who’s telling you you’re beautiful when not 10 minutes ago they were berating you for being fat. Like, you just made it clear that those things are clearly mutually exclusive so what the actual fuck?

fishtankmailbox posted about karma today and that also pinged onto something that’s been going on in my life. Here’s what I’ve learned and I’m hoping it applies to a current situation: all I can do is live my life the best way I know how and be true to myself and my values and hopefully that will get me through. Because fuck a bunch of monkeys if I’m not having revenge fantasies that would make Die Hard look like Anne of Green Gables.

painedbrain‘s naughty coffee post spurred my craving for a naughty coffee. I’m easily influenced when it comes to coffee OH SHIT I JUST REALIZED I DIDN’T GET DECAF! Welp, guess I’ll see most of you here at oh-my-god-it’s-so-late-why-am-I-still-awake-thirty. Crap.

coyotesqrl replied to your post “I’m watching “Aziz Ansari LIVE at Madison Square Garden” on Netflix,...”

He's amazing and that concert was great. Wait till the end and watch your love for Aziz grow more than you thought possible. :)

I look forward to that! Though honestly, I already love him a lot after reading that story about how some woman was at a party being creeped on by dudes, and she looked around desperately hoping for a distraction and just happened to randomly spot Aziz Ansari. He saw the look on her face and came over and pretended to know her and helped her ditch the guys, and then checked on her periodically for the rest of the party just to make sure she was okay. 

My fingers are loving this bamboo/silk blend, but my wallet just blew a big raspberry in your general direction. :)