#courting practices

You know, I just read something that made a good point.

Because LoZ is set in a sort of medieval fantasy setting, people would absolutely follow the customs of courting!

And, the thing is, I don't really see this explored at all.

In fact, I wonder if courting practices are different between the races?

I mean, obviously Gorons wouldn't have any. But what about the rest?

We know that Zora females gift a Zora Chestplate to the one she wishes to marry, so it's highly possible that their courting methods are gift-oriented.

And based on what we've seen of interactions between Zora in romantic relationships, it seems that they are prone to schmoopy-doopy-ness. By that, I mean that they are very cheesey & traditionally romantic. Giving their spouses flowery nicknames.

It also seems plausible that the Rito might be prone to serenading.

Ooo! I think I want Lurelin to have a tradition much like the Hawaiian one where women will wear... plumerias I think, in their hair in certain ways depending on their relationship status!

I can't remember exactly how they wear it, or when, off the top of my head though.

I am sorry if Its too silly, please feel free to ignore this ask 😅

Hi there!

This is not a silly ask at all!

Galahkari do indeed have courting practices. I have already written a bit about it on here, but it's been years, so the posts are buried deep, I suppose.

(Found them! Here and here)

If a Galahkar is interested in another one, they serve the other party their limeschti. The traditional welcoming tea. Each Clan has a different recipe.

It's to say "You are welcome in my life, will you consider staying?"

To accept, the tea is drunk. To decline, you push the tea cup away from you towards the other party. There are no traditional words needed, but it's considered polite form to also verbally decline (maybe with a reason for it).

If the invitation is accepted, the two parties go on public outings together. Festivals, holidays, storytellings, dances. The whole nine yards.

During that time (time span varies from couple to couple) they can start to give each other small gifts. Those gifts come in different stages.

The first gifts are to introduce yourself. Mostly these gifts are things that have to do with the gift giver's occupation. An Ostium might gift self made alcohol or other drinks. Arras tend to write poems. Ulrics gift things made from leather.

After that come gifts that are supposed to show how much you appreciate your partner. Things they might like. Basically, the longer this stage of courting lasts, the more personal the gifts get.

The next stage is going on trips together/going hunting. The intend is to spend a prolonged time alone together without (too many) distractions, to see if this relationship can last.

Afterwards you officially introduce yourself to your partner's Clan Head. Their blessing isn't needed for the courting to proceed, but proceeding without it is like eloping in the eyes of the Galahkari.

Lastly there is the Hunting Trophy. Presenting it to your partner is the official proposal to marry. If the other party agrees, they take the trophy and craft an answering gift. (In Heart of Thunder the coeurl pelt Cor gave Nyx was the Hunting Trophy and the necklace was Nyx's answering gift of acceptance.)

Continuing my courting gifts ask; would it be proper if the courting party is the only one to make such gifts? Or is it acceptable to go to a master of such art and commission/trade for the gift? If someone were to refuse any sort of material good (and the implications behind THAT) would that simply be held in the clan.. vaults?.. until someone else gifts/uses it? 

Me:

Hi!

I decided to answer these in one go. I hope you don’t mind.

General courting practices are outlined here.

For your more specific questions:

All the items you have listed off can be and have been gifted. Handmade things are generally better received than bought things, no matter how bad your craftmanship is. It shows the recepient that you’re willing to put thought, time and effort into this relationship.

Of course, if you are unable to make things yourself, be it due to a handycap or something else, bought things are perfectly accepteable. So you can go to the master of an art and commission something.

Refusing a gift is kinda tricky.

There’s only two instances really, in which gifts are refused. First, if the gift is unsuitable and second, if the recipient wants to call the courting off.

Let’s say an Ostium is courting a Lazarus.

Now at the first stage of gift giving, the Ostium might gift the Lazarus self-made alcohol and meat they hunted themselves. If the Ostium is a good cook (which most of them are) they’ll also make meals for their partner. The Lazarus is prone to gift beads (though those are considered universal gifts, as are knives) and jewellery that suits their partner.

It’s to say ‘this is my Clan, are you willing to accept this?’

Second stage of gift giving is basically the same but reversed. Now the Ostium gifts the jewellery and the Lazarus the alcohol. This is only a rough example because personality also plays a huge part in this. After all, you want to signal that you listen and respect your partner.

So second stage basically says ‘I accept you and your Clan and I’m getting to know you’

Then comes the Hunting Trophy. If we go back to the Ostium-Lazarus example, the Lazarus would probably get their partner a snake skin, and the Ostium would gather precious stones or crystals or something along those lines.

I... never thought of that?

See gifting living things is a pretty dark grey area, because in the Galahkari belief living things don’t belong to anyone but themselves. So they can’t be gifts.  Oh, you can take care of orphaned animals no problem or give them to someone who is better equipped to do it.

Animals can be members of the family, or just be occasional visitors. Friends and/or companions.

*rolls up sleeves*

Here a rough step by step outline of How Galahkari Court:

Serve the person you like your Clan’s limeschti outside of your Clan lands. This can be done anywhere from in the middle of nowhere in the jungle, to the town square or on a boat.

If they accept your invitation? proposal? to court (which they do by drinking the tea) you go on public outings together. Which among other things means festivals, holidays and public storytellings. The latter of which happens at least once a week.

If both parties are still living and willing to continue, they start gifting each other things that have to do with their Clan’s traditional occupation.

This escalates into gifting small things that have to do with your intended’s Clan’s traditional occupation, to show that yes, you understand what their Clan does. (This point only happens if you are courting someone from outside your Clan. Most Clans are big/widespread enough to marry within it and not risk incest.)

Afterwards come regular hunting/camping trips. The goal here is to see how well you work together/do problem solving together.

If you both still continue to court you introduce each other to the other’s Clan Head officially. Which is basically a shovel talk disguised as a tea ceremony where the Clan Head among other things, asks and plucks apart everything you have gifted each other, have done together and how you were perceived in public. (Many a courting failed here, but the blessing of the Clan Head isn’t strictly needed. It makes things worlds easier, though.)

Through all of this you continue to do step two.

Lastly comes the Hunting Trophy which is an official proposal for marriage. If you accept you take the trophy and craft an answering gift with your own two hands. Boss level of this is your own Clan’s beads to braid into your fiancée’s hair or to wear as a necklace.

Now you can marry! Hurray!