#coupleprivilege

Non-primary partners and solo/single poly people get to have relationship requirements and set limits, too. The first place to fight the presumptions of couple privilege is to avoid unconsciously adopting them ourselves. And to not cave to explicit or implicit signals that we don’t matter enough to stand up for ourselves.

Don’t just assume that “protecting the primary relationship above all else” is “normal,” “right” or “good” — especially when putting this into practice means automatically devaluing other partners or other relationships.

When someone in a relationship is routinely expected to accommodate, sacrifice, ask for permission or come last — that’s a kind of power dynamic. The trouble is that presumed, unconscious, nonconsensual power dynamics tend to be very bad news indeed.