#aggiesez

Honesty is not hypocrisy, even when it’s uncomfortable. Hypocrisy is pretending you’re different than you really are.

When people are willing to put their heart on the line for you, to make themselves emotionally and physically vulnerable to you, that’s a gift to be honored.

When someone in a relationship is routinely expected to accommodate, sacrifice, ask for permission or come last — that’s a kind of power dynamic. The trouble is that presumed, unconscious, nonconsensual power dynamics tend to be very bad news indeed.

The catch here is that hierarchy, enmeshment and couple privilege are endemic to society, and quite insidious. Appearances and circumstances matter, even though they can be deceiving. Consequently, people who are visibly partnered up in a more-or-less conventional fashion face rather different relationship and social dynamics from visibly solo people. It’s not a level playing field.

...Solo poly people generally don’t identify very strongly as part of a couple (or triad etc.); we prefer to operate and present ourselves as individuals.