#couchie

re; these tags i just wanted to give u context cuz i am Normal™ abt disco elysium

^ THIS is shivers (has banger quotes. its basically ur character Communicating With The City)

^ and THIS is pain threshold (The Pain Guy)

🤝🏼 on collective sense of age bein' fucked.

okay uh. FOR SOUL i think soul is Not the core (i dont think soul's sys Has a core. imo imo). im imagining a scene that's like an argument between heart or mind (probably heart tbh.) w/ soul and they say "a long time ago, you werent like this. what happened to you?" YOU SEE THE VISION YOU SEE THE VISION.

+ despite not being the core soul is the Host and views himself as the only valid person in there and is in FULL DENIAL abt the system. IMOO. doesnt give his headmates autonomy or anything. IF somehow by some miracle he syscoveries & accepts the existence of it, then it'll be like some of those dysfunctional systems where the host is considered the "real"/main guy & is controlling etc etc. u get what im saying You Understand.

ALSOO also. hear me out. idea: soul has introjects of heart & mind. HEAR ME OUT OKAYYY it DRIVES him up the wall to have them in-sys AND outersys 24/7. bitch literally gets NO BREAKS from them. AND. okay so in this scenario he did do the syscovery right. because hes aware theyre arguing & shit (and it gives me more yummy potential. listen to this). he treats the heart & mind in his system like shit bcuz as i said above, he's the "main guy" & doesnt rlly allow em autonomy or supresses them etc etc right? well it reflects on his treatment of outerworld heart & mind too. he keeps telling them to point blank "shut the fuck up" or throwing a trident their way or whatever he does bcuz hes so used to doing that bcuz those guys r in his head 24/7 so there's constantly shit like that happening. except he cant TRULY control these ones, bcuz theyre not in the same body. so they fight back. enter angst about the lines between insys & outersys mind&heart blurring in soul's skewed view until he starts confusing what's real and what's not. or "not" i guess (since the other stuff is ALSO real but he doesnt VIEW them that way ykwim) and what conversations and interactions happened with which one. he feels like he's going crazy, he constantly has to double-check everything he thinks or says, he can't trust his memories, he keeps mentioning things that havent happened— it just makes him try to surpress his heart & mind even more, to try to get rid of them, before he truly loses his sanity, yknow?

ALTERNATIVELY. again in a scenario where the syscovery happened. he tries and MAKES heart & mind headmates, BUT, and hhere's the kicker, tries to make them how he thinks they should be. maybe it works, and now there's a heart & mind in his sys that he views as 'perfect', so he hates the outersys ones, bcuz comparatively theyre deviants, not as they should be, and he hates the ones in his system too, of course, bcuz having them inside his head isn't normal behavior either. maybe it doesnt work, and now that heart & mind are different than what he tried to make of them, maybe they turn out same as outersys ones, maybe not. and they know what soul tried to make them. and so they make his life a living hell. it's easy to, when you're in the same brain.

HIIIII YES YES I DO ACTUALLY LIKE #NOTTOBEWEIRD BUT THIS IS THE KIND OF ASK I FANTASIZE ABOUT GETTING

yeah i agree soul doesn’t have a core like. i think soul’s been like this as long as he can remember like he can’t remember being definitely one person

GODDDDD. NORMAL ABOUT THIS ONE .

soul probably doesn’t even know what theyre talking about or remember being anyone else so why do they act like he killed someone dear to them ? why do they act like he Was someone dear to them? which thought makes him more upset? and he can’t answer because he Doesn’t Remember and he can’t even begin to remember cause there’s just nothing there. well idk if he has memory issues it’s just my projection

Truly like even if he accepts the phenomenology of it he’s not going to accept the doxastic ‘i am multiple people in one body’[1] like no…. it’s just something he experiences. for some reason. but it doesn’t matter lol. they’re not People or anything just… the voices… and even if they are so what he’s not the most ethical person out there

GHH this is so Bad. but this would totally happen to him. in sort of a tragic way i imagine his headmates suggesting literally any alternate course of action, whether they’re heart/mind or not, but he just Ignores them because heart and mind don’t deserve the respect of any other method (…and he doesn’t deserve it either).

this could also suck so much i think any of them having a factive of the others that they actually were friendly with like. that would Kill Them. they’re not supposed to like Any version of them yet they like this one. and whenever they See them they can’t help but think of the Better Version. having a ‘Perfect’ heart and mind would screw soul up so bad. acting nice to them, them acting nice to him, wondering why the real heart and mind aren’t any better, wondering why They aren’t worse, wondering why he wants them to be worse, etc. if they turned out differently than outersys ones that’d be interesting too depending on which way. i Suppose they could make his life a living hell on purpose it’s just ‘that’s scary… i don’t know…’ to me cause you’d need to be careful with it so it wasn’t another case of EVIL alter . like if they’re doing things that make sense with their personalities then that’s ok it’s just

So this is primarily for @couchie, but I thought other people might like it too. Here’s a short poem in German that is fairly easy to understand, and I am going to try to explain/translate in Turkish as well!

It’s by Erich Kästner (which I actually didn’t know, I thought it was by Heinz Ehrhardt), who had a lot of clever, witty things to say. I like it because its dry wit helps put things in perspective, and it’s short enough to whip it out in all kinds of situations.

So here’s the poem, along with a reading:

Wird’s besser? Wird’s schlimmer? Fragt man alljährlich. Seien wir ehrlich: Leben ist immer Lebensgefährlich.

I shall translate line by line:

Wird’s besser? Wird’s schlimmer? Daha iyi oluyor? Daha kötü oluyor? (Is it getting better? Is it getting worse?)

Fragt man alljährlich. Her sene soruluyor. (People ask every year.)

Seien wir ehrlich: Dürüst olalım: (Let’s be honest:)

Leben ist immer Lebensgefährlich. Yaşamak her zaman hayat için tehlikeli. (Living is always life-threatening.)

As for line 2, I am not sure how to do the vague/generalising third person singular in Turkish. “Soruluyor” gets the meaning well I think. And I absolutely need a new dictionary! Also I’m being super literal with the last line so you get the punchline, I reckon you wouldn’t really say it like that in Turkish.