U.F.O. Sighting an Unknown Flexing Object Story
The night after Canada Day should have been quiet.
The fireworks over the Muskoka lake had ended hours ago. The last red and white sparks had faded into smoke. The cottage had gone dark. Trey had passed out first, sprawled sideways on the couch like someone had unplugged him. Alton had fallen asleep with his phone still in his hand. Coach Stone had performed one final safety check, locked the door, confirmed the firepit was out, and declared the day “acceptable.”
Wells had gone to bed still wearing shiny metallic gold shorts.
Because, as he had explained twice, “national spirit does not stop at bedtime.”
Coach had stared at him for a full three seconds.
Then he had said, “It does now.”
Wells had saluted badly and disappeared into the guest room.
That should have been the end of it.
It was not.
At 2:17 a.m., Alton woke up.
He did not know why at first. The cottage was silent except for the soft creak of wood settling and the distant lap of water against the dock. Moonlight spilled through the window, pale and silver across the floor.
Then something moved outside.
Alton blinked.
On the dock, beneath the stars, stood a figure.
Tall.
Broad.
Silent.
Glinting gold in the moonlight.
Alton sat up slowly, clutching his blanket to his chest.
The figure turned.
Then flexed.
Alton froze.
The figure raised both arms, hit a slow double bicep pose, held it for several seconds, then shifted into a side chest like it was being judged by invisible aliens over the lake.
Alton whispered, “Absolutely not.”
The gold object rotated again. Moonlight caught the shorts. The lake reflected the shape back upward, doubling the impossible scene: one flexing silhouette on the dock, one rippling beneath it.
Then the figure performed what appeared to be a lat spread.
Alton’s mouth fell open.
Somewhere behind him, Trey snored.
The figure stood perfectly still for a moment, head tilted toward the sky.
Then, as quietly as it had appeared, it turned, walked back toward the cottage, and vanished into the dark.
Alton did not sleep after that.
The next morning, the cottage was all packing, half-finished coffee, damp towels, empty snack bags, and the dull emotional weight of leaving. The Canada Day decorations looked tired in the morning sun. A small maple leaf banner had fallen halfway off the porch rail. Coach moved through the place with efficient command, assigning jobs before anyone could pretend not to hear him.
“Trey. Cooler.”
Trey groaned. “Why do I always get cooler?”
“Because you ask questions instead of moving.”
“Fair.”
“Alton. Towels.”
Alton stood by the window, staring toward the dock.
Coach noticed immediately.
“Problem?”
Alton turned slowly.
“I saw a UFO last night.”
Trey stopped reaching for the cooler.
Wells, halfway through folding a blanket badly, looked up.
Coach’s expression did not change.
“Define UFO.”
Alton lifted one finger.
“Unknown.”
He lifted a second.
“Flexing.”
He lifted a third.
“Object.”
Silence.
Trey turned his head very slowly toward Wells.
Wells blinked.
“Why is everyone looking at me?”
Alton pointed toward the dock.
“Because the object was gold, muscular, and doing a lat spread at 2:17 a.m.”
Wells stared at him.
“I was asleep.”
“Were you?”
“Yes.”
“Were you asleep in shiny gold shorts?”
Wells looked down at himself.
He was, in fact, still wearing the shiny metallic gold shorts.
“That proves nothing.”
Trey leaned against the cooler, suddenly awake.
“Bro. Did you sleepwalk onto the dock and make first contact with intelligent biceps?”
“I did not.”
Alton crossed his arms.
“You were glowing.”
“I moisturize.”
“You posed at the moon.”
“That sounds unlike me.”
Coach said nothing.
That was worse.
Wells looked at him.
“Coach.”
Coach folded his arms.
“Did you wake up outside?”
“No.”
“Any dirt on your feet?”
Wells glanced down.
There was a faint streak of dock dust across one heel.
Trey gasped. “The evidence.”
“That could be from yesterday.”
Coach looked at the floor beside Wells’ bag.
A faint line of pine needles led toward the guest room.
Alton’s eyes widened. “The landing trail.”
Wells pointed at him. “Do not make this weirder.”
“You made it weird when you became a nocturnal cottage cryptid.”
“I am not a cryptid.”
Trey grinned. “Unknown Flexing Object says otherwise.”
Wells opened his mouth, then closed it.
He looked toward the dock.
The lake was bright and calm in the morning sun, pretending it had not witnessed anything. The boards sat empty. No evidence remained except one set of faint footprints, a few pine needles, and Alton’s deeply offended certainty.
Wells rubbed the back of his neck.
“I genuinely do not remember doing that.”
Coach nodded once.
“Then we have two conclusions.”
Wells braced himself.
“One: you were sleepwalking.”
Trey nodded seriously. “Medical.”
“Two,” Coach continued, “even unconscious, you require supervision near reflective surfaces.”
Alton whispered, “Because he sees moonlight and thinks it is stage lighting.”
Wells pointed at him again.
“That is slander.”
“It is documentary.”
Trey finally picked up the cooler.
“For the record, if aliens were watching, they are absolutely joining the Golden Army.”
Wells frowned.
“Why?”
Trey grinned. “Because you gave them the recruitment pose.”
Coach picked up his bag.
“New rule. No sleeping in gold shorts at the cottage.”
Wells looked genuinely wounded.
“Coach.”
“No.”
“It was Canada Day.”
“It was two in the morning.”
“National spirit.”
Coach turned toward him.
“That is still not an explanation.”
Alton smiled sweetly.
“It may be an interstellar explanation.”
Trey nodded. “First contact. First flex. First violation of dock policy.”
Wells looked from one to the other, then toward the lake, then back at Coach.
“So we are not telling anyone?”
Alton already had his phone out.
Wells narrowed his eyes.
“Alton.”
Alton typed with the serene focus of a man performing public service.
“Too late. Draft title: Unknown Flexing Object Spotted Over Muskoka Dock.”
Trey leaned over his shoulder.
“Add: witnesses describe the object as shiny, confused, and unnecessarily vascular.”
Wells lunged for the phone.
Alton dodged behind Coach.
Coach did not move.
He did not need to.
Wells stopped short.
Coach looked at him.
“Pack the car.”
Wells exhaled.
“Yes, Coach.”
As Wells grabbed the last bag and carried it toward the vehicle, Trey followed him onto the porch.
“Hey, bro.”
“What?”
Trey nodded toward the dock.
“Show us the alien pose.”
Wells kept walking.
“No.”
Alton called from behind Coach.
“Just one. For documentation.”
“No.”
Coach loaded the final cooler into the car, shut the trunk, and looked back toward the lake.
For a moment, the morning was almost quiet again.
Then Wells, standing beside the car, rolled his shoulders.
Trey saw it first.
Alton saw it second.
Coach saw it last and closed his eyes.
Wells hit one quick double bicep pose beside the open passenger door.
“Fine,” he said. “For Canada.”
Alton’s phone clicked.
Trey howled.
Coach opened his eyes, expression flat.
“Get in the car.”
Wells climbed in, grinning.
The cottage disappeared behind them a few minutes later, the lake flashing between the trees as they drove back toward Highway 400.
No one mentioned the UFO for almost twelve minutes.
Then Trey said, “Do you think it’ll come back next year?”
Wells stared out the window.
Alton answered before he could.
“Only if the moonlight is good.”
Coach sighed from the front seat.
“Nighttime dock supervision,” he said. “Mandatory.”
Wells smiled despite himself.
Some mysteries were meant to be solved.
Some were meant to be posted.
And some, apparently, wore shiny gold shorts and flexed silently beneath the stars.
Some mysteries do not come from the stars. Some shine in gold shorts at 2:17 a.m., flexing under moonlight until brotherhood turns confusion into legend. Follow the glow, trust the bros, and join the Golden Army. Contact: @alton-gold77, @polo-drone-125
Featuring: @alton-gold77, @hero21us
