#cotieklenk

There are beats in everything. You can hear them if you listen. Some are pounding and obvious, like the sharp click of heels on professional floors, like the ticking of a large clock in a small room. Some are sneaky, they bring forth an innocence, but they line the walls like silent cobwebs. They are your pulse when you feel yourself pump, they are your undying little whispers in the night, what you see when left alone with wandering eyes. These beats cannot be measured. They are not noises, but rather feelings, not a word, but a familiar sound. Live inside those beats, fucking reign over those beats, for as long as I live my life.

I want to know now, how can I ever love anything but myself? I am the only person who experiences what I do, what I have done. I feel like everyone I have ever met is dying, and there is only me left. And I hate myself for survival. I hate myself for this brain, for its constant thoughts, for never giving up, for not lying in my own pit of the dead, as you all now do. I am so fucking tired of kissing everything I love goodbye. You all keep telling me I’m doing so good, but you go home to your beautiful individuals to love them at night, and I go home to myself, and I just gotta fucking wonder sometimes if you know what you’re even talking about at all. This is the last time I will start over. Goodbye to all of this and all of you. I hope to fall in love with all of your characteristics all over again in my next life, where I’ll hopefully be reincarnated as something with less dramatic feelings.

patience is a virtue, of which I have none. I tried to paint you flowers, but I only produce the sun, whoever took measurements, found that I was too much but should consider revisiting measurements and such

Yo I got irony swimmin straight up into my ears We put our futures on hold so we could conquer our fears But when we pulled back there was nothing left we could find Except these big old empty handfuls of dust and despise And my girls who thought that they were made out of gold Who paved the road to their dreams with everything they sold They all stay shacked up together off that interstate And get together to break bread and practice an escape They got their dudes almost convinced that they’re right for the job A baby on either hip and pills stuffed all up in their jaw They go out fleekin on the weekend with daddy’s money And end up pissy like the diapers of their lil bunny And all the while they’re raising assholes with no self esteem Who look at daddy and mommy and believe the American dream Babies absorb fake knowledge through their LED screens I know you heard it before but maybe I should scream! Cause if you ain’t moving or pursuing a better life for your kid Aren’t you just saying it’s okay and slapping on that straightbib? But I’m not no better, I stay hidden deep within what I have I sacrifice nothing for no one, don’t even try to look back I’m not haunted by what I’ve given to the earth through my bone I don’t look them in the face and fear my little clone so stop takin what I’m spitting as such vulgar phrases Im just trying to reiterate what’s been said for ages If you’re gonna reproduce while you’re on this earth Make sure you don’t break eggs just for the sake of birth

Let's acknowledge at this time that we are equal halves of two That breakin' barriers was nothing more than trivial flukes He's in the study, got a candlestick, but I ain't got a clue Baby beat me, baby eat me, baby fucks with me too Baby beats upon his momma, oh baby what can I do? Baby riding the whale until the carcass is glue Baby redefining how to make a killer debut Baby's cries live inside me from my ears to my shoes Baby meets in the streets and gives the women the fright, Don't want your money or no victims cause he's ridin for pride He wracks with sobs every week day that ends with y Baby hit me, baby bite me, baby's gouging my eyes I called the doctor, called my momma, called the piglets in blue But baby chewed on the phone line til it broke straight through I try to stifle him in places I think he might like to lay But baby's stubborn and I find him with his blankets ripped away Now baby's twisted my mind and I ain't actin very nice To shut a screaming baby up takes bloody sacrifice And what's a woman to do with only one device? I hope your hungry papi, bring an appetite Cause I got baby in front of me on a bed of rice

I dress up fiery organs but it doesn’t change their game Nacht der untoten my lovely, sorry to leave you with stains The heart is aching and frustrating in the winds of change These voices pleading and bleeding with constant growing pains I’ve made my lovers out of babies, my enemies outta spies My visions leave me in a sadness words can never describe And joy division tried to tell you love will tear us apart But you were prissy and got pissy and so you’re pressing restart You call me missy as you put your frisky hands on my thighs When you feel pain and see blood you simply widen your eyes You find me flighty but you're empty and I’m hardly surprised I’m not forgiving to a man who leads a life of despise Kill him

Ooh look at chu look at how you do Know all about me but nothin really bout you You recite when you write but you got new shoes And got real good news for people who love bad news Ain’t got a beat or a seat or a real piece of meat I told your lady that I’m shady and would she like to take a seat? I hear you talkin bout these clowns but you couldn’t mean me? Cause I’m Cotie Klenk and that’s fuckin neat Just splay me out onto the operating table Just to get a peek at the wise mans fable If you could peel back my cranium and look inside You’d know my brain is all but permafried Cause I invented the ability to self delude While you were all fucking her and tripping over your shoes I am a buoyant little flower on a mission to dream I'm existentially avoiding the desire to scheme I been learning about myself in these dreamy little years That I'm neither black or white and I have very few fears But you are incapable of planning anything at all You could hang the fuckin sky but shes still gonna fall We as humans are so cursed with these beating hearts That make it impossible to decide when we stop and start Cause I woke up alone a long time ago to realize That I want absolutely no control over my life I had a conscious choice to make regarding my actions I could just walk away from all these attractions Im truly hopeless to control even the next few words I try to handle my syntax but it soars away like a bird I keep telling you clowns over and over again That I run like the ribbons of the blood of men I am stupid and quixotic and full of fuck! I’m clumsy and undeniably uncontrollably suck I am only really redeeming in what I can create With my words that come out like the cheese ma grates There are some evenings I look back and think myself a fool There are some real situations in which I’ve been a tool But of this about Cotie Klenk you can never claim When pointing fingers at the shitty, I would never blame My fellow man for being anything other than alive Because I have no fucking motives on which to contrive So maybe I can’t keep my mouth shut when I’m having a few And perhaps I’ve disregarded what I see as blue But at least I have fun while I’m tangled up here And I don’t sit inside and fester on my own living fear So return to play the master of this game of ridicule I’ve really never minded the role of the fool